January 25th, Seven Years Since the Release of Corruption

There 's a weird energy in the office that Dazai doesn 't understand. He 's having a severely unpleasant day, but that 's his own personal suffering. Nobody else is being required to promote a song that they 'd rather never hear again.

Dazai notices it right when he walks into the main office from the recording studio. He and Atsushi are taking a break after doing a couple hours of vocals. They 're getting close to finishing Atsushi 's debut album. The ADA had done a rush job to put out

Beast Beneath the Moonlight

after signing Atsushi in that mess with PMR and The Guild, but making a full album is taking them much longer.

Dazai watches his coworkers talk to each other in hushed voices while looking at their phones. It 's very out of the ordinary. Hushed voices had no place in this office usually.

He turns to Atsushi, who is also scrolling through his phone with an alarmed expression.

'Something wrong? ' asks Dazai, raising an eyebrow. His own phone is still on silent, and he 'd like to keep it that way.

'Um, ' says Atsushi, stammering. 'Nakahara released a surprise solo album. '

Well, that 's 'unexpected. Dazai actually doesn 't want to unpack all the emotions that he feels about that at this moment. But while that might be a cause of concern for Dazai himself, that didn 't explain why everyone else is behaving so erratically. 'Why would that affect the ADA? '

Atsushi looks even more nervous, going slightly pale. 'Um, well, one of the songs is kind of about you, Dazai. '

Dazai blinks at him in response. But before he can say anything he hears the song that 's playing in the background. He 's only heard it once before, but he recognizes it instantly.

'

Everything you touch, you destroy. Arahabaki, Arahabaki, Arahabaki

, ' sings Chuuya 's voice over the radio, the song as hauntingly beautiful now as it had been seven years ago. The only difference is that Chuuya 's voice is even richer now with age and experience.

Dazai is walking towards the door before he even realizes it. 'I have to go, ' he somehow speaks over the giant lump in his throat. He ignores Atsushi 's protests as he rushes out of the office.

February, Nearly Two Years and One Month Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya hadn 't exactly been looking forward to his first executive meeting. In fact, he 'd been dreading it. Being stuck in a room with Dazai, Kouyou, Mori, and Ace (who Chuuya has only met a few times yet he 's somehow earned a spot in the top five most annoying people Chuuya knows, which is a fucking

feat

with the people Chuuya interacts with) had sounded like his own personal hell.

He had never imagined that his first meeting would be via a video conference at 5:30PM his time discussing what to do about the abrupt resignation of a fellow executive.

It 's been a week since Dazai had fucked off to parts unknown and left a heaping pile of shit in his wake. It 's been four days since Chuuya had been giving the news. He 's spent those days flip-flopping between thinking

I can 't believe he fucking did this

and

of course he fucking did this.

During the day he 's been fine, work keeps him too busy to waste time thinking about it. It 's at night that he 's weaker. He sits on the balcony of his humongous rented house in Marseilles, staring out at the Mediterranean Sea instead of sleeping.

Chuuya watches the waves and tries to figure out how things had gone from the way they were a year ago to now. He keeps running through everything over and over again, as if he can pinpoint the exact moment the most important person in his life had decided he wasn 't even worth an explanation, a goodbye, anything. He tries to understand how Dazai had gone from whispering

I don 't want you to go

over six months apart to leaving indefinitely without caring at all.

His emotions are an absolute clusterfuck. He doesn 't have a word that even scratches the surface of how angry he is. He kind of wishes it were only anger he's dealing with. But there 's also the almost overwhelming feelings of sorrow and wretchedness. Sometimes he just feels numb, like someone else is in control of his body and making it appear like he 's functioning.

If he had to sum it up in a single word, he would say he feels alone.

Honestly, he should be better at this by now. Yet he 's once again the dumbass still holding the rope who hasn 't realized the person on the other side has already let go. But apparently it really is impossible to teach an old and incredibly stupid dog new tricks.

But Chuuya isn 't going to showcase any of that absolutely pathetic behavior during an executive meeting. So he 's here with a carefully controlled expression on his face as he listens to Mori start the meeting through the monitor of his new computer. The camera is set up so he can see the entire conference room (that he has still never been inside in person), though the empty chairs in the room stand out more than the filled ones.

'I appreciate everyone clearing their schedules to deal with this rather unexpected development, ' says Mori. His expression is difficult to figure out. His face is neutral, but there 's almost a flicker of amusement in his eyes. 'As you all know, Osamu Dazai has terminated his employment with Port Mafia Records. After a week of no contact from him, it 's safe to assume his actions were intentional and he isn 't going to return. '

Chuuya keeps his face blank, but his hands are balled into fists out of sight under the table. Hearing Mori say it in such a calm tone makes it so much worse.

'So the arrogant little snot finally cracked under the pressure, ' says Ace, expression somewhere between a smirk and a sneer. 'I can 't say I 'll miss him. '

Chuuya is about to start telling Ace exactly where he could shove his opinion but Kouyou speaks up first.

'He was a major asset to Port Mafia Records even when he was fourteen, ' says Kouyou. She isn 't smiling, and the look she gives Ace is barely hiding her contempt for him. 'He will not be easy to replace. '

'What 's our strategy going to be to address his departure? ' asks Chuuya, addressing his question to Mori. His voice comes out slightly harsh, the words louder and colder than he intended them to be. He doesn 't turn to see Kouyou or Ace 's reaction to them though, keeping his gaze fixed on Mori.

The flicker of amusement becomes even more apparent in Mori 's eyes. 'An excellent question, Chuuya. We are in a bit of a predicament. Port Mafia Records has never lost an executive without signing an agreement before they left before. '

'Can 't we just go after him legally? ' asks Ace. He looks almost bored. 'We have more than enough resources to bring him down. '

'It isn 't that simple, ' says Kouyou. Her expression has become more serious. 'As an executive, Dazai was privilege to a lot of information that could be damaging to PMR if it ever reached the public. We can 't afford for him to reveal any of it to the wrong people. '

'He signed a four year recording contract a little over two and a half years ago, ' says Chuuya, his voice coming out more normally this time. There 's still a slight edge to it though. 'Regardless of what his plans are, he can 't break that. '

'Yes, he wouldn 't be foolish enough to try and release music under another label, ' says Mori. He leans his elbows on the table and rests his head on his hands, his eyes focused on the table. It 's him at his most calculating, he 's dropped all of his phony cheerfulness.

Nobody speaks for a moment. Chuuya watches Mori, he feels like he can almost see the gears in his head churning frantically.

'Right, ' says Mori, smiling again. He sits up fully. 'I propose we do nothing. '

'Nothing? ' repeats Ace, giving Mori a baffled look.

'That 's correct, ' says Mori, his smile growing even wider. 'Let Dazai throw his misguided tantrum. We shouldn 't waste our time on it. We have more important things to focus on. '

'Surely people are going to ask questions about his absence, ' says Kouyou. Her confusion is more subtle than Ace 's, but she 's clearly surprised as well.

'They certainly will, ' agrees Mori easily. 'And we will avoid them. As Dazai once said, people love a good scandal. If anything it might boost sales a bit. '

'So he just gets away with this? ' demands Chuuya. He doesn 't even care that he 's openly challenging Mori. He 's somewhere between shocked and furious.

'That 's not what I said, ' says Mori. He fixes Chuuya with a cool look. 'Dazai will pay for this transgression somewhere down the line, make no mistake. But now is not the time for personal feelings to interfere with what is best for Port Mafia Records. '

Chuuya takes a deep breath, the borderline scolding making him feel slightly humiliated but also calmer. 'Of course, Boss. I apologize. '

'No need for that, ' lies Mori, accepting the apology with a nod. 'Much of this burden will fall on you, Chuuya. You 're going to have to be the one to sell the story. It 's best to get any apprehension about it out of the way now. '

'I can handle it, ' says Chuuya, locking eyes with Mori. His words no longer hold anger, but a promise. He will not let PMR down, not now.

'I 'm sure you can, ' says Mori, giving Chuuya a more genuine smile than he usually uses. 'If anyone gets pushy, inform them it 's a Port Mafia Records ' legal matter than you aren 't at liberty to discuss. '

'Understood, ' says Chuuya. The idea of lying, and lying about this in particular, is tough to swallow. But he had meant what he said, for PMR, for his family, he will not falter. No matter how much it stings.

'It 's a sound approach to the problem, ' says Kouyou. She still seems a little unsettled, although Chuuya is probably the only one who can tell. 'But what are we going to do about his replacement? '

'Ah, yes, I 've considered that as well, ' says Mori. He leans back in his chair. 'I 've decided I 'm going to leave his position open for now. '

'And what would be the logic behind that? ' asks Kouyou, face and voice impressively blank.

'I 'm not convinced that Dazai won 't come back once he 's calmed down, ' says Mori with a shrug. 'He 's not one for emotional outbursts. Also there isn 't anyone else who I feel would be a good fit for taking over the work he was in charge of, not presently at least. '

'That 's quite a gap we 're leaving vacant, ' says Kouyou, crossing her arms.

'I believe the four of us will be able to fill it, ' says Mori, going back to his cheery voice and smile. 'We 'll distribute his unfinished projects among ourselves. '

'You want all of us to help oversee the marketing department? ' asks Chuuya, not hiding his distaste for the task. He 's willing to lie, but he knows for a fact he 'd be terrible at creating promotional materials. He 's never had the manipulative streak necessary to be good at it.

'No, ' says Mori, and his smile now is about as close as he gets to a real laugh. 'We 'll assign the tasks based on our respective skill sets. The marketing will fall mostly to myself. I think taking over the editing and music related functions he oversaw will suit you better, Chuuya. '

'Looking forward to it, ' says Chuuya, giving him an answering smile. It 's actually mostly sincere.

His avoidance of music these past months hadn 't been a deliberative decision. After Arthur had died he had stopped listening to it almost reflexively. Every song had just made him think of him, and he hadn 't want to confront those thoughts. He had just needed a break from it all so that he could grieve at his own pace. The silence had been comforting in its own weird way.

It 's not that he wants to stop writing and playing music forever. Despite his success in doing administrative work, he doesn 't find it particularly fulfilling. He isn 't like Kouyou, he could never give it up for good.

