Tonight, Erwin is signing the death notes. He has put it off long enough ' it 's been three days since they went behind the wall. Eleven dead. This is a job for Shadis, but he no longer has the stomach for it. He 's been in his cups since they returned.

'Levi, ' Erwin had asked, approaching the man after his solitary, lonely training. 'My office tonight, please. '

He 'd risen his brows. 'For what? ' He asked, with that loping insubordination. It 's a fair question, of course.

'Lessons, ' Erwin had told him. And now, he watches him. He has his tongue pressed between his teeth, the tip just sticking out from his lips. The way he copies the letters is painstaking, laboriously slow ' Erwin wants to tell him, it doesn 't matter if it 's neat, it just matters that you understand them. But he thinks Levi is something of a perfectionist.

He sips his scotch, idly. He and Levi have that in common, he supposes.

Levi is so highly strung, wound tight like a wire. What does it take to unwind him? Erwin thinks: in bed, he 's quiet, methodical and satisfying, like even sex is a task that needs to be approached with neat, clean accuracy. So far as Erwin has learnt, he doesn 't have any particular proclivities ' he 'll take it rough, soft, uncaring, on his back, on his knees. He always comes silently. He always cleans himself after, immediately. Erwin realises that Levi preoccupies his thoughts more than he should. The feel of him, the smell of him, his taste. He wonders if he occupies such a space in Levi 's mind.

'What 's a ' wa-hale? ' Levi asks him.

Erwin swills his drink in his mouth, swallows. Puts his glass back down onto the desk. 'A whale, ' he corrects. 'The 'h ' is silent. '

'Why? '

He smiles. 'W-hy, ' he illustrates. 'You just said it yourself. It adds plosive. '

Levi glares at him. 'Great, ' he mutters, 'now I need to ask what the fuck plosive means. '

'It 's like ' I don 't know how to describe it, really, ' Erwin frowns. 'It 's the ' feel of word. The heaviness of it. '

Levi sighs. 'So words have weight now, ' he says, tiredly. 'Amazing. '

'Sorry, ' Erwin smiles, ruefully. 'It 's strange, teaching you this. It makes me remember how much about how things are we just take for granted. '

'So? ' Levi says, as if prompting him.

'So what? '

'What 's a whale? '

'Oh. ' Erwin frowns. 'Read it in the sentence. '

Levi sits ups a little straighter. The only lines on his face come from between his brows when they knit together in concentration. ' 'I will kill it, ' Levi reads slowly, haltingly. ' 'a wa ' whale, bigger than a titan. I will sleep inside it 's moth -- ' no, mouth, ' he corrects, ' 'and list it 's belly from the inside out. '

'List? ' Erwin queries.

Levi frowns at the page. 'Tch, ' he corrects, 'slit. '

Erwin feels his lips twitching. 'It 's a mistake, ' he says, with careful wonderment. Another one ' how many is that now? Erwin remembers his father 's neat writing, all the books and their titles, the page number of their mistakes noted in the margins.

P.49; Mentions 'cocoa ' ' form of sugar?? Treat? Dessert??? P.216; Coffee? A different kind of tea?

'What kind of mistake? ' Levi asks.

Erwin laughs, softly. 'There are very few books from before the walls went up. There are some ' unedited, unchanged, but to own one is treason, you understand. And there are very few in existence. But what books do remain ' or I should say, the stories that remain, sometimes hold little mistakes. Like this, ' Erwin says, picking up the book and reading the spine. '

The Wonderful Adventures of Marco Markus, '

he smiles. 'It 's a fairy-tale, for children. Whoever was in charge of removing humanity 's stories might have thought it was above notice. And so, the mistake was allowed to remain. '

'You have lots of books. ' It sounds like an accusation. 'Do you collect them? '

A beat. Erwin is conscious of the need to be careful, very careful. 'Yes, ' he says, 'I do. '

And Levi fixes him a knowing stare. 'So, ' he says, pointedly. 'What 's a whale? '

Erwin picks at his glass and sips. He brushes off his lips with his thumb, and folds his hands in front of him. 'I don 't know, ' he lies.

'Your father never mentioned it between his ' what did you call them? Seditious lessons? '

'My father never told me anything of the sort, ' Erwin tells him, blandly.

