Levi is in the town near headquarters on the rumour that traders will be bringing luxuries from Mitras. Hange told him, 11AM, the first Saturday of the month, and the contact who gets them alcohol has told them they 'll have tea, which 'I 've noticed you drink a lot of, Levi '. It 's not like them to lie, at least, not intentionally. Levi is torn between instinctive dislike of them, too loud, occasionally misjudged, persistent, and a grudging respect for a person who is so clearly wrapped up in their own head but makes genuine effort to reach out to him. From Hange, it doesn 't even feel like pity, or fear, or admiration; it 's like they view him as unsolved puzzle, and so have resolved themselves to fix him, somehow.

But today, the balance is tipping firmly from

will not kill

into

actively tolerable

; Hange has come through, and the traders are stocked with ten tins of pomegranate tea ' one of the rarest, in Levi 's experience, because the fruit is so hard to grow all the dried seeds go straight to the pantries of Interior. Levi would know: he used to steal from them. He 's stupidly happy with his purchase, almost embarrassingly so, knowing that the tea is his, that he bought it with money honestly earned, that tonight he 'll sip it in Erwin 's office while '

No. No, he won 't. He has not spoken to Erwin in a week, not once, beyond grunts in the training yard. Their lessons have stalled. Which is fine by Levi ' he never wanted them in the first place. Sitting in that office, three times a week, reading letters that flip themselves round no matter how hard he squints at them, Erwin droning on about ' politics, or some story from his youth, or even the occasional piece of gossip about people Levi does not care for. The office was always too warm, Erwin was always patronising, half the time it just made him want to ' to ' to fall asleep, with boredom.

And on those other nights, when the floor scuffs his knees, and he watches Erwin 's ugly eyebrows knit together, lips parted, his hands carded in Levi 's hair. Or the loose papers that stick to his ass when he sits on the desk and throws his legs around Erwin 's shoulders. Levi can find other ways to relieve stress. Better ways, than bedding down with the sociopath who killed his friends.

He 's careful to tuck his tea into his saddlebag, feeding his horse '

his

horse, so he really should name her, he thinks ' his apple core. He used to eat the core, would devour it. Now, he feeds it to an animal. How strange.

He picks up on the commotion some ways behind him, listening with one ear cocked as he starts to mount his horse. A shouting man, a whiny kid, a couple of bystanders, tittering. Not his business, of course. 'Typical, ' he overhears, 'the traders bring them in, like fleas. '

Levi turns, watches a man shove a kid out the door of his ' tailors, he thinks. What 's a kid hoping to steal from a tailor? If it 's money you want, you 've got to wait 'til night at least. 'And stay out, you grubby fucking rat, ' the tailor sneers, landing a kick on the kid 's ass for good measure. The brat goes sprawling in the street. The man pulls back his foot, and kicks him again, smack in the stomach. And then again, except this time he 's going for his head '

Levi doesn 't feel his feet moving, of course. He doesn 't think at all. He wraps his hand around the man 's throat and lifts. He 's has about forty pounds on him, is four inches taller than him, and has a gut. Levi barely even feels the strain, thumping into the wall of his shop.

'Are you a fair man? ' He asks him, tilting his head to the side. 'I bet you think of yourself as fair. I bet you think you 're just giving out justice. '

The man nods wildly, scratching at Levi 's hand where it grips his throat. 'I am, ' he wheezes, 'please, I have ' my children ' '

'Do you beat your children? ' Levi asks him levelly, squeezing tighter. 'If you died, and your children were left with nothing, would you like for me to beat them if they stole from me to eat? '

The man is shaking his head, eyes watering, cheeks redding into purple. 'Please, ' he says again, 'you 're a ' a soldier, please ' '

'Do we beat children now? ' He hears himself asking. 'Does that seem fair to you? Does it seem

just? '

The man is starting to slacken. Levi drops him, abruptly, lets him smack his tailbone into the stone steps of his shop. He picks at the child by the front of his shirt, drags him up. 'You, ' he says, 'are you hurt? '

The boy 's eyes are wide. He shakes his head.

