-8-

Mouth

Erwin awoke the next morning to discover he was spooning behind Levi, arms wrapped around his narrow ribcage. It took him a moment to remember being ordered to bed the night before, but when he did, he smiled to himself. Levi acted tough, but beneath it all, he was caring.

The room was bright, the sun illuminating the curtains; they must have slept through reveille. There was still a mountain of paperwork to do, and his bladder was full, but he couldn 't bring himself to move away just yet. He stroked Levi 's chest with his fingertips, acquainting himself with the soft smattering of chest hair. Levi stirred, shifting back against him, and he was so warm that Erwin 's hips rocked against his will.

'You awake back there? ' Levi asked, voice groggy. 'Or just dry-humping me in your sleep? '

Erwin cleared his throat. 'I 'm awake. It looks like we slept through reveille. '

'Screw reveille. We were both going on leave today, anyway 'unless you decided to do more paperwork instead. '

'I should probably take a break. I 've been told I 'm a workaholic. ' He nuzzled the back of the narrow neck, then began to trace a slow figure-eight with his tongue.

Levi gave a shuddering breath and edged back against him. 'If you want something, Erwin ' '

He did want something: he wanted to sink his teeth into Levi 's neck, pull down the thin layer of cloth between them and thrust into him. The mental image was so powerful that his eyes squeezed shut.

You promised yourself you would move slowly.

Well, maybe sex was off the table for now, but there were other options.

He slid his palm down the muscled abdomen, then lower, overtop of the waistband. As he rubbed the strained fabric between Levi 's legs, he heard a soft groan. This was something he had forgotten about having a male partner: thanks to physiological responses after sleep, morning lent itself well to intimacy.

'Fuck, ' Levi whispered, tilting his hips into the grip. Erwin felt a sympathy wave of arousal so strong that his eyes rolled back into his head. He firmly slid his hand back up to the waistband, preparing to plunge beneath it this time.

A knock sounded at the door. 'Erwin? Are you in there? ' called Shadis ' voice.

'Fuck, ' Levi muttered, and Erwin marvelled at his ability to get so many different meanings out of a single word.

Fuck, indeed.

It was tempting to pretend he wasn 't in, but Shadis was scheduled to return to his post with the trainees, so this would likely be their last opportunity to speak for several months. Retracting his hand, Erwin threw off the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

'Ignore him, ' Levi whispered.

'I can 't. He 's leaving today. ' Louder, he said, 'One moment please, Keith. '

Levi muttered a slew of curses as he sat up. 'Fine, I 'll hide. But you 'd better worry about hiding

that.

'

Erwin looked down and saw the size of the bulge in his pants. Gritting his teeth, he strode to the closet. He stripped off his pyjama bottoms, then pulled on a pale blue dress shirt and his uniform pants, struggling to close the fly. He fastened the brown skirt of his uniform as well, letting it fall loosely in front of his groin to try to disguise the bulge. Erwin turned to see Levi staring at him, wide-eyed, and realized he had just given him a show.

It 's not as if he 's never seen me change before,

he thought, but changing in a roomful of colleagues was different than changing after spending the night in each other 's arms.

He strode to the door. In his periphery, he saw Levi step into the closet.

'Sorry for the wait, sir. ' Erwin opened the door, then saluted.

'At ease. ' Shadis was wearing a long jacket, a travelling bag in his hand. 'You weren 't at breakfast, so I thought you 'd left early to go on leave. Glad I managed to catch you. '

Erwin could feel Levi 's presence in the closet, burning a hole in his mind; his eyes kept trying to dart in that direction, even though the motion would probably make him look suspicious. 'My apologies; I had a bit of a long night. '

'Understandable. Care to walk me to my carriage? '

Heading outside was probably a good idea. The further he was from Levi, the less suspiciously he would act.

As they began to walk down the hallway, Erwin said, 'The next-of-kin documentation went out in the post this morning, and I 'll have my formal reports ready in time for my arrival at the Capital. Thank you again for all your help. '

'Of course. Do you have everything you need from me? '

'I believe so, yes. If I have any questions, I 'll send a messenger to the training barracks. ' He hesitated. 'I started drafting up the documentation for my incident with Mike. '

'What? ' Shadis shook his head. 'Leave that off the books. '

'Sir? '

'I won 't breathe a word of it, and I doubt any of your troops will, either. Better that the brass doesn 't have anything to hold against you later. ' Shadis smiled at him. 'You 're going to be one hell of a Commander, Erwin. Just remember what I said about your humanity. Keep your head, but keep your heart, too. Find that balance point. '

'I 'll do my best. ' Erwin absently touched his wounded eye. It didn 't hurt as much now that a couple of days had passed, but he could still feel it: a reminder that he was capable of tipping the balance too far in either direction.

They arrived in the courtyard. An elegant carriage waited for Shadis, far nicer than the ones that usually transported the Survey Corps, and Erwin raised an eyebrow. Apparently the Trainee Corps had money to spare.

Shadis clapped a hand on his shoulder. 'Take care, son. '

'You too, Keith. ' He gave one last salute, then Shadis stepped into the carriage.

Erwin watched as the carriage left the gates. Now he was formally in control of the Survey Corps, with no mentor watching over him, no one to keep him in check if he pushed too far. Any restraint would have to come from within. Like his personal life, pushing too quickly could cause complications: he had to take it slowly. There were plans to be executed, but not until he had all the pieces aligned, and that could take years of careful arrangement.

Sometimes, he envied people like Hange, who lived their lives with a reckless disregard for self-control. Ever since Erwin had been a little boy, he had lived a life that was deliberate and planned.

What had Levi said during their drink together? That Erwin couldn 't trust people, so he controlled them instead? He had hit the nail on the head with that one.

And I trust myself least of all.

When he returned to his room, he found the closet door wide open. Levi was nowhere in sight. He frowned, disappointed, but decided it was just as well: they had errands to run. His stomach was growling, and he had his heart set on breakfast at his favourite pastry shop in town.

He pulled off his shirt and grabbed a towel and toiletries, heading to wash up.

Levi was in the bath, washing himself; his hand paused when he saw Erwin enter, but then he continued washing, acting as if there was nothing between them. Other soldiers were milling around, so Erwin did his best not to ogle. Selecting the sink nearest the bath, he began to lather his shaving cream.

' 'Morning, ' Levi said, his tone disinterested.

