Of course, just because they aren't hitting each other, doesn't mean that hostilities between the two have ceased.

Really, it's anything but.

First, comes the debate as old as time.

"Could you

please

," Dazai groans, pulling his blankets over his head as Chuuya's alarm

blares

at six a.m., the obnoxious screeching gating against his ears, "not set that to

full volume?! '

Chuuya shrugs, pulling on his sneakers, letting it blare just a

little

longer than necessary before hitting the snooze button. "What can I say? I'm a deep

sleeper

. '

Dazai, it turns out, has the delightful blessing of having a roommate who likes to go for morning runs.

And by morning, he means the absolute

ass crack of dawn.

Then, like Dazai doesn't suffer

enough

, by the time he's

actually

starting to wake up again, it's to Chuuya striding back in, adam's apple bobbing as he takes a swig of water, pulling up the hem of his shirt to dab at the sweat on his forehead.

And that's just...

Dazai's eyes are darting around from under his pillow,

anywhere

but the redhead's toned stomach.

He remembers that. His hand sliding under unbuttoned flannel, palm sliding flat against Chuuya's ribs, surprised by the muscle he found there.

And now they're literally in Dazai's face (five feet away) in front of his (metaphorical) breakfast, like some sort of

cosmic punishment

for his past sins.

He pulls the pillow tighter over his face, groaning softly.

"You're such a fucking

baby

." Chuuya rolls his eyes "It's already eight."

Dazai peeks to see Chuuya sitting on the edge of his mattress, kicking off his shoes. "I saw a spider in your bed while you were gone." Chuuya's eyes widen as he looks around for it, and when he

does

see it, he

shrieks

, flailing and falling to the floor.

Ha

. Dazai thinks to himself smugly.

Not manly at all. Really. It's totally fine and normal that you'd feel confused '

"Why didn't you say something BEFORE I sat down you

ASSHOLE

'"

Dazai's smugness is snuffed out when a sneaker bounces off of his head and he groans

again

, burrowing deeper under his blankets. "Because I hate you."

"Not as much as

I

hate

you

'"

"HEY."

A fist pounds into their door.

"QUIET HOURS RUN

UNTIL 9 A.M."

"Tell that to Chuuya-chan!" Dazai calls out pleasantly, staring the redhead down like he's the

actual

devil. "He's been up since SIX! '

"Both of you,

SHUT UP."

Chuuya stalks off to the shower, and Dazai

tries

to go back to sleep.

He hates him.

Hates

him.

There are moments. Brief. Unconvincing moments. When Chuuya convinces himself his roommate might not be

that

bad.

Like when he's dozing in the middle of the night, halfway between dream and sleep, and he overhears a muted phone conversation from their balcony.

"You're okay," he hasn't heard Dazai sound like

that

before. Well actually. He has.

"What's your name?"

"It's not a big one, is it?" He cranes his head a little, and he can see Dazai leaning back against the railing in the dim light, his phone pressed to his ear. "Did you try counting after the lighting?" There's a pause, and Dazai nods, "I know, okay 'that was it? One...two...three...four...five...And there's the thunder. See? Not that close."

Chuuya's heart skips a beat when he sees the faint outline of Dazai's smile, soft and affectionate.

"...I know," Dazai murmurs, tilting his head back, glancing up at the clear sky overhead. "It's okay." He bites back a yawn. "No, Atsushi 'don't worry about it, ' he rubs at his eyes, making himself comfortable as he sits down on the balcony floor. "We can wait it out together."

Chuuya rolls over in his bed, staring the wall, feeling a little guilty for overhearing what sounds like a private, family conversation.

"How was school today?"

Chuuya pulls the blankets above his head, muffling it out.

Okay, fine. He's a

decent

big brother. Good for him.

And then there are

other

moments, when Chuuya remembers

exactly

how much he's the

absolute worst.