Choosing

Arahabaki

as the first song he worked on had been a fucking mistake. He had thought all of the negative thoughts it brought with it were going to be worth what he gained by doing it. But in the end he had just went through all that shit for nothing. The only thing he had gotten was a more fucked up sleep schedule than usual.

Chuuya isn 't going to let that screwup hold him back anymore though. As opposed to losing Arthur, Dazai 's disappearance has made him feel the opposite way about music. He wants to get lost in the notes and chords again. He had loved music before he had even met Dazai, and Dazai isn 't going to ruin that for him. He isn 't going to let him.

There 's still a tiny part of him that 's a little apprehensive about diving back into music, but Chuuya isn 't going to focus on that. He misses playing too much to let his cowardice rule him. Even if it hurt, even if he felt like there was someone missing, he would face it head on. He 'd rather feel pain than the nothing he 's been using as a shield since October.

'Have things been resolved entirely with the Mimic project? ' asks Ace, bringing him out of his thoughts. 'I 've got a bunch of their leftover merchandise that I 'd like to get rid of. '

'You can dispose of it, ' says Mori with a nod. 'The police have everything they need. Our role in the matter is finished. '

Chuuya has to make an effort not to react to that. He 's not sure if he wants to scowl or roll his eyes more. PMR 's underhanded deal with Mimic Industries isn 't something he necessarily approves of. Anything other than music that PMR is involved in holds little interest to him, but he 's never enjoyed the more unsavory elements of the music industry.

He 'd managed to steer clear of anything having to do with the shadier sides of PMR 's dealings until he became an executive and no longer had a choice in the matter. He still really isn 't involved. He knows that Mori knows how he feels about it, and so far Mori hasn 't minded his evasion. Mori seems to not care about Chuuya 's obvious disdain as long as it doesn 't affect his work.

Chuuya wishes the company would stick just to music, but he 's aware that 's a naive and impossible sentiment. This is L.A, and there are certainly worse offenders than PMR. It 's unavoidable that there will be elements of his job that don 't align with her personal views.

Still, he might have a lot of mixed feelings about Sakunosuke Oda, and he doesn 't actually know him, but he has no doubts that he hadn 't deserved what had happened to him. Chuuya tries to remind himself that in the end they 'd taken out a major rival and had removed one of the major sellers of drugs from the music business. They also hadn 't forced the heroin on Oda, he 'd made that choice himself.

It 's hard to stomach regardless. He knows it 'll benefit PMR hugely in the long run, but there 's a part of him that can 't accept it as the right move.

But Chuuya isn 't in charge, so he keeps his mouth shut. He 's already risked challenging Mori once today. Plus now isn 't exactly a great time to start raising questions about his loyalty.

'Is there anything else we needed to discuss? ' asks Kouyou. Her voice makes Chuuya realize she 's been watching him with a concerned expression. He quickly adjusts so he 's looking at Mori again.

'I think we 've settled the biggest concerns for now, ' says Mori. 'But stay on the line for a moment, Chuuya. I 'd like to discuss some things with you in private. '

Ace doesn 't seem to mind the dismissal. He nods and gets up to leave, flicking his blonde hair obnoxiously as he exits the room. Kouyou hesitates a little more. She gives Chuuya a final look, but Chuuya doesn 't look back. Kouyou takes that as her answer and walks out of the room with slightly stiffer posture than usual.

'How are you doing? ' asks Mori once they 're alone. His voice is light, but the question is anything but. Chuuya knows a test when he hears one.

'Things are going well in Marseilles, ' answers Chuuya matter of factly. 'The only record company that has been directly hostile is The Order of the Clocktower, and while they 're big in Europe they don 't have much of an international reach. I wouldn 't worry about them. Otherwise building connections has been progressing smoothly. Mimic Industries didn 't have many friends, no one has been sorry to see them go. '

'I 'm ecstatic to hear that, ' says Mori. He smiles at Chuuya widely. 'But I meant how you were doing personally. '

They both know Chuuya knows exactly what he meant. Chuuya smiles back. 'Never better, ' he says easily.

'I 'm assuming you no longer have any interest in recording an album now that it 's not going to be a Double Black one, ' says Mori. His face is impassive.

'Your assumptions are almost never wrong, Boss, ' says Chuuya. He shrugs a bit. 'Plus with all the extra work from our ex-executive my hands are going to be pretty full anyway. '

The idea of trying to write an album right now sounds about as fun as dipping his entire body in acid. While he 's ready (or as ready as he 's going to be) to listen and work on others ' songs, he doesn 't think he could write anything for himself that isn 't him screaming about emptiness and inhumanity and how he inevitably destroys everything he cares about.

Chuuya can handle a lot, but he doesn 't think he could make it through that by himself. He 's not a masochist. The only reason he had even dragged

Arahabaki

out of the cesspit of his mind that he had tried to lock it in was because he had thought he wouldn 't be singing it alone.

He 's willing to do practically anything to prove his dedication to Port Mafia Records, but this is the one thing he refuses to budge on. Chuuya knows Mori is probably going to be disappointed, but he can 't bring himself to care. As an executive Mori can 't make him record music no matter how much he wants to.

'I thought that would be the case, ' says Mori. His expression doesn 't change much, but there 's a subtle hint of a frown. 'The decision is up to you of course. '

'Then I 'm going to pass, ' says Chuuya, trying to keep his voice light.

'Well, let me know if you ever change your mind, ' says Mori cheerfully. 'The offer is on the table whenever you want it. ' He smile becomes more of a smirk. 'I always thought you 'd be better as a solo artist anyway. '

March, Two Years, One Month, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya has been successfully dodging Kouyou 's calls for over two weeks now. It helps that there 's a nine hour time difference between them. He 's been claiming he 'd been sleeping instead of watching his phone ring and setting it down when she calls at night.

They both know it 's a bunch of bullshit, but Chuuya 's going to have to make a career out of lying now. He might as well start with one that benefits him. He has to admire her persistence though. The number of calls has remained steady. Kouyou Ozaki does not take being ignored lying down.

Chuuya had thought he would be safe while he 's in the office. Right now he's making some suggestions on a new Black Lizards ' song. The sound is distinctly different with the changes in personnel, but the differences aren 't bad. Ryuunosuke 's voice is a good fit just like he 'd thought it would be.

Despite his reservations, working on music has felt like coming home after being away for a long time. There 's been moments where he 's slipped and wished he could ask Dazai 's opinion on something, but for the most part it 's been good. He finds himself playing the songs in his head even after he leaves work for the day. Chuuya no longer feels like he needs to use silence as an anchor.

The song he's working on is called

Of Dawn, Of Dusk

and has 'a fairly impressive drumbeat. He should text Tachihara about it when it 's not two in the morning in L.A. They 've tried to stay in touch even though they 're not in the same band anymore.

Mich hadn 't seemed upset over him leaving The Black Lizards. He 'd been more concerned about the way Chuuya had tried to drink an entire bar in front of him the last time they 'd seen each other in person. Chuuya had tried to apologize, but Tachihara had told him it was unnecessary. He 'd backed off and given Chuuya the space he 'd clearly wanted at the time.

Tachihara 's been texting him more ever since Dazai left though. Although the texts aren 't about him thankfully. They 're all complaining about Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. Tachihara hadn 't exactly been a big fan of his in the first place, but apparently since Dazai had left Akutagawa has become even more of a basket case.

I 'm going to murder him,

Tachihara had texted him earlier this week.

I don 't care if Gin murders me back. Kajii was better than this. He was a raging lunatic but at least he wasn 't a stuck up dickhead.

Chuuya tries to send him his virtual support. He also feels for Hirotsu, the old guy can 't seem to catch a break. Even with different people the band is still always on the brink of a massive fight.

There 's a part of him that feels sorry for Ryuunosuke. Despite not being involved at all, he 's aware of how Dazai had been a mentor to him. He would have been devastated if Kouyou had taken off back when he was working with her. But he would be a lot more sympathetic if he weren 't taking out those feelings on Mich and his sister (and admittedly he can 't help but feel irritated with Akutagawa for being such an ass over this when Chuuya is doing his fucking best to not let it affect him.)

He 's drafting an email with his notes on the song suggesting some tweaks to it when Simone knocks on his door. She always knocked the same way, a quick rap of her fist three times.

Chuuya hadn 't known what to think of the woman who worked the front desk when he first met her. She had won him over fairly quickly though. Simone didn 't take any shit from anyone, not even himself despite how much he outranks her. But she was also kind, she had started bringing him tea fairly often after noticing how much he drank it.

'Come in, ' he calls out. He finishes the sentence he 's typing and looks up.

'Mr. Nakahara? ' she says as she opens the door. 'Kouyou Ozaki is on the phone for you. '

Chuuya sighs deeply. Damn it, he likes Simone way too much to put her through the trauma of trying to lie to Kouyou. This had probably been her plan. He hadn 't really thought he could put off speaking to her forever, but he 'd thought he could stretch it out a bit longer.

He does feel a tiny bit guilty over not talking to Kouyou. It 's been more out of self-preservation than anything. Chuuya knows that no one else will push him to talk about Dazai. But Kouyou isn 't going to let him get away with false bravado like the others. She 's going to force him to showcase how despicable and damaged he is.

He had know it was inevitable, but that doesn 't make it easier to accept.

'Put her through, ' says Chuuya, rubbing his eyes with one hand.

'Are you sure? ' asks Simone, watching him with a raised eyebrow.

'No, ' says Chuuya with a snort. 'But do it anyway. '

Simone nods and shuts the door again. She also isn 't very chatty, another one of the reasons Chuuya likes her.

Chuuya picks up his office phone, bringing it up to his ear with dread.

'Kouyou, ' says Chuuya brightly. 'I 've been meaning to get back to you. But you 've caught me right in the middle of something. So I 'm going to have to-. '

'Chuuya Nakahara, ' Kouyou cuts him off, voice as hard as steel, 'So help me if you hang up this phone I will take the next flight to Marseilles and hogtie you to a chair until you speak to me. '

Chuuya barely muffles a groan. He hadn 't really thought that would work, but he had to try. 'What? ' he asks resignedly.

