FANFICTION

SPY X FAMILY

Guiding Star

CHAPTER III : Cocoon of Love

For a sixteen years-old young woman (fifteen years-old but no one knew the truth but her parents) who had just witnessed the horrifying act of a man jumping off the rooftop, the body landing in broken pieces at her feet, Anya was relatively well.

Eden Academy had shut all activities for the afternoon following what was already referred as the 'incident '. The students had been sent to their dorms, the chauffeurs and caretakers for the ones living outside the academy had been called to collect the children. Police had been called and an investigation had started to determine the exact circumstances surrounding the unfortunate event. Anya, Damian, Becky, Ewen and Emile, and a few more students who had been very close to the 'incident ' were required to remain in the infirmary. They were checked by the nurses and doctors of the academy, especially Anya who, according to all witnesses, had been just a

hair away

from the falling body.

The parents had been called to be warned of what had occurred and Becky 's caretaker had already collected her. The poor girl couldn 't stop crying and sobbing. Anya had comforted her the best she could, but what could she really do after such a scene?

Emile and Ewen also left, so did the other students, and so it was only Damian and Anya left. They had been told to

rest

.

As if she could sleep after such a thing.

She turned to look at the white curtain. She knew Damian was lying just on the other side, so still and quiet she could believe him asleep, but she didn 't have to read his mind to know the truth. After the initial shock, other painful memories had been brought up by seeing a man fall to his death

almost

at his feet.

'Sy-on boy? ' she whispered to the curtain.

No answer. No movement.

She was about to open her mind to read his thoughts, as bad as it was, when the curtain was pulled open.

Damian stared at her from his bed, hands joined on his stomach. He had a very serious expression on his face, as if he was annoyed at her. But she knew it wasn 't aimed at

her

.

'Are you okay? ' she asked.

He frowned even more, and this time, she almost startled when he directed his deep green eyes on her.

'You almost died, Anya. '

She blinked. Somehow, it hadn 't occurred to her until now that, indeed, one step closer to the hallway and she would have been crushed by the man.

'I 'm okay. ' She said, and she meant it.

She had seen worse.

I 'm only worried about you

, she added to herself.

Damian didn 't say anything, but he didn 't look pleased by her answer. It was as if he was silently scolding her for not being more frightened, more shocked, more shaken ' She couldn 't help it, and she started reading his thoughts. They immediately slammed into her mind.

If anything had happened to her, I could never live with myself. He had been so close, he could have hurt her so badly.

I

was so close, and I didn 't do anything. It all happened so quickly, there was so much blood. Just like father. What will Demetrius say? What did I do to attract so much misery and death around me? She doesn 't deserve to witness such a thing, a sweet and innocent person like Anya, if only she had been spared, if only I could have done more, if only I could DO more! What should I do? What can I do? I 'm so useless, I 'm so helpless, I 'm such a failure!

'Damian, ' she interrupted in a gasp.

Calling him by his name instead of the usual nickname shocked him enough that it interrupted his spiralling line of thoughts. And like his gaze, his entire attention zoned onto Anya.

'It 's okay, ' she continued with tight lips, 'It ' it wasn 't ' we didn 't do anything wrong. It just happened. It was ' bad luck ' bad place, bad time. '

'Bad luck ' ' he muttered, looking up at the ceiling.

I almost lost her too '

Anya swallowed, desperate to find the right words.

The door slammed open, and Anya jumped upwards, her self-defence reflexes polished enough to react instinctively.

'Anya!! '

She let out an immense breath of relief to see her parents. She hadn 't realised how shaken she had truly been until Loid and Yor Forger engulfed her in their arms, holding her tightly.

'The academy called to tell us what had happened! What a horrifying event! Are you okay?! ' Her mama asked, checking her quickly.

'I 'm fine, mama, ' Anya answered, breathing in her strong cinnamon perfume.

'Are you sure you 're okay? ' Loid asked, a hand on her shoulder.

'I 'm completely fine, just a little tired. '

'You can tell us everything later, if you want to talk about it, ' Yor said with an encouraging smile.