"You're gonna

love

it," Yuan is bouncing on her heels beside him, clutching the movie to her chest. "Heads literally

roll

. '

"Rolling." Chuuya bobs his head, "Great."

"You said you liked horror, right?" His friend beams at him happily, "I put on my

skeleton

leggings for the movie night! '

The scariest thing Rimbaud ever let Chuuya get his hands on when he was living at home was Sweeny Todd.

And Chuuya didn't get a haircut for three months.

But he's always been an advocate of facing your fears, and he figures the first step away from being a sheltered, anxiety ridden little

chicken

is probably horror movies with your friend on a Saturday night. "Yep!" His grin is

utterly

confident. "The bloodier the better!"

'

Perfect

, I'm so glad I picked Hereditary then, you're gonna

love

it, it's

so

fucking sick '"

Kill him. Kill him right now.

And that's what he was thinking

before

they opened the door, and the sound of high pitched, breathless moaning hit their ears.

What the '?

There's a girl stretched out on Dazai's bed, long, dark hair 'pretty green eyes 'clawing at the sheets, throwing her head back. "Oh

fuck

, please,

please

' '

Chuuya's nose wrinkles a little bit. So, people

actually

sound like that?

But his disgust wanes a

little bit

when Dazai's head appears from under the covers, hair sticking up in every direction from where her fingers were tugging at it, wiping his mouth as he glances over at the two newcomers.

His eyes meet Chuuya's, and there's a silent war as he smirks up at him.

Chuuya can practically

hear

the words,

'Would a gay guy do

that

?'

Chuuya crosses his arms over his chest, definitively unimpressed. (Okay, it's a lie, his heart is pounding and he has

no clue

how he isn't blushing right now, but he's assuming his hatred has given him control over the blood vessels in his face, that's the only explanation.)

No. A

bisexual

guy would. But really, whatever crisis the little 'well no, he isn't little 'asshole is having, it's

not

Chuuya's problem.

The girl in Dazai's arms is

oblivious

to the conflict, mortified as she yanks the blankets up over her chest, while Dazai, ever the gentleman, pulls her behind him. "Ever hear of

knocking? '

Chuuya glares. "Aren't you supposed to put a sock on the door or something?!"

Dazai snorts derisively. "Look, I know your only experience with how sex works is from teen romance movies, but no one

actually does that. '

Chuuya's face

is

heating up now. "Well how the fuck was I supposed to

know? '

Dazai's smug expression doesn't change. "I texted you."

Chuuya is about to protest that he

definitely didn't

, whipping out his phone, and '

"...

That's

what that emoji means?!"

Yuan glances over his arm, peering at his phone screen. "Um. Yeah. He was pretty clear."

Chuuya glances over at her frantically, "How?!"

"Well, see the cat emoji, then the hungry one, and the fork and knife? '

"Oh

my god '"

"Look, we can watch in my room, okay?" Yuan tugs his arm gently, waving at Dazai and his lady friend, a little embarrassed herself. "Sorry!"

Dazai stares at Chuuya, like he expects an apology from

him

.

Like

hell

.

Chuuya

would

apologize to the girl, but...

Well. It's part of the hazard of having such shitty taste in guys. Chuuya can't relate.

When they walk over to the women's dorm, Yuan is trying to figure out...how to broach the subject. "So...like 'are you two...?"

"Are we what?" Chuuya blinks.

"Uh," Yuan shrugs, "there was...like weird tension between the two of you."

"What?!" Chuuya blinks rapidly, shaking his head vehemently. "I mean, he's a

dick

with a lot of internalized homophobia, but

no

'besides, I have a

boyfriend

'"

Yuan blinks, honestly surprised. "...You do?"

Chuuya pauses. "Well ' ' He rubs the back of his neck, glancing away. "Yeah. We've been texting all summer, we just aren't like...Public yet. But we're going out tomorrow."