'Don 't

what

me, ' says Kouyou haughtily. She sighs then, her voice going to something much less unkind. 'How are you? '

'I 'm amazing, ' says Chuuya flatly. 'Now if that 's all you called to ask-. '

'Chuuya, ' Kouyou interrupts him again, no hint of softness left. 'Don 't do this. It 's just me. You can be honest. '

That 's exactly the problem. 'I 'm terrible, ' says Chuuya, tone sharp. 'Happy now? '

'Why would that make me happy? ' asks Kouyou, voice gentler again.

'You 're the one who warned me he was probably just using me for one of his schemes, ' says Chuuya. The words are filled with bitterness. 'You were right, as per usual. '

'I don 't know what happened between you two, ' says Kouyou carefully, 'But I saw him after you left for Japan. He wouldn 't have looked that upset over just a scheme gone wrong. '

'It doesn 't matter anymore, ' says Chuuya, trying to fight down the ache Kouyou 's words bring. 'He

left,

Kouyou. When it came down to it, he decided I wasn 't even worth a single fucking word before he fucked off. I hate him. '

Kouyou doesn 't seem to have a response to that. The line stays quiet for a moment.

'I know about everything that happened with Mimic, ' says Chuuya lowly. 'And I would have done anything. I would have left France without question. I would have gone anywhere or done whatever it took to help him. All he had to do was ask. ' He has to pause to clear his throat. He forces himself to keep going. 'But he didn 't. He clearly doesn 't give a single shit about me anymore. '

'Chuuya, I know you care about him-, ' starts Kouyou.

He laughs harshly, cutting her off. 'You and I both know I more than just

care

about him. '

Chuuya doesn 't think he 's ever been in a conversation with Kouyou where she 's been speechless twice, but she stays silent once again.

'Please, ' says Chuuya softly, his voice trembling a bit despite him trying to keep it steady. 'I can 't talk about this. ' He hates to have to plead like this, it makes him feel weak and childish. But it 's preferable to having to keep discussing this. It 's like stabbing himself over and over again.

'If that 's what you want, ' says Kouyou, her voice quieter too.

Chuuya has to fight off another laugh. When is the last time he actually got what he wanted?

'I could come out there, ' offers Kouyou, tone normal again.

'Kouyou, do you know how that would look? ' asks Chuuya. Even if he would love to see her, he can 't afford to look fragile right now. He can imagine Mori 's reaction to him needing help with this, and that alone is enough to make him know it 's a bad idea.

'You used to not care about things like that, ' says Kouyou. She doesn 't sound disappointed though, it comes off as just sad.

'I am not going to fall apart over this, ' declares Chuuya, voice more confident than it 's been this whole conversation (since he 'd gotten the news actually). He 's making a vow to himself just as much as he is to Kouyou. 'I am going to work my ass off. I am going to make PMR better than it 's ever been before. I am going to be so fucking successful that the only attachment of my name to

Osamu Dazai

is that guy I used to play music with when I was a kid. '

'That sounds more like the Chuuya I know, ' says Kouyou, clearly approving. 'Although I could do without the language. '

Chuuya laughs a little, more genuinely instead of bitter this time. 'This is just a temporary setback. You don 't need to worry about me. '

'I 'm always going to worry about you, ' says Kouyou matter of factly. 'No matter how old you get, it 's still my job to watch out for you. Nothing is ever going to change that. '

Chuuya smiles slightly, even though her support hurts as much as it helps. He 'd thought the same about everyone who had eventually discarded him. He wants to believe Kouyou is different, but he can 't stop the small uncertainty that manifests. (It 's the question that 's always lurking in the back of his mind, is the reason everyone eventually leaves because he isn 't human enough?)

He pushes it down though. Chuuya isn 't going to let his doubts take over his life. Arthur had been the one to teach him that. Chuuya had lost sight of that when he had died, but now more than ever he 's trying to follow his advice. Even if he isn 't fucking human, he 's not going to give up on the people who he cares about. A life without others, without music, is hollow. He will not live that way.

But as much as Kouyou is trying to make him feel better, there are certain things she doesn 't know about him. There are reasons why Dazai 's leaving had cut deeper than any other before that she isn 't aware of. They had always skirted around discussing Chuuya 's life before joining PMR. Kouyou knows that he 'd lived with his mom before she 'd died and that he 'd never met his father, but she doesn 't know much beyond the basic details.

It isn 't that he doesn 't trust her. He does, he knows she would burn down the world in order to protect him. But protection isn 't the same as understanding. Kouyou had said it herself, she would always be worried about Chuuya. If he told her about his past, she would see it as another thing she had to be concerned about, a weakness.

Chuuya doesn 't want sympathy, he never has. What he really wants is someone he can be completely himself with. He wants someone to listen to the music he writes and recognize everything that it means, someone to really

hear

him. He 'd thought he 'd found that in Dazai. In fact, Dazai 's acceptance of everything Chuuya had ever told him without question had made him feel more human than he ever had before.

(It 's why despite how much he genuinely loathes him and is absolutely furious with him, he can 't deny he 's also anxious whether Dazai is okay or not wherever he 's run off to.)

Chuuya might not be able to give Kouyou the full truth, but he can give her peace of mind at least. He doesn 't want her to waste her time worrying about this. He will not be a burden to her.

'You should be more concerned about how I 'm going to knock you out of your spot as the top executive of Port Mafia Records, ' says Chuuya, tone deliberately cocky and annoying. 'I don 't know if you 've heard, but the European office is flourishing under my steady guidance. '

'You 've got a long way to go before you 'll catch up to me, ' says Kouyou. He can make out the subtle amusement in her voice. 'But I can explain to you how out of your league you are another time. It is getting a bit late here. '

'Yeah, I 'll talk to you soon, ' says Chuuya. This time his smile comes easier. 'Thanks Kouyou. '

'No need for that, ' says Kouyou brusquely. 'But if you ever ignore my calls for this long again there will be consequences. '

That actually makes him laugh for real. 'Message received, ' he says.

When Dazai had first left Port Mafia Records, he 'd been somewhat excited despite all the terrible things that had been happening. It had been thrilling in a way to strike out on his own and give Mori the finger as he did. Now that it 's been over a month, he 's mostly just bored.

Dazai can 't really go anywhere or do anything that will draw too much attention to himself. He 's been out of the spotlight for the most part since the Double Black tour had ended, but he 's still too well known to be able to walk around freely. Every time he does go out he has to bundle himself up in clothing, and Taneda gets all twitchy about it.

Living with Santoka Taneda has been interesting. Taneda is one of those cops who spends almost all his time working. Even when he is home he 's pouring over case files or on his laptop. He doesn 't care much about what Dazai does as long as he 's not directly bothering him or putting himself in jeopardy (although he 's forbidden Dazai from drinking alcohol because he 's

too

young

, which is kind of hilarious).

Most of their interactions occur over the dinner table. Taneda insists on them eating together every night. It 's baffling to Dazai. Most of his meals the past couple years have been on the go or business related. He can 't remember the last time he had eaten a home-cooked meal before moving in with Taneda. The closest he can think of is eating frozen pizza in Chuuya 's dorm when they were writing the album.

But every day like clockwork Taneda will knock on his door and call out that dinner is ready in a boisterous voice. The first couple times Dazai had felt it would be rude to refuse. He 's in Taneda 's debt right now, if he wanted to eat dinner with him he could do it. Now it 's become part of his routine. He automatically gets up off his bed when Taneda calls, sitting down with the other man in the main room.

Taneda 's house isn 't as luxurious as the kind of accommodations Dazai had been used to with Port Mafia Records, but it isn 't shabby. Taneda clearly makes some decent money to have a place this nice by himself in L.A. He 's a captain in the Detective Services Group for the LAPD, in the Special Investigation Section specifically. It 's the division Ango (that deceptive cretin) had belonged to before switching to the Gang and Narcotics Division. (Dazai had banned all further talk about Ango very early on after moving in.)

The house is farther away from the ocean than Dazai had lived the past couple years. It 's closer to the police station in downtown L.A, though far enough away to not be outrageously expensive. It 's a little odd to not have the smell of salt in the air as strongly when he goes outside. But it 's also kind of nice, the beach holds too many memories that Dazai would rather not dwell on.

The house is two stories with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. They 're a decent size, Dazai 's bedroom is about the same size it had been in his old apartment. Taneda 's room is on the second floor, and Dazai doesn 't go up there much. He sticks mostly to the first floor. At first he had felt like an intruder spending time in the main room, but his boredom had overtaken his propriety fairly quickly.

One of Dazai 's only sources of entertainment has been snooping around the house. Taneda is, well, strange. He has barely any decorations, and the decor he does have is mismatched and unusual. There also aren 't many pictures around the house. It 's hard to gauge much about the person living here just from looking around.

Probably the biggest surprise about his new living situation is how nothing has been all that awkward between them. Dazai had gone in with the mentality that this was a temporary arrangement and Taneda was just a means to an end. But Taneda has somehow won him over with his weird personality.

Dazai had been expecting him to be like Ango for some reason, uptight and serious. Instead Taneda is almost always smiling. He constantly makes jokes, even if he 's the only one who laughs at them. He and Dazai never talk about anything very serious. But Taneda 's energy is hard to resist. Dazai usually leaves the dinner table in a better mood than when he had sat down, despite the food always being very average. Taneda 's cooking is fairly basic. It mostly consists of pasta and various meats.

It 's strange how they almost never talk about music. Dazai is used to constantly discussing music or things related to music. Taneda doesn 't even have many albums around the house (and Dazai has done a thorough search of the place.) He seems to prefer books. The third bedroom of the house is used for Taneda 's home office (even though he usually ends up working at the dining room table or on the couch), and the walls in there are lined with full bookshelves.

Dazai 's focus on music hadn 't left him much time to read in the past, but now he 's working his way through Taneda 's personal library. Taneda always makes a point to ask him what he 's reading and tries to get him to read his favorite novels. Some days Dazai wakes up and wonders how in the world this became his life, living with a police officer and discussing literature over dinner.

The books are particularly handy in terms of helping him keep his mind occupied. It 's when he 's left with nothing to do that his thoughts start to wander into dangerous territory.

First up on Dazai 's mind tour of horrors is usually thinking about Odasaku. He tries to come up with ways he could have stopped him from ending up in the treatment center he 's at with no contact with the outside world. Thoughts about Oda lead to wondering about Kousuke, Katsumi, Yuu, Shinji and Sakura, the children Oda would probably never see again. They might never see each other again either, they 'd likely end up in different homes. Dazai had never even met the kids, but he can 't stop thinking about how they were being stripped of a parent who actually loved them and Dazai had let it happen.

