-5-

Return

Levi opened his eyes. Between the tree branches above him, the sky was just starting to glow pink with the sunrise. Remembering where he was, he took a moment to assess himself. His upper back throbbed, his head pounded, and he still felt off-balance. His mouth was so parched that he took a long swig from his water canteen, not worrying about rationing it; there would be more water with the horses.

His foot was numb. Further down the branch, Hange was using his ankle as a pillow. With a grimace, he retracted his leg. Hange snorted mid-snore and looked up, blinking.

He held out the canteen. 'Finish what 's left. '

'Oh. Morning. Are you well enough to move? '

'No, but it 's not like we have a choice. ' He leaned over to look for titans below them. 'Looks like your friends are gone. '

'Good. Let 's hope they don 't come back until we 're in a position to outrun them. ' Hange drained the canteen, then handed it back and stood. 'So: let 's lock down our plan. '

They spent a few minutes discussing how to best utilize the gas and, after a few quick exercises to test Levi 's balance and coordination, they decided Hange would pilot, and he would keep an eye out for titans. As undignified as it was to ride piggyback, he had to admit it made the most sense.

'Use as little gas as possible, ' he said as he climbed onto Hange 's back.

'I know. Ready? '

'Ready. '

Hange ran along the branch, waiting until it began to bow before sinking a grapple into the next tree trunk; the more time they spent on foot, the less gas they would use. At first, the trees were so close together that they were using barely any gas at all, but as they neared the fringes of the forest, the trees became sparse. He did his best to scan the environment, but his eyes weren 't tracking properly.

'Anything? ' Hange asked.

'I can 't tell. Hold up when you get to the edge of the trees. '

They didn 't even need to get that far 'once the first glimpses of the silo came into view, he could already see that the area was crawling with titans.

'Shit. '

'Yeah, I see them. ' Hange settled on a tall tree to give them a good vantage point. To Levi 's left, he could see the silo, and in front of it, an enormous crater and overturned cart. The size of the crater was so impressive that his brows rose.

'Must have been quite the blast. ' He was suddenly grateful to have survived with just a concussion.

'Yeah, I imagine the pair handling the crates were blown apart, maybe a few others, too. We 're lucky the cart gave us some cover, or we would have severe burns. ' Hange was grinning, and Levi sneered.

'Why the hell are you smiling? People died. ' He dropped onto the branch and climbed forward to look across the valley.

'Sorry, just relieved to be alive. Any sign of the horses? '

'I only see one. Looks like yours. ' The horse was facing away from them, a good five-hundred metres away. Several titans wandered aimlessly in the snowy field, blocking their path. 'How much gas do we have? '

Hange grimaced. 'Not enough to close the distance from this angle, unless we want to risk a messy landing. '

'So what if one of us goes alone, then brings the horse around for the other? '

'Still might not be enough to get that far. Think we risk bringing a swarm of titans on ourselves if we whistle for the horse? '

Levi dropped to all fours, crawling along the branch. Looking down gave him vertigo 'damn his concussion

'

but his balance was decent so long as he looked at the horizon as he moved. Once he had reached a good vantage point, he paused.

'Two seven-metre classes, one five-metre, two three-metre are all in range. If we whistle, we risk drawing them in. ' He slammed a palm into the tree branch. 'Shit! We 're so close. '

The branch bowed as Hange crept closer; he inched over to make room.

'Well, ' Hange said, 'None of them is tall enough to reach us up here, so we don 't have much to lose by whistling. If they notice us, it might even gather them together and make it easier to kill them. '

'Kill them. Without gas. '

'I said easier, not easy. Do you have a better idea? '

Levi sighed. He stuck his finger and thumb into his mouth and blew a sharp whistle, realizing too late that he hadn 't been able to wash his hands since the previous morning. He grimaced and spat off the branch several times, trying to clear the taste of sweat and leather from his mouth.

'Too quiet. ' Hange let out a shrill whistle that left his ear ringing, and he groaned.

'Right in my fucking ear. '

'Damn, still not responding. It was right next to us during the explosion 'I wonder if loud noises can damage a horse 's ears? '

He rubbed his sore ear. 'Wonder what that 's like. '

'Stop yapping. I 'm trying to think. ' Hange stood and squinted at the titans. 'They aren 't responding, either. But look at how evenly spaced they are. What if ' '

The length of the pause suggested they were about to try something truly stupid. 'Fine, go on. Say it. '

'If we leapfrog between the titans, we might be able to conserve gas. '

He stared. 'Leapfrog between them. The two of us, using one gear, with me almost completely useless. '

'If we anchor ourselves onto their backs and move between them, we can down each one as we go. ' Hange 's chin lifted in a look of superiority. 'I killed five of them by myself yesterday, so we should have no trouble finishing off that many together. I 'm telling you, these are even dumber than your average titan. They have frostbitten nervous systems or something. '

Levi gave an irritated sigh. 'This is insane. '

'Better than waiting here to die, right? Hop on. '

Insane or not, it was their best option, so he obeyed.

