FANFICTION

SPY X FAMILY

Guiding Star

CHAPTER VII : The Heavy Price of Getting Distracted

Anya was making her way through Eden College 's halls, to pick up some additional readings from the library. She slowed down when she recognized two silhouettes in front of her, discussing while walking slowly.

What were Damian and Professor Dunkel doing together?

Immediately suspicious, Anya started following them at a safe distance. She couldn 't get within hearing range without getting caught.

They stopped and turned towards each other, she jumped behind a pillar. Glancing from over her shoulder, she noticed the professor smiling to Damian, patting his shoulder. Then, he turned around and left the young student.

Anya stared at him go away before slipping around the corner. Damian looked up just as she appeared, and he froze.

'Where did you come from? I didn 't see you arrive, ' he mumbled.

'I was right there! What were you talking about with Professor Dunkel, that you didn 't even notice

me? '

she asked in a light teasing tone.

He flushed, half of embarrassment and shame, before answering abruptly:

'None of your business! '

He turned away and entered the library. She followed him and he glanced over his shoulder suspiciously.

'What do you want, Forger? ' he asked in a hushed voice.

'I 'm here to pick up books, ' she answered in the same low tone.

He narrowed his eyes but when they arrived at the librarian 's desk, it was quickly confirmed that they were both there for the same reason. Piles of books were pushed forward, and they each picked their owns before moving towards a nearby table. They ended up sitting together, although they didn 't quite realise they had done that until they were settling down for an impromptu study session.

They glanced at each other, then ignored each other, opening their books.

Except that neither could focus on what they were reading.

'Why did you sit here, Forger? ' he mumbled after many, many minutes of useless reading.

He made sure to keep his voice low, as was the rule in the library.

'I just sat there. No particular reason. '

And it was true. They had come in together, picked up their books together, they had unconsciously moved together towards the nearest table, like a couple dancing the night away. It was only dawning on them

now

that they were stuck together. Unless one of them moved to another table, but both were far too proud to admit defeat.

' 'There 's another table over there. Go mind your own business, ' he continued after a pause, eyes stuck to the page.

'If you want to be on your own so badly, you can go there yourself. ' She answered, head lowered towards her textbook with the same intensity.

'I sat there first. '

'No, we sat down at the same time. We just happen to share a table. '

'Mmggrr ' '

Anya tried to focus on what she was reading, but it was beyond herself. She couldn 't help it. She glanced up, a twinkle in her eyes.

'That 's an interesting sound you just made ' Could it be that I 'm too much of a temptation for you to be around me? '

Damian gasped, blushing suddenly. And here he had thought he had been controlling his cheeks. What a fool,

as if

he were in any control when Anya Forger was around.

Listening to his line of thoughts, Anya chuckled, amusement rippling through her. She covered her mouth with her hand to smother the sound and not be caught by the librarian.

Damian looked up at her, gritting his teeth, but the moment he saw her, looking so adorable and sheepish, his heart missed a beat.

'Shut up before we get caught '! ' he hissed as low as possible.

'Sorry ' ' she murmured but her eyes shone.

He kept staring at her, but his shoulders fell, and his expression turned from annoyance to worry.

'I haven 't seen you smile like that in a while ' ' he admitted, 'Have you been okay? '

Anya blinked, stunned that he would have noticed her low mood. Not knowing how to handle his attention, this deep gaze that stared at her without hesitation, as if he could stare into her soul ' It always made her feel like she was stumbling down a cliff with no wings.

'Can I be honest? ' she murmured, joining her hands together in a rare show of nervousness.

'Always, ' he answered without hesitation.

She glanced up, stunned by these words. The greatest focus was engraved on his face.

She

was his greatest focus.

'I don 't know what I want to do after graduation ' ' she admitted in a hushed voice, as if scared that anyone but Damian would hear.

He opened and closed his lips. He hadn 't expected such a thing. He hadn 't expected

Anya Forger

of all people to hesitate about

anything

.

'Do whatever you want to do, it 's simple, ' he answered but it felt wrong on his tongue, like the bad after taste of an overly sweet lie.

She lowered her gaze, disappointed. Damian hated seeing her like that and he couldn 't help the way his body reacted. He reached out to cover her petite hands with his.

'Hey, whatever you 'll want to do ' you 'll be brilliant at it. You wouldn 't be the only other Imperial Scholar of Cecil Hall otherwise. '

She looked up at him once more, her eyes shining a little. Then, a small smile pulled on her lips.

