Trials of Change - Read on MistNovel

The song of rustling leaves and chirping birds drifted all across Konoha on a warm March morning. The sun had already begun its climb through the clear, cloudless sky, caressing every nook and corner of the Hidden Village of the Land of Fire.

Sakura awoke with a shudder and a start, gasping for air as images of bloodshed and destruction devoured her mind. She closed her eyes, desperately trying to calm her hammering heart, but the sounds and sights of war continued replaying behind her closed eyelids. She saw once again her comrades, ninja that once had been enemies, but turned into allies and her companions of the Allied Shinobi Forces, fallen to the ground with wounds so severe, that even her beloved shisho could not have hoped to heal them.

The impressions of smoke, filth, fire, and the stench of the rotting corpses of her comrades � they couldn�t possibly honor the dead properly out on the battlefield or in makeshift camps � had her hunching over, bile rising to the back of her mouth.

She was used to this. Or she should have been, at least.

Pressing the back of her palms to her eyes, Sakura stilled, allowing the memories of terrors and tragedies to invade her head and senses, one by one. Madara�s attack and Kaguya�s awakening had left nothing but death and despair in their wake. Many of her friends had died or gone missing, and those deaths, those unknowns, were wounds she knew would scar her soul forever.

But she wouldn�t cry, not anymore. She had shed all of her tears. Clenching her jaw, she pushed herself up, dull green eyes studying her surroundings with the skill of an experienced shinobi.

It worked

, she thought hysterically, taking in the details of the room she was in.

A room, no,

a house

that had been destroyed long ago.

Exhaling all her nightmarish memories and locking them away in some deeper, safer part of herself, she stood up, cursing the way her wobbly limbs felt short and weak and utterly foreign to her. She stumbled towards her mirror, where wide jade eyes stared back at her; the same shade, the same shape, yet smaller and utterly haunted.

�Sakura!� the voice of her shisho took her focus away from the blood-stained kunoichi in front of her, but the green light of her chakra didn't cease mending the woman�s skin.

The Godaime Hokage, Senju Tsunade, was making her way toward her young apprentice with fast and determined steps. �Sakura, you�ve got to come with me, Shizune will take over here.�

Sakura nodded. �Of course, shisho. Am I needed elsewhere?�

Shizune quickly approached, giving Sakura a small smile and a tight squeeze on her shoulder, but her glassy eyes refused to meet hers. �Go now, Sakura-chan,� she softly spoke, a hint of indecipherable grief in her voice.

Sakura was perplexed, but she mused the war had crushed all of their spirits in some capacity. Shizune's pain and grief, in particular, were new and overwhelming, given that her lover, Genma, had only recently been lost to her. She gave her senpai, her

sister

, a warm smile, and rushed to Tsunade's side.

�Follow me,� Tsunade commanded, and so Sakura did. Around them, comrades lay injured or dying, with medics tending to them to the best of their strained capability. She and shisho kept walking, away from the wounded and the corpses, and Sakura became more worried with every step they took. Her brows furrowed, but she kept her pace even as she strode behind her master, glancing around, mind and muscles ready for a sudden attack.

Somewhere in the distance, another quake shook the earth, its aftershocks reaching their location. She faintly registered the screams that came with it.

She'd known for a while now that Kaguya was getting closer and closer to breaking their only remaining barrier with every passing day, but Sakura had done her best to chase the notion away from the forefront of her mind and reserve her attention for her patients and comrades. It was infinitely harder to do so now, with no one to heal or bury in front of her, and only the trees and her silent master to keep her company.

They kept walking until they reached a small cave overflowing with entire tapestries of high-grade protective seals. Sakura�s eyes widened when she saw all the reanimated Hokage standing there, completely still and positioned in a circle. Jiraya-sama was with them, on his knees, painting symbol upon symbol in the empty space stretching between them.

�Sakura-chan!�

She whirled around, meeting her best friend�s cerulean eyes. Eyes tired and weary, but somehow still bright, like the wavering grin he was wearing.

Sakura soundlessly moved into his open arms. �Naruto,� she whispered, voice laced with relief. She held him close, relishing in the warmth he provided. It had been a few days since she'd last seen him, and she had been afraid. He was likely the strongest person alive, but he was her teammate, her friend, her brother in all but blood, and she had been worried out of her mind she would never see him again after she'd had to abandon the battlefield to assist the overburdened medics at the camp.