' 'Morning. ' Erwin studied himself in the mirror as he applied the cream. His split lip was already healing, but the black eye was turning a brilliant shade of red-violet. There was no way he was going to be able to hide it for the gala. He 'd need to create an interesting story about how he had earned it. And a short one, because he 'd likely be telling it many times.

Levi dunked under the water to rinse himself, then stepped out of the bath. Erwin 's eyes briefly slid sideways, taking in Levi 's dripping naked form. Visions of tracing that body with his palms, his tongue, were so vivid that he closed his eyes for a moment to steady himself.

Take it slowly, take it slowly '

With exaggerated focus, he leaned closer to the mirror and began to shave.

'Hey. Erwin. '

Levi stood beside him, wearing only a towel.

'Yes, Levi? ' He carefully kept his eyes on his reflection.

'You eat breakfast yet? '

'Actually, I was thinking of stopping by a pastry shop for something a bit nicer than our usual fare. ' He rinsed the blade. 'You 're on leave today too, right? Would you care to join me before you head out? My treat. '

Levi 's eyes darted to the side, as if he were gauging the distance to the other soldiers cleaning up around them. 'There was a thing or two I wanted to take care of before I left. '

'Nothing that can 't wait, I 'm sure. It 's a beautiful day outside, and I 'd like to get out before the crowds start to clog the sidewalks. I 'll meet you by the gates in ten minutes? '

His eyes narrowed. 'Fine, ' he muttered, then he turned and left.

Erwin finished shaving, then returned to his room to change his clothes. He swapped out the military pants and skirt for a pair of brown pants and black boots. As he walked toward the main exit, he rubbed a hand along his bare neck. He wasn 't even formally a Commander yet and he already felt naked without the pendant.

Levi was leaning against the gate post outside, his arms folded over his chest. He wore a simple grey collared shirt and black pants, his cravat tied at his throat.

'For a man so brilliant, you really are stupid, ' Levi said, pulling away from the gate to greet him.

'What do you mean? ' Erwin unlatched the gate and let Levi through, then closed it behind them.

As they began to walk along the cobblestone, Levi 's voice dropped so that no one would overhear: 'When I said there were a few things I wanted to take care of, I was hinting I was horny. '

'Ah. ' Erwin felt his cheeks warm. 'I 'm only human, Levi. I have a few blind spots. You may find you have to be rather aggressive to get through to me. '

'So I 'm supposed to take it slow, but be aggressive. '

It was a fair point. 'I 'm not making a lot of sense, am I? '

'No. ' Levi edged closer, walking so closely next to him that their arms were touching. Erwin found himself deliriously weighing the risks of holding hands 'were they far away enough from the base to have anonymity in the crowd? 'then realized it didn 't matter. Risks aside, the height difference between them was so great that holding hands would require awkward contortion.

He found himself wondering how that height difference would translate into other contexts.

It will certainly make sex against a wall a viable possibility,

he thought, and the vision took root in his mind. He caught himself glancing down a dark alleyway as they passed, envisioning them secretively fucking against a shadowed wall. His teeth clenched. He really should have taken a private moment to take the edge off before they met up, because he was still worked up from the unexpected interruption earlier .

'I want you to understand, Levi, ' he said quietly, 'my failure to pick up on your hint wasn 't for lack of wanting you. '

Levi glanced up at him. 'I know. I felt how hard you were grinding against my ass this morning. '

Erwin 's mouth went dry.

Enough.

There was one place in town private enough for them to hide away and blow off some steam, and they would have a few hours to kill while their suits were being tailored. He silently added the new destination to his mental list of the day 's errands, hoping they had the willpower to wait until then.

He led them to the pastry shop, a quaint stone building on a corner with large stained-glass windows. Blooming flowers hung at even intervals from its roof, lovingly tended by one of the owners. Inside the shop, protected by glass cases, were trays of flaky pastries prepared with fruit and cream. Levi 's eyes widened as he looked over the assortment.

'You could feed an entire family dinner for the cost of one of these, ' he said.

'Look at this as a celebration for our promotions. The tea assortment is excellent as well. ' Erwin selected a flat pastry with sliced apples spread on its surface and ordered a pot of floral tea. After a few more minutes, Levi chose a butter tart with a thick crust. Erwin paid, and they settled into a small table in the corner. Levi sat with his back against the wall, his eyes darting to the door each time someone entered, as if sizing up the newcomers.

I wonder if he knows he 's doing that,

thought Erwin, flattered that a man so instinctively guarded had chosen to trust him.

'I didn 't realize we were going on a date, ' Levi said dryly. 'I would have brought flowers. '

Erwin smiled and poured him a cup of tea. 'Not necessarily a date. I 've brought others here before with no romantic intent. I enjoy the opportunity to have a little treat now and then. '

'Is this what your life would be like if there were no titans? Getting fat on sweets and tea? ' Levi carefully cut a chunk out of his tart with a knife and fork.

'I can 't even begin to imagine what life would be like if there were no titans. Every choice I 've made in my life has been contingent on their existence. No, more than that: every choice I 've ever made for others, and every choice that has ever been made for me. '

Levi swallowed, then washed down the bite with a sip of tea. 'So, what will you do when they 're gone? '

The question made Erwin pause. He took a careful bite of his pastry, chewing it as he considered. 'I don 't expect that to happen during our lifetimes, ' he said finally. 'We 're laying the foundations for future generations to win the war. '

'I think we 'll be the ones to destroy them. You 're fighting with purpose to get to the bottom of the titans, not just scrambling to survive; once we know what they are, we can exterminate them. So what will you do when that happens? '

Erwin was flattered by Levi 's confidence. He knew the words were oversimplified, and more than that, he didn 't expect either of them to live to the end of the battle. They were too important to the cause, too front-and-centre; men in their roles did not survive war. His heart twisted.

I wonder which of us will die first.

'

If the war is won, ' he said aloud, 'the Survey Corps ' objective will shift to establishing new colonies outside the walls and maintaining peace. I would be honoured to help oversee that process. '

'That 's it? ' Levi asked. 'Politics and peacekeeping? No settling down in a little house in the country? '

'Well, maybe a bit of that, too. If I had someone to settle down with. '

Their eyes held for a moment, then Levi looked down and took another sip of tea. For a few minutes, they ate in silence. The crisp pastry melted on Erwin 's tongue in a gradient of flavours: fruit, then butter, then honey. Food of this calibre was a rarity this far from the Interior, and he savoured every bite of it.