'Fine. ' Levi tugs him closer, their noses almost pressing. 'That was embarrassing, ' he snarls, 'if you want to live,

get better. '

And then he drops him, too.

Fuck,

he thinks, pulling his hood over his face,

I 'm turning into the old man.

Not for the first time, he wonders where Kenny is now. Dead, most likely. Not for any particular reason; he wouldn 't be too old, but Levi can 't imagine what job he 's gotten himself into that would mean going quiet for so well for so long. He 'd always relished the title 'ripper ', like a badge of pride whenever someone brought it up, liked having his name attached to it. Fucking freak.

Course, Levi isn 't ungrateful. He 's many things but thankless. If Kenny hadn 't been the wheedling lanky lunatic he was, Levi would be dead. Or worse. There 's always worse than dead, Underground. Like when he worked for Clay ' too young to know better. If Kenny hadn 't left him, he 'd have knocked him flat for even thinking of it, but back then Levi was didn 't have anyone else, and Clay 's crew were a bandage over a wound. Even if it meant ' doing things he would not otherwise have liked to do. Levi is short, Levi is sharp. He could have gone it alone. Truthfully, he was just lonely.

He thinks about it now. There 's probably no life for him Underground, not anymore. Not that he would want there to be, but he 's aware that his situation up here isn 't exactly tenable, either. There 's a chill in the air. Soon, it will be winter. It 's almost been a year since they accepted Lobov 's job and Levi has less to show for it than when he started.

I should have just taken the prison sentence,

he thinks, not for the first time. At least prison is above ground. At least his friends would still be alive. He stroke 's his horse 's nose, mounts.

On the slow ride back, he tries to list the things he has worth having. This horse, for one. She 's gentle, and quick, and loyal. Levi had a dog once, Underground; or more like, the dog had him. Missing one eye with it 's ears and tail docked, probably an ex-fighter that got loose, or thrown away when it wasn 't worth anything in the pits. Kenny had killed it when he found out. He was right to; it had fleas, and Levi was giving it food he couldn 't really afford to waste, and the thing was suffering, anyway. But still. He 'd sobbed like a baby.

He likes the air. Underground, he 'd go through months with blocked lungs, a wheezy chest. He doesn 't know how to articulate to people what it 's like living in a place where the sun can hit your skin so he doesn 't bother. The air, the grass, the falling leaves in orange and red and purple. Levi 's seen them before, just about; some of his marks had trees in their gardens. But this is his first autumn Above. To be able to ride like this ' unfettered, in almost endless space, is a luxury no one understands.

He spurs his horse faster, enjoying the breeze whipping through his hair. Food. Food is good. It 's not nice, it 's not even of quality, but there 's plenty of it. Levi hasn 't been hungry in a year. He 's seen his cheeks fill out, his thighs thicken, putting some fat over his muscles for the first time in his life. He can 't remember ever not being able to feel his own ribs beneath his fingers. He thinks all of it ' the food, the sun ' might be increasing his mood. Happiness is an indulgence when you 're trying to survive. Maybe there 's something about the sun that makes people happier.

And then, there are the words. When Levi didn 't read, he didn 't have to worry about them. He 'd never had to read books, except for the ones Furlan would sometimes show him, as if to make him realise what he was missing. He 'd taught Isabel, and she was a more willing student than Levi by far. It had made her proud, he thinks, to read things for him. Like she was helping him, like she was useful. She always thought she wasn 't ' Levi wanted to tell her,

you don 't have to be, you 're my sister. You could be legless and stupid and I 'd still look after you, Isabel.

Goddamnit. God-fucking-damnit. If thinking about words if going to lead him here, then he won 't think about them. He doesn 't want to slip back into that hazy un-being again, the place where he became a Thing that eats and shits and fights on cue. The hard numbness he 'd felt after they 'd died, for months after they 'd died. Whatever it was inside him that kept him glued to the floor of his mother 's room, waiting to die. Whatever it is that had set upon him when Kenny left, the desolation.

So. There is something else worth having, he thinks.