They squeezed each other tightly, but a moment later he let her go. �Sakura-chan,� Naruto spoke again, in a tone softer than any she'd ever heard him use. No, Naruto was loud and obnoxious and when he spoke, his voice was vibrant and ensnaring and� and she knew then that something terrible had happened.

�What�s wrong? Naruto, are you

�

�

�Kakashi-sensei,� he swallowed, and something inside of Sakura broke as she watched his face contort with pain and defeat. �Sakura-chan, Kaka-sensei is� he� he died. He died in Kaguya's siege yesterday morning, covering our retreat.�

Sakura felt her knees give way, her heart pounding so hard that every sound around her, even Naruto�s voice, became meager and muffled. The whole world stopped spinning for a second, or two, or ten, she truly couldn't say; she found herself once again buried inside her friend's embrace.

Hatake Kakashi had been her sensei in name only, never having taught her a single jutsu. Yet he had been her teacher nonetheless, her friend and patient and brother in arms. Dare she say it, he had even been family. After having spent one too many nights looking out at the cataclysmic emptiness their battles for survival always left behind, it was difficult to think otherwise. And the one lesson she would eternally thank him for branding her spirit with, to never abandon her precious people, was the one lesson she would treasure above all others for the rest of her life.

Although, at this point Sakura felt she was a lot worse than scum, and she had told him so. He had smiled, obviously faking it, but it had been him

�

her ever-tardy sensei, the one who so unceremoniously dropped her when Sasuke and Naruto had left Konoha, like she wasn�t even worth another second of his time

�

who had held her, soothed her and helped her retain her sanity in this Kami-forsaken world. It had been Hatake Kakashi who had forced her to admit to herself that she was not at fault for the deaths of her comrades (even if shisho

had been drilling that lesson daily into her for as long as Sakura had been her disciple).

Her tears stained Naruto�s jacket, but he wouldn�t mind; he never did. She felt his hands stroking her hair. His voice broke and broke and

broke

, but she couldn�t for the life of her focus on the actual words he spoke. �I�m sorry,� she finally managed to make out, �I couldn�t stop him. I failed our sensei, I couldn�t save him.�

With a sharp breath, she pulled away, glassy gaze solidifying into steel. �No,� she said, surprising herself with how strong her voice sounded. �Do not blame yourself. Do not

ever

. You hear me, Naruto?� It was her turn now to hold him tight, her grip bruising. �I know you did your best because that�s what you always do, and so

this will never be your fault

.�

Struggling to keep the tears from spilling down his whiskered cheeks, he rubbed at his face with his calloused hands. �Thanks, Sakura-chan.�

�Sensei hated to see us cry, yes? He never knew how to comfort us, too awkward to so much as breathe in the general direction of anything emotional, so from now on we do what he did best, okay?�

He scrunched up his nose and gave her a confused look. �What, we arrive everywhere three hours late and read porn in public?�

�

No,� she sighed. �No, we keep going. We do our jobs for the people we have to protect, we carry on with our duty.�

�She�s right, son,� a kind voice cut in, making Sakura jump. The Yondaime Hokage, Namikaze Minato, Naruto�s father, stood beside them, slowly raising both hands to place on her and his son�s shoulders. He gave them a warm look, full of sympathy and sorrow, as he too now mourned his last student�s death. �Just make sure to talk your worries out and not keep them bottled up inside you,� he finished with a small, broken smile, and Sakura wished so, so hard for a

different

smile, hidden behind a mask and only evident by the crinkles around a lone grey eye.

�I second that,� Tsunade�s voice echoed in the cave, and only then did Sakura realize that the Five Hokage and Jiraiya had been quietly waiting for her and Naruto to have their little breakdown and be done with it.

Upon seeing her master�s carefully blank expression, Sakura wished again, for just a fleeting second, that she weren�t a shinobi, that she could throw herself in Naruto�s and shisho

's

arms and cry, cry until night fell and the next morning came. Alas, she was not only a girl fully grown, already in her seventeenth year, but also a kunoichi, so she bit her lip and straightened her spine.