Across from him, Levi dragged his fork across his empty plate to collect the remainder of the filling. 'That was pretty good. '

'I 'm glad you enjoyed it. ' Erwin settled back in his seat, clasping his teacup with both hands. 'So what about you, Levi? What will you do when all this is over? '

'I don 't know anymore. ' Levi mirrored his posture and took a sip. 'I guess if you 're going to oversee settlement or anything like that, I 'd help out if I could. '

'You wouldn 't prefer to find a nice girl, settle down and start a family? '

'Never been interested in girls, and I 've got all the family I need. ' Levi looked into his teacup, swirling the liquid. 'I told you, Erwin: where you go, I 'll follow. '

A lump was forming in Erwin 's throat. He cleared it. 'I 'm not sure what I did to earn your loyalty, but I 'm grateful for it. '

'You were smarter than me, ' Levi said bluntly, looking up at him. 'You 've proven again and again that you see an inhuman number of steps ahead of every situation. I bet you 've already figured out exactly how and when this war will end. '

Erwin gave a small, humourless smile. 'I have my theories. '

'But you aren 't going to share them. '

'It 's better that you don 't know. '

Levi stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and drained the rest of his tea. 'Where to next? '

'The general store is on the way to the tailor. ' Erwin stood. 'I believe I owe you some soap. '

'All right, but let me pick it out, okay? You 'll probably get the wrong one. '

'I thought you said I was smarter than you. '

'About strategy, not cleanliness. I 've seen your office. ' Levi 's eyes twinkled, and the corner of Erwin 's lips lifted.

Fair enough.

The general store was just down the street; it was a frequent destination for Survey Corps soldiers due to its proximity to the base. As they stepped into the store, Levi turned toward the soap aisle. Erwin followed, picking out his shaving cream, razors and other toiletries. He hesitated for a moment at the erotic lubricants section, then glanced at Levi, who was busy squinting at a shaving cream label.

It 's going to happen sooner or later.

Might as well be prepared.

Erwin reached out and grabbed a bottle of erotic oil, hiding it in his palm.

'I just need to grab one more thing, ' he said to Levi. 'I 'll meet you up front when you 're ready. ' The only response was a distracted nod.

Erwin made one last stop at the tool case at the back of the store and spoke to the man at the counter. The man eyed him for a moment and then, recognizing him, surreptitiously handed over a small bundle from beneath the counter. Lock picking tools. They would have come in handy during the last mission; it was a waste for someone with Levi 's talents to travel unequipped.

Levi was waiting for him at the cashier, a bottle of soap in hand. The cashier began to slide their purchases across the counter as she tallied the total. As she slid the erotic oil into view, Levi turned to Erwin with a raised brow.

'It 's good for dry skin, ' Erwin said, deadpan.

'Your skin doesn 't look dry. '

'Well, I 'd hate to be caught without it if I ever needed it. '

'Hm. ' Levi turned away, his cheeks reddening.

They left the store in silence, making their way down the street to the tailor. Erwin 's face was burning, his mind swimming with images of all the ways they could play with the oil. He tried to calm himself down as they approached the tailor 's shop, letting his mind fill with boring thoughts like fabric types and suit cuts.

The tailor was a husky man by the name of Olivier with dark curly hair and a handsome grin.

'Mr. Smith, ' he cried, striding forward. He clasped Erwin 's hand and shook it with great enthusiasm. 'It 's good to see you. And you 've brought a friend. '

'This is Levi. ' Erwin glanced down at his companion, who had his arms folded over his chest, an uncomfortable scowl on his face. 'We 're in need of suits for a gala in the Interior. '

'Oh, wonderful. ' Olivier paced around them, looking them up and down. 'I have a suit that will look great on you, Mr. Smith. As for your friend, he 's so tiny that we may have to dig into the children 's collections, but I believe ' '

'What? ' growled Levi.

Erwin dropped a hand on his shoulder to steady him. 'Olivier, we don 't need to know what collections the suits are from. Just bring us something that will fit. Levi is a great hero to humanity, so please make sure he looks the part. '

'Of course, Mr. Smith, ' the tailor said with a broad grin.

'Asshole, ' Levi muttered as the tailor departed. 'Erwin, how much is this bullshit going to cost me? '

'It 's an extension of your uniform. It will be covered for you. ' Erwin didn 't mention that he planned to pay for it out of his own pocket, but by the suspicious look Levi gave him, he was certain he saw straight through him.

Olivier returned with a suit for each of them, rambling about their fashionable attributes. Once they tried them on, he pinned the fabric in several places to demonstrate how they 'd fit once they were tailored. Levi looked handsome in his tight-fitting dark grey suit, but he looked down at the price tag on the sleeve and scowled.

'Don 't worry about the price, ' Erwin said.

'We could feed an entire family for a month with this much cash, ' Levi growled, 'and we 're going to spend it on shitty suits to impress the fat bastards who 're living off the backs of the starving? Fuck this. ' He pulled off his jacket and dropped it on the floor. Olivier gave a shocked cry and hurried to retrieve it.

Erwin studied Levi for a moment, gauging his size. He had access to an old suit that might fit him with a little alteration.

Turning to the tailor, he gave a polite smile. 'I 'll take my suit with its alterations please, Olivier. We 'll explore other options for Levi for now. '

'Of course. ' The tailor 's smile was strained. 'I can have that ready for you by four o 'clock. '

They changed back into their regular clothes and Erwin settled the fees, then cocked his head at the door, signalling that it was time to leave.

When they stepped outside, he said, 'I wasn 't aware you were so opposed to spending money on fashionable clothing. '

Levi smoothed his cravat. 'Only when it 's for the wrong reasons. '

'Are you going to be okay at this gala? '

'I 'll be good, if that 's what you 're asking. ' Levi looked up. 'Where are we going now? '

'A few more blocks down the road, ' Erwin said. 'I know where we can find you a suit, but I 'm going to need your help getting in. '

Levi gave him a blank look.

Reaching into his bag, Erwin pulled out the bundle that contained the lock picking tools. 'A gift for you. ' He hadn 't expected them to be useful so soon.

Levi unrolled the bundle. His pace slowed as he stared at the tools. 'Erwin, ' he said suspiciously.

'Don 't worry, the home you 'll be breaking into is my own. I didn 't think to bring along the key. The neighbours don 't really know me, so I 'd recommend discretion while you work. ' He was looking forward to seeing Levi 's skills in action 'mostly because he wanted to size them up for a future plan, but partly because, as much as he hated to admit it, the idea of Levi breaking the law was a bit of a turn on.