'Except about mistakes, ' Levi returns. 'You must care about the mistakes, Captain, otherwise you wouldn 't have shelves of books for children. '

'Maybe I 'm just sentimental, ' Erwin tries.

'You 're not sentimental, ' Levi says, flatly. 'You 're the least sentimental person I 've ever met. If there are only a handful of unedited books left in existence, why do you know they exist? '

Erwin shrugs. 'I 've heard stories of other people who faced punishment for owning one. '

'So where do you hide yours? ' Levi asks.

Erwin scoffs. 'Even if I had a book like that in my possession ' it would be stupidity in the extreme to keep it in my office, as a Captain in the Survey Corps. We 're already suspected of being heretics. '

'It would be stupid, ' Levi agrees, 'it would be incredibly risky. As risky as ' say, facing a titan in combat on the off-chance you get two-foot further into uncharted territory than the last time you went beyond the wall. '

Well, what should Erwin say to that? He likes Levi. Truly, he does ' aside from the things they do in bed, the intimate details of his body that only Erwin is privy to, he has come to view him as a friend. Or maybe that 's too ' not a friend. Associate is too clinical, lover sounds too personal, partner too enduring. Confidante? Comrade? Companion?

But he 's teaching Levi to read, isn 't he. He doesn 't have to. If all he wants from the man is his skill, he could have kept him illiterate ' the less he knows, the less threat he would be to Erwin. He 's still hiding knives beneath Erwin 's bed, thinking Erwin doesn 't notice, and he hasn 't forgotten Mike 's advice:

Kid 's not going to forgive you, not ever. Doesn 't matter if he 's complacent now ' as far as he 's concerned, you killed his friends, Erwin. He 'll never forget. You shouldn 't, either.

I must trust him

, he thinks. Otherwise he wouldn 't teach him; he wouldn 't allow him in his office, in his bed, knowing he could kill him; he wouldn 't let him practise his writing from a book Erwin knows holds a chance ' a small chance ' of revealing a mistake that could get Erwin hanged.

There is no word for what Levi is, to him. What do you call an equal other than an equal?

A counterpart,

Erwin thinks.

Erwin stands. Levi watches him trailing his fingers along the wall of books until he finds what he 's looking for. He had hidden it, of course. His mother wanted to burn it, along with everything else that Erwin smuggled out the day he left home. He 'd replaced its cover with another:

The Trees Within the Walls.

He lays it on the table and thumbs to the right page. 'A whale, ' Erwin points. He flips the book so Levi can see. 'It 's a fish of some kind. It lives ' well, ' he half-laughs, 'it lives in the ocean. '

Levi stares at the pages. 'The ocean? '

'A huge lake, ' Erwin tells him, 'that covers all the world. The world is round, ' he says, 'like a circle. No ' a sphere. And the ocean covers most of it with salty water, undrinkable. '

A line of irritation has appeared between Levi 's brows. 'Ach, Erwin, ' he mutters, 'I thought you were being serious, ' he says, and sounds disappointed.

'I am being serious. '

Levi stares at him, flatly. 'We live on a ball, ' he says, flatly, 'covered in water. What 's the point of that? '

'Why does their have to be a point? The moon 's a sphere, isn 't it? '

'It 's a disc. '

'That rotates, ' Erwin explains, patiently. 'We know it 's a sphere. '

'But that 's impossible. We must be on the top of it, then. ' Levi frowns. 'Maybe that 's where everyone else went. They just fell off the bottom. '

'No, ' Erwin corrects, delicately, aware Levi is prickly when he thinks he 's made a mistake, 'because gravity. Think about it: everything travels down, no? We 're all glued to the earth. That is ' if there are other people, outside the walls. ' He taps his finger against the drawing on the page of a gargantuan fish with a ruddered belly. 'A whale, ' he says.

Levi traces the paper. 'It feels ' ' he frowns, 'it feels too real to be made up. No one could just invent this, could they? '

Erwin shrugs a shoulder. 'I don 't think so. '

'Ocean, ' Levi repeats, as if trying the word on for size. 'I don 't understand how all that water can just ' exist. Why doesn 't it ever overflow? '

'Canyons beneath the seabed, ' Erwin answers, confidently. 'We live above the sea-level. '

Levi huffs, disbelievingly. 'Is now a good time to admit I don 't know how to swim? '

Erwin laughs. 'Mike will teach you. Grew up by a lake, best swimmer I 've ever seen. '

Levi glowers at him. 'You realise he 'd try to drown me, right? ' He carefully flips through the book, delicately turning the pages between his index finger and thumb. Erwin doesn 't know if he can read the words fluently yet, but he seems to be enjoying the pictures. 'I could report you, ' he says, quietly.