Erwin helped. He doesn 't know if he meant to help, but he did. Having the words to focus on meant something to him. First, there were the lessons. Then, there was ' the other thing. Levi 's not a prude. He likes being fucked. Having someone else 's hands on him, being appreciated.

There are probably other things, too. Erwin is '

He 's interesting, if Levi 's being honest. Not just because he tells Levi things he 's never heard before, tickles some long hidden part of his brain that enjoys learning, and knowing, but because he 's ' confusing. Not quite an enigma; he wears his purpose on his sleeve, for the good of humanity and everything that includes. But Levi isn 't stupid. He doesn 't believe that there are people who exist only for the good of others, who don 't want anything of their own. Maybe it 's acclaim, or money, or a legacy, or power ' Erwin will want something. Levi just hasn 't got him figured yet. And maybe he never will, now that he 's gone and screwed up the lessons by threatening to kill him.

He had meant it, but he hadn 't meant it

urgently,

and how stupid does that sound? As if you can say to a person, 'one day I will end you ', and expect them to reply, 'well that 's okay, then, so long as it 's not this side of the new year '. He doesn 't know how to explain his instinct, it 's not scientific, it 's not even based on anything, just a prickle at the back of his neck, a pull in the gut.

Levi 's never really ' been good at people. Erwin isn 't an exception. Like the reading, it was a lost cause ' Kenny tried to show him, considered it important to survival, at least. But Levi 's always been too sullen, too quiet, too angry. Too short, too sadistic.

You have that silly whore to blame for that, Tombstone,

Kenny would mock.

Brats aren 't meant to grow up in locked rooms. Would it kill you to crack a smile?

Levi wonders what Erwin really sees in him, other than his skill. He could have anyone he wanted, tall and broad, blond hair, blue eyes, soft skin and soft hair. Clean fingernails.

He supposes he 's just convenient.

So he figures he 's a convenience Erwin isn 't quite willing to give up yet when he arrives back at headquarters at leads his horse into the stable, Erwin sitting on a barrel propped up against a stall, legs crossed and large nose stuck in a book. He stands, hastily, when Levi enters. 'You 're back, ' he says, like he was expecting it, or as if Levi had

asked

him to wait all morning with the horses.

'Are you stalking me now? ' Levi asks flatly.

'You 're always here. I wouldn 't have to stalk you to know that. '

Levi leads his horse into her pen. He decides to ignore him, brushing down her mane, releasing her tack and draping it across the stall. When Erwin realises he 's not going to say anything, he speaks:

'We shouldn 't have been doing what we were doing, ' he says, stiffly. 'I don 't know what I was thinking. '

Levi tries to figure if he feels hurt. He chooses not to take it personally. He did threaten to kill the man, in fairness. 'Fine, ' he replies, bluntly.

But Erwin doesn 't know when to shut up. 'I ' lose my sense, around you, ' he tells him, like that 's Levi 's fault. 'I do things I shouldn 't. I say things I shouldn 't. '

Levi shuts the bolt on his horse 's stall, leans back against the pillar. 'What do you want me to do about that? ' He asks, and he thinks it disarms him, slightly.

'Nothing, ' Erwin says. 'I 'm just ' telling you why. We shouldn 't do this, anymore. '

Levi scuffs his foot against the hay-covered floor. No, he 's not hurt. More irritated, than anything else. He liked the fucking, and the pillow talk. Erwin has good pillow talk. Among other things; yeah, there are

other

things he 's good at, too, although Levi spends a lot of time trying not to think about them in the daylight.

'Is this about your office? ' Levi doesn 't do obfuscation. 'Sorry, ' he says bluntly, 'I 'm not a lapdog. '

'You hate me. '

Levi doesn 't answer straight away. 'Why does it matter? ' He asks, folding his arms. 'Do you need me to like you for what we do? You can pretend, can 't you? '

'I wasn 't thinking about undying declarations of love, ' Erwin says, dryly, 'I was more concerned about your hatred and what that might mean for my life span. '

Levi resists the urge to roll his eyes. He finds this entire conversation incredibly self-indulgent and more than a little tragic. 'Erwin, ' he tells him, pitiably, 'you really don 't understand how good I am at killing. If I wanted you dead immediately, you 'd be dead. You wouldn 't even see it coming. '

Erwin has a look on his face like ' what is that, exactly? Confusion sounds too simple; there 's a lot of irritation there, too. 'Levi, what do you get out of this? '

'Of this? ' Levi gestures to the stables, deliberately misunderstanding.