Not wasting any time, Hange leapt off the branch, giving a delighted noise that was somewhere between a howl and a laugh. The grapple sank between the first titan 's shoulder blades, and they swooped toward it. The dumb beast barely had time to see them coming; Hange stood on its neck and drove the blades deep into its weak point, scissoring the flesh.

The titan began to fall, and they sank a grapple into the next one.

'My turn, ' Levi said, getting caught up in the rush. As they approached the next one, he readied his position, planting his feet on Hange 's hips for leverage.

They landed on its back, and he pushed off, jumping high into the air. His mind was still playing tricks on him, trying to disorient him, so he closed his eyes, letting his muscles work by memory as he pulled into a spin. Even without the gear and the gas, he still had enough power to take out the titan 's flesh.

'Sloppy cut, ' Hange said, running up the titan 's neck to its head as it began to sink to the ground.

'Hey, I have no gear and a concussion. ' He tried to wipe the titan 's blood from his skin; it began to dissipate into steam, indicating that their platform was about to do the same. 'Next one together. Jump. I 'll grab your ankles. '

'What? '

'Throw me. '

Hange 's eyes lit up with understanding.

Together, they arced toward the third titan. As they approached, Hange 's body twisted away from the target to wind up, then spun toward it, whipping Levi forward. He dove for the weak spot head-first, his blades sinking into its neck like an arrow from a bow, and twisted, cutting a wedge out of the flesh.

Hange landed firmly beside him. 'Holy shit did that feel good. '

'You 're telling me. Your turn next. '

As they approached the next target, the gas sputtered.

'Dammit, ' Levi said.

'We 're fine. ' Hange 's gaze was focused on the fourth target. 'How close are we to the horse? '

'Maybe a hundred metres. ' The fifth and final target was only about ten metres behind the fourth 'it was still a hell of a jump to the horse beyond it. Not only that, but around them, other titans were beginning to take notice. It was only a matter of time before they swarmed. He gritted his teeth.

We 're going to run out of titans to leapfrog, and it 's too dangerous to run on flat ground.

They landed and executed the fourth target and, without hesitation, Hange sank the grapple into the fifth. The fourth 's hand fell toward them as they passed; they barely managed to dodge it with a burst of air.

Hange cackled. 'Close one! '

The celebration was premature: the gas sputtered, then gave out entirely. They began to freefall toward the last titan.

Levi gritted his teeth.

I 'm not going to die here. '

Steer us onto its back. Then we climb. '

'What? ' As their speed increased, so did the wind around their ears, and he barely heard the word.

'Climb the cable, ' he yelled.

Without the control of the gas, they slammed hard into the titan 's rump. The impact jarred Levi loose, and he frantically grabbed for Hange 's ankle as he fell.

The titan twisted to try to reach them, and Levi grunted, struggling to maintain his precarious grasp. 'Climb up. '

'I can 't grip the cable, ' Hange yelled. 'It 's iced over from the steam from the other titans. '

His grip began to slip. 'I 'm going to fall! '

'Shit! ' Hange clicked two broken blades into place and drove them into the titan 's flesh, using them as picks to scale its back. The titan began to swat at them with panicked motions, visibly distressed, and one of Hange 's hands slipped.

'Levi, let go. You 're too heavy. '

Levi cursed. With his free hand, he pulled out a blade and, seeing it was too long for his purpose, drove it at a bad angle against the titan 's flesh; the blade snapped closer to the hilt. Stabbing it in as a new handhold, he released Hange 's ankle, then pulled out a second blade. The titan 's flailing arms nearly smacked him several times. His breath came in short blasts as he used all his energy to swing his body out of the way.

'Levi! '

'Yeah, one sec. ' He broke off the second blade, then began to climb. When he was almost at the top, he looked up to see Hange preparing to slice into the titan 's vulnerable spot. 'Wait. '

'What? This thing is going to smash us or throw us off if we don 't take it down. '

'Look around you. ' They were still too far from the horse, and the surrounding titans were getting uncomfortably close. 'We have to move it ' '

The titan began to writhe, trying to shake them loose, and he stopped talking to put all his focus into holding on. 'Move it forward, ' he managed to yell through clenched teeth. His hands ached.

'Levi ' '

'Move it forward! ' One hand slipped off the handle, and he frantically swung for it, trying to reclaim his handhold.

The thrashing stopped. The titan stumbled forward.