'You could, ' Erwin agrees. 'You wouldn 't even have to kill me, now. One word to an MP is all it would take. ' He tips his head to the side, 'You could have whatever you wanted, ' he tells him mildly. 'I have too many enemies. A house in Mitras, money, your freedom. Real freedom, ' Erwin presses him, 'because I would be gone, wouldn 't I? '

Levi looks tired. For a moment, Erwin stiffens ' he wonders if perhaps he has miscalculated, gravely. Levi 's silence stretches on, and on.

'There is no real freedom, ' he murmurs, eventually. 'Not in these walls. Maybe not anywhere. ' He looks up at Erwin, direct, combative. 'Tell me more, ' he demands.

Erwin tells him about turtles and lions and dinosaurs. 'They found their bones? ' Levi asks, 'And bigger than titans? '

'I don 't think titans existed then. But yes, bigger than titans, even. '

Levi 's eyes widen, just slightly. Almost like surprise, if Erwin believed he could be surprised. 'Impossible, ' he says, but doesn 't sound sure. 'There 's no damn good reason for anything to be that big. Big ass birds, and ' what was it? '

'Lizards. '

'Lizards, ' Levi tries the word and it sits funny in his mouth, Erwin can tell. 'You 're making fun of me, ' Levi accuses, but Erwin just shakes his head fondly.

'I didn 't write the book, Levi, ' he says. 'Could be, someone somewhere is making a joke at all our expense, but ' '

There 's a knock at the door, but the person doesn 't wait for Erwin to usher them in, which means it can only be one person. Mike is holding a stack of letters atop a parcel. 'These just came, ' he announces, unwary and uncaring of what he just interrupted. 'I 'd salute, but ' ' He frowns, noticing the back of Levi 's head. 'What 's he doing here? '

Erwin shuts the book, carefully, as so not to draw attention to it. Mike knows so many of his secrets, but Erwin has never burdened him with this one.

'Just discussing the best ways to put down a dog, ' Levi says casually with a baleful glare in Erwin 's direction.

'Leave them with me, ' Erwin answers instead, nodding at him gratefully.

Mike is squinting at them, suspicious. 'What are you doing? ' He asks, frowning at them. He stands at Levi 's back. Erwin sees him sniff, once, surreptitious, and Levi 's resulting tension, the pressed lips, squared shoulders.

'I, ' Erwin starts to lie, 'was just ' ' what? What could he possibly say that would justify having Levi sitting at his desk. 'Going over ' '

Mike leans down and sniffs, long and suspicious, at the top of Levi 's head. He narrows his eyes. Squints at Levi, then at Erwin, then at Levi again. 'Why ' ' he starts.

'He 's teaching me to read, ' Levi says, bluntly.

Mike blinks. He straightens. 'Oh, ' he says. 'Okay. He 's a good teacher. Taught me. '

Erwin smiles at the memory of it, spending the weekend mornings in the classroom. Mike had resented him, then, but he wouldn 't have passed if Erwin hadn 't forced it.

'If you had paid more attention, you might have come first, ' Erwin reminds him. He 'd come third in the end, just behind Erwin and Nile.

'Oh, I definitely would have come first, ' Mike snorts, scattering the parcel and letters on the desk. He blows air aimlessly upwards to brush his hair out of his eyes. 'Good luck with that, Levi, ' he says, only a touch snidely, before he leaves.

Erwin raises his brows. 'I thought you didn 't want them to know, ' he says with disbelief.

'Do you know how weird it is that you have a friend who can smell when people are fucking? ' Levi asks him, irate. He helps himself to Erwin 's letters, squints at the envelopes. 'Your mother has written, ' he says, throwing the large parcel in Erwin 's direction.