When he 's done beating himself up about Odasaku he turns to berating himself for ignoring all of the warning signs about Ango 's deception. If Dazai had really been paying attention he could have put together the discrepancies in Ango 's stories and actions. But Dazai had liked being at the Lupin all together too much to follow up on the red flags. Sometimes he plays a game where he debates if he were in a room with Mori and Ango and only got to punch one of them in the face who would he hit (Mori wins but it gets very close.)

Eventually he always arrives at the worst subject, Chuuya Nakahara. Dazai still hasn 't let go of the anger he holds towards him for cutting him off after he left for Japan. And he 's equally angry about how Chuuya had pulled some sort of twisted test of loyalty in January that Dazai had failed because he didn 't even

know

about it. There 's also a new annoyance at Chuuya 's willingness to be a pawn for Port Mafia Records without question. Chuuya has chosen to place his faith in Ogai Mori, and that speaks volumes about his horrendous judge of character.

But much worse than his fury towards Chuuya is how much it aches at how they ended up like this, how they went from partners to nothing. Of all of his many regrets, his biggest one is how he should have fucking gotten on that plane to Japan.

When Dazai is at his lowest (which isn 't very often thankfully) he pulls out a slightly battered toothbrush, one of the only things he 'd kept when he 'd cleared out his apartment. He stares at that stupid plastic contraption and asks himself how the sound of someone 's voice can be both consoling and awful. The sound quality is abysmal through the speaker, but he isn 't likely to ever hear the real thing again.

So distracting himself has become essential. He just has to make it until next August before he 's set to sign with the Audio Detective Agency. Taneda hasn 't given him many details about Yukichi Fukuzawa other than that they 're friends and he 's supposably a good person. The concept of working for a

good person

has Dazai intrigued.

However, that 's still a year and four months away. That 's why he 'd purchased the instrument he 's currently holding. Dazai has never played much besides the guitar and the piano occasionally. But he has nothing but time on his hands to learn this one.

Dazai brings the mouthpiece of the saxophone up to his face, letting out an experimental noise. It rings out unpleasantly in his bedroom. Dazai smiles at the mediocre sound, he 's always loved a good challenge.

He 's gotten it to sound a little less like a dying animal when Taneda bursts into his room, not knocking for once.

'What in the blazes are you doing in here? ' asks Taneda. His voice is more confused than angry (not that Dazai has ever really seen him angry before.) He 's still wearing the clothes he slept in, although it 's late morning on a Saturday.

'Playing the saxophone, ' says Dazai simply, gesturing with the instrument as proof.

'Why? ' asks Taneda, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses.

'I 'm broadening my musical horizons, ' says Dazai with a large smile.

'Look, I know you 're bored, ' says Taneda, coming further into the room. 'But there are things you can do besides butcher a woodwind instrument. Or at least you could do it when I 'm at work. '

'What else am I supposed to do? ' asks Dazai, pouting slightly. 'I can 't get a job. My only skills are in music. And any job in the music industry is out of the question until I 'm no longer contracted to PMR. I 'm stuck. '

Taneda sighs. 'Dazai, have you never heard of ghostwriting? '

Dazai pauses, because he hadn 't really considered the idea. It 's been a long time since he actually tried to write a full song. He 'd given suggestions on others ', but he doesn 't think he 's written anything substantial since he 'd become an executive. He and Akutagawa had worked on a song together, but that had turned out to be nothing like everything else with him.

The idea is slightly intimidating. Dazai doesn 't doubt his own skills, music has never been particularly difficult for him. It 's the thought of being completely in charge, no Mori over his shoulder to seek approval from. No loudmouthed and opinionated redhead beside him to force him to make music that 'makes people feel something. '

The intimidation makes it even more appealing. This would be an even greater challenge than the saxophone (which Dazai still might dabble in when Taneda isn 't here to complain).

Dazai sets the saxophone down on his bed and gives Taneda a huge grin. 'Can my writer name be Obama Doozy? '

Taneda snorts but then fixes Dazai with a more serious look. 'This isn 't a joke. You could get into a lot of trouble if Port Mafia Records finds out and tries to say you broke your contract. '

'I was kidding, Taneda, ' says Dazai, rolling his eyes. 'Lighten up. I know how to choose a fake name. Osamu Dazai isn 't my birth name. '

Taneda raises his eyebrows at the information, and Dazai 's eyes widen. He hadn 't decided to say that. It had just slipped out. He had never told anyone that before. The only one who had known had been Mori. He hadn 't even told Chuuya when Chuuya had revealed his own last name was false.

Curse Taneda and his absurdly trustworthy nature. Dazai feels like he 's been duped into spilling his secrets. Is this why Taneda is such a good cop?

'Then surely you can come up with something better, ' says Taneda, voice amused. His smile is kind though. Then he blessedly changes the subject. 'Where did you even get that saxophone? '

'I bought it from the pawn shop down the street, ' says Dazai with a smirk. 'I got quite a deal on it. '

'I need more coffee, ' says Taneda. He shakes his head and walks towards the door. 'You want some, kid? '

Dazai can 't recall the last time someone called him kid (unless they were using it as an insult). It surprisingly doesn 't bother him. 'Sure, ' he says, getting up and following Taneda into the kitchen.

April 29, Two Years & Three Months Since the Release of Corruption

Possibly one of the best parts about being in France is that nobody here cares that it 's his birthday.

While Double Black had been just as popular in Europe, it 's been over two years since it came out and some of the fanfare has died out here. Falling Camellia had done well domestically but wasn 't as well known abroad. So Chuuya is still recognized fairly often, but it 's nothing compared to when he 's in L.A.

Chuuya doesn 't mind meeting fans anyway, never has. He 'd like it a little more if just fucking once someone 's favorite song wasn 't

Corruption

, but that 's unlikely.

He mostly hangs around the office and his rented house. Chuuya is finally getting somewhat better at French, but he still doesn 't go out all that much. He doesn 't know a lot of people outside of work. Plus he 's usually way too busy to do much exploring anyway. There had been a reason there used to be five executives, not that Chuuya is going to point that out.

The only person who 's said anything to him today about his birthday is Simone, and all she 'd given him was his usual mug of tea and a croissant. Chuuya should seriously give her a raise.

He 'll probably hear from his friends later on once it 's his birthday in L.A. He 'd tried to tell everyone to not make a fuss. But he does that every year, and it 's yet to actually work. Last year Kouyou had bought him a fucking boat of all things. It 's in a warehouse back home (because he has no idea how to drive a boat and doesn 't have the time to learn.)

Chuuya is determined not to let today be like last year. He has resolved that he will not think about the person who he used to celebrate with (and how the fuck had

his

birthday become about another fucking person?)

Chuuya is sitting at his desk in the morning and drinking his tea while reading his email when his office door is flung open, hitting the opposite wall with a bang. He 's extremely caught off guard. No one has ever barged into his office here before.

'

Happy birthday to you, '

sings motherfucking Motojiro Kajii as he steps through the doorway, He points at Chuuya as he sashays into the room with a huge grin on his face.

'

Happy birthday to you, '

sings Gin as she appears next. Her voice isn 't as polished as Kajii 's, it 's surprisingly girlish and sweet. Her smile is uncharacteristically big as she twirls into the room.

'

Happy birthday to Chuuuuuuuuya, '

croons Tachihara, sliding into the room on his knees. His voice on the other hand is very rough, but he belts out the words loudly with gusto.

'I 'm not doing this, ' says Ryuunosuke Akutagawa flatly, standing in the doorway and crossing his arms. He scowls at the other people in the room.

Kajii groans loudly and puts his heads in his hands. 'You are the definition of a killjoy, Little Gecko, ' whines Kajii as he lifts his head and glares at Akutagawa.

'I told you to stop calling me that, ' says Akutagawa crossly.

At that Chuuya can 't hold back his laughter anymore. He stands up and comes around the desk, helping Tachihara to his feet then pulling him into a hug. 'What the fuck are you guys doing here? ' he asks as he shoves Tachihara away to hug Gin next.

'A man 's nineteenth birthday is a very important rite of passage, ' says Kajii. He and Chuuya fist bump as a greeting.

Chuuya rolls his eyes. He doesn 't bother trying to greet Akutagawa. He 's still sulking in the doorway.

'We didn 't want to you be alone, ' says Gin. If anyone else had said it, it might have come off as pitying. But Gin makes it a straightforward fact.

'Plus, ' says Tachihara with a smirk, 'French vacation, baby. '

'And Hirotsu made us take our little apprentice, ' says Kajii, gesturing towards Akutagawa. Akutagawa 's scowl only deepens. 'He probably didn 't want to be stuck with the prince of darkness. '

'I am not your apprentice, ' says Akutagawa, in the tone of someone who has said the words many times before. He sighs and his frown lessens slightly as he looks at Chuuya. 'Happy birthday Executive Nakahara. '

'I can 't believe I used to think Gin was the uptight one, ' mutters Tachihara to Chuuya. Gin clearly hears him and socks him in the arm.

Chuuya smiles and shakes his head. 'Thanks Akutagawa. I still can 't believe you guys are here. Aren 't you supposed to be working on your albums? '

'To write one needs life experiences, ' says Kajii breezily. 'To remain in one place too long stifles the creativity. '

'Shut the fuck up, ' says Chuuya, but he 's laughing.

'Sorry, Mr. Nakahara, ' says Simone, appearing behind Akutagawa. 'I tried to stop them from barging in but was unable to. '

They all start laughing except Akutagawa.

'Don 't worry about it, Simone, ' says Chuuya, trying to contain his laughter. 'These idiots wouldn 't have listened to you. I 'm going to have to spend the rest of the day dealing with our unexpected guests. I 'll see you tomorrow. '

'Have a good time, sir, ' says Simone, just the hint of a smile present as she walks away.

'So, ' says Tachihara. 'Where to? '

A couple hours later they 're all on the beach in front of Chuuya 's house. The area is private property, and there 's not too many people on the beach in April anyway. None of them care though, they keep warm by moving around and drinking.

Gin, Tachihara, and Akutagawa are throwing a frisbee. Or rather Gin and Tachihara are throwing the frisbee at each other in the most difficult way they can so the other has to scramble and dive to catch it then Gin throws it to her brother once in a while.