'So you 're taking me home on the first date? ' Levi shook his head. 'I thought we were taking it slow. '

'I have an old suit that might fit you. I wore it when I graduated from the Trainee Corps. ' Erwin watched him, waiting for a reaction, and he wasn 't disappointed; Levi cast him a withering glare.

'No damned way you were my size when you were fifteen. '

'Seventeen 'I joined up a couple years later than most. And yes, I was a late bloomer; I didn 't hit my growth spurt until I was almost eighteen. '

'I 'm still waiting for mine, ' Levi muttered. It was the closest he had ever come to joking about his height, and Erwin glanced at him, surprised. Height had always seemed like a sore spot for him.

There was a long silence as they shifted into single file, winding their way down a particularly busy street. When they fell into step together again, Levi said quietly, 'Does it bother you? '

'What? '

'My height. '

'No. Truth be told, I find it attractive. Why? Does my height bother you? '

Levi shrugged. 'It 's going to make some things difficult. '

'Like holding hands. '

The grey eyes narrowed at him. 'I meant in the bedroom. '

Erwin cleared his throat, realizing how na 've he must have sounded. 'Nothing a few pillows can 't overcome. Besides, we can get creative. There are several positions that only work with a sizable height difference. I have a few in mind we can try. '

Their gaze held, and he realized they were discussing sex as casually as if they 'd been together for years. His face burned; he was certain it must be beet red.

'This is all backwards, ' Levi muttered, blushing as well. 'You won 't even let me touch your dick, and we 're already planning how we 're going to fuck. It 's like a business contract. '

'It 's good to plan ahead, ' Erwin said.

'Of course you 'd say that. You probably have our whole timeline mapped out on paper. ' Levi shook his head. 'It 's okay to be spontaneous once in a while, you know. A relationship isn 't a battlefield; acting on an impulse won 't kill you. '

The words sparked something to life within Erwin, a playfulness he had long ago suppressed.

Very well.

His eyes did a quick sweep of the area. Seeing they were in the clear, he grabbed Levi 's arm and yanked him several paces sideways into an empty, narrow alley.

'What ' ' Levi began, but Erwin dropped his bag, grabbed his shoulders and threw him against the wall. Their mouths met in a long, deep kiss. He felt Levi 's groan rumble through his jaw, felt strong hands claw into his ass.

He tore his mouth from Levi 's and moved to whisper in his ear: 'I 'd like to remind you that it was my spontaneous kiss that started this madness, and my spontaneous hand-hold that continued it, and I promise you, neither of those were planned. '

Then, his point proven, he pulled away entirely and bent to retrieve his bag.

For a moment, Levi stayed flat against the wall as if stunned; his eyes were wide, his lips still parted.

'Shall we proceed? ' Erwin asked, secretly proud to have thrown him off.

'Shit, ' Levi said, and he finally pulled away from the wall, brushing at his shirt. 'You 've got a bit of an ego on you, don 't you? '

'What do you mean? '

'Every time I insult you about something, like jumping onto the roof or being spontaneous, you have to try to prove me wrong. I wonder ' ' Levi cocked his head at him. 'Bet you 're too chicken-shit to jerk me off right here in this alleyway. '

Erwin smiled, enjoying his deadpan humour. 'Subtle, but I 'm wise to your wily ploys, Levi. Besides, I can think of nicer venues than a dirty alleyway. '

'Fine. Then lead on. '

'Not much further now. ' After that kiss, Erwin was glad they were getting closer to refuge. He had only meant to catch Levi off guard, but his plan had backfired; now his thoughts were running away on him again, too.

They rounded a corner into a residential district, and Erwin slowed.

'There. ' He pointed at a single-story row-home, its entrance barely visible in the shadows. 'The brown door. Do not allow anyone to see you enter. '

'No problem. ' Levi began to approach the house from the sidewalk, his hands in his pockets. He gave a glance up and down the street, then walked straight for the door and pulled a tool from his pocket; a glint of silver, and the door opened. He stepped inside.

Erwin scanned the area to make sure no eyes were on him, then casually strode to the door and opened it. Levi stood in the room, arms folded over his chest.

'That 's it? ' Erwin asked.

'You 'd be amazed to learn how easy it is to break through any door. Locks are more of an honour system than actual protection. '

'That 's disconcerting. ' He closed the door behind him and locked it. 'What about doors in a military building? Similarly easy? '

Levi squinted, as if trying to read him. 'Maybe a bit trickier, but not by much. We used to break into Military Police bunkers all the time. '

'Good. ' Before any questions could come up, he changed the topic: 'Welcome to my home. This is where I come when I need to hide from the world. '

Levi did a slow spin, and Erwin took it in through his eyes. The wooden room was large enough to contain a bed, a desk, a wardrobe for his belongings, a small stove and an icebox, with very little room to navigate between each of them. A door on the left wall, closed, led to a small bathroom. Inside the bathroom was his one luxury: a hand-pump shower. It took a good deal more work than a bath, but left him feeling cleaner, and sometimes, especially after expeditions with high body counts, he desperately needed to feel clean.

The shower was sure to impress his cleanliness-obsessed guest, but as he was about to give a tour, he caught sight of an unmarked envelope on the floor. Someone must have slid it beneath the door. He bit the inside of his cheek, knowing there was only one person who could have delivered it.

I told her not to contact me here.

As he bent down to retrieve it, Levi stepped into the room and ran a finger along the surface of the desk. 'This place is small. ' He rubbed his fingers together. 'And dusty. '

'It meets my needs, ' Erwin said absently. He retrieved his letter opener from the desk, then slit the envelope open. 'There 's a feature in the bathroom you might like. Feel free to take a look. ' He pulled out the letter and unfolded it, scanning the elegant script:

'

Erwin,

'The city is abuzz with news of your upcoming promotion. Commander of the Survey Corps? Disgraceful. I always prayed for you to come home, but not under such distressing circumstances. Your mother weeps for you every night 'she pretends she doesn 't, but I hear her, and it breaks my heart; it should break yours, too, if you have any feelings left at all. If you won 't abandon your sacrilegious path, at least be man enough to tell her why you betray us. '

He felt a throbbing twitch in his eye. As casually as if the letter was an unwanted advertisement, he tore the paper down its centre and dropped it in the garbage bin.