He frowns at it. Why would his mother need to send him such a hefty package? He works the twine free with his thumb and tears at the brown wrapping. There 's a letter inside. And behind that '

'Oh, ' Erwin says, quietly. His father 's notebook. Mother hadn 't let him take it ' why would she, he was her husband. He scans the letter, frowning. 'I see, ' he murmurs.

'Something wrong? ' Levi asks.

Erwin swallows, folds the letter neatly, and places it in a drawer in his desk. 'No, ' he lies, 'nothing wrong. She wants me to visit, of course. ' He carefully peels open the pages with what he 's aware is near-reverence. 'I don 't have any siblings, ' he says, like that 's an explanation of something, like that 's an answer to a question Levi asked. 'My father was ' he 'd document things, you see. Things he noticed in the world around him. '

'He sounds very, ' Levi seems to be looking for a word. 'Like you, ' he settles for.

'Yes, ' Erwin agrees, murmuring. He sifts through the pages. There 's a portrait hidden between them, nestled between the lines of his father 's looped scrawl. Erwin remembers posing for when it was drawn. He does look like his father now, he thinks, but admittedly he has more of his mother about him, too. He has her hair, her eyes, her mouth. And she 's younger here, without a blankness to her eyes.

'Can I see? ' Levi asks.

Erwin presses his lips into a line, flips the portrait between his two fingers. He watches Levi 's face shift from sullen to ' wait, what is that? Does he think this is

funny?

'What 's the matter? ' Erwin demands, because Levi 's clearly chewing on his lips to stop himself from smiling. He always knew the no-smiling thing was an act. He frowns. 'I don 't get it. '

'Erwin, ' Levi says, trying to keep his voice level, 'did you, uh. Did you always just have a man 's face, or is that a bad drawing? '

'A man 's ' ' Erwin splutters, 'I have big features! It 's not ' ' he huffs, folds his arms, ' ' it 's not a

man 's

face, it 's cute. '

'Tch, ' Levi says sympathetically, 'is that what your mother told you? '

Erwin snatches back the portrait. 'Like you can talk, ' he mutters.

'Something you want to say louder, Erwin? '

Erwin doesn 't, because if he does, he 'll say something he regrets. He balances his chin on his hand and glares.

'You look like your father, ' Levi offers.

'Thanks. '

'You know, ' Levi says, carefully, turning back to his writing, 'if I had a mother, I would visit her. '

'Well you don 't, ' Erwin replies, ugly and flat. Levi puts down his pen. He glares at him.

'You have a mean streak Erwin. '

Erwin folds his arm. 'Sorry, ' he mutters, 'I didn 't mean to ' it 's just, I don 't want to go home. '

'Yeah, it must be shitty, ' Levi mutters, 'having people who care about you. '

And the thing is, Levi is right. He 's completely right. Perhaps no one else would say this to Erwin 's face, but it is pathetic ' he 's his mother 's only child, and he hasn 't visited her in years. How long can he run from the shame? Mother doesn 't care; she only wants to see him before ' before anything else. Levi is right. Levi seems to see things more clearly than any other person Erwin has ever met. If Erwin was a better man, he would take two-weeks leave and go

home.

He 'd never have to live with regret if he did.

But Erwin is not a better man.

'Don 't be self-pitying Levi, ' he sighs, 'it doesn 't suit you. '

'Cunt, ' Levi breathes.

Erwin raps the paper in front of Levi with his fingers. 'Spell it, and I 'll let you out early, ' he tells him.

He lets Levi puzzle that one and rips through letters with his thumb. Taxes, the insurance for the house in Stohess he never uses, an invitation to tea with Lady Meyer (fifty, red hair, widowed, he reminds himself), and a letter from Sir Morley. He decides not to think about his mother; he files her letter away in his desk drawer, partitions thoughts of home in his mind. A problem for another day, he thinks. He can 't be concerning himself with personal issues when he has so much work on his plate, anyway.

'Well I 'm not going to get it, ' Levi is saying, 'so you might as well tell me. Is it cunt with a 'c ' or a 'k '? '

Erwin is staring at his letter with dismay, scanning through its lines. 'Goddamn, ' he says, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

You 're going to get dents there if you keep doing that,

his mother used to tell him.

'Good news? ' Levi asks dryly.