"Oh," Yuan smiles, tilting her head to the side. "That's awesome! Your first college boyfriend! I hear it's so

different

from high school."

Chuuya wouldn't really

know

. He's Chuuya's first boyfriend of

any

kind, period.

"The

point

is," he shrugs as they walk into Yuan's dorm, "the only tension between me and Dazai is me fighting the urge to kick his face in."

"That would be a shame."

"Who's side are you

on? '

Yuan snorts, rolling her eyes as she mashes the button to call the elevator. "He's hot Chuuya, and I'm just a

woman. '

"What, so I should be expecting weird cat emoji texts from you too?!"

"I mean," she waggles her eyebrows at him, "if he

offers ' '

Reading and everything else aside, Yuan regrets her choices within the hour, when Chuuya is wrapped around her in a vice grip, bruising her ribs. 'What the FUCK?! Was that her HEAD?? '

'I said '" Yuan wheezes, ' 'they would roll '"

'THAT WAS MORE THAN ROLLING, WHAT THE FUCK?! '

It ends up with them huddled in Yuan 's dorm bed, because Chuuya is worried

she

might have a hard time. Not like the other freshman is too chicken to walk back to his dorm after that. Nope. That would be

crazy

.

'Can we watch another one tomorrow? '

Yuan gapes. 'You 're kidding '"

Chuuya shakes his head. 'I can come by after my date. '

'No. No way! '

'Please? I 'm not gonna get over it until I get used to it, Chuuya explains, reaching over to grab an orange pill bottle from his backpack. 'And then I 'll be fine. '

'You scared my

RA

with how loud you shrieked last time. ' She mutters. 'You 're gonna get me kicked out. '

'Am

not. '

Chuuya glances at his watch, taking a swig from his water bottle, swallowing two pills.

One a.m. Pushing it, but he 'll be fine.

'I used to be scared

shitless

of clowns, you know. And then I had my dad get us season tickets to the circus, and I got over it. '

'Cool, ' Yuan snorts, rolling her eyes, 'you 're a masochist. '

'No, ' Chuuya flops back down on her bed. 'I just don 't like avoiding things just because I 'm scared. '

'That 's...admirable, I guess. ' Yuan snorts. 'Well, Mr. Face your fears 'want me to be the big spoon? '

Pride be

damned

...

'Yes, please. '

That movie was

fucked up.

The next day, he spends the afternoon at the movies 'this time just some cheap action flick, lots of explosions. But entertaining, all the same. It 's when they 're leaning back against Shirase 's motorcycle after, Chuuya balancing against the seat while the taller teen stands between his legs, hands fumbling with jackets as their lips brush together, that Chuuya breaks away. 'Hey...uh... ' he swallows hard, shivering when

Shirase chases his mouth, 'Wait '" he pushes a hand against his chest, 'Wait a second. '

The other teen leans back, raising an eyebrow, 'Is everything okay? '

'Huh? Oh, yeah, ' Chuuya pushes his hair behind his ears. 'I was just 'well 'you 're my boyfriend, right? '

'I 'm... ' Shirase blinks, a little thrown off. 'Do you want me to be? '

'Uh. ' Chuuya 's heart flutters, and he grits his teeth. 'I mean 'I wouldn 't mind if

you

wanted to be, y 'know, exclusive. But like, if you don 't it 's whatever. I 'm good either way '"

Shirase 's lips cut him off.

Kissing him is kind of intense. More teeth, force than Chuuya is necessarily ready for, but not

bad

.

And the roughness in his hands when they cup the sides of Chuuya 's neck '

He

likes

that.

