-2-

Touch

No

t again.

Erwin struggled to free himself, clawing at the cloak tightening around his neck as the titan hauled him into the air. A howl sounded below; Henrik galloped toward him, fury written on his face, blades drawn.

Don 't

, he tried to yell, but the cloak strangled his voice.

Don 't, Henrik. I know how this ends '

Erwin awoke with a yell, sitting upright. His hands clawed into the sheets as he struggled to catch his breath.

Sharing his memories with Levi last week had been a mistake. Every night since, they had replayed in his dreams in full colour. Still breathing hard, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. Once his pulse finally slowed, he stood and grabbed his toiletries bag. Better to wake up an hour early than try to sleep and end up repeating the dream.

The baths were empty, the one luxury of rising before reveille. He lit a lamp, then strode to the window and opened its slats, letting the crisp morning air flood the room. Settling in front of a basin and mirror, he pulled off his nightshirt and began to wash his armpits with soap and chilly water. Once he was satisfied they were clean, he dabbed on a light layer of cologne. When he did this step in his daily routine, he often thought of his mother admonishing him as a teenager:

remember, Erwin, a gentleman favours true cleanliness over dowsing himself in cologne. I shouldn 't be able to smell it unless I 'm close enough to hug you.

It was rare that he missed her, but he would have liked a hug right about now to help him compose himself after the nightmare.

He was just massaging shaving lotion into his face when the door swung open. Erwin turned to see Levi standing in the door in pyjama bottoms, with a towel slung over his shoulder and a bucket of toiletries in his hand.

'You 're up early, ' Erwin said, and Levi shrugged.

'Heard a yell from next door. Woke me up. ' A brow arched. 'You shit the bed? '

'Nightmares. '

'Sounds like you 're having lots lately. '

'You 'll move to your new room soon enough, and then you won 't have to overhear them any more. ' Erwin leaned closer to the mirror and pulled his upper lip tight, bringing his razor to the skin.

'You okay? '

'Fine, thank you. ' He was annoyed to discover the blade was dull. After the expedition, he would go into town to restock. Maybe he 'd take a few days ' leave and decompress, make a vacation out of it. The nightmares were probably a sign that he was pushing himself too hard.

Levi walked past him to stand by the edge of the bath and dipped a finger in as if testing the temperature. The water was only heated twice a week for shared baths, and was freezing cold the rest of the time, especially during a winter as long as this one.

'You aren 't going in there, are you? ' Erwin asked.

'Why wouldn 't I? '

'It 's going to be cold. '

'Always is. ' Levi turned his back to him and pulled off his pants and undergarments. Erwin tried not to watch, but the mirror 's angle made that difficult.

'Always? Sounds like you do this often. '

'Waking up before reveille is the only way to get a bath without a herd of noisy assfucks ruining the peace. ' Levi slipped into the water, visibly shuddering from the cold.

Erwin had forgotten about shaving; he snapped his gaze back to his own reflection. He quickly finished the job and then washed away the cream, examining his face for missed spots or cuts. In the reflection, Levi was rubbing shampoo into his hair; the motion showcased his muscled upper back.

Erwin forced his gaze away. Ogling a colleague was a bad idea, especially while standing around in his undergarments, which weren 't thick enough to conceal himself should he get too excited. He reached into his bag for a comb, focusing on placing a crisp side part above his temple.

It 's not too late to join him in there

, he thought.

It 's been a few days since your last proper bath, and the company might be worth the cold.

It was embarrassing how much the idea appealed to him. His imagination began to conjure images of the two of them soaping each other. Embarrassed, he tried to distract himself with conversation.

'About the other night. '

In his periphery, Levi turned to face him. 'Yeah? '

'I got a bit dour at the end there. '

A shrug. 'I was saying things I shouldn 't have. '

'I 'd like the opportunity to try for a happier conversation: join me for another drink. Tomorrow, after the expedition. ' The words left Erwin 's lips before he could stop them.

I 'm just trying to get to know my colleague better to further my professional development

, he said to himself, aware it was a lie, but unwilling to admit the truth.

Levi studied him, damp hair sticking out at odd angles. 'A happy conversation? After an expedition? '

'If it goes well. If not, we both might need some company. '

Levi continued to study him, expression unreadable. After a long pause, he said, 'Yeah, sure. '

An inappropriate warmth rushed through Erwin, and he snatched his toiletries bag, preparing to leave before his loss of composure showed on his face. 'See you at the pre-expedition debrief tonight. I 'll be leaving the strategy revisions on your desk by noon. Make sure you study them in advance in case you have any questions. '

'You won 't be at the gear check? ' Maybe it was his imagination, but Levi looked disappointed.