'Morley, ' Erwin mutters, reaching for his paper to draft an urgent reply. 'He 's the parliamentary chief, he tables the votes on military budget. Parliament, ' Erwin starts to explain, 'it 's where nobles ' '

'I know what the fucking parliament is, ' Levi interrupts, derisively. 'You patronising bastard. '

'Well he 's giving us notice, ' Erwin continues, 'that ' damn him, ' he grits, 'that he 's seen fit to schedule a review of spending at the end of this month. We were supposed to have more time, ' he defends, 'someone must have bribed him to push up the timetable ' '

'So? Bribe him back. '

Erwin shoots Levi a look he 's aware must be withering. 'If it were that simple, don 't you think I would have? '

'Is it not that simple? ' Levi leans back in his chair, folds his arms.

'I don 't have that kind of money. '

'Blackmail him. '

'I don 't have anything on him, ' Erwin seethes. A man like Morely ' he 'll have vices, of course, but he 's self-made. He 'll know all about paper trails, and a cleverer man than Lobov no doubt '

'He has a wife, doesn 't he? Children? '

Erwin frowns at him. 'If you 're suggesting we engage in some kind of ' extortion through threat of violence ' '

'I was going to say, he has a taste for young men, actually, ' Levi replies, 'and I don 't know if his wife knows, but I 'm sure those Wallist creeps who fund him would be interested. And since when does extortion through threat of violence bother you? ' He adds.

'Not

children, '

Erwin protests, 'how do you know about Morely 's predilections? '

'Isabel was a child, ' Levi says, 'and I worked his people for years, Erwin. You learn a thing or two. '

Erwin senses they 're having two different conversations at once. He reaches across the table and plucks Levi 's pen from his hand. 'Stop, ' he orders, 'start again. Why do you have intimate knowledge of the parliamentary chief 's sexual preferences? '

'If I tell you, will you tell me why you hate your mother? '

Erwin feels his eye twitch. 'I don 't hate my mother, ' he replies, levelly. Which is true. Of course, he doesn 't hate his mother. That would be absurd. Inhuman, in fact.

Levi tsks. 'Alright then, ' he says, leaning back in his chair, arms folded. He 's got a look on his face like he 's won something, undeservedly. 'Let me know how it goes with Morely. This has been fun, ' he tells him, 'I 'll almost feel sorry for you when they shut everything down. Will you join the MPs or the Garrison? '

The reality is that Erwin doesn 't want to talk about his childhood with Levi. He was raised in a wealthy town, with two parents, a warm home, good food, new clothes every season. There is nothing he can tell Levi about where he comes from that doesn 't make him look indulged at best, pathetic at worst. He doesn 't even expect Levi to be able to understand his pathological avoidance of home ' how could he, he 's never had one.

He carefully rearranges the letters on his desk, busy work for himself while Levi sits opposite him, expectantly. He neatens them, files them into piles, and finally, folds his hands on the tabletop. 'She 's not well, ' he tells him, careful with his words. 'She 's never been well, even before my father died. I don 't hate her. I love her very much. I don 't know how to talk to her anymore. ' He can 't stand the quiet of that house, the ticking clock, his mother 's empty eyes, empty words. It makes him want to shake her.

Just be robust,

he would scream, if he was the type of person to do so.

There 's a brief silence. Erwin rubs his thumb over his hand, a miniscule tic, perhaps the only tell he has when he 's nervous. Not like Levi ' he 's noticed Levi will chew the inside of his cheek when he 's uneasy, brush his nose when he 's nervous. He wears his heart on his sleeve far more clearly than he thinks.

Levi 's not really looking at him, more through him. 'I see, ' he says, a little distracted.

'Now you, ' Erwin tells him, patiently.

Levi looks at him. 'Hmm? Oh, ' he frowns. 'Morely and his boys. Easiest money I ever made, ' he says, with a smug, self-satisfied look on his face.

Erwin digs his thumbnail into his hand. 'Doing what? ' He asks, trying to keep himself impassive, not thinking about Levi all splayed out in his bed, the soft skin of his inner thighs, his clever fingers, his pink tongue.

'Sick freaks go below for all the shit they don 't want their wives to know about, ' Levi explains. 'Yeah ' wives, and other people, too. You see pastors, parliamentarians, MPs, lords, merchants. Pick your poison. It 's easy enough robbing them while they 're down there but you 're limited, understand? No one in their right mind carries a heavy bag of gold on their hip, Underground. Even those creeps weren 't that stupid, ' he adds, with a humourless smirk.

