"Phew. All is well. Nothing wrong with your eyes."

Letting out a deep sigh of relief, Maomao allowed her once tense shoulders to slump and stretched in order to put the burning candle in her hand on the table. A bit further away from all the other stuff sitting there, to prevent the candle from accidentally getting knocked over and cause a fire.

Bathing the spacious chamber into its slightly flickering dim light, the candle managed to make it appear at least a tiny bit brighter, casting vague shadows on the wall behind where it was standing.

"I'm glad to hear that."

Jinshi, whose hands had been resting on Maomao's shoulders once again during her examination, was smiling at her as if they were merely drinking a nice cup of tea together after a hard day of work instead of sitting on his bed next to each other in the middle of the night, where she was continuing to check on him to detect possible new symptoms of his concussion that had made him lose his memory.

The soft gaze of his beautiful, almond-shaped violet eyes was locked on the apothecary, who was currently busy counting the still remaining pain remedy pills one more time. Once she had finished that task, she turned back around to him.

Just in time to grab his wrist as soon as she realized what he was about to do.

"You mustn't scratch your wound, sir," she reprimanded him in a strict tone and pulled his arm down, away from his forehead, gripping his hand to emphasize her words. "Otherwise it might reopen and get infected."

"But it itches..." he objected, yet didn't even try to free his hand.

Maomao was having none of it.

"Still. An infection can be very dangerous, so please bear with it, alright?"

Jinshi pouted for a second (which reminded her a bit of his former self), but then smiled again and took his other hand from her shoulder in order to place his head there instead and position his forehead in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes.

"Then I'll just use your warmth as a remedy against it."

"Careful, sir. Don't apply too much pressure on your wound. And besides, warmth doesn't help against itching, cold does."

"Yours does help. It can heal everything."

"I sincerely doubt that,"

she thought with a soft snort, but didn't say that comment out loud.

Well, speaking of warmth: his hands were still quite cold as Maomao noticed, hence she started rubbing the one she was currently holding once more.

"Mmh," was everything Jinshi had to say to that as he put his other hand on the apothecary's waist. However, that one sound was enough to express how much he enjoyed it.

After a while, the young lord removed his head from her shoulder again and then gave her a look of genuine and deep affection. One she didn't see, still being concentrated on his hand.

Didn't see, but feel.

He was so much taller and stronger than her, as she couldn't help thinking at that point... and yet his behavior now rather resembled that of a young boy, instead of a grown man 's. A boy, who had gotten lost somewhere in a deep forest and was now looking for the familiar path home, however couldn't find it. The apothecary didn't know herself where that comparison came from, but that was the exact picture that had appeared before her inner eye.

In any case, there was nothing left of the gorgeous "eunuch", whose honeyed fake smile was able to melt nearly anyone's heart. Not a trace. Now, his gazes and also his smiles contained nothing but sincerity and innocence, making him seem several years younger than he was. A quite unusual sight, as she had to admit.

With that thought in mind, Maomao took his second hand from her waist to give it a rub as well.

"Just why are they so cold, anyway?" she muttered, frowning. "Do you have issues with your blood circulation... or is it still because of your panic attack yesterday? After so many hours?"

"Perhaps the cold comes from that black hole that has devoured my memories," Jinshi commented in a casual tone.

Maomao gritted her teeth. His words tied a new chain of fear and concern around her ribcage, and she perceived a desire to yell at him to stop talking such stupid nonsense. But she didn't. Of course she didn't. How could she yell at him in his unstable condition? There was no way. He had already gone through enough.

"What should I do?"

she mused, attempting to distract herself at least a bit from all those overwhelming emotions that weren't helping anyone, neither her nor Jinshi.

"Or would it be better to not do anything at all for now and just see what the morning will bring? Hm..."

Becoming once again painfully aware of her own lack of experience, she wished her father were there to guide her. However, he wasn't by her side, but at the Inner Palace at the moment, thus she had no other choice than to pull herself together and to have faith in her own abilities the best she could. Just as always. However, it proved to be quite difficult this time. More than ever, in fact.

And yet she wasn't allowed to show her insecurity under any circumstances, because the others trusted and counted on her. Gaoshun, Suiren, the Emperor... and also Jinshi himself. So she had to do everything she possibly could.

Even though she still couldn't shake off the feeling that she hadn't deserved all that trust.