'One of the perks of being a Captain; my gear will be checked in my office at my convenience. ' Erwin nodded. 'See you this evening. ' He stepped through the doorway.

From that point on, his day became a blur: dress, eat, make last-minute tweaks to the plans. Distribute new plans, have gear checked, meet with Anke to discuss the revisions, eat again. Planning, planning, dinner.

He ate alone in his office, seeking quietness and solitude before the debrief. Now that the planning stage was coming to a close, he had the mental space to feel nervous about the upcoming mission. This would be his first strategy that didn 't have Shadis ' stamp of approval. While he was confident this expedition was low-risk, and that his plans minimized that risk even further, they couldn 't afford a disaster. The last expeditions had been costly enough to raise a fuss among their superiors, and there would be extra eyes on them this time around, especially with a new Commander, a new Captain, and new Squad Leaders. The constant nightmares weren 't helping his confidence.

When Anke knocked at his door for the debrief, he was sitting with his forehead pressed to the desk, taking deep breaths to steady himself. As he lifted his head to greet her, he saw that her skin was so pale that she looked sickly.

'I guess this is it, ' she said. 'One last debrief, then nothing 's left between us and the expedition but a few hours of restless sleep. '

'At least we won 't have it looming over our heads anymore by this time tomorrow. '

'If we still have heads. How the hell are you so calm? '

He thought about confessing his own trepidations, but decided fake bravery might inspire bravery of her own. 'The lengthy winter has given us more months of preparation than usual, so we have thought through every angle. Besides, I have confidence in our skills and the skills of our team. '

'Yeah, it 's a good team. ' She didn 't look convinced. 'I guess we should go. They 'll be waiting for us. '

As they marched to the head of the meeting room, Erwin felt the Squad Leaders and Team Leaders watching him, and without Shadis at his side, he felt exposed. He hung the charts and grabbed a pointer, then stood tall beside Anke.

As she began her speech, he let his eyes trail across their audience. Almost everyone in the room was watching her speak, but one pair of eyes met his gaze instead, silver-blue, hooded with disinterested lids and brows. Levi. Erwin had faked disinterest enough times to know the pain that could fester beneath it.

We 've all lost too much. Please, just this once, don 't let any of us lose anything more.

'

And now, ' Anke said, 'Erwin will walk you through the formation and strategy one last time. If you have any questions about the revisions he distributed earlier today, this is the time to ask. '

Coming back to himself, Erwin smiled at her. 'Thank you, Commander. ' He began to point at the charts, explaining their strategy. This formation was similar to their long-range scouting formation, except that Hange and Levi, as the Squad Leaders with the least field experience, would be responsible for guarding wagons at the rear. Their target was an old military silo a couple hours' ride from Wall Rose. On paper, it was a safe expedition: a short distance, a zone that was usually titan-free, and a large forest nearby in case they needed high ground. In Erwin 's experience, however, the safest missions on paper could become the most dangerous in the field, so he had prepared several contingency plans.

A couple of the newer Team Leaders had questions about their roles, and then his presentation was over. Erwin let out a slow breath. The planning phase was done.

'Thank you, Captain. ' Anke stepped forward. 'I think that 's everything. Does anyone have any other questions? '

'

I think that 's everything? ' That 's how she 's closing off this meeting?

Erwin side-eyed her, gaze landing on the bolo tie around her neck, the symbol that marked her as a Commander. He still wasn 't certain if he was envious or relieved that she bore all the responsibility that came with it.

'Okay, good, ' Anke said. 'Dismissed. '

The team stood and saluted, and as they left, she let out a breath of air, deflating. 'Shit. '

'Everything all right? ' Erwin asked.

'Yeah, fine. ' Her eyes ticked across their departing colleagues, and he realized she didn 't want to show weakness in front of them. He would have preferred to leave the conversation there, but their safety tomorrow depended on her. If she started second-guessing her decisions on the field, it would put them all at risk.

'Commander, can you stay behind for a minute? I 'd like to discuss one last thing. ' He clapped a hand onto her shoulder and guided her to stand in front of one of the maps on the wall, pretending, to help her save face, that their discussion was going to be strictly mission-related.

Levi was the last one to approach the door. Just before he left, he turned to look back at them. There was no emotion on his face, but something about his stance looked smaller than usual. Frightened. Erwin swallowed hard, remembering how small Levi had seemed after the last expedition. Maybe once he was done speaking with Anke, he would give Levi some encouraging words.