'Of us. '

'

Us? '

He scoffs. It almost makes him want to laugh. 'Don 't be pathetic, Captain, it doesn 't suit you. '

'Are you afraid of me? ' Erwin asks him, directly. 'Do you think if we ' do things, together, you will win my favour? Gain a boon? '

'What the fuck is a boon? '

'An advantage. Some kind of benefit. '

Yes, actually. A warm body, strong arms, clever, thick fingers. That 's Levi 's boon. That, and the little oversights Erwin is willing to indulge; visiting his horse at night, taking tea from the officer 's lounge, training by himself instead of with eager and terrified recruits. 'Sure, ' Levi admits, easily, 'but I figured it was a mutual benefit, no? '

'Can it be mutual? ' Erwin asks him, seriously. His ugly thick brows are all tangled on his head, brow creased with genuine concern. 'In our circumstances, I mean. Even if you weren 't ' here, for the reason you are. I 'm your superior officer. If anyone were to find out ' '

'Mike suspects, ' Levi interrupts.

'I know he suspects, ' Erwin snaps. 'I 'm not talking about Mike. Shadis. Worse than Shadis ' these kinds of affairs don 't stay secret for long, they go all the way to the top. It would ruin me. It would make a laughing-stock out of you. '

'I 'm a whoreson, Erwin. I don 't often care what people think of me. ' A beat; he frowns at himself. 'Not that I 'm particularly invested in what we were doing, obviously. '

'Obviously, ' Erwin agrees, like he 's pretending to take Levi at face value. He 's probably thinking about all the times Levi 's come with his thighs trembling around his head. Erwin doesn 't know it, but his eyes go a little lazy when he 's thinking about sex. Levi has noticed.

'What are you reading? ' Levi knows he 's interrupting Erwin 's thoughts.

Erwin frowns, looks down in the book in his hand with vague embarrassment. 'It 's nothing. It 's ' fiction, actually. Sometimes I like to ' pretend, I suppose. ' He runs his fingers along the spine.

Levi holds out his hand, despite himself. If Erwin is surprised, he doesn 't show it, wordlessly passing the book to him.

He squints his eyes at the title.

A Life Beyond.

He wrinkles his nose. 'A life beyond what? ' He asks, irritated.

Erwin is smiling, slightly. 'It 's metaphorical, ' he says, gently. 'It 's about life beyond the walls, but also about death. '

'Ah, ' Levi sighs, like he knows what that means, 'that 's probably how it got past the censors, huh? If it 's about how leaving the walls means dying, I mean. '

'Probably, ' Erwin agrees, like he 's pleased with Levi 's insight.

'I like the lessons, ' Levi says, then. He passes the book back to Erwin, watches him place it gently on his barrel. 'I want to read. '

'I see, ' Erwin says, quietly.

'We don 't have to fuck, ' Levi tells him, bluntly. 'I just want to learn. And you 're ' ' his next words are said from behind gritted teeth, ' ' a good teacher. '

Erwin raises his brows. 'Am I? ' He asks.

'Sure. Trust me ' I 've had bad ones. ' He can see Kenny laughing at him, covered in filth, because he didn 't make the jump from one roof to the next. He 'd hit the ground so hard and so fast. He 'd only been with Kenny a week at most; he wasn 't strong enough to pull himself up onto the ledge. 'You 're patient. And I know I 'm not the most ' ' he 's not stupid, he knows. But he doesn 't find letters easy. 'Willing, student. '

'Thank you, Levi, ' Erwin says softly, 'that 's a very kind thing to say. '

'Ugh. ' Levi rolls his eyes, folds his arms. He hates when Erwin talks to him that way, like he 's a child who 's done something well.

