'A steady hand is key. Both for your own confidence and your patient 's, ' Dr. Helfen said softly. There was a quiet click of the needle holders as he pinched the tiny curved needle in its grasp. He dipped it underneath a portion of soft pink tissue. 'Remember, the tissue here is very delicate, so be gentle. And be certain you don 't catch the fat in your suture. The fat will die, and then you 're left with a loosened stitch. '

The soldier in front of you grunted. A bead of sweat rolled down his temple, shining underneath the flickering light of the lantern swinging above. He was just one of the many that had lain on this table within the last four days after the Battle of Trost. Your patients ' stories of the witnessed horror from that day continuously echoed in your ears. Those that didn 't wish to speak aloud told you all you needed to know just by the look of their sunken eyes and inward contemplation. You never pushed for more information as you tended to their wounds. Your ears were simply open should they wish to recount their tales while you patched them up physically. Mentally, however, there wasn 't much you could do.

Dr. Helfen 's concentration did not break from his task. His clear eyes focused through the bifocals that sat perched on the end of his long nose. His aged skin may hold wrinkles these days and his hair was peppered with white, but the knowledge in his mind and the skill of his hands were just as youthful as ever.

It was just the three of you in that surgery that day. Your mentor 's practice was simple and consisted of only what you two needed. The main surgery, where the three of you were currently, had all the amenities the practice required. The back study was where you two resided and relaxed.

'Do you really feel the needle, cadet? Was my local anesthetic not enough? ' the surgeon asked as he smoothly pulled through the black catgut thread in a fluid motion. He deftly twisted his hand a couple of times, knotting the suture. A quick snip of the scissors and his suture was complete. Another quiet click of the needle holders and the needle plunged back in.

The cadet grunted. 'Just some sharp pressure. ' His dark eyes flickered over to you and he waggled his brows. 'Perhaps I need something a little stronger? '

You snorted and grabbed a dark bottle of whiskey from a nearby table. 'Not too much now, ' you warned, handing the half-empty bottle to the young cadet. 'Pace yourself and don 't move too much while drinking. Wouldn 't want your surgeon here piercing the wrong thing. '

The injured soldier took a quick swig and grinned at you over the lip of the bottle. 'Thank you, nurse. '

'Doctor, ' you corrected immediately, returning to your place beside your mentor.

'My, my,

doctor

, is it? Well, now I certainly feel like I 'm in capable hands, ' he said with a wink. 'May I ask why it isn 't your beautiful hands sewing me back up then? '

You leaned forward with a soft smile. 'He 's got gentler hands than I, ' you whispered.

'Oh, does he now? Here let me see for myself. ' The cadet put his bottle down and reached towards you. To keep him distracted from Dr. Helfen 's work, you decided to humor him. You gave over one of your hands. The cadet 's own hands were rough and covered in bloodied blisters that had torn open. The sight of the grime that covered the opened abrasions made you inwardly cringe. You needed to clean those as soon as possible. Softly, he traced the contours of your own clean hand, feeling the delicate veins and bones that ran from wrist to fingertip. His thumb brushed against the back of your hand.

'You don 't hold weapons very often, do you? ' he observed.

'I close wounds, not create them, ' you replied. You grabbed a bowl of clean water and mixed with it a sterile solution. 'I need to clean these before infection sets in those blisters. God knows what 's on your hands. '

The cadet glanced down. 'Titan blood and dirt? ' he guessed.

You dipped his dirty hands into the bowl and he hissed in pain. His gaze stayed locked on your face as you gently rubbed them clean. You dried them with a soft towel and wrapped them neatly with sterile bandages. 'There. Much better. '

'Not a gentle touch, my ass, ' the cadet grumbled as he picked his bottle back up. 'I wouldn 't mind knowing how they would feel doctoring

other

areas. '

You raised a brow. 'That would require your other

areas

to be injured in the first place. Which, if I had to guess, is something you 're not going to want. But it 's what 's going to happen if you keep up that talk in front of my father. '

The cadet choked on his drink, spewing the golden liquid over himself and the table. He glanced between you and the surgeon. 'Father? '

Dr. Helfen clucked in disapproval, quickly raising his hands away from the suture site. 'No longer sterile, ' he mumbled angrily.

You laughed and stood from your seat, reaching for the jars that contained evenly cut squares of gauze that sat soaking in a sterile solution. 'I 'm just messing with you. He 's only my mentor. ' You gently patted Dr. Helfen 's shoulder. 'Easily fixed, ' you reassured him.