'Bad news? ' Levi asked. Erwin looked up to see him frozen with one hand on the bathroom doorknob, watching him.

He gave a polite smile. 'No, just annoying clutter. Sometimes shopkeepers drop flyers in my mail slot. '

One of Levi 's brows furrowed. 'It looked like there was a Wallist crest on it. '

'The butcher down the street is rather devout. ' It wasn 't a lie, exactly, just an unrelated truth. Erwin moved to the wardrobe and pulled open the door. 'Here we are. ' He pulled out a black suit. The collar was a little too high for current fashions, and the fabric was a bit cheap, but it was serviceable.

Levi accepted the hanger, his fingertips sliding along the collar as he held it up against his body to compare. 'You 're shitting me, right? This has to belong to an ex-boyfriend or something. There 's no fucking way you were this small when you were seventeen. '

'Ask Mike. He was a full foot taller than me for most of our training; used to use my head as an elbow-rest. ' Erwin shook his head. 'You wouldn 't have recognized me back then. I was an awkward teenager 'nose too big for my face, enormous feet, cracking voice. '

'Couldn 't have been that awkward. You said you were with a woman while you were training. ' Levi pulled the jacket over his shirt. He sniffed. 'You wore the same cologne. '

'I did, and yes, I was with someone 'I can 't tell you what she saw in me. Half the trainees were in love with her. She ended up marrying a friend of mine, and they 've done quite well for themselves. ' Erwin stepped forward to straighten Levi 's collar. 'The sleeves are a bit long on you, but the fit across the shoulders is good. Try on the pants, too. '

Levi pulled off his boots, setting them neatly by the entrance, then undid his belt. He dropped his pants and stepped out of them, and Erwin 's eyes trailed the muscular thighs and calves. He wanted to rub his palms along them, feel the wiry hair, kneel between them '

Focus.

He glanced at the wall, waiting.

'They actually fit pretty well. ' Levi took a couple steps in place, tugging at the fabric to test its give. 'Bit tight in the crotch. '

'They were a bit short on me, so I thought they might work. ' Erwin looked him up and down. The suit accentuated the taper between Levi 's upper and lower torso, and hugged his muscular thighs.

'Well? ' Levi did a slow spin. The fabric was tight against his ass. Erwin took a long, deep breath. They were locked away from sight, they had a few hours to kill, and he couldn 't be the only one slowly going mad from lack of contact. Surely it would be okay to give in to his lust for a little while.

Stepping in, he caught the slender jaw, bending down for a deep kiss. Levi pulled away to give him a withering look.

'You creep, I 'm dressed like your kid self. '

'I never saw myself in it. ' Erwin went for his neck instead. 'All I see is an athletic man in a tight suit. ' He nipped at the skin beneath Levi 's ear; his palms slid aggressively down Levi 's sides, then his hips.

'You 're going to wrinkle it if you keep that up. '

'It needs to be pressed anyway. ' Erwin felt dizzy, high on their proximity. He used his tongue to trace a meandering line up to Levi 's earlobe, where he rumbled, 'I 've spent the whole morning thinking about what I want to do to you. '

'Fuck, ' Levi breathed, his hip muscles tensing.

The unconscious reaction gave Erwin bravery. He pulled back to look him in the eye. 'I 'm going to undress you and lay you down on the bed, and then I 'm going to explore your entire body with my mouth. ' He hadn 't intended to push things so far this soon, but his body 's ache was once again drowning out his logic. He waited for Levi 's reaction, heart pounding in his throat.

Levi stared at him with wide eyes. 'Okay. '

They kissed again, and Erwin unbuttoned the suit jacket; he tossed it over the desk chair, then began to unbutton the dress shirt beneath it. Levi groaned into his mouth and reached for Erwin 's collar.

Erwin caught his wrist. 'Just you. '

'I don 't want to be naked by myself. ' Levi leaned in again, nipping his lower lip. 'I won 't try anything unless you ask. I just want to see you. '

The fog of hormones and damp panting breaths and racing heartbeats made it difficult to think straight. Erwin released his wrist, and they began to unbutton each other 's shirts.

When they were both topless, he crushed Levi against his body, feeling the warmth of skin against skin. Levi 's hands curled into his back, clawed into his flesh, and he felt his eyelids flutter shut. He needed to be closer, needed to be closer 'he walked Levi back to the bed and pushed him onto it, then dropped on top of him, grinding him into the mattress. Levi rolled him over with surprising strength, and their mouths locked, their hips rocking.

This is too fast,

thought Erwin, and it wasn 't at all what he had planned, but he didn 't want it to stop. He raked down Levi 's back, and he grabbed Erwin 's hair in response, pulling hard.

'Fuck, ' Erwin growled, the word breaking their kiss. Levi jerked his hair, tugging his head back, opening up his throat; he felt a warm tongue trace either side of his trachea. Their legs intertwined, and Levi 's foot slid along the shin of his pants, stroking him with his toes. The sensation was oddly familiar '

Erwin froze as a memory crashed over him: he and Henrik on this very bed, rolling and laughing on its surface, their feet rubbing playfully together, Henrik 's toe trailing down his shin '

'Hey. ' Levi released his hair. 'You okay? '

'I ' ' It took several blinks to clear the intrusive memory from his mind. 'My apologies. I 'm okay. '

Levi watched him for a moment, then rolled off him. 'Here. You lead. '

Touched by his consideration, Erwin nodded his thanks. 'Sit at the end of the bed. '

Levi obeyed, and together they pulled off his pants and undergarments. Erwin untied the cravat last and set it aside, and then it was just Levi sitting in front of him, nude and beautiful. Erwin knelt between his legs and slowly rubbed his hands along Levi 's arms. This was a position of worship, and he intended to pay homage to this contradiction of a man, to the surprising strength in the small body, to the caring nature beneath the crass exterior.

Their eyes locked. Levi 's jaw was quivering, his chest rising and falling with quick breaths. Erwin leaned forward to press a soft kiss into the centre of that chest. He could feel the pounding heartbeat beneath his lips, could smell Levi 's raw scent. He felt himself throb in response and decided this would be a good time to take off the rest of his clothes, before his pants became too uncomfortable.

He stood and unbuttoned his pants, then slid them off his bruised hips. There was nothing between them now 'no clothes, no ranks, no politics. They had been naked together before, but never in such an intimate context. The honesty of it was humbling.