'You understand, though, ' Erwin is saying, carefully. 'I don 't think properly around you. I find you very ' distracting, Levi. '

Levi nearly flinches. Oh. He had thought ' Erwin would be scared of him, maybe, or was just worried about repercussions. He 's surprised to find it actually

does

hurt to be told he 's a distraction, an irritating interference in Erwin 's everyday life. 'I see, ' Levi mutters, stiffly. He grips his forearms with nails.

'When you 're with me, ' Erwin continues, sounding puzzled, 'I don 't ' act the way I should. I tell you things I shouldn 't. Like ' like dinosaurs, ' he says. 'I should know better by now, how dangerous, how stupid it is, to spread that kind of information. It puts me at risk, but ' it puts you at risk, too. And you 're already on thin ice, I know. '

Levi frowns. 'I don 't follow, ' he says, honestly.

'You 're too ' ' Erwin sounds frustrated with himself, because he 's using his hands to gesticulate, mussing his carefully parted hair, 'you 're like a ' you draw me, to you. I know this is wrong, because you hate me, and because you 're my subordinate, and even without those things, I 'm a soldier, who can 't ' who shouldn 't ' '

Levi stares at him, blankly.

' ' form attachments, ' Erwin finishes, lamely. 'Especially when they aren 't reciprocated. It 's trouble for everyone. You especially. '

Ah. That 's better, then. Than being a distraction. Levi almost wants to laugh. 'Don 't lie, ' he says, carelessly.

'I 'm not lying, ' Erwin tells him, irritated.

'Erwin, ' Levi drawls, 'you 're selfish. If you want me badly enough, you 'll have me. Fuck what that means for me. '

Erwin fixes his jaw. Levi likes this look in his eyes more than the others ' this shrewdness, intensity, maybe even anger, like he 's been caught out. 'Yes, ' Erwin agrees. 'I 'm trying to do you a favour. '

Levi sighs, pushing off his post. He moves, almost in one fluid motion, to tip himself against Erwin 's stall; one hand braced on the wood beneath his back. He 's not crowding him, not really ' a man his size could never crowd a man shaped like Erwin, who has pressed his hands behind hips, like if he pins them there, he can stop them from grabbing Levi of their own volition.

'I really don 't need you to do me favours, ' Levi tells him, intently. This close, he has to lift his chin to meet his eyes, look up at him. 'I can take care of myself. '

'I don 't doubt it, ' Erwin says, calmly. A little too calm, in Levi 's opinion. Too forced.

Levi presses closer. His chest rests against Erwin 's lower ribs. 'Well? ' Levi asks him, pointedly.

Erwin swallows. 'Well what? ' Levi can smell his cologne ' rose-scented, irritating, and his hair pomade. He likes the pomade. It 's Erwin 's smell, in his mind; as thick and waxy and firm as the man himself.

'Are you going to be selfish? ' Levi enquires. He presses his palm between Erwin 's legs, and nothing more. His shoulders ripple, inhaling sharply through his nose. He 's already half-way there, has probably been hardening as Levi talked, thinking about all the ways he likes to use his body. 'Poor Erwin, ' Levi mocks, saccharine, 'pretending to have morals, worrying about his ' ' he searches for the word, ' '

dainty

little subordinate. '

Levi squeezes, and Erwin knocks his head back against the wood. 'It 's not like that, ' he lies, through his teeth.

'It must be so hard for you, ' he taunts, 'having me right here, and just being so honourable, so

noble,

that you can 't touch me back. '

'You threatened to kill me, ' Erwin hisses, but his hips are jerking forward.

'Don 't lie, ' Levi teases, 'that just makes it all the dirtier, doesn 't it? ' He unhooks the button of Erwin 's uniform pants with his thumb, deftly, slips his hand beneath the fabric. He 's hot, and twitching under his bare palm.

Erwin curls his fingers in his own hair, twists. 'I don 't understand what you want, ' he breathes, rolling himself against Levi 's hand.

Levi pulls back. He spits in his palm, and pushes back in, gripping Erwin at his base. He 's so large, and Levi 's fingers so thin. 'Let me prove how mutual this is, ' he tells him, slowly, surely, working his cock. Erwin curses under his breath. He braces his free hand against the stable door, sends it rattling.