Chuuya is sitting in one of the beach chairs with Kajii, watching them with a glass of wine in his hand. He laughs as Mich wipes out on the sand after Gin throws one way over his head.

Kajii snorts a bit too, sipping a beer. He stretches out in his chair, digging his toes into the sand. He keeps his voice casual as he asks the question Chuuya has been waiting for, but he keeps his volume low so no one else can hear them. 'So you really haven 't heard from the bandaged weirdo once since he left? '

Chuuya has to admire Kajii 's balls for asking him at the very least. 'Nope, ' answers Chuuya lightly. He takes a long drink of wine. 'And good riddance. '

'You two used to be, like, obsessed with each other, ' says Kajii, wrinkling his nose. 'It was kind of disgusting. '

'Fuck off, ' says Chuuya, but he 's laughing despite himself. If anyone other than Kajii had said it Chuuya would have been furious (or the infinitely more horrifying option of grim and melancholic). But there isn 't a speck of pity in Kajii 's tone. He 'd just been genuinely curious.

'How is your album coming along? ' asks Chuuya, changing the subject before his amusement can sour. 'Your new,

experimental

sound. '

'I can hear the mocking in your voice, pipsqueak, ' says Kajii, pointing his beer towards him in what is supposed to be a threat. 'Don 't think just because it 's your birthday that I won 't fuck you up. '

'Please, ' says Chuuya with a smirk. 'We both know I can hit harder than you. '

'My album is coming along excellently, ' says Kajii haughtily. 'I should thank whosever idea it was for me to go solo and spread my genius wings. '

'They probably don 't want your thanks, ' says Chuuya. He finishes off his wine and buries the glass in the sand slightly so it stays upright. 'They probably just felt sorry for Tachihara and Gin for having to deal with you and wanted to spare them the headaches. '

'You 've got a pretty sweet gig here, ' says Kajii, gesturing around them. 'Food, booze, hot French people. At first I thought you were crazy when I heard you picked this place instead of Paris. '

'It has its moments, ' says Chuuya with a slight shrug. This is definitely one of them.

'I think I might stick around, ' says Kajii casually, as if the thought has just come to him. 'The only thing I really need to write music is my brilliant mind after all. L.A. is too stuffy for me. '

'You 're staying? ' asks Chuuya, not able to keep the excitement out of his voice. 'How long? '

'Well, you 're here until the end of the summer, right? ' asks Kajii, giving Chuuya a smirk. 'I 'll just tag along when you go back. '

'You mean I 'm stuck with you until August? ' asks Chuuya, trying to sound annoyed about it.

'Oh, we are going to tear this city apart, Baby Red, ' declares Kajii, grinning with almost all his teeth.

'Looking forward to it, Lemon Fucker, ' says Chuuya, giving him an answering smile.

Kajii cackles and chugs the rest of his beer as the others come back to join them. Tachihara is slightly out of breath as he lays in the sand in front of them. Gin doesn 't look phased at all as she takes a seat on her towel. Akutagawa sits down next to her, though he looks less annoyed than he had been when they 'd first arrived.

'It has been way too long since the four of us have been together, ' says Kajii, his tone somewhere between mocking and sincere. 'We should commemorate this occasion somehow. '

'I know what we can do, ' says Tachihara immediately, smirking and raising his eyebrows.

'Not this again, ' says Gin, rolling her eyes.

'Why am I the only true Black Lizard left? ' asks Tachihara. He lets out a yelp of pain as Gin kicks him.

'What 's your big idea, Mich? ' asks Chuuya. It almost feels like they 're back on tour, hanging out after a show together. Chuuya hasn 't felt this content in ages.

'Tachihara, ' says Gin, and no one ever says his name with as much derision as she always manages to, 'Keeps trying to get me to get matching lizard tattoos with him. '

'

Black

lizards, ' corrects Tachihara, smirking at her. She rolls her eyes again.

'All tattoos are black unless you ask for a different color, ' says Gin flatly. It 's clear this is not the first time they 've discussed this.

'You expect me to mar my beautiful body with a reptile? ' asks Kajii, raising a hand to his chest in offense.

'I 'm in, ' announces Chuuya confidently. Everyone stops what else they were doing to look at him in surprise. 'There 's a bunch of tattoo shops around here we can go to. '

Tachihara 's face lights up. 'Birthday boy 's word is law! '

'I 'm not doing this, ' cuts in Akutagawa, looking even more unhappy than he had when he 'd first shown up in Chuuya 's office.

The rest of them burst out in laughter, Chuuya almost falling out of his chair with the force of it. Even Gin can 't help but giggle at her brother, having to lean against Tachihara to stay upright. Kajii is laughing probably the hardest.

The moment makes Chuuya smile so hard it almost hurts. This is much better than shutting himself up in his office would have been. He 's never cared much about presents, but this is way beyond what he could have asked for. It 's not his best birthday (that would be his seventeenth, which he is refusing to think about today), but it 's a very, very close number two.

Dazai spends April 29th taking the day off from songwriting, curling up on Taneda 's couch with a book and a cup of tea (even though he still doesn 't care for the beverage). And if later that night he watches old videos of a certain duo instead of sleeping, well no one has to know that.

Late May, Two Years & Four Months Since the Release of Corruption

Being in Marseilles has changed drastically since Kajii got here. While before Chuuya had barely spent any time in the city, now Kajii drags him out almost every night. Chuuya had eaten out and taken advantage of the French wine back when he was by himself, but now he is intimately familiar with all of the clubs and bars in Marseilles.

During the day Chuuya gets work done. He 's keeping things mostly afloat. The music related work is actually his easiest now. It 's the administrative things that take up more time. Kouyou is much better at this ass kissing stuff than he is, but he 's the one who 's in Europe. He has to visit other record companies and contacts out here to try and make connections for PMR. It 's usually only a day trip here or there. Kajii still whines and accuses him of abandoning him when he 's gone.

Chuuya likes to think that Kajii is working on his album during the day but doesn 't actually want to ask him about it. Chuuya had refused to let him stay with him, claiming that he 'd kill Kajii if he had to spend that much time with him. So Kajii has his own apartment, which he 'd picked to be closer to downtown than the beach.

Kajii still annoys the shit out of his constantly, but he can 't deny he 's having way more fun. Chuuya hadn 't know what to think of French nightlife at first, but now he genuinely has a great time. The music is more often than not just loud and full of bass, but Chuuya tries to not be a snob about it. Barely anyone ever cares about who they are when they 're out and in the middle of the dance floor with drinks in hand.

Unlike Chuuya, Kajii is refusing to learn French and is determined to get by on his 'wit and charisma. ' Chuuya had spit he 'd laughed so hard when Kajii had told him that. It 's working surprisingly well for him. He gets Chuuya to order for him when they get food or drinks, and then he manages to somehow persuade a never ending stream of people to go home with him. He almost never goes back to his apartment alone.

Chuuya has been in a good mood for the most part for weeks now, only ever faltering when thoughts about Dazai threaten to creep in. But Chuuya has kept them at bay with his new lifestyle of being constantly in motion.

Or he had been, until now. It 's interesting (in a fucked up kind of way) that last year he 'd barely reacted to the anniversary. He 'd meant it when Dazai had asked if whether he should come out there and he 'd said he was fine. He had been fine. It hadn 't been fucking fun, but he 'd dealt with it fairly easily.

This year is not going as well. It 's like his memories are on never-ending loop in his head. He 's barely slept the past couple days. He 's starting to get dark circles under his eyes.

Chuuya has lost both the people he could talk about this with. He 's certainly not going to talk to fucking Kajii about this shit. So he 's doing his best to force it down. He 'd come with Kajii to his favorite club tonight despite being kind of exhausted. Anything is better than being alone with his thoughts.

He 's dancing with a couple of blonde girls right now, drinking from his beer while swaying his hips to the beat (wine spills way too easily unfortunately, and Kajii had made him switch to beer after dousing him in red wine too many times). Chuuya has become very good at making fast friends while he 's out when Kajii flirts with people. Not that Chuuya minds, he 'd probably deck Kajii if he had to listen to his seductions up close. Or gag.

Most of the music that plays here is in French, and Chuuya is happy when he can follow along with some of it. A lot of it is remixes anyway, the tempos changed to be more upbeat. He 'd almost laughed the first time he 'd heard

Nausea

by Jean-Paul Sartre while out, the lyrics about existentialism blaring while people jumped up and down.

Chuuya is even more amused right now dancing to Jane Austen 's

Sense and Sensibility.

He 'll have to text Jane about this. She would love it. He wonders how she and the rest of Tachihara 's old crew are doing, it 's been a really long time since he 's seen them.

The air in the room abruptly shifts though as the next song starts playing. There 's no music to accompany the opening lines. Chuuya stands frozen as he hears his own voice blare out over the speakers.

'Oh grantors of dark disgrace

, ' plays out loudly. There are shrieks of joy around the room and almost everyone around him joins in on the second line, the noise practically deafening. '

Do not wake me again. '

The beat drops then, and Chuuya can 't even register the people jumping and screaming along to the song. His vision is fuzzy, and he 's vaguely aware that he 's moving. He doesn 't feel completely coherent again until he 's pushed his way to the bathroom, kneeling in one of the stalls in front of the toilet and emptying his stomach.

He 'd like to believe the tears that leak out of his eyes are just from the puke as he wipes them. Chuuya can still hear the song perfectly through the thin walls of the place. He coughs but doesn 't throw up again as Dazai 's voice rings out, and his breathing is shallow as he kneels on the gross bathroom floor.

He presses his hands to his eyes, trying to stop the slight trembling of his body. He 's disgusted with himself and his helplessness at a single fucking song, a song he has heard a million fucking times by now.

It 's about halfway through the next song when Chuuya has his shit together enough to exit the stall, flushing the puke down with shame. There 's another guy washing his hands at the sink, and he looks at Chuuya as he walks over, his glazed stare hard.

'Are you Chuuya Nakahara? ' asks the man, words slightly slurred.

'No, ' says Chuuya sharply, washing his hands quickly so he can get the fuck out of here.

The door to the bathroom opens before he can leave though, and Kajii walks in. His eyes find Chuuya, and he lets out a sigh under his breath.