'I wanna be exclusive, ' he agrees, 'it 's just... '

Chuuya 's stomach sinks 'Just...? '

'I got my scholarship through the track team, and... ' Shirase sighs, resting his chin against Chuuya 's shoulder. 'I don 't know what would happen if I was out. '

'... '

Right

. That seems reasonable. 'Look, I don 't want you to get in trouble '"

'Hey, ' Shirase shakes his head, 'you aren 't any trouble, okay? ' He strokes Chuuya 's cheek with his thumb. 'I 'm the one with the problem. '

Which is already a

vast

improvement over the

other

boy in Chuuya 's life, so he 's happy to take it. 'So... '

'I 'm your boyfriend. ' Shirase kisses him again. 'Just...you know. '

'Yeah... ' Chuuya blinks, his fingers interlocked at the nape of his neck. 'I kind of already mentioned it to Dazai... ' Shirase stiffens a little, and Chuuya winces. 'Sorry '"

'No, it 's okay, he... ' Shirase swallows hard. 'Do you think he 'd tell anyone? '

'...No. ' Chuuya admits. He 's an asshole. A real piece of shit. But not

that

kind of asshole.

'Good, ' Shirase relaxes a little. 'Might be for the best, anyway. '

'Oh? '

'Well, ' his boyfriend smiles impishly, 'he 'll probably walk in on us at some point. '

'... ' A plan. No. A

scheme

, starts to form.

"Look," a week later, Dazai is walking back from class, his phone jammed up next to his ear, and his textbooks under his arm. "I was the one who told Dad boarding school was a bad idea '"

"A

bad

idea?"

Oda snorts,

'That's an

understatement

, he's

seven

! '

"I know, it's fucked up." Dazai mutters, mouthing

'thank you'

when someone holds the door to his dorm open for him, slipping inside. "Look--I've told him as much as you have. I had to stay up until three last week talking him down because it stormed over there."

"Is he actually going to keep him there until Christmas?"

Dazai sighs heavily. "I don't

know

, Odasaku, I really don't know him any better than you do. But seriously, I've gotta go '"

"This is important '"

"I

know

," Dazai agrees, "but you were the one that wanted me to give college a

serious

try, and I have a

test

tomorrow, so I was

actually

going to study for it."

"...You were?"

"This is why I have fantastic self-esteem," Dazai mutters flatly. "Thank you, o' nurturing big brother, for getting me where I am today."

"You're welcome."

Dazai hangs up, annoyed. All of his gen eds are

well

out of the way, given his upper placement classes in high school. He's in a few pre-medical classes, to

appease

Mori, and...While studies come fairly easily to him, he actually has to

study

for biology.

But all thoughts of studying

cease

when he opens the door to his dorm room, his eyes going

wide

at the sight before him.

He's not bothered. Why would he be? Maybe a little

grossed out.

But not

bothered

.

Chuuya leans back where he's sitting in Shirase's lap, hands on his chest. "Ever heard of knocking?"

Dazai's phone is dangling loosely from his fingertips, and his expression is trapped somewhere between surprise and '

Disgust. Because it's gross.

Green with

disgust

.

Nothing

else

.

They're sitting up against Chuuya's headboard, the redhead straddling his boyfriend's lap, both of them shirtless, and when Dazai sees a row of bruises against the redhead's collarbone, something in his stomach turns over, like some raging beast is trying to claw its way out.

"..." Dazai pulls his phone out of his pocket, checking, and '

Chuuya

did

text him.

"...You realize you're supposed to use the

eggplant

emoji, right?" He asks slowly, forcing himself to sound calm, if not a

little

annoyed.

Because that's really

all

he is. He doesn't have time to be worrying about this right now.

Shirase blinks, tilting his head to the side. "Which emoji did you '? '

Chuuya practically claps his hand over his boyfriend's

entire

face, shoving him back. "The carrot emoji is

basically the same thing

, okay?"

"You used the-?!" Shirase is muffled, and Dazai is

snickering

.

"Have you

ever

been on the internet?"

"I

have

'

! '

Chuuya is half turned around now,

completely

defensive, and Dazai is getting the view of a body that he

definitely

hasn't given any deep amount of thought. Nope. It's a complete shock to him.