Levi found his grip and looked up. Hange stood atop the titan, grinning wildly, a fistful of hair in each hand, trying to jerk its head forward. 'Come on, you bastard. Dance for me! '

He climbed up the titan 's spine as quickly as he could, then paused on a shoulder for a better vantage point. The horse still had its back to them, unaware. He tried another whistle, but there was no response.

Its hearing really is gone.

'

Levi, get up here and help! '

Climbing up the titan 's hair 'so coarse and oily that his stomach heaved 'Levi braced himself against the beast 's forehead and pulled at its hairline, trying to send it off-balance so it would stumble closer to the horse. The beast bent forward to try to shake him loose, and the motion made it stagger forward a few more paces.

'This is too slow! ' He counted six other titans within range. His fear erupted as anger. 'That shitty horse! What the hell is the point of it if we can 't get its attention? '

'Unless ' ' Hange pulled out a flare gun and made an adjustment, then aimed at the horse.

'What are you ' '

The flare canister met the ground a few metres in front of the horse, exploding in red smoke. It reared with surprise and began to back toward them.

Levi 's eyes widened, and he pulled out his flare gun. 'How did you ' '

'Here. A Survey Corps horse won 't spook, but it has the sense to avoid exploding things. ' Hange grabbed his gun and adjusted it. Together, they ejected flare after flare, quickly herding the horse toward them. The titan swayed and swatted, but they easily kept their balance, motivated. The end was within sight, and it was getting closer, closer '

'Now, ' Levi barked.

He heard Hange 's war scream 'so fearsome that he jumped 'followed by the sound of slicing flesh. The dead titan began to drop toward the earth.

The instant the drop distance was safe, Levi jumped off the titan and rolled on the snow to break his fall. When he righted himself, the horse was only a metre to his left, and Hange was already mounting it. He put his foot in the stirrup, but between his disorientation and the horse 's size, he couldn 't make it up to the saddle.

'Come on! ' Hange grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up.

The horse began to gallop.

Levi buried his face in the fabric of Hange 's jacket, not looking back. His head throbbed and his mind hummed with adrenaline, and he had the overwhelming urge to vomit.

He felt Hange twist to look behind them, then heard a laugh. 'We 're losing them. Ha! We are fucking amazing, Levi. '

His pulse raced. He was only a few more hours from a meal, a bath, and his own bed. And Erwin. Maybe it was ridiculous to put one man on par with the rest of it, but he was too exhausted to care.

What the hell?

Erwin blinked, barely awake. Eld was slumped in a chair across from him, head lolled back, snoring.

What 's he doing in my room?

Then the previous night 's events slammed into him, left him reeling. Levi, Anke and Hange were dead, and he had drunk three-quarters of a litre of whiskey and then tried to stage a oneman rescue mission, and furthermore, something had happened with Mike, some sort of argument '

He gingerly sat up, bracing himself for the onslaught of what was sure to be the worst hangover of his life, but the room tilted instead.

I 'm still a bit drunk.

He rubbed his face with his hands, and that was when he rediscovered the injuries that Mike had given him. Their fight came back to him in full detail. Wincing, he rose to his feet.

A small vomit bucket was by his bed, and he was grateful that, at the very least, the drink had erased this bucket 's existence from his memories. That wasn 't something he wanted to remember.

Poor Eld must have had a long night.

He shook Eld 's shoulder to thank him and dismiss him.

He took it upon himself to empty the bucket. He braced one hand on the wall as he walked to the men 's bath, his movements clumsy. Voices floated through doors and down the hallway: he must have slept through reveille. Fortunately, no one passed him in the hall. He didn 't want anyone to see their soon-to-be Commander stumbling half-drunk down the hallway, carrying a pail of his own vomit.

A few soldiers were in the men 's bathroom. He quickly moved to the stall and emptied the bucket, then rinsed it in the sink. Several pairs of eyes followed him, but he ignored them, focusing on washing his hands and face.

When he finally lifted his head to the mirror, he frowned at his peaked reflection. His left eye was dark and swollen, and his lower lip was split. He wet his palms and tried to tame his hair, but a few strands kept falling into his face, and others stuck upright. No wonder everyone was staring.

A hand reached between him and the mirror, holding a bottle of mint mouthwash. Erwin turned to see Shadis.

'Thank you, ' he said, accepting the bottle. He opened it and took a swig, then began to swish it around his mouth.

Shadis clapped him on the back. 'How are you feeling? '

Erwin finished rinsing his mouth, then spat. 'I 've had better mornings. Do you know where I can find Mike? '

'Last I heard, he was still in the san. '

'Thanks. ' He handed back the mouthwash. 'I 'm deeply sorry about last night, Keith. '

Shadis studied him. 'Do you feel embarrassed? '

'Yes, sir. '

'Regretful? '

'Sir. '

'Good. Means you 'll learn from it. '

I learned a lot

, thought Erwin.