His groin was at Levi 's eye level, less than half a metre from his face, and Erwin could feel the faint breeze of breath on his skin. Levi stared, then slowly his eyes rose to meet Erwin 's, as if asking permission. Erwin swallowed hard. He wanted to step forward into that mouth, so badly that he ached, but he forced himself to kneel down instead.

He had promised to explore Levi 's entire body, but he could already tell that Levi was struggling to restrain himself, so it seemed cruel to tease him much longer. Erwin began to kiss along his thigh instead. Levi 's hands tightened into the quilt, and he was so quiet that Erwin wondered if he was holding his breath.

Slowly, his kisses moved closer to the centre, the hair getting thicker, the scent getting stronger, heat wafting from the skin in a layer so thick that it was almost tangible. He nuzzled soft, wrinkled flesh, and Levi let out a low curse. Here, he could taste Levi 's scent, amplified and warm; it mingled with the familiar scent of a man 's groin, and also a third element that was completely new, completely unique to this area of this man 's body. Shivers ran down Erwin 's spine and settled in his tailbone, and he let out a quiet moan.

Levi shifted. 'Stop sniffing my crotch, you pervert, ' he said, voice strained.

'I can 't stop. You smell so good. ' Erwin 's voice cracked. He began to trail his lips higher, barely skimming the skin, breathing in. As he approached the tip, his tongue made contact, then began to drag.

The groan that sounded in Levi 's throat was so unchecked, so vulnerable, that Erwin 's eyes fluttered closed. He ran his tongue in a slow circle, teasing.

'Fuck, ' Levi gasped, and he tilted his pelvis, trying to thrust deeper.

Erwin gripped his hips, locking him firmly in place.

Not yet.

Still shallow, he released a long, hot breath, then inhaled deeply, playing with air currents.

'Fuck! Erwin, please ' '

He delivered a soft kiss to the tip and then looked up, delighting in Levi 's desperate expression: brows pinched, jaw loose, eyes closed. 'Please what? '

'Please ' your mouth ' '

He felt Levi 's hands rake into his hair, twisting, pulling, but not pushing down. It shouldn 't have been a surprise that Levi would be respectful even in such an intimate situation, but Erwin still found himself noting it anyway.

He has good manners.

His tongue traced another circle, and the hands in his hair tightened.

Gradually, working up and down, he began to take Levi into his mouth, then throat. With each movement, he listened to Levi 's catching breath, felt the hip muscles twitch wildly beneath his fingertips. Each hint of appreciation made his head swim. He felt as if he were the one receiving the attention, not giving it. When he finally pushed all the way to the base, Levi cried out, and Erwin echoed him with a muffled cry of his own.

Part of him wanted to enjoy this first exploration for hours, discovering every taste and scent and texture, but instinct began to drive him forward. His hand rose to join his mouth, and he fell into a steady rhythm. His ears strained for aural cues, using them to adjust his tempo.

Levi gripped his hair hard enough to hurt, goosebumps erupting across his skin. His legs wrapped around Erwin 's body, his toes curling into Erwin 's calves.

He 's close.

Not quite ready to end things, Erwin slowed his pace, then released him to nuzzle and explore with his tongue again. His partner 's cries were starting to blur together, curses and begging, and it was so hot, so hot, Erwin 's groin ached. He was tempted to push things further, to stand up and thrust into Henrik 's mouth, just once '

Henrik?

His stomach dropped. The room began to tilt.

He looked up and saw Levi 's face, felt his toes on his calf, Henrik 's toe sliding along his calf as they rolled on the bed, Henrik 's toes black and stiff and flames licking along them, the scent of burning flesh still in Erwin 's hair no matter how many times he washed it, Henrik 's ' Levi 's dead hand clawing for him from the funeral pyre, Levi 's head cracking between the titan 's teeth '

The world heaved; he stumbled backwards, gasping for air.

Levi 's eyes snapped open. 'Erwin? '

The word echoed, distorted, wrapped around Erwin 's lungs. 'Excuse me, ' he rasped, and he staggered to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The reflection in the mirror was wide-eyed and white. A corpse, he looked like a corpse. Darkness tightened around him like a noose.

What the hell is this?

he demanded of himself, feeling as if he were outside his body, watching the scene play out

. You were done mourning him. You were hanging on to a ghost of a memory. You 've moved on.

He breathed slowly in and out, trying to regain control of his renegade lungs, but they betrayed him, his breath escaping in a quiet sob.

With shaking hands, he filled the basin and splashed cold water on his face. He rubbed his eyes hard, the wounded one smarting, and he welcomed the pain, using it to try to ground himself.

There is a trusting, beautiful, aroused firebrand of a man waiting out there for you, and you 're fucking it up.

Get out there and fix this.

He took a deep breath and held it, willing his racing heart to slow.

Levi shoved a hand through his hair, eyes on the closed bathroom door. He wasn 't sure what to do. Knock on the door? Wait for him to come back? Dress and leave?

Erwin 's expression was frozen in his mind: he had looked up at him in utter fear, as if he had been a stranger 'no, worse than that. As if Levi had been the face of death. He tried not to take it personally. After all, he had promised patience, and setbacks were to be expected. He tried to remember how hard it had been to start being intimate again after his first boyfriend had died.

But he

was

taking it personally. That one terrified look seemed to bring to life all his fears about being insufficient:

He saw through me

.

He regrets me.

'

Dammit. ' He rubbed the bridge of his nose. Most likely, the best thing to do was give Erwin some space. He would pull on his clothes, and slip out the door, and they could talk about this later, when they had both had time to process everything.

Before he could move, the bathroom door opened, and Erwin stepped into the room. His eyes were dull, his skin pale, and a damp swath of hair was plastered to his forehead.

He looks like shit.

Levi 's hurt feelings dissipated, concern taking their place. 'You okay? '

'This isn 't fair to you, Levi. I can 't ask you to put up with my baggage. ' Erwin sounded tired, his voice cracking.

Levi cocked his head to the side, an invitation to sit beside him. Erwin swallowed hard, then joined him, the bed shifting with his weight. Their thighs were almost touching, their hands close, almost identical to their postures the night they had held hands for the first time.

If I reach across and hold his hand right now, will it be comforting, or pressuring?

He erred on the side of caution, folding his arms over his chest instead. 'You haven 't been with anyone since Henrik died, have you? '

'I have, ' Erwin said, but the word ended on the wrong tone, as if there were more to it, and Levi read between the lines:

I 'm the first dick he 's had in his mouth since then.