�What�s all this?� she asked, moving closer to the complex array of symbols on the floor. The Yondaime soon joined them, and a heavy silence fell inside the cave.

Jiraiya-sama was the first to speak: �It�s a seal, Sakura-chan, a seal I worked on for years before my death. I was never able to complete it, but with Tobirama-sama and Minato here, we have finally done so together,� he sighed and turned to Tsunade, waiting for her to pick up where he'd left off, but she didn�t. Her face was forlorn, silently regarding the fuinjutsu lines winding on the ground.

�Time travel,� the Nidaime said, piercing red eyes zeroing in on Sakura, whose mouth fell open at the revelation. �We were able to complete a time-travel, or more accurately, a time-reversal seal. It can carry a person back in time to change the course of the future.�

�But

�

� Sakura was still in shock, questions

spinning inside

her head rapidly

.

�

So

, someone will go back and

try to

prevent the war?�

�Yes, prevent the war and any other events that may have

directly or peripherally

aided Madara

in his

plans,� the

Sandaime

agreed

,

looking straight

at

the

interwoven layers of black-and-gold

markings.

Sakura nodded

, shivering.

�But how sure can you be that it�s not going to lead

to

an

alternate

timeline or universe, like the ones Obito sent us

to

?� she looked back at Naruto, who nodded at

her question

.

�We have

taken that into consideration,

and we�ve made sure the seal will truly

bring the traveler

back to their own time. An

earlier

point in their lifetime

,

with all their memories

completely

intact,� Senju Hashirama, the

Shodai

Hokage

,

said calmly, eyes

meeting

his brother�s in what seemed

to be

a silent conversation.

Sakura nodded again, but more questions came to her. What was she doing here?

Had

Naruto

asked to see her one last time because he would be

going back?

Did they need her chakra to power some section of the seal?

She glanced back

at

her teammate � her only one, now �

and found his

lips

were pale from how tightly they were drawn,

his

eyes

piercing

her own

. He simply stared and said nothing, so Sakura's gaze traveled

between the Kage and the Sannin.

�T

he time-jump will expose the traveler to

many risks,

chief among them

the fact that it could tear the

m

apart,� the

Yondaime

said,

his face as grim as

his son�s. �It will be physically

and

mentally

demanding

,

more than anything else. The chakra required is also another issue. Even with ours and Naruto�s Kyuubi chakra

combined

to fuel the

outer layer

seal and

ensure

the trip will not be cut too short,

we

would still

need

a

tremendous

amount

of chakra to be channeled into the inner circle by the traveler themselves. And it will have to be

perfectly

distributed among the seal components they will be standing atop

.�

Sakura�s eyes narrowed. Of course,

that

made sense. They were not talking about

hopping over

to a different universe, or to

pocket

dimensions like a Rinnengan user could, but going back in time,

to a previous point

in a person�s own life.

Sakura

's

head

suddenly snapped

up

.

�

If

Naruto

has to fuel the outer layer of

the seal with Kurama�s� um, the Nine-Tails

'

chakra,

or even just his own, which is already severely depleted and therefore more unstable than usual, that

means he can�t be the one to go back.� Minato nodded at her words. �So, it has to be someone with a great

deal

of chakra accumulated in their body, someone with

ideal

control over it, because it�s quite possible that the trip back in time will leave them

crippled or dead otherwise

, someone like��

Her words faded when she finally realized the reason she

had been called here, to see them and stand

in front of them. She looked around, desperately searching the grave faces of

everyone

around her. She looked at her shisho, who had

been so uncharacteristically quiet since their arrival

.

�

Shish

o?� Sakura whispered, new tears fighting to break free from the corners

of her eyes.

Tsunade

finally met her gaze, her own

amber

eyes

shining

with unshed tears

.

�I can�t survive the trip. My body

has grown

too weak, Sakura.

I've drained my seal of all the chakra within it already.