Anya glanced at her father who was smiling reassuringly, and she caught his thoughts. He answered her silent question.

I haven 't found anything suspicious yet. Stay focused Anya. We 're with you.

She smiled back at him. She knew that the moment he 'd hear about a professor dying at the academy, her father would pull his old habits of spy to find out the truth.

'Let 's go home, ' Yor said, putting an arm around her daughter.

Anya got up and followed them towards the door, but before she 'd exit, she turned around to look at Damian who was now sitting up on the bed, staring at the family.

'Sy-on boy, are you ' '

Are you okay?

He glanced up, to look at her, then nodded.

'I 'll just go back to my dorm and study a bit to catch up on our missing classes, ' he answered as if it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do after witnessing someone 's death.

'What about your ' '

Anya didn 't finish the sentence and a terrible weight pressed on her heart. Discomfort. No, worse.

Guilt

.

She looked down, very aware of her parents ' embrace and comforting presence. When Damian wouldn 't have hoped to see his father even if he was still alive. Perhaps his mother would come, or his older brother, Anya was aware they had grown a little closer since their father 's murder '

'I 'll call my brother to tell him what happened, not that it can change anything. ' Damian said, standing up with a casual shrug.

He probably already knows. What will I tell him? Should I mention Anya? That she 's safe? He doesn 't even know her, he wouldn 't care ' Does he even care that I was there? Did he try calling me already? No, the nurses would have said so ' Maybe he 's busy. Yeah, he must be '

Loid wasn 't a mind-reader like his daughter, but he was an expert at catching people 's emotions on their faces. He turned towards the young man with a smile:

'Damian, right? ' he said, even if Anya was aware that her father was only

pretending

to be doubtful, 'If you need anything, don 't hesitate to call us. Do you have our house phone number? I don 't know if Anya told you but I 'm a psychiatrist and I will be glad to help you out if you need anything. This sort of events can lead to serious trauma and consequences, especially at such a young and impressionable age ' '

Damian glanced up at the man, looking a little suspicious.

Anya grimaced. She knew her father was doing it out of good intentions, he genuinely wanted to help the young boy after everything that had happened. After all, Twilight was part of the reason of Donovan Desmond 's death ' but she hated the way Damian reacted to him. To a stranger. To good intentions. As if he was scarred from goodness and didn 't want to interact with anyone nice.

'Thank you, but I 'll be fine, ' Damian answered with a smile.

One he had practiced times and times again over the years, one he had mastered, one that was a lie. A good enough lie that it even fooled the master of lies himself.

Oh, I suppose that after everything he 's been through, this isn 't enough to throw him off,

Loid thought.

Still, I 'll need to keep an eye on him.

'Papa, ' Anya intervened.

'Ah, yes, darling, let 's go home. Damian, I 'll leave my phone number to your housemaster, if you need anything ' don 't hesitate. '

'It was good to see you again, Damian, ' Yor said with a smile.

They left the infirmary, talked very quickly to Professor Henderson who insisted that Anya could talk to him about the trauma that was sure to occur after such an event, and the Forger family quickly left the academy grounds.

'Damian is growing up to be a handsome young man, ' Yor commented as they entered the family car.

Anya looked outside the car window, insisting to herself that her flushed cheeks were only caused by the sunlight and definitely not her mother 's remark.

'Mmm, ' Loid answered, far less enthusiastic on Damian 's handsomeness, and what it could potentially imply.

'And the Imperial Scholar cape looks ravishing on him, don 't you think, Anya? ' Yor continued.

'U-uh, ' she mumbled.

'Mmm, mm. '

'And he has such good manners, staying with you so you wouldn 't be alone after what had happened! '

'What do you mean? ' Anya asked, turning back towards her parents as her father started the engines.

Yor looked over her shoulder, blinking in surprise.

'Well, he lives at the academy 's dorms, right? He doesn 't need to wait for his family to come pick him up. Why else would he stay at the infirmary but to keep you company then? '

'Perhaps he was injured, ' Loid suggested with a shrug, giving a quick glance at the mirror to look at his daughter.