I learned that even if I don 't act on my urges, they can still lead me astray.

He felt as if his spirit had been scrubbed with a wire brush. Everything he thought he knew about his resolve was wrong. 'I 'm going to have some breakfast, then talk with Mike. After that, would you mind if we chatted about how I should address the troops tonight? Maybe we could do some of the paperwork as well. '

Shadis hesitated. 'Are you sure you 're up for it? '

'I need to keep busy. ' Even the thought of trying to read a document made his stomach heave, but if the alternative was sitting around sniffing empty shampoo bottles and weeping, he would gladly choose the paperwork.

'You 're also going to want to start thinking about who you will train to be the next Captain. It 'll be a year or two before anyone in this lot is ready, I believe, but it doesn 't hurt to start training people early. '

Erwin 's heart sank. There was only one man he could picture as his Captain, one man who had the independence and skill required for the role, and he was dead.

'You okay back there? ' Hange asked.

Levi groaned, his face still buried in the back of the jacket. About an hour into their ride, he had tried lifting his head, but the morning sun had spiked through his eyeballs and into his brain. 'Is it at least getting cloudy? '

'No, it's still bright. We 're close to the wall. ' There was a pause, then, 'How are we going to get over the wall with no gas? '

'Do you have any flares left? ' he mumbled into the fabric.

'What? '

He pulled his face free, wincing at the bright light. 'Do you have any flare cartridges left? '

'I 'm all out. Check the saddlebags 'there might be some spares '

With a displeased sigh, he began to rifle through the bags. 'Why the hell did you bring books? '

'For observation. Would have been nice to have those in the tree. Might have helped us pass the time. '

'There 's only one canister in here. Black. ' He looked up. 'We fire that, and the Garrison is going to think an abnormal is about to storm the gates. '

Hange grinned. 'That just ensures they 're going to notice us, doesn 't it? Would you do the honours? '

He used his teeth to pull off his mittens, then slotted the cartridge into his gun and fired. The canister ejected, then fell onto the grass. A plume of black smoke shot into the air, dissipating before it reached the height of the wall.

'You adjusted our guns to herd the horse, remember? ' he said, unimpressed.

'Oh, right. '

'Now what? It 's not high enough. '

'Patience. It 's close enough. The Garrison will have scouts stationed on the wall. We just need to wait for one of them to notice the smoke. ' Hange slowed the horse to a walk, guiding it toward the gate. 'Just a few more minutes, and we 'll be able to go home. '

Mike looked up as Erwin entered the sanatorium, then quickly looked down again. He was sitting up in bed, gauze wrapped around his nose and head. A half-full bowl of broth was perched on a tray in his lap.

'Go away, Smith. I 'm trying to eat. ' He paused. 'Not that I can taste any of it. '

'This won 't take long. ' Erwin pulled up a chair and sat beside the bed. 'I wanted to thank you for stopping me last night, and sincerely apologize for hurting you. '

Mike eyed him. 'My nose. Of all the things you could have smashed, you had to go for my damned nose. The medics say it 's going to be a couple weeks for the swelling to go down enough for me to smell anything. '

I didn 't do it intentionally; I was drunk

, was the first phrase that rose in Erwin 's mind, but he remembered Shadis ' advice from the night before: no excuses. 'I 'm truly, deeply sorry, Mike. You were only trying to protect me, and I had no right to react the way I did. '

There was a long pause, then Mike sighed. 'I was drunk, too, and I was taking Anke 's death pretty hard. You weren 't the only one who snapped. I was trying to pick a fight. ' He held out a hand. 'Out of our class, it 's just you, me and Nile now. We need to be on the same team. '

Erwin accepted his hand and shook it. 'Yes, we do. '

Let 's hope Nile knows that.

Bells sounded from the Garrison post at the wall.

'What the hell? ' muttered Mike, turning to look at the window. 'Are we under attack? '

'No. ' Erwin slowly rose to his feet, gaze fixed on the window. 'They 'd be mobilizing us already if that were the case. I should go see what 's going on. '

Don 't get your hopes up. What you want is impossible,

he told himself, but his hopes were already soaring.

He left the room and marched down the hallway, then took the stairs to the yard two at a time, stumbling a couple times in the process. Other soldiers were gathering in the yard, too, puzzled looks on their faces.

'Sir ' ' Moblit said, but Erwin cut him off.

'Everyone, stand back. Open the gates. ' He strode forward, dizzy with hope, and stood in front of the wooden gates that closed off the Survey Corps compound.

The gates slowly parted. Erwin 's breath caught.