'There you are, ' says Kajii, and his smile is blatantly fake. 'Let 's ditch, Baby Red. The music here is trash tonight. '

Any other night Chuuya would have fought him. He would have tried to play it off like it didn 't matter. He would have shoved the pity and lies away. But he just can 't right now. 'Sure, ' he answers, voice coming out a little thick.

'Are you Motojiro Kajii? ' asks the other man who 's still in the bathroom, now leaning against the counter. He 's staring at Kajii with raised eyebrows.

'You should go home, buddy, ' says Kajii dismissively, grabbing Chuuya 's arm and dragging him out of the club. Chuuya lets him, they dart around the other people to get to the exit. Chuuya finally shakes off Kajii 's grip as they get outside, his ears ringing slightly after being in the loud club so long.

Chuuya tries to take what he hopes is a subtle deep breath. The taste of bile in his mouth is making it hard to relax. It 's annoying that they 're too far away from the sea to hear or smell it.

'You can crash at my pad if you want, ' offers Kajii, tone still off. He 's so out of his element it 's almost funny. 'We 're only like a block away. '

Chuuya means to tell him no. Instead he says, 'Alright. '

They don 't talk at all as they walk to Kajii 's apartment. Kajii sets him up with a blanket and a pillow on the couch and Chuuya thanks him, trying to sound normal. Neither of them are at ease as Kajii leaves him to go into the bedroom. Chuuya hasn 't spent much time here, but he luckily falls asleep fairly quickly, a combination of the alcohol and how little he 's slept lately.

Chuuya regrets his choice of not going home deeply when he wakes up to Kajii shaking him, his expression somewhere between bewildered and disturbed.

Chuuya shoves him away as soon as he 's fully awake, both extremely embarrassed and strung out. He pulls the blanket closer to him, looking up at Kajii with a glare.

'You were fucking, like, thrashing around, ' says Kajii, hands still up in front of him.

'Yeah, it 's called a nightmare, ' says Chuuya, voice harsh. He stands up and walks over to the door to the balcony, opening it and stepping outside, slamming the door behind him.

He leans against the railing, taking in the city around him. It 's somewhere in-between night and day, the sky a blend of black with pink starting to creep in. Chuuya doesn 't know what the fuck to say to Kajii. He 's furious with himself for staying here in the first place. What had he been thinking?

Chuuya doesn 't know how long it 's been when he hears the door to the balcony open then shut again. Kajii comes up to next to him, offering him a plate.

'Do you want some scrambled eggs? ' he asks, tone cautious.

'What the fuck? ' asks Chuuya, too caught off guard to maintain his anger or shame or any of that. He looks at the plate of scrambled eggs incredulously.

'You 're clearly fucking upset, ' says Kajii, now slightly angry. 'And some people like food when they 're upset. And I don 't have anything else here! '

Kajii yelling at him and offering him scrambled eggs is too much. Chuuya grabs the offered plate, snorting over the ridiculousness. He eats the entire plate while Kajii watches, the other man staying unusually quiet. He stays that way even after Chuuya finishes and sets the plate down.

'What did you do before you worked for Port Mafia Records? ' asks Chuuya to break the silence. He keeps his gaze on the city instead of looking at Kajii.

'Not much, ' answers Kajii, not sounding surprised at the abrupt question or the subject. 'I had just finished high school when I got signed. My parents were just happy I was moving out. '

'I never knew my dad, but my mom is dead, ' says Chuuya, voice emotionless. He still doesn 't look at Kajii. 'She didn 't die peacefully. That 's what I was dreaming about. '

'That 's fucked up, ' says Kajii after a moment. 'Why are you telling me this? ' He sounds more confused than anything.

'Because I don 't want to ever have this conversation again, ' says Chuuya, turning to give him a serious expression. 'Don 't wake me up next time. '

'If that 's what you want, ' says Kajii with a shrug, seemingly unbothered by his request. 'I don 't remember you having this problem on tour. '

'It 's not always like this, ' says Chuuya, voice full of frustration now. 'It 's this fucking time of year. If I could just somehow fast forward life to June I fucking would. '

'So why don 't you? ' asks Kajii, raising an eyebrow.

'What do you mean? ' asks Chuuya, leaning against the railing but facing Kajii this time.

'You 're a god damn Port Mafia Records executive, ' says Kajii, rolling his eyes as if the answer is obvious. 'If you want to take time off, take time off. Don 't give any excuses. Just fucking do it. '

'Huh, ' says Chuuya, crossing his arms. He contemplates that for a second. 'See you in June then. Thanks for the eggs. ' He walks towards the balcony door, giving Kajii a final look as he does.

'Later, ' says Kajii, tone back to a more normal version, full of arrogance and smugness.

Chuuya rolls his eyes and doesn 't say anything else, shutting the door behind him and leaving Kajii out there alone. He leaves the apartment and heads back towards his house. But he doesn 't go inside when he gets there. Instead he walks out onto the beach, sitting down right next to the waves.

Realistically, he knows he can 't tell the difference between the Mediterranean Sea and the Pacific Ocean, but something about it never feels quite the same. For a single second, he wishes he hadn 't broken the Petrus that had held a bit of it. He dismisses the wish quickly, he 's got enough to deal with right now without adding that to it.

Chuuya pulls out his phone and dials a number he hasn 't called since October. He waits as it rings, knowing he isn 't going to get an answer. The sound of the voice on the answering machine makes him clutch the phone tighter.

'You 've reached Arthur Rimbaud, ' comes the deep voice through the phone. 'I 'm unable to take your call right now. Leave your name and number, and I will return your call shortly. '

Chuuya had made the impulsive decision to move Arthur 's cell phone to his personal expenses instead of canceling it back when he was in Japan. He hadn 't thought about it much since then, but right now he just really fucking needs someone to talk to.

'Hey, Arthur, ' says Chuuya into the phone, smiling at how foolish this whole thing is, but he can 't deny how much it 's helping. 'It 's been a while. I 've got a lot to catch you up on. Marseilles is just as beautiful as you said it was. '

'What is your problem? ' asks Taneda. His usual smile is gone, now replaced with a serious expression. His eyes are hard as he looks at Dazai.

'I don 't have a problem, ' answers Dazai cheerfully, giving him a humongous smile. It 's not even a tiny bit sincere.

'Drop the act, ' commands Taneda cooly. 'You 've been a brat for days now, and I 've tried to ignore it. But it doesn 't seem to be going away. So what 's the issue? '

Dazai scowls, crossing his arms and staring at the ceiling of his bedroom. He 's glaring at it from his spot on the bed while Taneda confronts him from the doorway. Dazai hadn 't expected this, even though he

has

been a brat lately.

'Did your detective instincts tell you something is wrong? ' asks Dazai with a sneer, sitting up again. 'It 's not enough that I 'm stuck here. Now you want me to act like I 'm happy about it. '

'I don 't want you to act like anything, Dazai, ' says Taneda, not reacting to Dazai 's attempts at a taunt. He sighs and looks at the ground. 'I 'm not your jailer. I 'm not your anything really. I offered you a place to stay here because I thought you could use a hand getting out from under PMR 's thumb. ' He looks up again at Dazai with a slight frown. 'But you 're welcome to leave any time. I can help you find somewhere else to stay if that 's what you want. '

Dazai feels the fight leave him at the offer. That isn 't what he wants, it isn 't even close. What he does want is to someone go back in time and pry Chuuya out of his mother 's hands before she could sink her claws and lies into him.

But Dazai can 't tell Taneda about this. It isn 't his story to tell. Chuuya might have broken off their partnership, but Dazai would never betray his trust like that. Not about this. He would never tell another soul about it. Dazai would just have to bear with the terrible anger this time of year brings out in him in silence.

He hadn 't expected it to hit him as harshly this year with how things had dissolved between him and Chuuya. But that had somehow made it even worse. It isn 't fair that he has to sit here and practically give himself an ulcer over someone who loathes him.

But he can 't stop picture Chuuya on that beach in Chicago, the way he had said

I still can 't stop believing I 'm what she told me I am

after staring at a lake by himself for hours. He can 't stop thinking about how night after night he 'd had to wake Chuuya up after playing

Corruption,

how he had held him close and wished that he could have the dreams instead just for even one night to give Chuuya a break.

Dazai had never been able to do anything substantial to spare Chuuya from any of that pain, and now he can 't do anything at all. His uselessness has made him tense, and that 's why he 's been lashing out. All of these negative thoughts have left him off balance with no where to put any of his turmoil.

But there is someone more deserving of his fury than Taneda, someone who Dazai hates perhaps even more than Mori. An idea comes to him.

'That isn 't what I want, ' says Dazai. He gives Taneda a searching look. 'Taneda, you 're a cop. I am aware that grave desecration is a crime, but how strictly is that enforced? Can I just slightly damage someone 's grave? '

Taneda looks baffled at the change in subject. 'It is very strictly enforced. Any damage at all is prosecuted. '

'I see, ' says Dazai, bringing a hand under his chin. 'Does verbal assault count as desecration? '

'No, ' says Taneda, still looking very confused and now slightly concerned. 'You can 't be arrested for verbally assaulting a grave. '

'Got it, ' says Dazai, standing up and starting to wrap himself up in his going out disguise. 'I have somewhere I have to be. I 'll be less bratty when I get back. '

'Do you need a ride? ' asks Taneda. His brows are furrowed as he looks at Dazai, but he doesn 't question him further.

'I 'll be fine, ' says Dazai, waving a hand dismissively. He quickly finishes getting ready and sets out for a graveyard across town. He uses the walk to prepare what he wants to say.

He finally reaches the grave in question and wonders how long it 's been since someone else visited it as he looks at the name, Fuku Kashimura. He highly doubts Chuuya ever comes here. And Chuuya had told him his mother hadn 't been in contact with any of their other family.