If he noticed her blushing and distracting herself by watching the landscape, he didn 't comment on it. He didn 't even

think

about it.

'I didn 't notice any blood on him, ' Yor disagreed.

'Of course, we can count on you to find any injury, internal or external, in a single glance, my dear, ' Loid answered with a smile.

Yor chuckled lightly. Anya bent forward, ignoring her parents ' weird flirting habits:

'Papa, did you try to find out what happened? No one would tell me what had really happened, and I didn 't get to interrogate the police! '

'I would advise you against it, Anya, ' Loid answered immediately, 'It would only raise suspicions if a young girl of the academy showed any interest in a man 's death. Especially considering you are the main witness. They would expect you to want to forget as soon as possible. What happened exactly? '

'I couldn 't tell ' I was just standing on the grass and then, he suddenly fell at my feet ' It was so fast. It was so ' loud. '

Yor sent her a compassionate glance. She held out her hand and her daughter immediately took it, finding comfort in the warm hands.

'A human body makes incredible loud noises when breaking apart. We look so soft, but we are so breakable. '

'I disguised myself as a police officer but nothing suspicious was found. ' Loid continued calmly, 'There was no sign of struggle on the body, and apparently, the police officers found a suicide letter written by the man ' I believe he was your biology professor, right? '

Anya swallowed. She didn 't remember the bloody face, but she vaguely remembered having heard the man 's identity. Being aware that she had known him had remained a faraway thought, tucked away.

'We were supposed to have an exam this afternoon. ' Was all she could say.

'Oh, my poor darling, I 'm sorry, ' Yor said, squeezing her hands to give her some comfort.

'He always looked sad and stressed but ' '

'Suicide seems to be the main lead from the police, but I will investigate further. ' Loid concluded.

Anya paused, staring at her parents as they glanced at each other in a knowing way. They couldn 't read minds, and yet, they always effortlessly worked together.

'I thought you had given up being a spy, papa? ' Anya said in a hushed voice.

About six years ago, with the end of Mission Strix, the Forger family had had to face two things: the revelation of all their true identities, and what to do after the mission that had brought them together. But they had chosen to stay together, to remain a family, and so WISE had accepted for their agent Twilight to retire. Mostly. And Thorn Princess had put down her weapons and poisons ' unless she was trying to cook something for her family.

'I have, ' Loid confirmed, 'But I will not ignore such events when my beautiful daughter could have been terribly hurt today. I want to make sure there is no danger to you, or any of your classmate. '

'Or teacher, ' Yor added, 'If that poor man 's death wasn 't a suicide, or an accident ' '

'Then someone is targeting Eden 's professors. But why? They 're not the ones with influence, it 's the children who do! ' Anya replied.

'Don 't worry, Anya. It won 't be easy but try to forget about what happened today and keep enjoying your school life. '

'Especially now that you are in high-school, you have to create lots of good memories with your friends! You won 't get a second chance for this time of your life! ' Yor exclaimed.

Don 't be too eager to create too many memories

, Loid thought to himself, momentarily forgetting that his daughter could read his mind.

'Papa! '

'What? '

'I heard you! '

'I didn 't think you 'd listen! You usually turn off your mind-reading when we 're together! '

'A man died today at my school, of course I 'll listen to your spy-expert-thoughts! '

'That wasn 't a spy-expert-thought! '

Their playful banter was interrupted by Yor 's chuckle, and their arrival at home. The moment they walked through the door, Bond happily welcomed Anya, barking to share his worry for her after having had a vision of what would happen, but too late to warn her after she had left for school.

'I 'm fine, Bond, thank you! '

Anya stayed with her best friend at the entrance of the apartment until she heard Yor 's cooing voice from afar:

'Oh my darling! I missed you! '

'It was only for a few hours, ' Loid said but Anya could hear the smile in his voice.

'I still missed you, my beautiful rose! '

'She was adorable as always, unlike her father, ' Uncle Franky said.