At the end of the street was the impossible: Hange and Levi on horseback, alive.

He stepped forward to greet them, chin high, eyes filling with tears.

'We made it, ' Hange cried as they approached the compound gates. 'I can 't believe it, Levi 'we actually made it! We are unstoppable. '

He was silent, his gaze fixed on the only thing that mattered: Erwin.

Erwin was a shell of himself. His golden hair was dishevelled, and his face was bruised. All the careful control was stripped from his face, leaving his brows pinched, his eyes glossy.

Levi

, he mouthed, as if testing out the word, as if he weren 't sure he trusted his eyes.

Levi responded with a brief nod.

Erwin 's mouth closed and his throat bobbed, and that was when Levi noticed the Commander 's pendant around his neck.

The horse came to a halt. The pair dismounted, standing before their new Commander. Around them, dozens of their colleagues stared at them with wide eyes and slack jaws.

'Welcome back from the dead, ' Erwin said, his voice cracking. 'I imagine you both have quite a tale to tell. ' He turned to Hange in acknowledgement, but then his gaze drifted back to Levi, who found he couldn 't look away. The bruising and burst blood vessels in one eye made the blue of Erwin 's iris glow in contrast.

I forgot how blue his eyes are, like the sky outside Wall Maria. And just as unreachable

. He added the last part out of habit, but the way Erwin was looking at him now, he wasn 't so sure.

'We 're very happy to be here, ' Hange said. Levi opened his mouth to echo the sentiment, but he couldn 't find his voice.

Erwin clasped his hands behind his back and stood tall. 'Levi, come with me for a quick debrief on our situation. Hange, it will be your turn next. '

'What? ' Hange said. 'Can 't it wait? He needs medical attention, food, and water. '

'It won 't take long. ' Erwin spun on his heel and began to march away. Levi turned to follow.

'Levi, you need ' ' began Hange.

'I 'll be fine. You go get what you need. ' The food and all the rest of it could wait: above all of it, he needed a moment with Erwin in private. He still didn 't know what he was going to say, but he couldn 't just shrug off their reunion.

As they walked down the hallway, he noticed that Erwin was shuffling a little, one hand trailing the wall. The scent of day-old alcohol wafted behind him, making Levi 's nose wrinkle.

'You okay? You look a little roughed up. '

'Had a bit of a difficult night. I imagine yours was worse, so I won 't complain. '

Levi hesitated, then said, 'You 're wearing the Commander 's pendant. '

'Dead, ' Erwin said before he even had the chance to ask the question.

'Shit. '

'We 'll talk more about that during your debrief. ' He opened the door of his office, ushering Levi through and closing it behind them.

The first thing Levi noticed was the empty soap bottle on the floor, surrounded by a caking pool of yellow liquid. 'What the hell? My soap! ' He hurried forward and dropped to one knee, picking up the bottle. 'That shit was expensive. I 'm gone one damned night ' '

'Levi. '

He turned to see Erwin standing by the doorway, hands clenched in fists at his sides. He looked as if he were about to say something, but then he closed his mouth again, a pained expression on his face.

He 's at a loss for words.

Levi slowly stood and turned to face him, hoping to rescue him with words of his own, but his mouth was suddenly too dry to speak.

Erwin took a couple steps toward him, then stopped. 'I thought ' ' He chest rose, then fell.

For a long moment, they watched each other, unmoving.

Slowly, Erwin paced up to him. He placed a trembling hand on each side of Levi 's jaw, the motion far too intimate to be platonic. They were close enough that Levi could smell mint and alcohol on the breaths that puffed across his skin. He felt the warmth of Erwin 's palms, the strength of his grip, and his eyelids began to droop.

Then Erwin lunged down, his mouth pressing against Levi 's.

The angle was all wrong: their noses mashed together, their mouths didn 't quite line up, teeth dug into his lips, and stubble scraped his skin. On top of that, Levi 's head was throbbing, and he wasn 't sure which of the two of them smelled worse. It was, technically speaking, the worst kiss he had ever experienced.

So why were his knees giving out? Why were his eyes fluttering closed? He felt a rush of adoration for this man and his clumsy, honest, face-mashing kiss.

Erwin began to pull away, but Levi caught his collar, tugging him back in. This time, their heads tilted, and their lips met at a better angle. Warmth rose to Levi 's cheeks, settled between his legs, and he ran his tongue across the split lower lip, tasting the metallic tang of old blood. Their mouths parted, the tips of their tongues brushing. Erwin gave a low groan, and his hands released Levi 's jaw to rake into his hair.

A knock sounded at the door.

Erwin broke the kiss and barely pulled away, their foreheads still touching. For a moment, they waited, frozen in position and breathing hard.