Damian felt a strange sensation over his cheeks, as if he was pulling a face ' it took him a moment to realise he was smiling. A real smile. One that was so foreign on his face, it made him wonder.

They were both suddenly aware of their proximity, of their hands enclosed into each other. But they didn 't let go, and their gazes remained anchored.

I should let go, it 's been too long, it 's awkward ' I shouldn 't touch her hand like that when I know she doesn 't like me '

He made the slightest, slowest, most hesitant movement to let go of her hand, but Anya moved. Her hand turned around so their palms met and she entwined her fingers through his.

Damian held his breath.

I don 't understand, I don 't understand, she doesn 't ' she doesn 't like me ' She pulled AWAY from me at the last dance?!

Anya swallowed hard, a crimson tinge slowly taking over her cheeks. She tightened her lips, desperate to make him

understand

'

'Do you remember what happened during last summer 's dance? ' she asked in a hushed voice.

Damian 's blush increased, baffled that she 'd know it had been

exactly

what he had been remembering.

'I ' the reason why ' I ' '

She blushed furiously, embarrassed by her stumbling words. Her eyes teared up and his heart hurt for her.

'Stop it, ' he interrupted, surprising her, 'I hate it when you cry, ' he mumbled, detaching his gaze from her.

He tried to let go of her hand again, but she held on. Tightly, almost painfully. It brought his attention back on her.

'No, I just wanted to tell you ' it 's not what you think! '

'W-what? ' he hesitated, blinking, still blushing but that was a constant of his life whenever Anya Forger was around. The sun rose in the east, and he was a blushing mess.

'I-I 'm not sure what you think happened but ' I didn 't want you to leave that night ' ' she whispered.

A glistening tear, like a fallen star, rolled down her cheek but she didn 't seem to notice. Damian did.

Half-gasping, half-breathing for her and only her, he leaned forward to clarify what she meant '

A heavy, dictionary sized book suddenly landed between them. They startled, away from each other, their hands finally letting go.

The librarian was looking down at them darkly.

'I forgot this book you asked, Mr Desmond. ' She said with a tone cold with reprimand.

She raised her glasses a little bit higher on her nose. They shone in the dim library light in a vaguely threatening way.

Damian had never paled so fast.

'T-th-thank you, ' he said and to his great shame, his voice had gotten high-pitched and squeaky.

'Mmm. '

She stared down at the two of them, glancing between the two teenagers.

'May I remind you that it is forbidden for students to '

flirt

and

frolic

on academy grounds? Should I report it to Professor Henderson? '

'No, not at all, we know, we

weren 't

' '

His voice trailed off under her stone-hard gaze. He swallowed again, blushing.

'We 're sorry, madam. '

'Mmm. '

She turned around sharply and left them alone. But now her gaze was heavy on them.

Damian and Anya excelled at avoiding looking at each other for the next seconds. Many, long seconds.

She eventually looked up, but he stood up abruptly. He gathered his books and notebooks in a hurry and left without a word.

Anya opened her lips to call him but stopped at the last moment. She immediately threw her hands to the sky, cursing silently and stomping her feet down in the quietest tantrum to be.

Damian glanced over his shoulder just in time to see her pout and crunch her nose. She buried her face in her arms and he felt mildly guilty about leaving her in such a state ' but he needed to escape her presence, or he would burst into flames.

He was very much aware of the librarian 's gaze following him suspiciously as he escaped from the library.

He never walked so fast to his dorms as he did that day. He threw the piles of books on his bed without any regard to their well-being, then he threw unceremoniously the Imperial Scholar cape off his shoulders. His jacket followed. He pulled at his tie and his shirt 's buttons in frustrated, sharp movements. Then he just laid down on the floor.

Half-dressed, out of breath, his body on fire from embarrassment, shame and

hope

, a fierce, burning

hope

he didn 't know how to handle, he just lied down on the floor like a sad starfish.

'I didn 't want you to leave that night. '

What do you MEAN?!

He thought to himself, but his own inner voice was loud and furious ' at himself, and a little bit at the librarian too

. We were having a MOMENT, I almost KISSED you, and you pulled AWAY! What am I supposed to think?! What do you mean you DIDN 'T want me to leave?!

A loud, strangled scream of rage and annoyance escaped him. He threw his arms and legs around like a petty child.

Once he was done, he just stared at the ceiling, aware of two things: firstly, he had never behaved in such an unrefined manner. Secondly, he was desperately in love with Anya Forger and he would damn himself with the very fires of hell itself if it meant he could go back to that stupid night, to that stupid party, to that stupid dance, to that stupid almost-kiss ' to keep himself from being stupid

again

.