But you...� she paused

,

taking a breath right as Sakura felt her own lungs empty, �You�ve unlocked your Yin Seal, Sakura. I have trained you, taught you everything I know, and you�ve surpassed me

in every way that matters

. I watched over you and� raised you as my own daughter, so I know better than anyone that you can do it. You can go back, and you can change the outcome

, and the world

.�

Wiping

at her cheeks

, she

approached

her apprentice to do the same, pushing pink locks away from her

forehead

. �Haruno Sakura, as the Godaime Hokage, I assign to you

the

S-rank mission of going back in time, preventing the

Fourth Great Shinobi War,

and saving as many lives as you can

.

�

Holding

Sakura�s shoulders firmly

,

Tsunade

closed her eyes and opened them again

,

looking straight into

Sakura's frightened

face:

�Do you accept?�

Sakura

,

still frozen under her master�s touch

,

glanced around the

cave

. The other four Hokage and Jiraiya-sama were looking at her expectantly, but Naruto�s ear-splitting grin was what brought her back to

herself

, warmed her blood, made her muscles relax and her eyes

steel with

determination.

She could go back, prevent this Kami-forsaken war, and make sure that the people she couldn�t save in this life had a future in the

next

. Naruto� this time, she wouldn�t

let him live out his childhood

alone

and friendless

, this time she would become his family and save him from

the

hate and

isolation he had so unjustly suffered

. She could save Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei, Neji

, Sai, and Ino, and Inoichi-oji

� she would try her best for all of them.

�Yes,� she answered

,

with more confidence than

she felt, more trepidation than

anything else in her entire life

had caused her. It didn't matter.

�I accept.�

A smirk

stretched

Tsunade�s lips

then, brilliant and wide.

�Of course you

do

. You�re my student

,

after all.�

She was led

to

the middle of the seal

. Everyone

took

up

their

positions

around its

outer circumference once more

. �What�s going to happen here? To you?�

Sakura

asked

, dreading the answer

.

�This

timeline

will

cease to

exist,� the Toad Sage said with a small smile

.

�Good luck

,

Sakura-chan

.

I�m sure we�ll meet again in your new life.

Make sure to let me in on the fun when we do!

�

All

the confidence she had

been harboring

drained away

at his words

. She frantically looked between her best friend and her master. They seemed to understand her worries

,

and Naruto smiled that

radiant, toothy

grin

of his.

�Don�t worry

,

Sakura-chan! We�ll see each other soon and become best friends again.

You better believe

it!�

Her heart

splintered

in

to pieces

,

because she

would

meet Naruto

, would meet everyone again, and yet nothing in her life would be the same.

S

he made a vow right

then and

there that she

would take care of them all

, but

they

wouldn�t be

her

friends, and he wouldn't be

her

Naruto. Shoving her guilt and

bitterness

into the

darkest

depths of her

consciousness,

she smiled back

.

�Of course, we will

,

Naruto. I�ll miss you, but I�ll find you again

, and soon.

�

H

e nodded,

and they were both crying again

, but

Naruto's

smile

didn't disappear

.

�Better find me too, Sakura. Whatever happens in your new life, I know I�ll need my daughter by my side,� Tsunade

was smiling too, and then, without another word,

they started powering the seal with chakra.

Sakura activated her Yin Seal, black lines

and loops

spreading

across

her body

.

�Yes, shisho. I promise.�

She allowed herself

one

last look around

.

Some

of the Hokage wore

reassuring smiles, others tight-lipped frowns, but her brother was beaming at her

,

warmer than the sun

�

and it wasn�t because of the scorching orange chakra engulfing him and

flowing out into

the seal

�

and her shisho

was still smirking that damn smirk she

'd worn

the first time Sakura

had split

a boulder with just a flick of her finger

.

Sakura squared her shoulders, held her chin

high,

and gave them a firm nod.

The markings under her feet lit up,

black merging with gold,

glowing brighter and brighter until the whole cave was immersed in

the

powerful

pull of their warm, blinding

light.

�I�m so proud of you, Sakura,� was the last thing she heard, Tsunade�s

parting gift to her

, before

Sakura's

body

was being tugged up and down,

left

and

right

,

back and forth. Her skin burned, ripped, and mended

, and

her limbs

grew

heavy and numb

. She felt her chakra pathways expand and then burst apart.

At long last, like a supernova, everything

exploded

before there was only darkness.