'Morely was one of them? ' Erwin asks. 'How many names do you know? '

Levi raises a finger, indicating he should pause. 'I picked their pockets, but I wasn 't bright enough for the politics or pretty enough for the sex. I was one ugly kid, ' he admits, 'like you, ' he adds, snidely.

Erwin lets out a breath he hadn 't realised he was holding. He finds that hard to believe, but Levi says it with enough sincerity that he 's knows it 's true. He 's relieved he won 't have to add one more horror to the laundry list that Levi occasionally drops into conversation.

'Furlan, though, ' and Levi 's face tightens into something slightly queasy looking. 'I mean, you saw him. He was a pretty kid, so he knew all kinds of ' knew his way around things. I fell in with him when I was, I don 't know. Fifteen, sixteen, maybe. He had some hits out on his head, stupid stuff, ' Levi mutters, like the sting of it still bothers him, 'Clay and his men ' had it in for us. My fault, probably. So Furlan 's crew turned on us, too. It was just the two of us for a while. We had to get creative. '

That 's more information about himself that Levi has ever really divulged, implicitly. 'Honeypot, ' Erwin guesses, and Levi actually smiles, like he 's impressed.

He snaps his fingers. 'Honeypot, ' he agrees. 'He was lots of people 's favourites. They 'd pay money to have him at their parties, sure, but that 's not where the real money came from. While Mr Fuckwit was distracted or Mistress Shitbrains was cooing all over him, I 'd get in, get out. Jewellery, cash, art. If they got too handsy, or tried to take more then we 'd offered, I 'd take care of that, too. Triple earnings. The money they gave us, the stuff we stole, and payment we 'd extort afterwards. '

'There was nothing about that on your rapsheet, ' Erwin admits.

'Course not, ' Levi smirks. He 's proud, Erwin realises. 'None of them want the guilt by association. Not everyone bought our services but Furlan was at enough summer balls to get a good lay of the land. Like, uh, ' he seems to be thinking, 'what 's his name, Zackly? You know he 's a pervert, right? Not an illegal pervert or anything ' but I mean, ' and Levi 's eyes widen, 'I heard rumours. '

Erwin finds himself leaning forward. 'What kind of rumours? ' He asks.

And Levi leans back, self-assured. 'Oh, wouldn 't you like to know, ' he teases. 'You got your eyes on the top job? '

'No, ' Erwin says, and he 's probably telling the truth. 'Knowledge is power, Levi. '

'Yeah, sure. Furlan used to think so. But we had to stop, eventually, ' Levi says distractedly. 'He didn 't want to, but ' it was wearing on him, you know? The shit he had to live with, ' Levi shivers. 'He was the brains. And good with his hands, too, ' Levi adds, as if Erwin needs to be impressed. 'He fixed up three sets of ODM gear for us, figured that out on his own. '

Levi is chewing on the inside of his cheek. 'Yeah, ' he murmurs, 'he had a shitty life. A shitty, short life. He suffered and suffered and then he died. '

Erwin 's fingers itch to reach for his cigarettes. Something to still that sickening fluttering in the top of his stomach, an excuse to avoid the vacant disgust in Levi 's eyes. 'Yes, ' he says, and it 's not an agreement, it 's just speaking for the sake of saying

something

.

'Yes, ' Levi repeats, flatly. 'Sorry. Does it hurt when you remember they were people? '

Erwin resists the urge to rub his eyes. 'Levi, ' he starts, softly.

'No, sorry, ' Levi interrupts him. 'I wouldn 't want to make this awkward for you. I can tell you feel ' well, probably not guilty. ' He narrows his eyes at him. 'But you 're human enough to feel shame. It 's okay. I 'm ashamed, too. '

He pushes the papers back on the desk. One of Erwin 's pens scatters and rolls onto the floor. 'What, ' he sneers, 'nothing to say? Don 't you have a lesson for me? '

Erwin could. Isn 't that the truth of it? He could teach him a lesson. He could use his words, and the sick thing is, Levi might believe him. Or he could teach him in other, more brutal, ways. He could never overpower him but he has other points of pressure. Erwin is realising, with a stomach-turning feeling, that even though he can, he doesn 't want to. He can 't force Levi. He can 't own him, not if he won 't let him.