'They 'll ' someone will ' ' he 's half-protesting, but he 's fucking himself forward, his cheeks flushing, lashes lowered.

Goddamn,

Levi thinks,

he 's perfect.

Erwin is spreading his thighs, squatting slightly, to better thrust against Levi 's hand. 'Find us, ' he chatters out, and then has to bite his lip, like he can no longer trust his mouth to make the right noises.

'Feel free to leave, ' Levi tells him, slightly breathless. He wants to tear Erwin 's shirt off his back. He wants to press his lips to one of those pink, perfect nipples. He wants to drop to his knees and take him down his throat, have him push Levi over the barrel and take him like that, like it means nothing. He wants someone to find their perfect Captain, cheeks red and rutting against Levi like an animal, tearing at his own hair, one fist stuffed in his mouth.

The perfect Captain comes into Levi 's hand. He does

him

a favour; he catches most of it, doesn 't leave him to soak his pants like a teenager. He wipes down his palm in a hay bale, scrapes sticky straws of hay off his palm on the stable door. 'I 've never seen a guy come so much, you know that? ' Levi tells him, irritated.

Erwin doesn 't reply, head tipped back against the post and trembling, slightly, trying to gather his thoughts. 'Yeah, ' he says, stupidly, eventually. 'Sorry about that. '

Levi brushes down the rest on the hem of his cloak. He tries not to feel smug.

Erwin tucks himself back in his pants, fingers all fumbling, uncoordinated. 'You hard? ' He asks, distracted.

So romantic,

Levi thinks. 'Yeah, ' he admits.

'C 'mon then, ' Erwin tells him, his words slightly mashed together. He grips Levi 's shirt and pulls him out into the sunshine, round the back of the stables, facing the empty paddock, and then the forest. His fears were unfounded ' they are, predictably, the only people spending their Saturday morning with horses. It 's almost a reward, the novelty of it, Erwin on his knees, pressing Levi up against the stable wall. The logistics don 't quite work ' Erwin has to hunch, Levi leaning up on his toes, but when he comes it 's satisfying, satiating. His hand alone in the showers, thinking about Erwin 's thighs, isn 't quite the same.

After finishing, Levi watches Erwin roll his tongue around his mouth, like he 's picking his teeth. He brushes his thumb neatly against the corner of his mouth to wipe away any errant strands of Levi on his skin. 'Am I clear? ' He asks.

Levi nods, still slightly breathless. 'Me? ' He asks.

'Neat as ever, ' Erwin tells him.

'Fine. Good. ' Levi 's knees are weak, anyway; it 's easy to let himself sink down onto the grass, rest his head on his shoulder. 'Thanks. For getting me back. '

Erwin nods, dumbly. He looks stupid, sitting with his legs folded beneath him, all long limbs clumsily assembled. He 's reaching into his pockets for his cigarettes and matches.

Levi groans, irritated. 'No, ' he orders. He plucks Erwin 's cigarette from between his fingers, throws it on the ground, and grinds it beneath his heel. 'It 's disgusting. '

Erwin gapes at him. 'You 're insufferable, ' he says, like he 's only just realising.

'It makes me cough, ' Levi tells him. 'I don 't give a shit what you do in your own time but if you 're going to come inside me, you keep that shit away from me, you hear? '

'Is a man not allowed simple pleasures? ' Erwin protests.

'You 're a damn addict, ' Levi snaps. 'Cigarettes, that shitty scotch Hange keeps buying. '

Me,

he almost adds, and doesn 't. 'It 's not attractive, ' he says, stoutly.

'Isn 't it? ' Erwin raises one eyebrow. 'Ah. I see. Maybe I can curb myself, just a little. '

Levi feels his lips twitch. For the first time in a long time, he has to actively repress a smile ' not a big smile, just a curve of the mouth, but Erwin will consider it a win and he doesn 't want that.

'I actually didn 't come here to for sex, ' Erwin says, and something about the way he says is so plainly sends a shiver down Levi 's spine.