The door closed.

'What 's going on? ' he asked quietly.

'Shit, Erwin, I am not ready for this. ' Her voice wavered.

'You 'll be fine. You and I were practically leading the expeditions by the end there. '

'I know, but it 's different now. ' Her fingers twisted into the bolo tie around her neck. 'This thing is going to strangle me. If I made a mistake when I was Captain, it was ultimately Shadis ' fault, but now ' '

'Anke. ' He squeezed her shoulders and crouched down so their eyes were level. 'When I met you, you were a demanding little girl who couldn 't wait to order the rest of our team around. That little girl is still inside you somewhere. Find her. '

'That little girl grew up. Saw too many people die. Do you know the average life expectancy of a Commander of the Survey Corps? '

He didn 't, but he could guess it wasn 't very long. Shadis had been an anomaly, the first Commander in years to live to see retirement.

'Six years. ' Her voice cracked. 'And that 's with Shadis ' long reign tugging up the average. '

'That 's better than every other position you were in before, and you survived this long. '

'I guess. Just tell me it 's going to be alright. '

'Anke, it's going to be alright. Just stick to the strategy and keep a cool head. '

'Thanks. ' She cleared her throat. 'Get some sleep. I 'll see you at reveille. '

He saluted and left the room, knowing he wasn 't going to sleep. Not yet.

His first stop was Levi 's new room. The furniture wasn 't fully set up yet, but it seemed likely that Levi, being something of a neat freak, might be cleaning the walls or floors to alleviate stress. A mop and a bucket in the corner of the room confirmed his guess wasn 't far off, but they were dry.

Next he tried Levi 's old bunk, but his bunkmates only shook their heads and said he hadn 't returned after the meeting. The baths were empty, too, and he wasn 't in the mess hall.

His last guess was Hange 's room for a last-minute discussion about their roles in the expedition. As he was about to knock, he heard Hange 's voice behind him:

'Looking for me? '

He turned with a polite smile. 'Have you seen Levi? '

'I saw him heading toward the stables. ' Hange leaned closer, peering at him. 'Is this about tomorrow? Anything I should know? '

'No, I just need to speak to him about a private matter. Did you have any questions? '

'Not really, no. I don 't think. Maybe. I 'm so excited that I can 't think straight. ' The grin that spread across Hange 's face was so unnerving that Erwin fought the urge to take a step back.

'Excited? Well, I 'm glad someone is. ' It was a welcome change from all the fear and anxiety around them. Was everyone nervous because of the change in leadership, or were these usual pre-expedition jitters he had never noticed before? There was something disconcerting about the latter. He had always assumed his colleagues were calm and in control of their emotions.

Humanity 's bravest. Are we all just scared little children, barely keeping our fears in check?

Though he wasn 't sure why Levi would be heading to the stables, he had run out of other ideas. The walk there might help him clear his head, anyway.

As he stepped through the stable door, he breathed in the scent of musty hay. The full moon streamed through holes in the roof and landed in silver-blue puddles on the ground.

The same colour as Levi 's eyes

. The thought came out of nowhere, and for a moment he stood and stared, trying to convince himself the thought had never existed.

'Levi? ' He strained his ears for human movement, but only heard the occasional flutter and pawing of the horses. He hadn 't really expected to find him here, so he wasn 't surprised, just disappointed. He moved quietly through the stable to the far exit.

A cool blast of air greeted him as he stepped into the yard. Winter had overstayed its welcome by several weeks this year, and apparently it wasn 't ready to leave them yet. He folded his arms over his chest, wishing he had brought a thicker cloak with him. The green one he was wearing now was more suitable for spring.

The moon was low and full, rimming the trees and grass with a dull edge of moonlight. The mountains on the horizon were capped with snow, and above them, a thick band of stars arced across the sky.

Erwin took in a long breath, feeling his throat and chest tingle. Whenever he stared at those distant mountains and that band of stars, he felt a strong connection to the world outside the walls, as if his body knew it was a tiny, insignificant part of something greater.

We are so small

, he thought,

and so very fragile. We only stand a chance if all of us work toward a common goal.

A scuff sounded behind and above him, and as he spun to face it, Erwin 's hands instinctively went for the hilts of his blades, but found only air instead. His stance relaxed when he saw a small form perched on the slant of the roof.

'Levi? ' he called, loudly enough to be heard, but softly enough that the noise wouldn 't disturb anyone in nearby rooms.