***

Anya and Damian went back to ignoring each other. Or so almost everyone in their class thought. They weren 't

actively

avoiding each other. But between classes, revisions, after-school activities, social lives, they had very little free time and unconsciously, without even talking about it outloud, they both decided to not discuss the events surrounding the dance and the library for a couple of simple reasons. There was no way they could discuss it without the risk of anyone overhearing them. There was no way they could discuss this without the risk of making what could fall into the category of 'mistake '. Terrible, Tonitrus-bolt inducing mistake, life-upside-down mistake.

And so, the few days of awkwardness turned into weeks of their usual tip-toeing around each other. They didn 't say anything to each other unless it was their usual banter and teasing, although it was charged with more

electricity

than before, according to regular witnesses (AKA, their classmates). There was no more silly attempt at being

discreet

when one or the other, or the two, stared at each other for what was estimated by regular witnesses (AKA, their classmates

and

professors) FOREVER.

All witnesses agreed that Anya Forger and Damian Desmond, after a decade of puppy crush and requited love they didn 't seem to wrap their heads around, that those two were becoming more and more obvious in their feelings for each other.

It didn 't stop the few foolish young ladies who hoped to attract

The

Damian Desmond 's attentions (they were quickly turned down) or the few brave young men who thought that Anya was pretty and interesting (she cared so little about their attentions that they all gave up fairly quickly).

'Today 's practice will be against Wald Hall! ' Ewen exclaimed as they all entered the gymnasium.

'Ugh, I hate sports against Wald Hall ' ' Emile mumbled, shoulders dropping.

'I don 't see how they 're any different from anyone else. ' Damian shrugged.

'Only

you

would say that, Boss-man ' After all, that 's the class with ' '

'FORGER!! '

Everyone startled, except Anya herself, at the booming voice of Bill Watkins as he, and Wald Hall class, walked in the gymnasium.

'Hi Bill! ' She exclaimed, waving cheerfully at one she considered a friend at Eden.

'Today, I 'll win again! '

'I believe

I

won last time, though~! '

'Not today! I 've trained in the past three weeks and

never again,

you will defeat me!! '

At that, Bill laughed, eager to prove himself.

As some students were catching up with one another, others started the warmup under the attentive gazes of their P.E. professors. Once everyone was attentive and had warmed up, they were gathered.

'Today, we have decided on a friendly series of volleyball matches. Let me insist on the word

friendly

! '

The more competitive ones cheered anyway, the less athletically inclined ones, on the other hand, shivered at the idea of facing either Bill Watkins

or

Anya Forger.

'To motivate everyone, the two losing teams will be in charge of cleaning up after everyone. And the two winning teams will receive a special treat from the kitchen! '

It made even the less enthusiastic cheer up a little bit. The other consequence was that everyone cluttered the most athletic ones until the professors declared they would be deciding on the teams ' line-ups. The teams were quickly made: eight in total, four from each hall. The volleyball warm-up started, the sound of balls sounding all around the gymnasium louder and louder as the students motivated themselves.

A bright laughter attracted Damian 's attention. He turned around, barely grunting when the ball Ewen had thrown at him landed against his chest. He stared across the court at Anya, who was grinning beautifully as she pulled her hair up in a ponytail. It swung around in the most adorable way possible. His heart missed

two

beats.

'OI, Boss-man! '

He startled, turning around to look back at Ewen who had picked up the ball back. He stared at his friend.

'Yes? What is it? '

He sounded grumpier than he intended. Ewen just sighed and rolled his eyes, used after a decade of this silly behaviour.

'We 're competing against Anya 's team first, will you be okay? '

'Of course! What are you even talking about?! ' Damian mumbled, grabbing the volleyball.

'I mean ' we all know what you 're like around her. '

'I 'm perfectly fine and sane and normal around her!! ' he exclaimed in a tone that implied he was very much not fine, nor sane, nor normal around her.

Ewen didn 't look convinced, and Emile intervened:

'I

am

serious about this competition, Boss-man. Free treats!! We

cannot

lose!! '

'Who said anything about losing? ' Damian mumbled.

The P.E. teacher blew in his whistle and all the students went onto their courts to start the matches. Damian glanced quickly, across the court, to Anya who stood proud and confident on the opposite side of his. She caught his eye, which startled him, and she grinned widely with a wink.