He breathed heavily through his nose, setting down the needle holders. 'An opportunity to swap out, I suppose. You can finish closing this up. You will need to undermine the septae to decrease the tension of this closure. Get the practice in on a patient who isn 't writhing and screaming. '

Your mentor stood and wiped his hands on his apron, and promptly set off for the back study of his practice. You replaced him on his stool, scrubbing your hands thoroughly before picking up a scalpel and holding it above a flickering flame.

'Charming, ' the cadet commented with a snort. He saw the tiny blade headed for his wound and promptly took another swig of the bottle. Funny, you thought to yourself, to be nervous about a tiny scalpel in comparison to what he has to face outside of the walls.

You gently cut back the fibrous tissue underneath his skin and pulled the edges together to see how it would close. Satisfied with the tension, you replaced your scalpel with the needle holders. Hands steady and determination set, you finished the job Dr. Helfen left you, closing up the wound on the soldier 's side.

'Finished, ' you said with satisfaction, putting down the needle holders. You went to a shelf filled with different labeled vials, selecting one. With a clean syringe, you drew up the contents of the vial.

You tapped its side. 'To prevent infection, ' you informed him when you saw his wary gaze. 'Wouldn 't want you to survive all that and have it be a fever or sepsis carry you away in the end. '

Before he could protest about the needle, you injected the contents into his arm.

He grunted. 'I take back my comment about being gentle, ' he grumbled, sitting up and rubbing his arm.

You smirked and carefully cleaned the remaining blood on the skin around the sutured wound. You then took a bandage from the basket that sat nearby and began to wrap it around his torso, covering the suture site. You took a deep breath and rolled out your neck to release the tension that had built there. 'All done, ' you said with a gentle pat to his bandaged stomach.

'Thank you, Doctor, ' the cadet said, a soft smile on his lips.

'Pleasure is all mine, ' you replied, reaching for Dr. Helfen 's log book and a pen. 'You can finish off that bottle while I record. As soon as I 'm done, you are cleared to return to your barracks. Or report to your captain. Or 'whatever the protocol is for you scouts. '

The cadet gave you a mock salute before laying back down, tipping the glass to his lips. An infant sucking on a bottle.

You snorted at the sight before beginning to write:

Year 850.

Patient

: Squad Member Marc Werner of the Survey Corps

Attending physician(s)

: Arthur Helfen; XXXXXX XXXXXX

Chief Concern

: 22 year-old male presented with a wound on his right side. Obtained from a steel blade during a scouting mission.

Assessment

: Deep laceration to the right anterior flank. External abdominal oblique muscle opened with a perforation of 11cm. Normal sanguineous exudate; severe bleeding at time of laceration but had slowed upon admittance with patient applying pressure to area. Patient pain assessment as severe. Tissue healthy and pink. Laceration and surrounding area lavaged with sterile water and an antiseptic. Local anesthetic injected into the surrounding area. Laceration undermined with a 3 layer closure. Antibiotic administered subcutaneously. Dressing applied and covered with gauze bandaging. No other apparent injuries.

Plan

: Change dressing every day. Do not allow the sutures to get wet. Observe for any signs of bleeding or discharge from the wound. No extensive activity for the next 10 days, especially with ODM gear. Common oral pain medications or tea may be used for pain management. Return in two weeks for wound evaluation and suture removal.

'You 're free to leave now, cadet, ' you said, blowing on the fresh black ink shining on the open page before you. 'I will see you in a fortnight, yes? '

Marc Werner slipped off the table and landed on his feet. The empty bottle clinked as he placed it onto the surgery table. He smiled and leaned towards you. 'Why not see me again sooner? '

You placed the open log book on the nearby desk, allowing the ink to continue to dry. You reached for a small tub and began to load it up with the leftover bloodied instruments. You tossed the empty whiskey bottle into the rubbish bin. 'Because you are my patient, not a suitor. '

'Psh. Who says I can 't be both? My ma always said, 'Marc, make sure you marry a woman who can take good care of you! God knows you need it! ' And by my evaluation, you did a pretty good job of taking care of me today. '

You filled the tub with soap and water and set it aside to soak. You turned to him, hand on hip. 'Talk of marriage already? My! I must have had quite the effect on you! '

'An understatement. I think I might be in love! The moment you put that scalpel to my flesh I knew it was destiny. '

You crossed your arms. 'It 's time for you to go, Mr. Werner. I 'm certain you will find that wife one day, but you will not find her in me, ' you said sternly.

'Life is short out there for a squad member in the Survey Corps, Doctor. Any moment could be our last the second we step past those walls. Won 't you help make my life more fulfilling in the meantime? '

Annoyance briefly flashed through you. 'I 'm afraid my profession would keep me away from my marital duties. I 'm far too busy here. ' You began to push him towards the door. 'Goodbye now, Mr. Werner. '

'You wound me more than that blade did today, Doc! ' he mock cried, resisting your shoves to the door. The damn bastard wouldn 't budge. 'Matters of the heart are just as important as the flesh. Please won 't you- Commander! Captain! '

The door of the practice suddenly swung shut behind two figures who had just entered the practice. Mr. Werner had immediately snapped to attention, placing the side of his right fist against his heart. You stumbled from his sudden movement, the momentum from trying to move him pushing you forward. You caught yourself on the surgery table, but not before slamming your hip against its edge.