Anya joined the rest of her family, smiling despite herself when she saw Yor holding her baby sister in her arms. Soft light-brown curls and bright blue eyes like her father, Rosaura was babbling happily to see her mother. Rosie caught sight of Anya and giggled, raising her arms to be carried by her older sister.

Anya took a step forward but stopped, suddenly aware of the dried blood on her shoes. She made sure not to look down.

'I ' uh, will go take a bath ' '

'Oh, of course, we 'll start preparing dinner, ' Yor answered with a smile.

Anya hurried in the bathroom. She took off her clothes with more speed than usual. An unexpected disgust had slithered into her veins, against her skin. She needed to take it all off, to burn it if necessary. She could never wear these clothes again and not remember the smell of the blood. The blood and the ' brains. She slipped into the hot, almost boiling water of her bath, and buried her face against her knees. She could hear the crunching sound, the breaking of the bones. Again and again, on replay in her mind, like a faulty movie when the TV didn 't work well.

She started rubbing against her arms, her legs most of all, under her nails, her hair. She hadn 't even touched the body, the blood hadn 't even stained her feet, but she couldn 't handle the thought of a single speck on her.

She felt dirty, she felt tainted, she felt guilty all over again. Just like the night she had seen Donovan Desmond, lying in a pool of his own blood. The blood that had soaked through her shoes. The blood that had followed her on every step that night, until her shoes had been thrown away by her panicked father.

And so, for the first time in six years, she repeated the mantra that had kept her sane that night and all the ones after.

'I am fine. I did not cause Donovan Desmond 's death. Papa didn 't cause Donovan Desmond 's death. Mama didn 't kill Donovan Desmond. The war didn 't start. Damian is fine. I am fine. I did not cause Donovan Desmond 's death. Papa didn 't cause Donovan Desmond 's death. Mama didn 't kill Donovan Desmond. The war didn 't start. Damian is fine. I am fine. I did not cause ' '

Her voice turned into a whisper, her panicked heartbeat calming down a little.

She cleaned herself again, thoroughly. Until her skin was red and scratched. She got out of the bed, got dressed, and went directly into her bedroom. The curtains were drawn, and it was already dark from the night.

She ignored the faraway sounds of her family cooking, and slipped into her bed, hugging her chimera toy.

She clenched her eyes, hard. Hard enough to see stars. And the stars lulled her to a restless sleep.

She woke up several times that night. Once when her parents brought her food but letting her sleep off the shock. Another time when her mother came to check on her.

Anya startled awake and stared at Yor sanding in the doorway.

'Mama? '

'I 'm here, darling, ' Yor immediately said, sitting next to her daughter.

The light from the living-room was the only light illuminating her mother. Anya looked up at her beautiful, strong mama. She blinked. She sniffed the air.

'You 're not wearing any perfume, you ' '

She noticed the clothes her mother was wearing under the trench coat.

'Are you going to kill someone? ' she asked in a low voice.

She tried to ignore the way her voice shook. She had seen death today. It was horrifying. She didn 't want her mama to be the cause of it.

'No, don 't worry. Your papa and I are only going to check on the body held in the morgue. To confirm the police 's initial conclusions. We 'll be back soon, but Uncle Franky is going to stay to keep you and your little sister safe. '

'Is Rosaura sleeping already? I didn 't get to kiss her goodnight ' ' Anya asked, disappointed.

'Then, you can kiss her good morning twice tomorrow, don 't worry, ' Yor answered with a soft smile.

Yor leaned to kiss her older daughter good night but Anya interrupted her with a question:

'Did you ever get used to it? '

She didn 't need to clarify for her mother to understand what she meant. Yor smiled sadly.

'Unfortunately ' yes. I got used to it. To death. But it doesn 't mean

you

have to ' '

She brushed her fingers against Anya 's cheek, and she felt cocooned in love and protection. Yor bent down and kissed her forehead.

'Try to sleep, Anya dear. We 'll see you at breakfast. '

'Be safe ' '

'Always. We 'll always come back to you, Anya. '