'No? ' Levi asks, lazily, letting one of his knees fall open. 'You mean you didn 't stake out the stable for three hours on the off-chance I give you an angry handjob? '

Erwin is smiling. 'You really are very funny, Levi. '

He 's not. He 's sarcastic, and cruel, but if Erwin wants to find that funny that 's his choice. 'So why did you come here, then? '

Erwin looks out across the field. His hair is lifted, slightly, by the light breeze. His pressed white sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, the only concession to an otherwise perfect uniform. 'I wanted to ' ask your permission for something, ' he says, then sighs. 'No, actually. I 'm lying to you. I wasn 't planning on asking for permission, more the courtesy of letting you know. '

Levi doesn 't say anything, but he is listening, eyes hooded, head tipped back against the wall.

'I want to use your intel on Morely, ' Erwin says, calmly, clearly. Like this, when he 's plotting, and scheming, the slightly nervy, fumbling man is dead. 'I plan to blackmail him, ' he continues, like that 's an easy thing, 'and in doing so, ensure that our funding remains untouched. '

Levi shuts his eyes. It 's not just Erwin who lets his lips get loose around Levi, tells him things he shouldn 't; Levi should

never

have told Erwin about the night jobs, or Furlan.

'Mmm, ' Levi says, quietly. 'But you 're not asking for permission. '

'No, ' Erwin says, regretfully.

Levi exhales through his nose. 'I ' ' he starts, then stops, reassesses. 'I like living here, Erwin. Above the ground. I like that I can buy things with real money. And that I don 't have to always be looking over my shoulder. ' He opens his eyes. 'People aren 't as stupid as you give them credit for. Eventually, people will want to know where you 're getting your information. There 's a good chance someone puts two and two together, remembers that there was thug who used to work their parties, and that Captain Erwin has recently taken one into the Survey Corps. '

'Indeed, ' Erwin agrees, 'that is a risk. A gamble, even. '

'It 's my life you 're gambling, ' Levi tells him, lightly.

'I send you out past the walls and trust that you 'll survive. This ' isn 't so different, ' Erwin says, carefully.

'No, ' Levi agrees, 'I suppose it isn 't. ' He pauses, collects his thoughts. 'So all that talk back there ' what was it? Guilt? '

'I suppose ' I suppose there 's a part of me ' '

Erwin trails off.

'A part of you? ' Levi presses. 'Go on. Follow the thought through, coward. '

'There 's a part of me that doesn 't want to be selfish, when you 're involved, ' Erwin says, softly. 'You 're right. Maybe it 's guilt. I feel like I 've taken a lot from you already, Levi. It bothers me that I know I 'll continue to take, that I 'll have to ask things of you which ' I wouldn 't ask someone else, in your position. '

'My position? ' Levi asks, confused.

'Relative to me, ' Erwin explains, which explains nothing.

'Yeah, ' Levi says, uncertainly. 'Well, you 're not asking for permission, but ' ' he sighs, waves a hand. 'Do it, however it is you do it. I hate them all, ' he tells him, with a sickening glee in his chest, 'no skin off my back if someone decides to finally do something about it. '

Erwin is smiling now, really smiling. 'Here 's a thing, ' he says, and he sounds like he 's about to launch into a lesson, 'you 're the only other person who 's ever said that to my face. Honestly, I mean. '

'That I hate rich people? ' It 's a fairly common sentiment where Levi comes from.

'Not just 'rich ' people, Levi. ' Erwin leans in, conspiratorial. 'All of them. The Interior. Parliament. ' He lowers his voice. 'The King. '

'I despise them, ' Levi agrees, and he doesn 't even need to explain why.

'You know, we have more in common than we have in difference, ' Erwin tells him.

Levi almost laughs. 'You have a weird sense of humor, ' he snorts. 'Knew a guy like you. Used to laugh at his own jokes too much. '

'It 's not a joke. It 's the truth. There are the people who run our world, and the rest of us. It doesn 't matter where we come from. '

'Like the people who killed your father, ' Levi suggests.