'Your fat head is ruining the view. ' Levi 's voice was muted by the breeze.

'How did you get up there without your gear? '

'The old-fashioned way. ' Levi pointed to a ladder alongside the stables. It was a sizable jump between the stable roof and the section of roof where he sat.

'I 'd be pretty upset if our best soldier broke his neck hopping between buildings while off-duty, ' Erwin said, though he was impressed by Levi 's agility.

'Maybe an old man like you would break his neck. ' Despite the distance between them, he swore he saw Levi 's eyes twinkle.

Though Erwin was never one to let a dare provoke him, the snide remark allowed him to join Levi under the guise of proving himself. He climbed up the stable ladder and moved swiftly and quietly to the far end of the roof, where he paused, sizing up the gap. Levi shifted closer to the edge, staring evenly down at him.

This would be a stupid way to die.

Erwin felt a sudden rush. When was the last time he had made a risky decision without agonizing over it for days? When was the last time he had engaged in banter or tried to show off?

Somehow, acting under the guise of proving himself had led to him actually wanting to prove himself. 'I can 't believe I 'm doing this, ' he muttered.

'Well, I 'm sure the view 's almost as good down on that roof, ' Levi said. 'If you don 't mind the smell of horse shit. '

With a deep breath, Erwin took a couple steps back, then sprinted forward and jumped. He easily closed the gap, but as he was landing, his shin smacked into the side of the roof. He grunted and lost his footing, and for a panicked second, he thought he was going to roll to his death.

A strong hand closed over his, stabilizing him. He looked up and saw Levi gripping his hand, his other arm wrapped around a pipe near the apex of the roof to anchor them both.

'Tsk. Careful. ' There was that twinkle again.

Erwin cleared his throat. 'If it weren 't so dark out ' '

'Don 't worry. I 've seen you fight; I know you 're good. Found your footing? '

'One moment. ' Using their joined hands to aid his balance, Erwin hoisted himself upright and sat near Levi. With no excuse to keep holding hands, he let their grip drop, then instantly missed it. Levi settled to a seat next to him, close enough that body heat glowed between them.

'Didn 't think you had it in you to be that reckless. ' Was that respect in Levi 's voice? 'I warned you it was dangerous. '

'No, you called me an old man. ' Erwin gave him a sidelong glance. 'I can 't be much older than you. '

'You aren 't. Maybe five years, tops. ' Almost to himself, Levi added, 'I think. '

'Our ages don 't really come up often, do they? I 'm thirty-one. ' The only response was silence, and Erwin decided not to press it. Everyone was entitled to their secrets. Instead, he gathered his lolling knees in the crooks of his elbows and let his eyes drift across the mountains. Beside him, he could hear Levi 's soft breaths; his chest rose and fell in Erwin 's peripheral vision, slow and even.

'So, ' Levi said. 'Why are you here? '

'I thought you might have questions about the expedition. '

'I do. What 's this cargo worth? '

'Worth? '

'Say it 's like last time, and my entire team dies. ' Levi 's tone was flat. He shifted to lean back on his elbows. 'Is this cargo worth it? '

Erwin considered. 'This expedition is low risk; our scouting teams haven 't noted any titan activity in the area for the past year. As for the cargo itself, we don 't know what we 'll find. The silo is an old military cache, so it should have a stash of important supplies 'gas tanks, blades, rations. Its location was useful when the walls were standing, given that it was central to several small villages, but now it 's useless. We 'll be repurposing all the military supplies and sending the rations into the city for civilian use. '

Levi gave a low, displeased sigh. 'Is that what we are now? Scrap collectors? '

'I know it seems like a small step, but each small step is important. Eventually, we will build a new trail of caches leading us toward the outer walls, and that 's when we 'll be prepared to make bigger moves. That 's when we take back our freedom. '

'And you 're planning to be at the helm when we do, right? '

Erwin 's gaze snapped to him. Levi stared straight ahead, eyes distant. His hair swayed in the breeze, and the moon highlighted his face in white: petite features, straight nose, narrow lips.

Without looking at him, Levi murmured, 'You hate these fetch missions as much as I do 'too much risk for too little payoff. When the big expeditions come around, that 's when you 'll truly be happy, right? You 'd risk anything for freedom. Even your allies. Even yourself. '

'I would. '

'Good. Conserving lives is important for these shitty little expeditions, but we all know that eventually we 're going to have to put everything on the line. When that happens, I want someone like you leading us. Maybe that 's why Shadis left Anke in charge: he 's keeping you safe for the time that we really need you. She 's good for the shit we 're doing now, but she doesn 't have the stomach to make big sacrifices. She 'll never lead us to victory. ' Levi 's eyes locked onto him. 'You will. '

After a moment, Erwin said, 'You believe that? '

'I would have left months ago if I didn 't. '

Swallowing hard, Erwin looked away, trying not to admit to his rising pulse, the warmth building in his abdomen.