'Hello, Ms. Kashimura, ' says Dazai formally. 'I 'm here to inform you that you are a piece of trash. Actually, I believe trash is too good for you. You are worse than garbage. I 'm not sorry you're dead. You were a stain upon this earth. '

'He deserved better than you, ' continues Dazai. For once he doesn 't try to hide his emotions, he lets his anger and devastation show in full force. 'You were his parent. You were supposed to protect him, not make him a weapon against himself. How could you not see how clearly very, very human he was? '

'You didn 't break him, ' says Dazai, his eyes watering slightly. 'He grew up to be a phenomenal singer, the best voice I 've ever heard. The music he writes is breathtaking and a gift to listen to. Every crowd he plays for instantly loves him. '

'And he 's kind, ' says Dazai softly so his voice doesn 't break. 'He 's kind, and he 's caring, and he 's brave. He isn 't afraid to be honest even when it 's difficult. He 's far too loyal and he keeps foolishly putting his trust in the worst people possible, but that isn 't entirely his fault. '

'Thank you for listening, ' finishes Dazai coldly. 'Enjoy hell. Congratulations on earning my eternal hatred when we 've never even met. I 'll likely see you one year from now. '

Dazai walks away, feeling a multitude of things as he does. But overall, he does feel a bit lighter. He resolves to put all of this behind him. Dazai has always been fairly good at compartmentalizing, this will just put that to the test. At the very least he's going to be much nicer to Taneda.

June, Two Years, Four Months, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya comes back from his time off with a new goal. Instead of going to the office the first day of June, he goes to Kajii 's apartment instead. He knocks on the door rapidly and forcefully when he gets there, slightly impatient. He 's been stewing over the idea for days now.

'The fuck, ' says Kajii as he opens the door. He glares at Chuuya. 'What do you want? '

'Let me produce your album, ' says Chuuya, pushing past him to enter the apartment. He doesn 't phrase it as a question.

'Did you hit the sauce too hard while you were away? ' asks Kajii, clearly not agreeing to Chuuya 's semi-demand without convincing. 'You 're not a producer. '

'I wasn 't a songwriter either, but I won five Grammys when I was sixteen, ' says Chuuya, not faltering in his assuredness. 'Let me produce your album. '

'Why? ' asks Kajii, putting up his hands in obvious confusion.

Chuuya had thought about what had been different between this year and last year, what had made him go so off the rails. Arthur and Dazai 's absences had been contributing factors, but that hadn 't been the root cause. Arthur and Dazai had both helped him to feel human (well, Dazai more so than Arthur, but that 's not the fucking focus right now), but before that he 'd had something else.

Even when he had been playing mediocre pop with The Sheep, the music had made him feel more settled, more like himself. Or the version of himself he wants to be. Chuuya doesn 't love who he 's become since last August, this uncreative person who sits back and does paperwork while others take the spotlight. Chuuya has never been in music for the fame but the way the songs make him feel.

He still can 't face writing an album for himself about his own life, so helping his '

friend

(and ugh, it is not easy to admit that 's what Kajii is to him now) is the next best thing. Chuuya had a blast playing with The Black Lizards after he and Kajii got over themselves. They aren 't as different when it comes to music as he 'd first thought. They both have a wild streak that Tachihara and Gin have a little of but not to the same extent. Chuuya is confident that he and the Lemon Fucker know each other well enough now that they can make something really great together, even if they butt heads the entire time.

'I want to write music again, ' says Chuuya calmly. He meets Kajii 's eyes with confidence. 'I know I can help you can make your album great. '

'So write your own fucking album, ' says Kajii, scowling at him. 'Don 't piggyback on mine. '

'You 're struggling with it, aren 't you? ' asks Chuuya, voice just slightly taunting. 'That 's why you 're really here. You 're fucking stuck, and you don 't want to admit it. '

'Watch yourself, Baby Red, ' warns Kajii darkly. He glares at Chuuya.

Chuuya doesn 't back down. 'I 'm right, aren 't I? But I can help you. Writing for a solo artist is different than for a band. I know how it works. And I 've always been better at the subtleties of music than you, and you know that. '

Kajii laughs harshly. 'What gives the idea that I 'd want to work with you again? ' he asks dismissively. 'I had enough of you trying to order me around in The Black Lizards. '

'We get each other now, ' says Chuuya, crossing his arms. 'I 'm not going to try to tame you this time. You 're still going to be in charge. But I can help you take the feelings and ideas you have and make it into something intricate and nuanced. ' Chuuya smiles at Kajii despite his visible reluctance. 'We can make a fucking extraordinary album, ' says Chuuya, voice almost smug. 'I know that 's what you want, a number one album. '

'Hirotsu is my producer, ' says Kajii hesitantly. He 's clearly at war with himself based on his facial expression.

Chuuya has to force down a smirk. He 's totally got him. 'That old geezer loves me, ' he says with a shrug. 'I can ask him to shift it over to me easily. '

'I am in charge, ' declares Kajii, pointing a finger for emphasis. 'Not you. What I say goes. '

'Within reason, ' agrees Chuuya, letting just a hint of a smile show.

'Within reason? ' repeats Kajii with a dramatic groan. 'Why the fuck am I agreeing to this? I already hate it. '

'Do you want an ego stroke or a bestseller? ' asks Chuuya, now smiling fully.

'Oh, shut the fuck up with your arrogant little pitch bullshit, ' says Kajii irritably, rolling his eyes. 'You already know I 'm going to do it. I am going to regret this. I know it. '

'Let 's get to work, Lemon Fucker, ' says Chuuya, grinning widely at him. Kajii lets out another huge groan, but goes to get his sheet music.

June 19, Nearly Two Years & Five Months Since the Release of Corruption

Dazai 's nineteenth birthday passes the same as most of his other days have. He gets up, he pours himself a cup of coffee from the pot Taneda had brewed when he left at the crack of dawn that morning. He drinks the coffee while working on his latest song. He reads a bit of the book he 's started, a collection of poems called Walking By Myself Again (not his usual pick, but Taneda had highly recommended it.)

It 's quiet, peaceful. It 's much more pleasant than his birthday had been last year when he 'd spent the entire day working. Sure, the day had had one minor bright spot, but besides that it had been rather lousy. One gift hadn 't changed that. And anyway, he 's decided that his attachment to that particular gift is misguided (he still can 't bring himself to actually throw it away, but he 's buried it in one of the drawers of his room.)

After the whirlwind year he 's had, he doesn 't scoff at a calm and uneventful birthday. Dazai had never liked celebrating his birthday much. When he 'd been younger his parents had always thrown extravagant parties that were more for their friends than for Dazai. Then when he 'd gotten older they 'd just given him expensive presents he had no interest in. He 'd kind of hated his birthday before he 'd started getting songs as presents (which he is

not thinking about today.)

So Dazai is satisfied with how he 'd spent the day that night when Taneda calls him for dinner. He can smell the food before he gets in the room, grilled cheese and tomato soup from a can (Dazai eats home-cooked food, but he 's not quite sure he eats healthier than before.)

Dazai is surprised by the sight of a cake on the table though. It 's covered in colorful frosting with balloons and dancing animals. He looks from the cake to Taneda and raises his eyebrows.

'Dazai, ' says Taneda, crossing his arms and giving him a very disapproving look (for a moment Dazai has a flashback to being on the end of a very similar look from Hirotsu). 'Why did I have to find out it was your birthday from a Google alert? '

Dazai laughs a little. 'I 've never been a big birthday person, ' he says flippantly. He comes closer to inspect the cake, dipping a finger in the frosting and eating it. It 's very sweet, which makes Dazai smile widely.

'I picked that up on the way home, ' says Taneda, frowning at Dazai when he takes another swipe of frosting with the same finger. 'It was the only cake they had. '

'Come on, Taneda, ' says Dazai, smile shifting to more of a half-smirk. 'This cake totally screams nineteen. '

Taneda smacks his hand when he goes for a third round of frosting. 'At least humor me and eat a morsel of the actual meal I made. '

'Of course, chef, ' says Dazai solemnly, saluting as he takes a seat at the table. He takes a huge bite of his grilled cheese to drive the point home.

Taneda snorts, dipping his own sandwich in his soup. 'How was your day? Did the songwriting bug bite? ' He asks Dazai this nearly every day.

'The writing was decent, ' answers Dazai. He 's sold multiple songs since he started ghostwriting in March, but none of them have been released yet. It 's frustrating not being involved in the recording process to be able to speed it up. He tries to just keep cranking out songs to curb his impatience.

'That 's good, ' says Taneda. He never speaks much about his own work, not that Dazai asks him about it. He likes that he doesn 't have to put on many acts in front of Taneda and that he doesn 't expect him to fake interest in his career.

Dinner isn 't that different than usual except for the giant slice of cake Dazai eats after he finishes his grilled cheese. Taneda takes a much smaller piece. But Taneda doesn 't draw more attention to his birthday than that. Dazai is thoroughly relieved.

The only other thing out of the ordinary that happens is Dazai gets a text after dinner when he 's back in his room and reading. His phone had rang and messages had poured in after he first left PMR, but that had died off after a while. Now he almost never gets texts, except for a couple when Taneda had stayed at work late and let he know dinner was off that night.

Dazai picks up his phone, throat a little dry. It only lasts a second, but for that single second he lets himself hope that the text is from the person who he 's been actively trying not to think about all day.

The actual sender of the text is a huge surprise in a different way though. Dazai can 't hold back the huge smile he gets as he reads it.

[8:04pm Odasaku]: Happy birthday Dazai! I hope you have a great day. I miss you, but I 'll see you once I get out of here. I heard that you left PMR, I 'm proud of you.

Dazai has never doubted whether he made the right decision to leave PMR, but Oda 's approval makes him more secure than ever about it. He wants to be the kind of person who Oda, who tries endlessly to do good, can respect. He hadn 't been that type of person before, but he 's determined to be one now.

He grins as he types out his response,

Thanks Odasaku! :D

Dazai doesn 't get a reply, but he doesn 't care. Once again his only worthwhile birthday presents come in a form he hadn 't see coming. But a store-bought cake and text are priceless as far as he 's concerned. The day doesn 't have the extreme highs that his past few birthdays had had, but his nineteenth is far from crummy.

Chuuya gets through his day with little fanfare on June 19th. He 's actually fairly productive. He gets through a couple phone calls, writes up some suggestions on Hakushu Kitahara 's new album, and badgers Kajii into making some progress on his album.

It 's been a couple weeks now, and he and Kajii are starting to get into a rhythm. Chuuya had actually been extremely impressed at the songs Kajii had showed him. They had been way deeper than what he would have expected Kajii to write on his own based on his personality. But the lyrics are filled with clever imagery and subtle brilliance. Chuuya had asked him if he was really the one who 'd written them when he 'd first read them. Kajii had thrown a pillow at him from his spot on the couch.