Erwin lifts his chin. 'What about it? ' He asks defiantly, and Levi is ' well, the truth is, Levi is almost relieved. Erwin isn 't a god. He 's not so calculating, cold and committed, that he 's working only for the betterment of humanity. No, because that would be unnatural. Erwin is

human.

Someone killed his father and so he will kill them. Kill them all, if that 's what it takes, to end the regime that caused it.

'Ah, ' Levi says lightly. 'I see. That 's nice, actually. It 's ordinary. You want revenge. '

'Not revenge. ' Erwin 's eyes are alight. 'I want to peel them from existence, every single person who was complicit in it. Not dad 's death ' the ugly, stupid cause of it. A singular lack of imagination. They killed him for thinking, Levi, for daring to

question.

How do we move forward if we can 't even talk about our past? '

'Sounds like someone does want us moving forward, ' Levi says, casually.

'

Exactly, '

Erwin presses. 'But you and I ' we have this together, you understand that, don 't you? '

'I suppose, ' Levi mutters, unconvinced.

'Levi, ' Erwin barks, sharply. 'What do you want more than anything in this world? '

Here we go again,

Levi thinks, tiredly. 'I don 't know, ' he sighs, 'a gold-plated urinal, maybe. '

'Levi, ' Erwin says again.

He brushes his hand over his face. What is this in Erwin, this constant ' pushing, and prodding. It 's not unfamiliar, Levi realises. It 's the way Kenny would talk to him.

What do you do?

He 'd ask him, sizing up a mark.

How you gonna fix this?

Levi had hated it then, he hates it now. Maybe it 's the unique mix of being talked down to and asked a question he doesn 't know the answer to. It stresses him out. 'You would make a good serial killer, you know that? No reason, you just remind me of one I knew. '

'Be serious. '

Levi shuts his eyes and wonders why he 's putting up with this. Maybe Erwin 's right. They shouldn 't be doing this. Levi should just kill him, right? It would fix at least six of his seven problems. 'I told you already, ' he says, keeping his voice flat. 'I don 't have any dreams. Not anymore. '

'I 'm not asking for your dreams. I 'm asking what you want. '

'What I want, ' Levi starts, sourly. 'That 's never bothered you before, why start now? ' He tears errantly at some grass, lets it scatter out of his fingers. 'I 'll tell you what I want, ' he says, sharply, 'I want to make it so ' so kids don 't go hungry. There, ' Levi finishes, shortly. 'That 's what I want. '

Perhaps Erwin did not expect this. 'What? ' He asks, caught off-guard.

'Are you deaf? That 's what I want. If I have to pick something, I mean, that 's what I 'd pick. '

'I see. ' Levi is certain he 's caught Erwin off-guard ' he probably wanted to hear,

a roof over my head, power, money, food, land,

or, if he has a slightly higher opinion of Levi than he 's let on,

freedom, justice, the world beyond the walls, truth.

Levi does not care for it, he doesn 't even really have time for it, all those lofty ideals. He can only control his own two hands. He can only fix what he can see. He 'd like to see children with three meals a day, running in the sun, faces bruise-free and happy.

Not personally, obviously. He doesn 't

like

children. He just thinks it would be '

Better.

'Is that because ' ' Erwin starts.

'Don 't, ' Levi shuts him down.

'But it 's not a dream, ' Erwin continues.

'No. Dreams are for ' ' for what, children? 'Not for me, ' he says.

'Well, ' Erwin tells him, 'I have a dream. '

And he tells him. He paints a picture in Levi 's head, of a world without walls, a world with universities, and free press, and a thing called democracy, where people vote for their king. He talks about ' doctors that care for everyone, schools for every child, food shared adequately before the Interior hoards it. He talks and talks, until the sun slips into late afternoon, and a chill sets in the air.

Levi thinks about the boy in the town square.

Merchants bring them in like fleas,

a woman had said. Levi remembers the slit of light in the closet he hid in, his mother 's sobs, the dirty room where they lived. The punches from a gang he wronged, Kenny 's laughs, mouldy bread.

It 's a nice dream, he decides.