For several minutes, they fell into a comfortable silence. Erwin pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders, shivering, but the view was so beautiful, the company so welcome, that he couldn't bring himself to go back inside. Beside him, Levi sat up and drew in his knees.

'It still bothers me, ' Erwin said. 'Shadis saying I had lost touch with my humanity. '

'Maybe he just doesn 't see it. You 're always asking people if they 're okay, giving them advice and little shoulder squeezes, things like that. ' A pause. 'Unless that 's just an act. '

Sometimes it was. The reason the statement had stung so much was because it was something Erwin, himself, feared. The more friends he lost, the less he felt. Death no longer seemed real, and the only way he could feel loss was by dwelling on Henrik. Maybe that 's why it was so difficult to move on: maybe he kept reopening the wound not out of genuine respect for his memory, but out of desperation to feel human.

'Hey, Erwin? '

'Yeah? '

'It 's okay. '

'What? '

'All of it. Screw Shadis. You do what you need to. We 're all just surviving the best we can out here. '

The words felt like a release. Erwin took a deep breath, letting the negative thoughts drift away, focusing on the night sky instead. For now, he would cling to this bit of beauty and relaxation.

Levi shifted, and when Erwin looked over, he saw a scowl on his face. 'Are you all right? '

Levi drew in a breath as if to speak, but no words followed.

'Say it, ' Erwin said. 'I won 't judge. We 're all just surviving out here, right? ' Besides, how could he possibly judge, in this crisp air, in the face of the mountains and the sky full of stars? Their words were lighter up here, floating away on clouds of condensation.

'Look, this is a stupid thing to be bothered by, so just ' ' Shivering, Levi tightened his arms around his body. 'You 're always touching people: gripping shoulders, touching arms, squeezing hands. But with me ' ' His voice trailed off.

Erwin 's brain whirled through excuses:

I thought you needed space. I didn 't want to give the wrong impression. I haven 't known you as long.

There was only one excuse that made sense:

I can 't touch you, because last time I did, I couldn 't stop thinking about you. I 'm afraid of what will happen to me if I touch you again.

In the silence that followed, Levi looked down, face twisting. 'I told you, it 's fucking stupid. '

'No, it isn 't. You 're right. ' Finding all his excuses lacking, Erwin brashly decided to rectify the problem instead. His arm draped across Levi 's shoulders.

Levi tensed, but didn 't pull away. 'What are you ' '

'You seemed cold. ' Panic made Erwin 's head swim, but it was too late to retract his decision.

'You don 't have to ' '

'It 's okay. '

As the minutes passed, the tension faded from Levi 's shoulders, and the panic faded from Erwin 's mind. This wasn 't so bad, just sitting next to each other, a little extra contact for body heat. Not as dangerous as he had expected. They were both still shivering, so Erwin drew him in closer.

'You 're so small, ' he said, surprised by the narrowness of Levi 's shoulders.

The shoulders stiffened again. 'Screw you. '

'No, I mean that your personality is so large and your strength so immense that I sometimes forget you take up so little space in the world. You take up so much more in people 's minds. '

Levi looked up at him. 'Was that supposed to be a compliment? '

'Yes. '

'Kind of a shitty one. '

Maybe so, but he meant it, every word. Levi took up far too much space in his mind, and that space only seemed to expand when they were near each other, leaving no room for reason. He subtly shifted his grip, feeling the muscled shoulder.

You smell like lemons and soap, and I want to sit behind you, envelop you in my limbs, and press my face into your hair. I want to run my hands down the front of your torso and trace those lean muscles I 've seen so many times in the men 's baths.

His cheeks were warm, and he hoped his flush wasn 't visible in the moonlight.

Levi edged closer to him and slowly, tentatively pressed a cheek to his shoulder.

Eyes squeezing shut, Erwin tried not to inhale the scent of his hair. 'Levi. '

'It 's cold. '

'This isn 't ' ' The word 'appropriate ' died on his lips as he accidentally got a waft of hair. There was no reason left at this proximity, no logic, just a desire to press even closer. He laid a cheek atop Levi 's head and subtly, shyly breathed in. His head swam, dizzied by pheromones.

