With some effort, Jinshi cracked his eyes open and blinked sleepily. He was lying on his stomach in the same position he had fallen asleep in after having calmed down the previous evening, but still needed a few seconds to recall where he actually was. Even though he had been told that he was supposed to know that place, he just couldn't help it. It was so pitch dark that it gave him the impression as if his eyes were still closed at first, but then he gradually managed to see the contours of the room after all.

The spacious room he had been led into with the explanation that it was his personal bedchamber in his personal residence.

And deep inside him, that place somehow did feel a tiny bit familiar to him, yet he still failed to recognize even a single one of the building's corners, let alone this chamber. How odd. Could it really be his?

But since he continued to have no clue who he even was, there was no other choice left for him than to believe everything those people were telling him, since they seemed to know him so well. To have trust that they weren't deceiving him.

Jinshi ran his hand slowly over the sheets he was lying on and turned onto his side. They were smooth and a bit cool to the touch, while the bed itself was soft and comfortable. Also, a light smell of perfume wafted through the air. It was nice and not too overpowering.

However, the night itself was quite unpleasant, almost like a compact and dense black mist. Not a single ray of moonlight entered through the window, as if said mist had swallowed even the moon itself.

And not a single sound either. Only an owl was hooting quietly somewhere in the distance.

All that atmosphere felt so vast, so empty, so lifeless... as though he really was the only person left in that world he had landed in so suddenly and that was so thoroughly unfamiliar to him. Everybody behaved as if he, the one they called Jinshi, seamlessly fitted in there, giving him to understand that it was the place he belonged to. But it felt so foreign, as though he was currently living the life of someone else. As if that Jinshi wasn't him at all.

But if he wasn't that man, then who was he instead? And where did he belong?

He didn't know. He didn't know anything at all. The feeling of being lost was so intense that it made him gulp. It was like wandering through a huge forest at night on unknown paths without having the tiniest clue where they would lead him but still knowing that he couldn't leave them if he didn't want to risk falling into an abyss.

An abyss as dark and empty as that very room... and also his mind. An impenetrable darkness that was filling out his head, about to start spreading and enveloping his entire body.

Like a huge, bottomless black hole, threatening to swallow him whole, the same way it had already swallowed his memory and made him the one he was now: a man without a past or a discernible future. One who was only able to live in the here and now.

Those thoughts only intensified the constant throbbing pain in his head, but it was still bearable. Not pleasant at all, but bearable. It could be way worse, as he knew by now. The young man closed his eyes and placed one of his hands on his forehead, feeling the bandages' texture under his fingers. After a while, he then opened his eyes again.

The darkness was still there. And so was the silence. An endless loneliness.

Although it was warm in the chamber, pretty warm even, he somehow felt oddly cold. And once he fully realized that fact, it was only getting worse. His hands and feet were icy.

Jinshi blew his warm breath on his hands, rubbed his palms together, and wrapped himself tighter into his blanket. But all that was in vain. He was still shivering, and the cold remained as though not caused by the outer temperatures at all, but coming directly from inside him... as if that memory-swallowing obscurity had already managed to take possession of his limbs and was now aiming to invade his heart. The latter started to beat faster at the thought.

It was so scary... Jinshi felt as if he would never be able to find a way out, damned to wander around in that dark forever.

Never be able to completely understand who he actually was and to recognize the people around him. Like that attentive and serious middle-aged man and that nice, caring old lady. Or that frightening man with the beard.

However... there was still a ray of light amidst all that darkness... small, yet bright and strong... a light to guide him out of the forest.

"Maomao..." he muttered into the silence. It felt so good to pronounce that word.

And that light came from the taciturn, short young woman, who was currently taking care of him. She was the very first person he had seen right after having opened his eyes and woken up with that memory loss, and despite the terrible nausea and pain he had been suffering from, despite the warm blood trailing down his face and his vomiting, he still remembered the feeling of her hands supporting his head carefully, yet still firmly on her lap. As though it had been branded into his skin.

What an irony, right? To forget his entire life, but remember a mere touch as if it had just happened a few seconds ago...

His lips curved into a little smile as those thoughts managed to distract him a bit from the darkness.

She called herself an apothecary... well, a truly fitting title if one considered how much she knew about medicine and how many different herbs and other things she was carrying with herself. And her remedies were very effective, he had to admit, making him feel a lot better. What luck that she was with him.

Unfortunately, he entirely failed to remember her either, but... now that he thought about it, he realized that he had been drawn to her almost since the very beginning, the moment his gaze had fallen on her for the first time. Like a thin thread tying them together. What it exactly was, he didn't understand, but it felt as if he had known her for a lifetime even though he actually barely knew her at all. What an unusual and confusing feeling. But not unpleasant. No, on the contrary: it was so wonderful when she was with him, he felt so at ease in her presence that he found no words to describe it. He would have even trusted her with his life without a second thought.

Jinshi moved his toes a bit. They had already become a little warmer.

Maomao... what a cute name. Almost as cute as she was herself, with her delicate build and her freckles. And she was also so pretty, especially her eyes. Her beautiful blue eyes, so deep, one could almost drown in them. Every time she looked into his, he perceived an intense tingling in his stomach and his face turned hot.

But then again, she could also look pretty scary when she wanted to. It had confused and also worried him to see her like that at first, but then he had understood that her anger wasn't directed at him at all, but rather at the one who had hurt him. It had made him feel a bit guilty, he had to admit, but still... it had been such a blessing to him, a proof that she really cared.

Hah, he wanted to remember her so badly, but no matter how hard he tried, it gave him nothing but headaches. However, as long as she stayed by his side, he knew that he would be fine.