It all made sense now. Erwin still associated giving head with Henrik, and nothing since then had given him any reason not to, so he had inadvertently stirred up forgotten memories. Levi felt a pang of compassion. Once, when he was much younger, he had been in a similar situation, only he had handled it with far less grace. His partner at the time had patiently helped him heal. Now it was his turn. He wasn 't sure how to help, exactly, but he would try. Trying to comfort Erwin was probably a good start.

He turned and pulled the covers down, then crawled into the bed and held out a hand. Erwin hesitated.

'Trust me, ' Levi said. 'I won 't try anything. '

After a moment, Erwin clasped his hand.

Levi pulled him into the bed, then guided him to curl up on his side, pulling his head down to rest on Levi 's chest. Once they were settled, he pulled the covers over them and wrapped his arms around his Commander in a gentle hug 'not too tight. He didn 't want him to feel trapped.

'I can hear your heartbeat, ' Erwin said, sounding more like a frightened boy than the mastermind of humanity 's future. He shifted his cheek against Levi 's chest, as if settling in. 'My memories are blurring. I keep superimposing your face onto Henrik 's death. '

'You hear my heart, right? ' Levi said. 'It 's still beating. '

'I can 't trust my own mind. '

For someone who was constantly analyzing everything around him, being unable to trust his own mind must be hellish. Feeling protective, Levi tightened his embrace.

'You asked me if I was replacing Henrik with you, ' Erwin continued. 'How can I say I 'm not if I 'm confusing the two of you in my mind like this? If I reach for your name and get his, or if I reach for his memories and get you ' ' He trailed off.

The statement surprised Levi, because it indicated a lack of experience with serious relationships; otherwise, Erwin would understand that memories, faces and names sometimes blurred when one relationship ended and another began. He had expected Erwin to be a confident lover with dozens of long-term love affairs under his belt 'a handsome man with such a dominant air would have no trouble finding a partner.

It 's by choice,

he realized, remembering how Erwin admitted to putting his mission above all else.

He chose titans over love, every single time. Except Henrik. Except me.

He gently combed the blond hair, trying to soothe him. 'It 's normal to mix up faces and names at first. It 's not the same thing as replacing someone. People get used to patterns, and it takes awhile to adapt to a new one. That 's all it is. '

'So you 're saying this is going to happen again, ' Erwin said quietly. 'I 'm going to keep getting confused and flash back to worse times. '

Levi wasn 't sure how to answer. More than that: he wasn 't sure how that made him feel. He had always thought of Erwin as someone above him, someone who had mastered his mind and body. It was disconcerting to see him so undone, especially knowing their intimacy was what had triggered it.

They lay there in silence, Erwin 's head on Levi 's chest, Levi smoothing his hair. After several minutes, in unspoken unison, their free hands drifted toward each other and intertwined. It felt natural, one large hand and one small, their fingers so easily fitting into the spaces between the others '.

That 's how we work,

thought Levi.

We fit together. We 're both screwed up in some ways, strong in others, and our strengths fit each other 's weaknesses.

He wasn 't sure if that was love, or just the fondness that came with a close professional partnership, or both, but whatever ran between them, it was deep enough that it would take more than one panicked incident to shake Levi 's confidence.

Decisively, he pressed a kiss into the golden hair. 'How are you feeling? '

There was a pause. 'Ashamed. '

'You still have my patience and my respect, Erwin. I want you to know that. '

Erwin rolled onto his stomach to study him, settling his hands and chin on Levi 's chest. 'Thank you, ' he said solemnly.

Neither of them looked away, and Levi found himself drawn into the blue irises: dark perimeters, pale blue fibres that darkened again toward the pupils. He felt as if he were standing by the edge of a lake on a sunny day, staring into the bottom, the textures accentuated by rippling beams of light.

Tentatively, he reached out a hand and smoothed a blond eyebrow with his thumb. The brow was taller than his thumbnail, so thick that it felt more like wiry dog fur than a human brow; it tapered to a sharp point too soon. The abrupt sharpness complemented the strong curve of his nose and the severe cheekbones. When Levi had first spotted Erwin swooping through the city with his gear, he had likened him to a bird of prey.

The blue eyes searched his. 'Levi, am I pushing my luck if I try to kiss you after everything I 've put you through today? '

'Go ahead. '

Erwin shifted up the bed to close the gap between their faces. The motion brought his body onto Levi 's, and Levi suddenly remembered they were both naked under the covers. Blood began to rush to his cheeks and his groin, and he cursed himself. Getting turned on now was inappropriate.

Erwin, however, seemed oblivious. Their lips pressed innocently together. When he pulled away, his eyelids were low, and there was colour on his cheeks. A lock of blond hair was still loose on his forehead; Levi reached up to smooth it back into place. All this eye contact was giving him an idea.

'You know, Erwin, ' he said, 'if you 're ever worried about getting confused about who you 're in bed with, you just have to keep your eyes on me the whole time. It 's not like you can get mixed up if you 're watching me. '

'That 's a good idea, ' Erwin said, sounding intrigued.

Levi shrugged it off, but he was already picturing Erwin between his legs, sharp gaze boring through him, unrelenting, and he was shocked by how much the idea turned him on. His breaths began to accelerate; he had been close to orgasm twice already that morning without getting off, and his body wasn 't letting him forget it.

Knock it off,

he told himself.

Do you want him to have another panic attack? Don 't even think about pushing too fast.

He stretched his legs, hoping the motion would release some of the restless energy building in his muscles.

Erwin studied him. 'When I was first learning to ride a horse as a boy, I had a bad fall. As soon as I was well enough, my father tried to encourage me to start riding again. He told me that the longer I waited, the more my mind would exaggerate the risks, making it into an insurmountable ordeal. I wish I had listened. After that, I couldn 't so much as look at a horse without panicking, until I joined the Trainee Corps and was forced to learn to ride. '

Levi tried to read him and, as usual, failed. 'Why are you telling me this? '

'I feel like leaving things on a sour note now would encourage a needless rift to build between us, one that would be harder to overcome if we waited. '

'You want to try again? ' Levi asked, not sure he was understanding.

'You must be quite pent up by now. I 'd like to try a little something with the oil I bought, if you 're comfortable giving me another chance. ' There was a vulnerable crack in Erwin 's expression, a little crease by one eyebrow.