Levi 's voice startled him: 'Ever since I was a kid, rooftops have been my escape. Close to the stars, away from people. The higher, the better. '

'Maybe that 's why you 're such a natural with the gear, Levi. You were always meant to fly. '

The words, like the embrace, were too intimate, but it was too late to retract them. He ached to rub his face in Levi 's hair, or pull him onto his lap, or '

His eyes flew open as he remembered himself.

'This is a nice place to escape, ' he said, latching onto the conversation. 'I tend to immerse myself in the city when I need a break. Hide away in plain sight. This feels more peaceful. '

'Always wondered where you went. Lover in the city? '

'No, I have a small room near the market district, and it 's a place of solitude. I 'm not interested in love, not anymore. ' He forced the words out even though they hurt to say here, in this dizzying cloud of lemon scent.

There was a long pause; he lifted his head. Levi stared at the horizon, so still that he could have been carved from stone. The only signs of life were the clouds of breath leaving his nose.

Erwin had suspected for a while now that Levi was developing feelings for him, but until tonight, he had written it off as his own wishful thinking. Maybe it still was 'maybe the chemistry between them tonight was all in his head 'but he couldn 't take that chance. Levi was more valuable to humanity 's fight than any single soldier, and Erwin would not become his weakness.

He cleared his throat. 'Love is a luxury I can no longer afford. I swore long ago to dedicate my life to titans. I lost sight of that once, and it cost my partner everything. It can never happen again. Besides, it would be irresponsible to allow anyone to form a bond with me when I could die at any moment. '

'So could anyone. ' A muscle in Levi 's jaw twitched. 'People bond during hard times. It 's part of being human. '

'Then maybe I do have to leave my humanity behind. '

'You do what you fucking want. ' Levi stood. 'I 'm going to bed. '

Surprised by the abrupt mood change, Erwin looked up, but Levi was already moving across the rooftop toward the stable. 'Levi. '

Levi turned, shoulders squared and chin high, the breeze ruffling his uniform, cravat and hair. Taken aback by the unexpectedly statuesque pose, Erwin only managed to say, 'Good luck tomorrow. '

Their gazes held for a moment longer, then Levi turned and leapt toward the stable roof, disappearing from view.

Erwin watched for a moment longer.

It needed to be said.

Now the mountains and the empty sky, so accepting earlier, were judging him: he was small, naive, worthless. His trembling hands raked into his hair as he attempted to steady himself, but Levi 's scent was still on his sleeve.

With a low sigh, he stood and began to climb down the roof. If he was going to wrestle with his own confusion, he might as well do it in the warmth of his bed.

Erwin 's horse veered right. For a moment, he thought the titan 's maws had missed him, but his cloak tightened around his throat so hard that it jerked him backwards. Stars swam before his eyes.

Not again.

His body was hoisted into the air. His legs kicked as he fought for breath. He wrenched his body to the side, trying to twist around to face the attacking titan, but the fabric around his neck restricted his movement.

He heard a howl, and his eyes jerked to the source.

This time it was Levi, not Henrik, who galloped toward him at full speed. Levi 's teeth were bared, brows low, tears streaming from his eyes. With an inhuman howl, he launched himself forward. A cable buried into the flesh somewhere above Erwin 's head.

No, no, not again!

Erwin writhed, desperately fighting to free himself. Above him, he heard the sound of a blade hitting bone. Titan blood spattered across his face. The teeth opened, and Erwin dropped to the ground. He rolled onto his back, gasping for air.

That was when he saw Levi between the beast 's jaws, the massive teeth framing either side of his head. Moonlight-coloured eyes, wide and panicked, locked onto him.

'Erw ' ' The cry ended in a piercing shriek.

Massive teeth closed, and blood misted upon Erwin like rain.

'Levi! '

He sat bolt upright, frantically reaching for his blades, but found only blankets. Eyes darting around the room, he saw the familiar shape of the window, the familiar patch of moonlight highlighting his wardrobe. Just a dream. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with trembling hands.

The nightmare 's grip was beginning to fade, but now memories were rushing in to take its place. He could smell rotting flesh and burning hair, see Henrik 's hand jutting from the flames, clawed by rigor mortis, as if he were still reaching for Erwin, still pleading for rescue.

You won 't have to relive any of it. You pushed Levi away. That will never happen to him, not because of you.

One last time, he lifted his wrist to his nose and breathed in, but Levi 's scent had already faded.