Go away,

thought Levi.

Don 't give us time to second-guess this. Please, just go away.

Another knock.

'I 'm so sorry, Levi, ' Erwin whispered.

'Wait ' '

But Erwin had already pulled away, striding for the door.

Sorry for the kiss, or for the interruption?

Levi angrily adjusted the front of his pants, swearing he was going to cut down the intruder.

'Sir, ' said Hange's voice when the door opened. 'I really must insist you don 't speak with Squad Leader Levi just yet. He has a severe concussion, so he should avoid stressful environments. He needs food and water. If you want someone to fill you in, I can take his place. He was unconscious for the majority of it, anyway, and it was my decision to go for the trees that caused us to be cut off from the group ' '

'That 's enough for now, Hange, thank you, ' Erwin said, 'but you make a good point. I should let both of you settle in before we discuss any of this further. Please excuse my enthusiasm. ' He turned back. 'Squad Leader Levi, you are dismissed. ' His face was back in its default neutral expression.

The least you could do is look disappointed, jackass. '

Fine, ' Levi said, annoyed at both of them. He shoved his hands into his pockets, then marched through the door and down the hall, not looking back. He didn 't want to try to scrutinize that unreadable face one moment longer.

Hange hurried to keep up. 'You know, irritation can be a sign of a worsening concussion ' '

Levi whirled. 'Idiot. Next time, think about what you might be interrupting before you knock. '

His words were met with a blank stare at first, but then Hange 's eyes slowly widened. 'Oh.

Oh. '

He whirled and continued his march down the hall. He heard Hange calling his name, but he was too frustrated to reply.

His footsteps finally slowed when he reached the sanatorium. Mike sat on a bed in the corner, his face heavily bandaged. He looked up at them, and his jaw dropped.

'Holy hell, you guys are alive? '

'Takes more than an explosion, a night of exposure, and a few titans to kill us. ' Levi sat beside the bed. 'What happened to your face? '

Mike grimaced. 'You 'll have to ask Erwin. '

'Right, during one of those personal, revealing discussions he 's so famous for. ' The kiss began to replay in his mind, but he shoved it away. His pants were fitting poorly enough as it was, and he didn 't want to frustrate himself even more.

'Hey, ' Hange said. 'Enough talking. You need medical attention. '

Levi sighed 'the words were true enough, but he was still ticked off about the interruption. 'Fine. '

And so, he submitted to a long series of medical tests that told him exactly what he already knew: he had a concussion, and he needed to take it easy while he recovered, and other than that and a bit of dehydration, he was fine. The medic gave him some wafers and a salted lemonade to sip until dinner to help his body recover.

He thought about asking Mike for more information about his injuries, but he had already been discharged. Hange sat on the bed instead, holding a jar of yellow liquid.

'You got this gross lemonade too, eh, Levi? '

He frowned and turned away.

'Aw, come on. ' He could hear guilt in Hange 's voice. 'I didn 't mean to interrupt. At least now you know Erwin is interested in ' '

He whirled to grab the other 's collar. 'You agreed that not one single soul would hear about what we discussed in that tree, ' he said, his voice low and dangerous, 'so I suggest you stop that sentence right there. '

Hange blinked. 'You seem tense. Maybe you should go take a bath and relax. '

As annoyed as he was, the suggestion was a good one. He had been planning to have a bath next, anyway.

When he went to change, he was surprised to discover all his things had been moved into his new room. His furniture had been set up 'all wrong, but the thought was nice 'and his belongings were neatly stacked on the bedside table. An unfamiliar bottle of soap sat on the bed, a note attached:

I 'll buy you a new bottle of soap when I 'm in town next; until then, borrow one of mine. -ES

With his free hand, Levi popped the cap and held it to his nose. It smelled like blond hair and thick eyebrows. Erwin couldn 't be too regretful about the kiss if he was setting up Levi 's room and giving him soap, could he?

When he entered the men 's bath, he found another surprise: the water was heated, even though it wasn 't a scheduled bath day. Had Erwin arranged this, too? A heated bath all to himself was the greatest reward he could have hoped for after his ordeal. He stripped and sank under the water. When he resurfaced, he already felt more relaxed. Normally, he would be in a rush to wash himself, but the bath was such a lovely contrast from the cold tree branch that he decided to take his time.

He had just started to soap his hair when the door opened, and Erwin stepped into the room. Their eyes locked.

'My apologies for interrupting, ' Erwin said, moving to step back through the door. 'I expected you to still be in the san. '

'No, come in. Unless you 're here to take a giant shit. '

'Just brushing my teeth. ' Erwin approached the sink, pulling a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag. 'Is the bath heated to your liking? ' He leaned forward to peer in the mirror, touching his black eye.