Never even considered what his hipbones might look like.

Whatever.

"Just so you know, when you manage to get to third base, you should use the

peach '"

"Shut the fuck up! '

Chuuya snarls, while internally committing that to memory. "Could you just

get out?! '

"No." Dazai smiles, dropping his book on his desk a

bit

passive aggressively.

His eyes widen slightly as his roommate drops down in his desk chair, dropping his phone and keys.

"What the

fuck

do you mean

no?!"

"I have a test tomorrow," Dazai yawns, opening his textbook with an admittedly

sassy

flick of the wrist. "So, I'll be studying. But don't mind me," his smile is so sickly sweet, it makes Chuuya

sick

. "By all means," he waves them off. "Go ahead."

He turns around in his chair, like they aren't even

there

.

"...So you're just going to sit there and study while I go down on him?"

"You're not gonna do that."

Chuuya's face is

way

more flushed

now

than it was when Shirase was giving him the bruises that trace over his throat and chest. "I

am

so if you don't wanna hear

that

, you better scram '"

Shirase isn't particularly

into

voyeurism, but he can't express that from behind Chuuya's fingers, so his protests are muffled and

unheard

.

"Well now I'm just

curious

. ' Dazai is smiling

vindictively

at his biology notes.

Not with

amusement

at the fact that Chuuya actually used the word

'scram'

seriously in conversation.

"What do you mean?!"

"You can't even say the word

'cock'

, so I'm interested to see how you're going to get one in your mouth."

Chuuya is

sputtering

, gawking at him like a

fish

, and he wants to

kill him

. "I absolutely CAN!"

"Then say it."

"What?! '

"Say, 'I, Chuuya Nakahara, am about to suck my boyfriend's cock, so you better

scram. '

Dazai peeks out of the corner of his eye, and his smile

widens

when he sees how absolutely

cowed

Chuuya looks.

"You don't have to '" Shirase breaks free to

start

to speak, only to get shoved back down against the pillows.

"What, so you just walk around saying that you eat girls out all the time?!"

Dazai's face

hurts

. "You mean that I eat pussy?"

Chuuya looks like he's about to ascend to an astral plane with embarrassment, and Dazai is having the

time of his life.

"It's one of my favorite past times." Dazai sighs dramatically, licking his lips, "Best meal of the day."

"Would you just

shut up '"

"Why? I mean, you saw, I'm

very

comfortable getting face deep in a '"

"You're

disgusting! '

"And you aren't going to suck him off, so can I study now?"

"I

am

and I can obviously say

dick

out loud, I

have one

! '

"Didn't ask you to say that." Dazai looks like the cat that caught the canary.

"Fuck off '!"

"I don't get why it's so hard to say you want your boyfriends big, throbbing cock in your mouth." Dazai shrugs.

Chuuya is almost

purple

at this point, and he looks like he's stuck between

strangling

Dazai or crawling under the bed so he can die in

peace

.

"Look," Shirase finally manages to claw his mouth free, "it doesn't matter, I'm not really into someone watching '"

"What, so you're taking his side?"

"Well, it's

my cock

Chuuya so I think I can be on my

own

side here!"

"See!" Dazai slow claps, and Chuuya is ready to

end

him, "he can say it! Good for him!"

"...You know WHAT YOU PIECE OF '"

"Kunikida-senpai is gonna hear youuuu~! '

"..." And it would be their third noise violation this week.

Chuuya's teeth come together with a snap.

Dammit.

"I do have my own dorm room, you know." Shirase points out.

"But we were here f '" Chuuya can

hear

how childish he sounds, and he lets out an

exasperated

sigh. "...

fine. '

He crawls out of bed, fumbling for his shirt while Dazai feels a little

less

successful in his torture tactics, because now Chuuya is just going to do the

same

thing somewhere

else

, but '

Why the fuck should he care about

that?