In the meantime, Jinshi had placed his chin on top of her head and yawned, rubbing his eyes with his free hand.

"He's exhausted,"

she thought.

"No wonder."

Maomao stayed silent for another while and then tugged at his sleeve, before he could succumb to his fatigue and fall asleep right then and there, in his current position.

"Master Jinshi?"

"Hm?" His voice already sounded a bit sleepy, as if he were struggling to stay awake and keep his eyes open.

"I think it would be better for you to return to sleep now, after all it's still night, and you are obviously tired, not to mention that you need rest after your accident. And I will..."

The apothecary let go of Jinshi and already intended to get up from the bed, yet before she knew it, she had already been grabbed by her wrist and made to sit back down.

A soft gasp of surprise escaped her lips, and she opened her eyes wide once her gaze fell on Jinshi's expression. He looked so startled that she involuntarily gulped, wondering what the matter was. In her opinion, she really hadn't said anything that could scare him like that, or had she? Or was it again the darkness's fault, since he kept mentioning it so often?

Tears were flowing from Jinshi's eyes, and he had started trembling again. His sleepiness and tranquility from just a few minutes ago had completely vanished.

"Maomao..."

"What... What's wrong, sir? Why are you crying?"

"A-Are you planning to return to your straw mat? Please don't, Maomao! S-Stay with me, I beg of you!"

"But I..." The apothecary didn't even know how to finish her sentence. No, she wasn't planning to lie back down, but even if she was, she would still be staying in the same room, wouldn't she? So where was the problem then?

"I c-can't endure this darkness without you! The cold yes, but not the darkness! It's not enough for me to just have you in the same room, I n-need to see you and feel you close to me! Please! You are my light!"

He had seized her second wrist as well, his long, cold fingers holding her so firmly that it was impossible for her to free herself. And yet she could still tell that he was careful not to hurt her. Even now and despite everything.

"Sir..."

"He said earlier that he was scared, but I didn't think that his fear would sit so deeply that he would get like this at the mere mention of returning to bed,"

Maomao thought and furrowed her brows.

"Oh no, I don't want him to have another panic attack!"

She also wondered a bit about the meaning of his last sentence, but decided to dismiss it for now, since it wouldn't be the first weird phrase coming from him and there were more important things to care about.

She wished to still have something from the calming tea that Suiren had brewed at her request, but what little had remained from it, was already sitting for hours in the cup and had already lost most of its effect (and would also taste horribly).

"Please!" Jinshi continued to beg her desperately. "Oh, I know! I'm just going to lie down beside you on your mat!"

"Absolutely not!" There was no way she would let him sleep on the hard floor, especially in his condition.

Jinshi's pupils shrunk with shock as he heard her refusal, said in a tone that made it clear that he wouldn't be able to change her mind no matter what. "Please, Maomao..." he then started to whimper after a moment of silence, while his entire upper body was shaken by violent sobs. His whimpers were quiet, but they resounded incredibly loudly in the large chamber at night. Or at least, in Maomao's ears.

Maomao had to admit that her heart had never twitched so painfully before at the sight of someone crying. But she didn't have the time to wonder about it.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself to comfort him once more, and somehow managed to place one of her hands on his knee, stroking it lightly and hoping that his headache wouldn't get worse again. She really didn't want to give him too many painkiller pills.

"Please calm down, sir." The apothecary did her best to speak in a calm, yet still firm tone. Jinshi kept shedding tears, hence she wasn't really sure if he was even truly listening, but she still continued. "No, I'm not intending to lie down to sleep. Instead, I'm just going to continue sitting here and hold your hand while you're sleeping, just the way I did when you fell asleep last evening after drinking the tea. Would that be alright for you?"

Of course, she wouldn't be able to sleep anymore that night. Because how could she leave him out of sight, if she had no clue how his state might still change until morning? Judging by what had already happened, everything was possible. Both in a good and a bad sense of that word.

"I doubt that he'll have something against this suggestion,"

she thought.

However, to her surprise...

As soon as he heard her words, the young lord looked at her as if he couldn't believe what she had just said and shook his head so wildly that a few of his tears flew through the air.

"No!"

Maomao was confused. What exactly did he want from her then?

"No? But why not?"

He gave her a look of desperation mixed with slight exasperation.