'Sonofabitch! ' you cursed, rubbing your side. You shot a glare towards the cadet.

'Werner. Your wound has been tended to? ' the taller of the two men asked, not unkindly.

'Yes, Commander Erwin. I can report for duty immediately, ' Mr. Werner replied.

'Good. I need you to report to- '

'You most certainly cannot! ' you interjected. All three sets of eyes went straight to you. 'You need rest, Mr. Werner. No riding horses, no zipping around on that gear of yours! You 'll just tear those sutures open and you 'll be right back here - provided that ripping open your side again doesn 't slow you down and cause you to be eaten! '

The room went silent. The tall blonde man, the one Marc Werner referred to as Commander Erwin, regarded you with a cool look. He looked back towards the cadet. 'Werner. You will report to your squadron 's captain immediately. We need updated numbers so I know how many able-bodied scouts I have for the next expedition. '

'Did you not hear what I just- '

'With all due respect, nurse, you do not give my soldiers orders. However, we shall keep your recommendations in mind while we- '

'Doctor, ' you interrupted. 'And as his

doctor

, it is my

order

that he get rest. You send that wounded man back out there, he has a higher chance of perishing than if you had let him heal. And by the number of dead with each expedition, Commander, that chance is already high enough as it is. Not to mention we are well acquainted with many of your wounded here; a number nearly as high. '

'Every scout knows the risk of their job, Doctor, and accepts it with pride, ' the commander replied smoothly. 'And it is not your place to criticize matters that you have no understanding of. '

You exhaled through your nose in frustration.

The smaller of the two men, who had yet to say a word, began pacing the room of the small surgery. Captain, was it? The other title Marc Werner had mentioned? Someone of higher ranking considering he had accompanied the commander of the Scouting Legion, for whatever the reason they could possibly be here for. The captain paused by the back desk and peered over at the log book you had left open. You reached over and snapped it closed. 'Patient confidentiality, ' you scolded, narrowing your eyes at him.

He met your gaze evenly, unfazed.

You sucked in a breath, unable to look away.

The flickering light of the desk 's lantern highlighted the color of his narrow eyes. What you thought was dark and cold a moment earlier was actually hues of blue and grey, contrasted by the dark strands of hair framing his eyes. His face looked too young to belong to a captain of the Survey Corps, but the expression held there was one that clearly weathered many hard years.

You felt a warmth slowly travel up the back of your neck.

Marc Werner laughed uneasily, breaking the tension. You looked away.

The cadet raised his hands. 'No need to get worked up, Doc. I 'm fine, really. Thank you again for sewing me back up. ' As put his bloodied shirt back on, you turned your back to the captain and made to look at anything else instead.

Mr. Werner nodded towards the commander. 'I shall return to my squad immediately. ' He saluted his higher up, fist to heart, before grabbing his tan jacket and making a swift exit out of the surgery. The slam of the door filled the awkward silence surrounding the group.

Commander Erwin now wore a small scowl on his face. You wiped your hands on your apron in irritation. You took a steadying breath to calm yourself before speaking. 'Is there a purpose to your visit today, other than dispatching my patient? '

'There is, in fact. We need to speak with the head physician of your surgery, ' the commander answered.

Just in time, the hurried footsteps of your mentor sounded from the back. His voice carried excitement as he shouted from the other room. 'Darling! We have growth! I think the new medium you mixed worked even better than the last! ' The door to the back study opened and Dr. Helfen proudly waved around a clear dish which was covered in bacterial colonies. The smell permeated the room in an instant. 'This is an incredible develop- oh, good evening, gentlemen. ' His eyes took in the insignia on their uniforms. 'Scouting Regiment! Gracious, are there more injured? What can I do to help? '

The small captain wrinkled his nose in obvious distaste of the smell and regarded your mentor with a look that made your blood boil. Looks be damned, that captain can fuck right off with an attitude like that.

'May we speak with you in private, Doctor? ' the commander replied, rearranging his scowl into a polite smile. He gestured to Dr. Helfen 's back study. You wanted to chuck your mentor 's petri dish at his neatly-combed blonde head. Then at that posturing black-haired captain.

'Certainly! Right this way. Darling, finish cleaning up, will you? ' Dr. Helfen led the two men to his office. They followed him in without a second glance towards you.