'Okay, ' Levi said casually, as if his heart wasn 't thudding in his chest. 'Keep your eyes on me the whole time. '

The vulnerable crease smoothed, and Erwin forward for another kiss, deeper this time. Then he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and bent down, digging through the shopping bag on the ground. When he returned, he had the small bottle in his hand. He lay on his side, and Levi did the same, facing him. He watched as Erwin pooled oil in his broad palm.

'You 'll be okay, ' Levi said, half statement, half question.

The sharp eyes locked onto him. 'While I 'm doing this, Levi, I want you to look at me. I want to see your face. ' His gaze was intense, almost intimidating.

Fuck, that 's hot.

Levi bit the inside of his cheek, meeting his gaze head-on.

A slick hand caught him off guard, gripping him between the legs. He tilted his head back and cried out.

'Levi, look at me, ' Erwin said.

Stunned by the authority in his voice, Levi obeyed. When he had suggested eye contact, he hadn 't meant to tip the control completely in his partner 's favour. He felt a surge of rebellion: no one ordered him around, especially in bed.

But he should play along for now. Control was comforting for Erwin, and under the circumstances, he certainly needed to feel safe.

Besides, Levi didn 't want to admit it, but it felt curiously good to hand control to his partner, better than he could have guessed. As Erwin began to stroke him, he felt his eyes flutter, and he struggled to keep them open. The struggle was worth it just to see the hard light in those blue irises.

He looks determined, like he 's trying to conquer me

.

Power-tripping asshole.

Then Erwin shifted, pressing flat against his body. His grip changed; heat blistered between them, and it took Levi a moment to realize what was happening:

he 's jerking off both of us with one hand.

He lifted the covers to look, vaguely aware that a string of curses were slipping from his lips, but too euphoric to care.

'Levi, look at me. '

Ignoring the command, he tilted his hips to get a deeper angle, enthralled by the sight of the two of them moving together.

Fucking shit, that 's hot.

'

Levi, ' Erwin said sharply.

'Fuck you. ' The words slipped out before Levi could stop them. Embarrassed, he looked up, expecting disapproval, but he found a smirk instead. He didn 't have time to interpret it; Erwin lunged in for a deep, rough kiss. Levi bit into his tongue, wrapping a leg around him, raking a hand down his chest. He wanted to be as close to him as possible, closer, he wanted to be inside him.

Erwin broke the kiss, gasping, 'Touch me. '

That was a command Levi was happy to obey. He drove his hand between them, closing over Erwin 's, feeling the two of them slide together through their joint grip.

'Fuck! ' burst Erwin. Now he was watching their hands too, his face flushed and strained.

Panic began to rise in Levi 's chest. He wasn 't going to be able to hang on, not with this frenzy of oiled hands and tangled limbs and thrusting hips. He lunged forward and kissed Erwin hard, and their moans began to rise together.

He felt Erwin cry his name into his mouth. A spasm rippled through his body, and his toes curled, and waves of white light flooded his groin, his mind.

Then there was perfect stillness, his ears ringing.

When he finally remembered to breathe, he opened his eyes. Erwin 's cheek was on the pillow beside him, eyes closed, expression soft. Levi studied him, his entire body glowing. In a strange way, he was proud of him.

'Is there a handkerchief somewhere around here? ' He sat up to examine the damage, then grimaced. 'Disgusting. You 're going to need to wash these sheets. '

A blue eye opened. 'You can use the hand towel in the bathroom. ' The eye closed again. A moment later, Erwin 's breaths were slow and even, as if he had fallen asleep. Levi was tempted to join him. They still had a few hours to kill, and it might be nice to nap together, even if the sheets were filthy.

He carefully climbed over him. Once he was standing, he paused for a moment, watching Erwin sleep. His face looked even more handsome with mussed hair and flushed cheeks, though maybe the afterglow was tainting Levi 's opinion. The fondness building in his chest was so warm that it was almost nauseating.

Standing, he began to move toward the bathroom.

As he passed the desk, his eyes locked onto the garbage bin, where Erwin had thrown the torn letter. The warmth drained from Levi 's body. From here, he could clearly see the Wallist letterhead, and it certainly didn 't look like a business flyer.

He glanced back at Erwin and, judging that he was still unconscious, bent over and plucked the papers from the bin. The looping script was difficult to read, and as he struggled through it, his eyes widened. He glanced back at the sleeping man.

Is he a Wallist?

Has he cut ties, or is he in league with them somehow?

He thought of the fanatical worshippers, of their protests against scouting missions and staunch opposition to upgrading the walls. They were one of the biggest thorns in humanity 's side.

It wasn 't his place to judge 'if anyone understood that good people could come from bad places, it was Levi 'but he felt his heart pounding anyway.

Stop it,

he told himself

. This is Erwin Smith, the man who 'll be humanity 's key to freedom. He doesn 't have any shady motives.

Determined not to have his confidence shaken, he set the papers back in the bin, then continued to the bathroom.

His eyes went immediately to the pump shower by the tub. He had heard of the contraptions, but never seen one in person: a way to clean oneself without sitting around in one 's own filth. He was tempted to try it out, but he couldn 't figure out how it worked. Maybe another time.

After he had cleaned up, he brought a hand towel back for Erwin. Rolling the slumbering man onto his back, he mopped up his abdomen. 'There, it 's better than nothing. '

'Thank you, ' Erwin mumbled, barely conscious.

Levi crawled into the other side of the bed, then grimaced as Erwin tried to spoon behind him. 'Stop that. You 're all sticky. '

'Hm. Hold me, then. ' Erwin lazily rolled onto his other side.

Feeling a bit ridiculous, Levi pressed against Erwin 's back, reaching up and over the broad rib cage. He kept forgetting about their size difference until moments like this brought them into sharp contrast. He thought back to their earlier conversation about size differences, still concerned.

If I try to fuck him, I 'll look like a dog humping a horse.

Well, they 'd worry about that when they got to it. At this rate, there was plenty of time to figure it out.

Once he had settled in, he laid a soft kiss at the base of Erwin 's neck, and his eyelids began to grow heavier.

As drowsiness settled over him, everything seemed simpler. His worries were petty. This warmth, this closeness, was what mattered.

I don 't care where you came from, Erwin,

he thought, his eyes closing.

I don 't care if anything we do looks ridiculous, or if we have to wait a year before you 're okay with fucking, or if you need me to coax you through everything we do together, one step at a time. I will follow you.

He snuggled closer, and his lips lifted into a smile.