'Not bad. You should join me. ' The words felt too forward, so Levi added, 'You smell like ass. How much did you drink last night? '

'It 's that obvious, is it? ' Erwin frowned at his reflection, then began to ready his toothbrush. 'I 'm embarrassed to admit I finished off that entire bottle of whiskey. Our drink will have to wait for another day, I 'm afraid. '

Given how rarely he drank, he must have had one hell of a night. Levi was beginning to understand where those mysterious injuries might have come from. 'Well, I can smell it on you from here, and there 's plenty of room in the bath. '

Erwin finally looked at him. 'I 'm not sure if that 's a good idea. Shadis is here to help with my transition to Commander, and there are a few duties we need to attend to before dinner. ' He seemed to be reaching for an excuse.

He regrets the kiss.

Levi turned away, folding his arms over his chest. 'I get it. '

A sigh. 'Levi ' '

'No, I get it. '

Erwin watched him for a moment longer, then started to brush his teeth.

Levi sank into the water until his bottom lip skimmed the surface. 'We 're just going to pretend it didn 't happen, right? ' he muttered, wondering how he ever expected anything more out of the closed and unreadable Erwin Smith.

Erwin cast him a sideways glance, but didn 't reply.

Levi 's instincts told him to sulk, but instead he returned to washing himself, trying to pretend nothing unusual had happened. A few minutes later, he heard movement to the corner of the room, then the sound of clothing being removed, but even though he was surprised, he didn 't turn around. As Erwin slipped into the water beside him, Levi caught a glimpse of broad purple bruises. He stared. The muscular hips and thighs were thoroughly battered.

'Titan? ' he asked.

'No. '

'Mike? '

There was no reply. Levi couldn 't shake the feeling that whatever happened between them was somehow connected to his disappearance.

Erwin sat on the bench across from him, his arms draping across the tub ledge in what was probably meant to be a casual pose, but ended up displaying his musculature. Levi subtly studied him. Erwin was so tall that the water only reached his breastbone, and his strong chest was lightly covered with coarse blond hair. His head lolled back against the wall. Even his throat was appealling, the lines of his neck swooping gracefully toward his jaw.

The urge to crawl onto his lap and start kissing that beautiful neck was strong, and Levi felt his cheeks darken. He gave a frustrated sigh. 'Fucking talk to me, Erwin. We 're two grown men, so let 's discuss this like adults. '

Slowly, Erwin lowered his chin to meet his gaze. 'All right. Where did you want to start? '

'Where the hell do you think? ' For a moment, Levi felt his bravery wavering, but he steeled himself.

If you can face down a group of titans, you can face down this blond bastard.

'I 'm getting mixed messages. First you 're holding me on the rooftop, then you 're telling me you can 't be with anyone, then you kiss me, then you try to play it off like nothing ever happened. Make up your damned mind. Do you want me or not? '

'Of course I do, ' Erwin said quietly.

The answer was so unexpectedly direct that Levi 's breath froze, and his chest ached, and even as exhausted as he was, he felt a surge of energy.

'You do? '

'Of course. ' Erwin 's cheeks were darkening, but his expression stayed placid. 'Someone like you draws admirers: agile, intelligent, feisty, and pleasant to look at. My admiration for you has been evolving in ways it shouldn 't. '

Levi 's heart pounded; he was having a difficult time processing everything he was hearing, and he wasn 't sure if that was from the concussion or from shock. 'What do you mean by 'shouldn 't? '

'You want to discuss this like adults, so let 's look at our situation objectively. ' Erwin leaned forward. 'I 'm your Commander now, Levi, and you 're clearly the best candidate for a future Captain position. If word of favouritism got out, it could undermine our credibility. We are in a fight for survival above all else, and that fight must always come first. If we are to lead the Survey Corps, we must have unconditional respect. ' His gaze dropped. 'And on a more subjective note, the last man I loved died. Love makes people make poor decisions. In our line of work, that 's something we must avoid at all costs. '

Love.

The word made Levi 's heart race, even though the context was less than ideal. 'You think you 're the only one who 's lost someone they loved? ' He felt himself getting angry that the excuse kept coming up. 'My first partner was killed in a fight with the Military Police. My second abandoned me and never resurfaced. You 'll never see me using either of those as a reason to shut myself off. ' His eyes narrowed. 'I know you had a pampered upbringing, so death might have been a shock to you when you finally had to face it, but for some of us, loss has always been a fact of life. You can 't let one person 's death completely change y ' ' He abruptly stopped himself.

Erwin 's eyes were wide, his jaw clenched. Slowly, he leaned back against the wall of the bath, his face stony. Even though they were on opposite sides of the bath, Levi felt as though Erwin were looming over him.

