At first, all Hawks could feel was the lancing, visceral hurt ' he couldn 't think beyond that, the panic and adrenaline of an open wound, of all that raw pain, setting in and forcing him into fight or flight mode.

But after that settles and his logical mind returns he realizes he might have mishandled the situation terribly. Blinded by fear, all he could see in that moment was the most important relationship in his life crumbling apart at the hands of the person he loves the most. But in the cool light of morning, after yet another restless, hollowed night tossing and turning in his bed, he sees the entire conversation in a different light.

Realistically he should probably be focusing all his mental energy onto Kobayashi 's plan to overthrow an entire spy agency, but instead he starts the day in the same way he ended the last one; an endless spiral of thoughts that all inevitably lead to Satoru.