'You have nothing to be ashamed of, ' he says instead, choosing his words carefully.

Levi stands. He paces. 'Don 't I? ' He mutters. 'Like I 'm not sitting here, like I haven 't ' rolled over, like a dog, ' he shudders. 'Letting you teach me, and feed me, and pet me. How fucking ' how desperate am I, sitting here with you. '

He turns away with disgust. 'Desperate for what? ' Erwin asks. 'Levi. We can 't change what happened. '

'You took everything from me, ' Levi tells him, just the back of him ' tensed shoulders, sharp spine ' visible. 'Give it back. '

'I can 't, ' Erwin says, helplessly. He didn 't want to fight. Maybe, naively, he had thought they were past it.

'You

can, '

Levi snarls, whipping round. 'You could let me go. No one would notice, they wouldn 't care. They 'd be glad I was gone. '

Erwin remembers that Levi is not his friend, nor his counterpart. Levi is a dangerous criminal who he mislead into joining his ranks and, as a result, cost him his closest friends. Levi 's eyes are not that of a student to a teacher, or a lover to a partner. It 's an assassin to a target. He stares at Erwin with an unbridled hate, impossible to hide.

'Fine, ' Erwin is hearing himself say, standing. He braces his fists on his desk. 'Give me back the letters, ' he demands, 'and the words. Give me back everything I 've given you, if you 're so inclined, and then you can leave. '

'Keep your whales, ' Levi tells him, brutally. 'Your dinosaurs and ' gravity, whatever else. Fucking hell, ' he mutters, rubbing his hand over his face. 'I must be pretty sick in the head, huh? ' He presses his palm to his temple, 'I almost let myself forget. That 's why you 're so dangerous, Erwin, ' and again Erwin thinks it 's the most truth anyone 's ever said to his face, 'you make people believe in you, even me, ' he huffs incredulously. 'You let them follow you, and you let them take the fall. You 're fucking terrifying. '

'I didn 't ask for that, ' Erwin tells him, stiffly. 'I never asked for people to trust me. '

'And I never asked to be born the way I am, but it didn 't stop you from taking me anyway. ' Levi turns away, like maybe he 's exhausted himself. 'I never asked to be strong. I just wanted to live. What other people want doesn 't matter to you, Erwin. You 're selfish. ' He looks over his shoulder; his eyes flash. 'I 'm sure your mother would agree. '

'Get out, ' Erwin tells him, coldly. He doesn 't want to fight like this, with words, not when Levi knows more about him than he should. Out of Erwin 's own foolishness, of course ' his, what, desire for Levi to

know.

Like Levi is a trusted friend, a confidante, someone who could understand or shoulder his burdens with him.

For him.

Levi gives him another one of those empty laughs. 'I 'm going to kill you, ' he tells him. He means it. There 's an inevitability written into his face, baked into the line of his shoulders. 'You realise that, don 't you? If you keep me, you 're signing your own death note. I 'll do it. I won 't be able to stop myself. '

'Why? ' Erwin demands. 'Are you an animal? Can 't you control it? '

Levi shakes his head, like Erwin is stupid, like he 's not privy to some great secret only Levi can understand. 'I just know it, Erwin, ' he says tiredly. 'Same way I know when someone 's going to throw a knife in my direction. Instinct. ' He doesn 't even sound angry. Just resigned.

'Get out, ' Erwin orders, again.

'Touched a nerve? ' Levi sneers. 'Just look in a mirror, Erwin, it saves me the trouble. '

'Get out before I do something I regret, ' Erwin tells him, and it 's probably true. He 's not usually so dispossessed. Levi clouds his head.

'So now he wants me to leave, ' Levi mutters. 'How do you think this ends, Erwin? '

Right now? With Erwin breaking Levi against a wall, his fingers in his mouth, hand wrapped around his throat, squirming beneath him. He 's never heard Levi beg ' he doesn 't even know if he knows how. He thinks Levi must see it across his face, because he sneers at him, and Erwin has to look away, jaw tight, cheeks heating.

'I 'll write your death note, ' Erwin says, stiffly, 'or you 'll write mine, probably. '

'Yeah, ' Levi agrees. 'Probably. '