Blushing, he quickly looked away, swallowing hard, unaware of his teammates ' unimpressed gazes.

The match started easily, everyone slowly getting used to playing the different formations after a long time without playing volleyball. Spikes and blocks flew around, and the points were added quickly.

Then came the moment when Damian and Anya faced each other.

'I won 't let you get any spike past me, Forger, ' he mumbled, just loud enough for her to hear.

'Not with my Mama 's new killer technique! ' she answered with a grin.

He couldn 't help it and grinned back, thrilled by the challenge.

The ball flew over the net a couple of times before the setter threw it for Anya. Damian got ready to block, mirroring her moves but at the last moment she whipped around. The three blockers struggled to keep up with her impressive reflexes. Damian was the only one who managed to jump in time. Anya looked shocked he managed to divert her spike. But the ball wasn 't out yet and it was played again between the two sides of the court.

The next opportunity Anya had to spike though, Damian ended up freezing. He saw her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, the sheen of sweat over her forehead and he just

froze

. As she jumped up, high enough that she seemed to float, all he could see were the elegant muscles on her lithe body. Her legs were entrancing, and he could guess the way her abs were drawn in the way her shirt floated just a little.

'DESMOND! '

'JUMP!! ' someone screamed behind him.

Damian started, reacting quickly to catch up after his terrible distraction that, he just

knew

, would haunt him in his sleep. But by the time Damian jumped, Anya had spiked, and the ball went full-force into his face.

With a scream, he fell back on the floor and let himself fall on one knee, one hand to his face.

'DAMN IT, FORGER! ' he screamed through the pain.

'I 'm sorry, Damian! I swear that for once I didn 't do it on purpose!! ' she exclaimed, crossing under the net to check on him as the P.E. teacher came quickly.

'For

once?! '

he repeated, looking up to glare at her.

But her concerned look softened him so quickly that a violent dizziness took him. He wavered forward and she caught him by the shoulders. His head fell forward and the sudden proximity had them both freeze and stare at each other 's sweaty faces.

'Let me see! ' The professor exclaimed.

Anya pulled away, to Damian 's great irritation which only increased when he realised that he should

not

feel annoyed when she pulled away after she

almost

killed him with a spike.

'Thank goodness, it 's not broken this time! ' the professor sighed in relief.

'This

time?

How many noses did you break playing volleyball, Forger? ' Damian mumbled as Ewen gave him a tissue to stop the blood.

'Only

once!

Bill broke

three

fingers in that match! '

'Because neither of you could calm down, ' Becky commented from the side-lines.

A crowd had gathered to watch the pathetic fall of Damian Desmond, sitting on the floor while he was bleeding.

'Let 's just get you to rest for the rest of the session today. Miss Forger, perhaps you should hold back a little more when playing, mm? ' the professor said.

'I 'm so sorry, Sy-on boy, ' she muttered, leaning down to help him up.

He instinctively grabbed her hand as she pulled him. His head must have been worse than he thought because he lost balance and stumbled forward, following the momentum she had given him. Anya squeaked when they almost fell chest-to-chest. She stared up at him and he realised how much taller he was.

'You have no right to be jumping so high when you 're tall as a chipmunk, ' he mumbled, still bleeding against his hand.

'

You

have no right to have legs tall as a tree, ' she replied, without detaching her gaze from him.

And they stared at each other. And another wave of dizziness took over him.

Anya felt him waver and tightened her hold on his hand before gently guiding him towards the nearest bench. He didn 't have time to breath that she brought him a water bottle and more tissues.

'Is there anything else you need? Did you hurt anything else? ' she asked.

And then, she did the unimaginable: she knelt down, in front of him, between his legs, eager to help. Damian 's whole body tightened so suddenly that he accidentally pressed his fingers on his painful nose. He squeaked in pain and leaned over.

'Damn it! '

'I 'm sorry! ' she exclaimed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

'Stop touching me! ' he hissed so she was the only one to hear him.

'Miss Forger, we 'll take it from there, you can finish the match now, ' the professor announced when he came back with ice to put on Damian 's nose.

She went away, occasionally glancing back at Damian who was slowly but surely recovering from his bleeding nose. Recovering from the way she made him feel though, that was an entirely different problem he had been hopelessly facing for a decade.

As if sensing his line of thoughts, Anya glanced back at him, a soft blush on her cheeks. Some sort of quiet, heavy understanding, floated between them. Perhaps it was the way his nose throbbed, and his head spun, but for the first time, Daman didn 't bother looking away. He certainly blamed the dizziness.