"At least if I spend the night at

your

place I don't have to listen to

that

bastard snoring all night. '

Dazai doesn't snore. But Chuuya is aggressively pushing the idea that he does in an effort to make him seem a little bit less attractive.

Dazai's stomach

drops

.

Spend the night?

Which shouldn't matter. At all.

It really doesn't. That's why he turns around and spends the sixty seconds they spend clearing out glaring at his biology textbook. Because he's focused, unbothered, and it

doesn't matter.

"So, can you really not say it?"

"Don't

start. '

Shirase doesn't think it's particularly

sexy

when they're in his dorm room later, and Chuuya is kneeling between his legs, cracking his knuckles like he's about to work on a diesel engine. "What exactly are you trying to prove here?"

"What? You don't want me to do it?"

"I mean," Shirase winces when Chuuya pulls down his zipper a little too forcefully. "I

do

, but this just feels like some weird competition with your roommate '"

Chuuya snorts, shaking his head, "He has

nothing

to do with this. '

"...Alright, just '

fuck

'" Shirase grits his teeth, head flying back as Chuuya yanks down his underwear, " 'just

slow down a little '"

Overall, it's not a

terrible

experience for Chuuya. Shirase isn't an intimidating size, and he stays

relatively still,

even if he tugs at his hair a little more than what's really

comfortable

but hey, that's part of the ballgame, right?

There is one

somewhat

unfortunate experience with teeth, but Shirase didn't exactly

warn

him '

Hey, he got out of it in one piece, so Chuuya is willing to call it a

success

.

And now Dazai can't look at Chuuya like he's some

idiot virgin

who doesn't know how to do anything.

Because he

has

done something and he's been

successful

.

Well. Shirase came, so Chuuya would qualify

that

as success.

(Dazai did

not

study that much for his test, by the way.)

He spent the next three hours staring at his notes, barely able to focus 'and then he gave up, scrolling through his contacts.

Not Sasaki, not after last week...Naomi has that weird brother, not worth the trouble...His thumb pauses over a different name.

She's a redhead, right?

She 's an exchange student with a distinct southern drawl, one that makes him relax when he closes his eyes, her nails scratching down his back.

And, as it turns out 'not a redhead. Just honey brown hair that looks a

little

red in the sun.

But it 's close enough, and if she 's only redhead

adjacent

, he can tell himself that it 's all some trick of the subconscious and a

coincidence

, rather than...

He squeezes his eyes shut as she presses a kiss to the side of his throat, relaxing against his side.

'You said you didn 't have a boyfriend. ' Dazai murmurs, eyes closed.

'I don 't, ' she agrees. Her skin is soft, and the feeling of the shape of her pressed against his side is

comforting

. 'Why say that? '

'His name is Nathaniel, right? '

She turns away, and the comforting weight of her is gone. 'We 're not '...Not anymore."

Dazai opens his eyes, staring up at the tiles that make up the ceiling of his dorm room, trying to find some sort of pattern. 'That 's fine, then. '

She wraps her arms around herself, shrinking in, and Dazai sighs. 'How long has it been? '

'...Two weeks, ' she admits quietly.

'... ' Dazai silently lifts his arm, offering 'and she rolls over again, curling into him breaths shuddering.

'I 'I 'm really sorry, this 'I 'm so pathetic '"

'You aren 't. ' Dazai doesn 't sound as tired as he feels.

'H 'he said he would

wait

while I was 'studying abroad '"

'And he didn 't? '

Her choked sob is answer enough. 'I 'I know this is probably so weird '"

'No, ' Dazai 's fingers stroke through red

adjacent

hairs, his eyes looking anywhere but her. 'You 're normal. '

He doesn 't mind listening to her, letting her hold onto him. Watching

her

let it out makes it feel like

he 's

feeling something too. And that 's a first, in a long time. Of course 'the next girl he takes out

is

a redhead, not adjacent at all 'but he tells himself that it 's a

coincidence

.