�Damn it,� Sakura gulped and gasped, a mild panic attack encroaching upon her as she knelt, observing her painfully younger self in the mirror. Her hair was short � she herself was way too short � her hands, cheeks, and chin chubby with baby fat. She was shaking, and could barely believe what she was seeing, or focus on it.

Deep breaths.

Deep breaths.

That's it.

Endure it and it will pass.

I wish Ino was here. She'd be able to help me get through this so much faster.

But all Sakura had was herself, so that was what she worked with. She'd need to learn to make do with that, she knew, but the thought didn't help.

Bit by bit, breath by breath, her tunnel vision cleared and the pressure in her lungs eased, just as she'd predicted, though Sakura had no idea if she had simply forced herself out of her episode or if it had naturally subsided. She was certain she'd suffer at least a few more in the near future.

Huffing, she stood up, testing her balance and coordination, then walked around her room, noting how much difficulty she had when it came to reaching higher places or moving heavier objects like her chair and nightstand until she finally found a calendar perched on the wall. Dates were crossed out in a long line culminating at the latest one, which was circled in red. March 28th. More accurately, her fifth birthday.

�Oh, Kami,

no

.� Sakura buried her head in her hands, taking another deep breath.

She ran to her bedroom window and opened it, craving the fresh air.

Konoha stretched out before her, bathed in the early morning light, smelling of spring and peacetime. It was beautiful, and it

existed

, whole and hale and restored to her through this impossible fortune that had befallen her.

She couldn't tell how long she stood there, silent tears streaming down her cheeks, as she remained clutching at her windowsill like she'd collapse at any moment.

Just like her panic attack, her tears too eventually came to an end. A quick trip to the bathroom was in order, and after reveling in the feel of running water underneath her hands and on her face, Sakura returned to her room. She made sure to take her time doing so, to look around her home. It had been so long since she'd last seen it, or at least it felt that way. She needed to familiarize herself with everything she had missed and forgotten.

Back in her childhood bedroom, Sakura saw the clock on her wall indicating it was already exactly nine o'clock in the morning, and suddenly she felt some sixth sense of hers tingling, telling her to brace herself. If her memory served her right�

�Sakura-chan, it�s your birthday! ?n this day my beautiful flower graced our lives with her presence!� Her father�s booming voice was cut off suddenly by her mother�s equally loud screeching.

�Shut

up

, Kizashi, the whole neighborhood can hear you!�

�But Mebuki, dear, it�s our darling blossom�s day!�

More arguing came from downstairs, and Sakura had to remind herself how to breathe yet again.

Her parents

. Her

dead

parents were now alive and bantering like they always used to, and Sakura was starting to hyperventilate for the second time in as many hours.

�Stop it, you idiot! You can�t have a breakdown every time you see someone that died in our previous life.�

�

Inner?!

� Sakura exclaimed inside her head. She hadn�t heard from her at all ever since she'd started her training under Tsunade. Sakura has assumed she'd simply disappeared.

'How�?'

�Don�t know, but here I am. So stop moping and get dressed, wear your best smile and make sure no one notices you�re dying inside, 'kay? We�ve got a veritable

crapton

of fuck-ups to fix.�

�I know, but��

�No buts. Just

go

!�

So Sakura did. She put on the cute frilly dress her mother would always lay out on her desk chair the day before her birthday, until she had turned nine and decided to choose her own clothing, then brushed her teeth, and did her best to keep her cheerful childlike mask perfectly in place. She hoped she could mimic her speech and mannerisms as they'd been around the time of her actual fifth birthday, but the hope didn't run deep.

After her third self-directed pep-talk, she finally gathered the courage to walk down the stairs and meet her parents.

�Ah, baby, happy birthday!� Mebuki wrapped her arms around her daughter, warm and safe and somewhat foreign. Sakura bit her lip, holding more tears back.

What was I saying? About having shed them all already? Ha. Look at me now. Crybaby Sakura, indeed.

Her father joined them, lifting her small frame high up in the air, and Sakura, for the first time in months, laughed loudly and sincerely, until she was so out of breath her tears could pass as the products of her joy.

Breakfast was served then, with all her favorites in neat rows, and all she could think about as she watched in hidden, bubbling disbelief was:

I'll do it. I'll fix everything

.