Muttering to yourself in annoyance, you continued the job of cleaning up the main room of the surgery. You scrubbed and sterilized the instruments, then the surgery table. You replaced the log book back onto its place on the shelf. As you cleaned, you occasionally glanced towards the door of your mentor 's study.

Your annoyance grew.

What could they possibly want with Dr. Helfen? And why was it so confidential that you couldn 't be included? If they planned on taking him away from you, then they would receive worse words from you than what they had gotten earlier. Your mentor was the only person you had left in this life.

He had taken you in when you were younger, his practice having just opened at the time. And though he had been head high in debt, and could barely afford to tend to himself, he ensured that your belly was always filled with warm food and your head with knowledge.

With fierce determination and enthusiasm, he nurtured your interest in his work. Sitting on a stool in the corner of his surgery, you intently watched as he tended to patients. You always observed in silence, taking in his every decision and mentally storing away notes.

Dr. Helfen steadily built up a reputation as one of the greatest surgeons within Wall Sina, and even went so far as to publish his own discoveries in the field. There was never a case that he turned away. Whether it was a scout leg amputation, a farmer 's illness, or a wealthy woman 's allergies, he treated all that reached him with empathy and without discrimination. People paid with what they could. Some plucked silver out of their coin purses while others brought with them whatever goods they could part with.

When the epidemic arrived in Shiganshina, the physician known as Dr. Jaeger had knocked on the door of the practice. The two collaborated heavily in fighting the illness that had arrived in the district. You had assisted in your own way, helping to conduct the experiments in the back room of the surgery, collecting data that helped develop the cure.

By the end of it, Dr. Jaeger had claimed all the glory, but the satisfaction of knowing he had helped save the lives of many was enough for Dr. Helfen - he wasn 't in this field for the recognition, anyways. However, it always left a sour taste in your mouth, that lack of recognition. If Dr. Helfen had gotten at least some credit, it could have expanded his clientele of patients. He could have treated even more people as a result.

When Dr. Jaeger had disappeared around the time of the fall of Wall Maria, you couldn 't say you were exactly sorry to hear so. Perhaps it was a selfish, immoral thought, having the pleasure of thinking that more people would now come to your mentor rather than Dr. Jaeger. But your empathy only extended so far. There was always something off about that man that made you question his motives. His unconventional interests and strange expressions. The hushed conversations between him and Dr. 'Helfen in the back room that quickly devolved into arguments that led to your mentor kicking him out.

When you came of age and told Dr. Helfen your interest in obtaining a formal education, his excitement was palpable. With the little money he had managed to save over the years in addition to his recommendation, you were able to attend university to study medicine in Mitras. Many years of hard work later, you graduated with the title of Doctor. You returned to your mentor 's practice, and he once again took you under his wing, where until this day, you practiced medicine alongside him.

The day Wall Maria fell five years prior, the number of sick and injured people who came into the surgery became overwhelming, but you and the old surgeon never turned a patient away. No longer observing in the corner, you treated half of the patients that walked through that door. You adopted his philosophy of treating without discrimination and vowed that every soul that walked through that door would leave healed.

Everyone except those two men, you huffed to yourself.

The thought of having Dr. Helfen taken from you filled your being with anxiety. You would break your oath to do no harm should that commander have plans to make him face an ending as horrid as being eaten by one of those damned Titans.

You thought back to the shared gaze from before and paused your scrubbing. Those damn grey eyes flashed in your mind. No, no! You will not travel down that road of thinking. You didn 't care how handsome they were! Their motives for being here were suspicious, and you would not let their looks override their actions. You scrubbed harder.

The only reasoning for their sudden appearance you could think of was that they needed your mentor 's services elsewhere. But that didn 't make sense to you. He had always been able to heal their injured scouts - who made up a majority of your patients - just fine from this location. There would be no need to remove him from his home here within Wall Sina.

After glancing towards the door for the hundredth time, you sighed and tiptoed towards it. You leaned your ear against the wood, hoping to catch a glimpse of the conversation occurring inside. All you could hear was the occasional muffled voice. You sighed again and returned to cleaning.

Finally, after circling thoughts and scrubbing the surgery table for the third time as something to do, the door of the back study swung open. You stood to attention, curiosity overriding the annoyance you had felt earlier. The commander and captain walked out, followed by your mentor. Dread pooled in your stomach when you saw his somber expression.

'What is it? What has happened? ' you asked uneasily.

Dr. Helfen cleared his throat and avoided your gaze. Your own stayed locked onto his face, bracing yourself for the worst. You readied yourself to hear that he was going to leave you, this practice, everything behind.

He spoke to the floor. 'You will no longer be working beside me. You are now the exclusive attending physician for the Survey Corps. '