And that talk about her being his servant or something like that, he didn't really like it anyway. That was why he would just continue to see her as Maomao, the apothecary, for now, as she had introduced herself to him earlier. Maomao, his little ray of light.

Jinshi clutched his heart that had started to beat faster at that last idea, letting his thoughts about her wander even further.

And even though she might seem a bit distant and aloof at first sight, he had instinctively sensed an incredible warmth almost from the very beginning, hidden under all that coolness and that mostly neutral facial expression of hers.

A fact that had been confirmed as soon as he had fled into her arms, scared and in horrible pain, after that furious man called Majesty had hurt him by gripping his shoulders and asking him a bunch of questions he couldn't answer. The young woman had soothed him and saved him from that unbearable situation as if it were the most natural thing in the world, while he had pressed his trembling body against hers and felt as safe and protected as never before!

Aloof, as if! Her body was rather petite and thin, that much was true, seeming so delicate that one could almost become afraid of breaking her, but at the same time surprisingly soft and warm. So warm! It was such a nice, comforting and healing warmth that not a single blanket in the world would ever be able to provide, a warmth that had quickly reduced his pain, and he realized... that he needed it again... no, he needed Maomao! She was the only one able to get him out of that darkness. He was utterly lost without her!

And he missed her! He missed her terribly! It was as though she were a part of him, as though it was impossible for him to be complete without her. Why, he couldn't explain, but that was how it was.

As soon as that fact dawned on him and reminded him of her absence, the cold returned almost instantly and with full force, almost like a lethal avalanche of snow. No, his thoughts about her weren't enough... he needed the actual apothecary!

"Maomao..." Jinshi mumbled for a second time while turning onto his back and staring at the ceiling. His smile had vanished again, and he had started to shake once more. Yes, he needed her! Urgently!

He clutched the blanket with both hands and gasped for air, seeming like he suddenly couldn't breathe properly anymore. All while his eyes widened with horror, as if he were seeing that huge hole floating directly in front of him, waiting to swallow him at long last.

"Maomao..."

His mumbles had turned into desperate whimpers, and new tears were gathering in his eyes. Not to know where she was and when she would come back, provoked a truly dreadful fear in him of never seeing her again.

"Maomao... Maomao..."

What he didn't know, though, was that the one he was calling for was a lot closer than he had assumed.

***

No, Jinshi couldn't take it any longer. It was simply unbearable to just lie around as if paralyzed and either count the seconds until that way too long night would finally find its end or just give up and wait until he would drown into that huge nothingness. Despite his dread that was making his arms and legs feel as heavy as lead, he had to get up.

To get up and go look for his light.

And thus, he gathered all his strength, first, to pull himself together and normalize his breathing again the best he could and then to sit up in bed. Several attempts were necessary, because his arms were shaking too much, but he bore through it with gritted teeth and finally managed to in the end.

Then came the next step: the actual standing up. Jinshi took a deep breath and turned his head to the side...

And instantly froze again.

Right next to his bed, he discovered something on the floor. Something thin, flat and rectangular...

He blinked a few times in surprise and then squinted at it in order to see it better in the obscurity.

There was something else there, lying on that aforementioned thing. No, not something, rather someone... a short and petite figure he would have been able to identify everywhere!

"Maomao..." Jinshi gasped, feeling as if an enormous weight had fallen from his heart. He had never been alone after all! She had been right there the entire time, and he had no clue! Jinshi was so relieved, he almost started to laugh.

In spite of his slight dizziness, he bent his upper body down a bit in order to take a closer look at her. Maomao was curled up into a ball on top of what seemed to be a straw mat and sleeping, judging by the regular rising and falling of her ribcage. A few tears flowed down Jinshi's cheeks. She was with him. Everything was alright. The darkness would not devour him.

And before he could fully become aware of what he was actually doing, he had already stretched out his hand into her direction, but luckily managed to notice it just in time before he could lose his balance and fall out of the bed.

Jinshi shook his head, returning to his senses. His relief was immense, alright, but his fear and the cold persistently refused to leave him for good. He still needed Maomao's warmth.

Hence, he slowly stood out of bed on slightly unsteady legs and managed to carefully get down to his knees on the floor, next to the apothecary, trying to be as quiet as he could during the process. Once that was done, he leaned forward and finally took her by the hand, squeezing it gently and quickly starting to calm down as he felt the warmth he had been yearning for that was radiating off her palm. What a contrast to his own cool skin!

Maomao's hands were so small that he could have almost fitted both of them into one of his, but the comfort they offered him was simply beyond any comparison. He tenderly brushed his thumb over her thin fingers, careful to not wake her up, since he could only assume how exhausted she had to be after everything that had happened the previous day. She needed rest, even though he didn't like to see her sleep on the hard floor.

But despite everything, he couldn't stop the whimpers that kept escaping from his throat from time to time as if him holding her hand still wasn't enough.

And a few minutes later, the inevitable finally occurred: the apothecary started to stir, apparently reacting to the sounds he produced, and eventually rubbed her eyes with her free hand before opening them.

Then she blinked a few times, probably needing a while to remember where she was, and then sleepily turned her head, looking at her other hand that was still trapped in his.

Jinshi furrowed his brows. Oh no, he hadn't wanted to disturb her...

In the meantime, Maomao had finally realized what was going on and promptly sat up, facing him.

"Master Jinshi? What's the matter?"

Next, she got up.

Still kneeling in front of her, Jinshi let go of her hand, hesitated for a second and then wrapped his arms around her once more, around her waist this time.

"Maomao... sorry I woke you up, but... I was so scared... and I'm so cold..."

Blurting out those words, he pressed his head against her chest.

Maomao didn't say anything for some time, but judging by the shock on her face, she seemed to barely believe what she had heard just now.