"Why? Do you even have to ask? Because you need your sleep as well, Maomao! How could I let you sit here the entire night and just go to sleep? You must be exhausted too!" He paused for a bit. "J-Just come here and lie down with me. This bed is w-way too large for me alone, anyway!"

But then he suddenly fell silent when he saw the baffled expression on the young woman's face, blushed violently, and started to frantically wave around his hands, finally letting go of her wrists.

"Forgive me, I-I know how that sounded! But I won't do anything to you, Maomao, I swear! Please believe me! I just want to have you close to me and also to make sure that you can sleep comfortably!"

He started to cry even harder, and his body shook even more than before.

Maomao froze for a moment. She felt completely disarmed, had no clue how to deal with that situation. The only thing that occurred to her was to reach out for his face once more, carefully pull it down towards herself and then gently wipe it with her sleeve again. Or at least to try wiping it, since his tears didn't stop flowing.

Suddenly, Jinshi stretched out his own arms and hugged Maomao once more, pulling her up to his body and holding her tightly, as if he intended to never let her go again. Clinging to her as though he were drowning in an endlessly deep ocean, and she the boat that had arrived to save him.

The apothecary, who had not expected that in the slightest, found herself being pressed against his chest and almost sitting on his lap and instinctively started to squirm a bit in his embrace. Well, some old habits couldn't be entirely shed just like that in one single day...

His heart was pounding wildly directly near her ear, while she was perceiving one of his shaking hands on her back and the other on the back of her head, clumsily burying itself into her slightly tousled hair.

"I'm so... so sorry, Maomao..." he uttered between sobs. "Please don't be angry... b-but I'm really terrified... t-the mere thought of h-having... to face this dark all alone again... is too much for me..."

Being trapped in his arms and clearly feeling his shaky breaths, Maomao had meanwhile managed to compose herself again and was now hugging him back, grabbing him by the hips.

"I'm not angry, sir."

That was the truth. If it were the "usual" Jinshi squeezing her like that, she would have naturally protested and done everything in her power to free herself, but in this case... she couldn't. And surprisingly, she didn't even really want to, not minding it that much, to be honest. Because this Jinshi wasn't doing it for fun, neither to tease nor to annoy her, but because he was seriously scared and couldn't help it. That much was obvious to her, therefore it hadn't even occurred to her to get angry at all. And besides, his fear was her fault. No, all his current suffering was her fault. So how could she be so heartless as to abandon him just like that? Impossible.

And after a bit of pondering, she also had to admit that he was indeed right: a sleepless night was not a good idea, since she would hardly be able to take proper care of him while being exhausted. After all, she was only human too and didn't possess unlimited energy reserves either. Surely, she would have endured one or maybe two nights without sleep more or less fine, but what about the following ones?

She put her thin arms around his broad back the best she could.

"Shhh... calm down... breathe... just breathe..."

Jinshi obeyed, and his breaths became a bit deeper, even though he still couldn't stop sobbing. A few minutes later, he then slackened his grip a bit and got into a half-sitting, half-lying position in order to press his head against her chest once more, the same way he had already done earlier. As it looked like, he was attempting to soothe himself further by listening to her heartbeat.

The apothecary doubted that it would really help him that much, since her heart was beating pretty fast due to the entire situation as well, but she didn't stop him either. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer. Once again were his tears soaking her clothes and also dripping from his chin onto her lap.

"Master Jinshi... shhh, it's fine... I'll stay with you, just as you wish."

Well, as it seemed, she really had no other choice than to spend the rest of the night in his bed... Then so be it.

Having pronounced those words, she felt Jinshi raise his head once again and give her a kiss on the forehead. Very different from the weak one she had received the previous evening.

"Thank you! Thank you s-so much, Maomao! I'm really sorry f-for causing you so much trouble!"

Maomao widened her eyes. Had she just heard... guilt in his voice?

"Just stop apologizing already!"

she thought, a bit annoyed. "I am the one who should apologize to you! You have done nothing wrong!"

It was useless. No matter how hard she tried to suppress her own feelings of guilt for the time being and shove them into some empty corner of her mind where they wouldn't bother her in order to fully concentrate on Jinshi's treatment, she absolutely couldn't.

"There is no need to thank me. Let's just lie down to sleep now, alright?"

"Yes! '