I crossed a line.

What was it about speaking with him that made Levi aggressive? He seemed to bury his foot in his mouth every time they spoke. Not quite sure what to say to undo the damage, he waited for a response, his heart pounding.

Erwin 's voice was very quiet. 'Do not assume I knew nothing of death before I joined the Survey Corps. Last week, you guessed that my life was more interesting than I let on, and you were correct, but do not confuse 'interesting ' with 'easy. ' The two rarely coincide. '

'The medics warned me that I might be more irritable than usual because of the concussion, ' Levi said quietly, the closest he could come to an apology.

There was an agonizing pause, then Erwin 's face relaxed and his eyes came back into focus. 'I suppose my refusal to disclose my past opens up my history for misinterpretation, doesn 't it? You 're correct that I have let the past impact the present more than I should. But I 'm not quite ready to let go of what happened with Henrik, not yet, and I need you to understand that. Once I have an idea in my head, it 's very difficult to dislodge. '

'So that 's it, then? ' Levi said. 'One shitty kiss, and we both move on with our lives like nothing happened? '

A brow cocked. 'Shitty? '

'Yes, shitty. You stank, and I stank, and I ended up getting more nose than mouth. '

Erwin looked a little offended, but only said, 'I don 't see any option other than denial. ' His fingers absently traced his bruised eye.

'Did your denial have anything to do with that bruise? '

A pause. 'I will be making a public apology at dinner about the events that led to my injuries, so you 'll learn more then. '

'Public apology? It was that bad? '

Erwin looked down, visibly uncomfortable. 'I did not take the news of your death with grace. '

In all the scenarios Levi had imagined when he pictured Erwin 's reaction to his death, nothing came close to whatever scuffle the bruises suggested. His face softened. 'Well, I 'm alive. '

'You are. ' Erwin looked up, solemn. 'I want you to understand, Levi, that no matter how much hesitation you might sense from me now, the moment when you appeared at the gates is one of the most emotional moments of my life. '

A lump formed in Levi 's throat, and he realized he didn 't want to let his own feelings go unsaid. 'When I was up in that tree, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to say when I saw you again. Never did figure it out. But before this conversation ends and we start pretending nothing happened, I want to get it out. '

'Okay, ' Erwin said softly. 'Go ahead. '

Unable to meet his gaze, Levi kept his eyes fixed on the surface of the water, keeping his tone casual. 'Look, I think a lot about working side-by-side with you, and killing titans with you, and fucking you, and sleeping next to you, and having stupid conversations about dumb shit, where you can tell me things you would never tell anyone else. I know there 's a chance I 'll never have most of that, but I need you to know how I ' ' He chanced a look up. Erwin 's eyes were glassy, but he couldn 't tell if that was just from the bath steam. 'I 'm no good at this sort of thing. '

'No, that was ' ' Erwin 's voice broke. 'Levi, I don 't know how to proceed from here. Not with you. '

'What do you mean? '

'If you were anyone else, my priorities would be clear, but even while I 'm sitting here trying to figure out how to put a permanent wall between us, all I can think about is how badly I want to pull you closer. ' The words trailed off as he spoke, the confidence draining from his tone.

Levi felt his breaths begin to accelerate; he smoothly pulled his knees to his chest. 'This is exactly what I 'm talking about, asshole. You can 't say shit like that. '

'I know, I ' ' Erwin bowed his head, rubbing his temples. 'I know. '

There was a long silence. Levi waited, but it became apparent there would be no further explanation.

'You know where I stand, Erwin, ' he said. 'Figure out what you want. ' He dunked his head back, rinsing the suds from his hair, then stood. 'No kisses, or flirting, or any of that unless you 're prepared to follow through. And don 't expect me to wait around forever, either. '

'That 's fair. ' Erwin 's voice was quiet. 'I need a few days to think all this over. I won 't make a single advance until I 'm sure it 's what I want. You have my word. '

Feeling a lump rising in his throat again, Levi quickly stepped out of the bath, reaching for a towel with one hand, retrieving the soap with the other.

'And I want that new soap soon. This one smells too fancy. ' He suddenly wondered what had happened to the old one, but decided this wasn 't the time to ask. Erwin already looked confused enough as it was, and it was unnerving to see that expression on the face of someone he admired. He wondered if he, himself, looked just as lost. His head was certainly spinning. On top of that, his limbs were shaky, and he felt as if he were going to vomit.

Must be the concussion again,

he told himself.

He was about to leave, but then he heard, 'Levi. '

When he turned, Erwin gave a small, forced smile. 'For what it 's worth, I 'm glad you 're back. '

'Yeah, me too. ' Unsure how to end the conversation, Levi turned and left the room.