Chuuya 's good mood lasts until he 's alone in his house, having told (lied) to Kajii that he 's a got a bunch of stuff to do tonight and can 't babysit him in music or at the bar. But Chuuya 's plans for the night consist of no actual work. Instead he makes himself a cup of tea and sips it while he lies on the couch in his living room, his laptop open in front of him.

It 's been over four months now since Dazai had left. It 's been over five months since he 's spoken to him in person. That 's not a short amount of time. That 's over twenty weeks, over one-hundred fifty days. That 's enough time that Chuuya should feel some sort of distance from him, that he shouldn 't still feel this persistent and aggravating bond between them.

As opposed to himself who had always had hoards of people bullying him into celebrating his birthday, the only person who had ever really pushed Dazai about his had been Chuuya. Chuuya doesn 't want to care about whether Dazai has anyone to celebrate with today. He wants to not give a shit whether he 's alright or not.

Chuuya remembers being fifteen and thinking that losing The Sheep would be a loss he would never recover from. He 'd thought of his former bandmates as his family. And if he 's being

very

honest with himself, he still holds a special place in his heart for those assholes, for the kids who had taken him in and given him a home in dingy basements they 'd filled with lackluster songs.

Chuuya holds way more hatred for Dazai than had ever had for any of the members of The Sheep. Yet here he is, wasting his time in an idiotic display of 'he actually has no idea what to call this.

Instead of spending that night doing his job or writing music or going out with Kajii, Chuuya spends it listening to Natsume Soseki and Murasaki Shikibu alone. He gives himself a break from his fury and just listens to the music that even the pickiest person he knows hadn 't been able to deny was good. He 's not sure what it means.

The next day he acts like nothing ever happened.

July, Two Years & Five and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya isn 't even really paying attention when the song starts. He has his favorite radio station on from L.A. as background noise as he attempts to clean his house. He 's been letting it get slightly dingy since he 's been spending so much time at Kajii 's.

The album is really coming along now. Chuuya hasn 't been this excited about music in forever. When they finally get a song perfect Chuuya feels on top of the world. It 's just slightly less exciting than performing on stage. He had never felt this invested in Falling Camellia. Unlike then, he feels connected to this music.

Kajii actually doesn 't fight him as much as he 'd thought he would. He seems to trust Chuuya more than he had when they 'd first collaborated (although that word doesn 't feel entirely accurate, it isn 't antagonistic enough.) But now he lets Chuuya try his ideas without complaining incessantly. Kajii 's main focus is that they don 't change the lyrics or what he calls the 'atmosphere ' of the song (he 's still fucking crazy.)

Chuuya doesn 't push him to alter any of that stuff. He concentrates on making the music flow and underscore the essence of the song instead of distracting from it. He 's been playing the piano constantly again, the keys still flowing under his fingers easily. It 's one of the only things his mom had given him that isn 't tainted in some way, the instrument always feels right.

But it 's not one of Kajii 's songs that startles Chuuya while he 's in the middle of clearing his living room of all the clutter that 's accumulated in it. It 's a song he 's never heard before. Something about it just catches his attention, his ears automatically tune into it.

He doesn 't move as he listens to the song in its entirety. His sense of apprehension only grows. Once it 's over he pulls out his phone, quickly typing in the song 's name and searching for the details about it.

It 's called

Run, Melos!

and it 's by an artist named Friederich Schiller. Chuuya knows of him, he 'd liked his album The Robbers from a couple years ago. But Chuuya keeps scrolling until he gets to who is listed as the writers of the song. One name stand out in particular, Earl Mackenzie.

It takes him a second to put it together. Earl Mackenzie, erel mack, mackerel. It 's a code that only Chuuya would understand. It had been a private nickname, too nonsensical to explain or use in front of anyone else. And Chuuya would recognize Dazai 's songwriting anywhere, his patterns of expertly crafted harmonies and almost too perfect compositions.

Several thoughts come to him in rapid succession. The first: thank fucking shit he isn 't dead in a ditch somewhere. The next: he is not going to be the one to inform Mori, he would rather rip off his fingers and never touch a piano again. Then lastly and most vehemently:

that bastard.

Chuuya spikes his phone into the floor in rage, smashing it and sending the pieces flying. The rooms is even messier now. He doesn 't care, possibly angrier now than he had been when he 'd first left.

Dazai 's first ghostwritten song

finally

comes out after months of waiting.

Run, Melos!

is partially based on an old Greek legend he 'd read from Taneda 's library. He 'd been pleasantly surprised when Friedrich Schiller had picked it up as a single. It 's been well-received so far critically and is getting decent radio play. It 's not

Corruption-

level success, but that song could rot in hell as far as Dazai is concerned.

'I think I like it, ' says Taneda, who Dazai is playing the song for. Although he doesn 't place much stock in Taneda 's taste in music, especially if it 's anything like his peculiar taste in books. 'I 'm not sure I understand all of it. '

'Music is in the eye of the beholder, ' says Dazai, with a shrug. He 's smiling though. 'Or the ear of the beholder rather. '

Taneda laughs at the joke (and that gives Dazai the rather horrible concern that Taneda 's terrible sense of humor is rubbing off on him.) 'Good work, kid. Nice to know you 're good for something besides mooching off me. '

'Very supportive, Taneda, ' says Dazai cheerily, pressing pause on his phone. Friedrich 's voice cuts off in the outro.

'You can call me Santoka, you know, ' says Taneda, surprising him. Dazai looks up at him to see Taneda grinning at him. The expression is completely sincere. 'Only my detectives at work call me Taneda."

'I don 't like to be called Osamu, ' says Dazai slowly. 'Not by anyone. '

'That 's not what I meant, ' says Taneda, or 'Santoka. He shakes his head, but his eyes are still kind as they meet Dazai 's. The look makes something in Dazai falter.

'My birth name was Osamu Tsushima, ' says Dazai, a name he hasn 't spoken since he was fourteen. He doesn 't add the rest of the story, how the name Osamu makes him think of his parents. How Dazai is the name he 'd chosen, the name he thinks of as his own.

Dazai had never considered telling Odasaku this, his most loyal friend. Or Chuuya, his 'actually choosing a descriptor for Chuuya is something he has no interest in.

And Santoka Taneda isn 't his friend. Dazai doesn 't talk to him like a friend. But Dazai knows without any doubt that he 'll keep this information to himself. Perhaps that 's why Dazai had felt he could tell him.

'Dazai suits you better anyway, ' says Santoka easily.

The smile Dazai gives him in response is possibly one of the most honest he 's ever given.

August, Two Years, Six Months, & Two Weeks Since the Release of Corruption

The feeling Chuuya gets as he steps out of the PMR plane in L.A. is amazing. He 's

home

. It feels like it 's been a lifetime since he 's been back. The sound of the city around him is better than any music he can think of right now. Chuuya can 't hold back the huge grin on his face as he walks down the steps.

'Why is it so bright here? ' asks Kajii from behind him, voice slightly hoarse.

Kajii had decided to spend their last night in Marseilles 'going out with a bang. ' He 'd called Chuuya lame when he 'd stayed home to pack up all his stuff. Chuuya had felt very vindicated about his choice when Kajii had shown up for their flight with an awful hangover and was still in a crabby mood after a twelve and a half hour plane ride.

Chuuya had spent the trip finalizing their recording schedule for Kajii 's album, The Literary City (which Kajii had picked the title for, Chuuya still sucks at coming up with them). All the writing is pretty much finished. There 's just some final tweaks to be made, and they can sound those out better while recording anyway.

Mori has been very supportive of the project the entire time since Chuuya told him about it. He 's arranged for them have all the studio time they need immediately. He 's even been lightening Chuuya 's other workload so he can devote more of his time to it. It seems like Mori is less displeased with Chuuya for refusing to do his own album as long as this one turns out well. Not that Mori has ever voiced that out loud.

Hirotsu 's reaction to Chuuya taking over the album had been more dumbstruck. His exact words when Chuuya had asked had been, 'Is this a prank? ' He hadn 't believed Chuuya and Kajii would be willingly working together. But he 'd given up his role of his producer with little argument. He still checks on their progress once in a while though, and Chuuya is happy to bounce ideas off him.

Kouyou, meanwhile, thinks Chuuya is wasting his talent on someone who doesn 't deserve it. She 's never hid her scorn for Motojiro Kajii. Chuuya doesn 't blame her, he had used to share that scorn. She still makes snippy comments about him whenever Chuuya talks to her. But she has been fully supportive of Chuuya getting back into being directly involved in music, she just thinks he should choose a different recipient.

Maybe if Kajii hadn 't been right in front of his face when he was practically bursting with the need to make something he wouldn 't have picked him. But Chuuya doesn 't regret his decision, he 's excited about this music in a way he never had been with The Black Lizards. It feels like he 's poured more of himself into it.

Chuuya goes straight to the office rather than to his dorm, letting some random PMR employee handle taking his stuff there. Kajii skips out to go sleep, and Chuuya mocks him and calls him a baby as they part ways.

Walking into the Port Mafia Records ' office feels even better than getting off the plane had. As opposed to his time in France, there practically isn 't a person that he passes who doesn 't talk to him. He 's swamped with welcomes and greetings. It takes him almost an hour before he makes it up to the executive suite. Chuuya is sure it would have taken even longer if The Black Lizards weren 't stuck in a practice session.

But instead of walking towards Kinoshita 's old office (Chuuya hasn 't been in it enough to think of it as his own), he knocks on a different door. Kouyou immediately calls for him to come in.

Chuuya opens the door with probably a little too much enthusiasm, he barely stops it from crashing into the wall. He 's too excited though. Kouyou watches from her spot behind her desk, arms crossed.

'If you had taken any longer our tea would have gone cold, ' are Kouyou 's first words to him after not seeing him for seven months.

Chuuya snorts and walks across the room to greet her properly. He and Kouyou aren 't very physically affectionate people, but Chuuya wraps her up in a hug anyway. She gives him a small squeeze back before pushing him away.

Chuuya takes a seat across the desk from her, picking up the cup of tea in front of him. Kouyou 's office isn 't the same one he 'd spent so much time in when he was fifteen, but the layout is practically identical. The room is just a little bigger, and there 's a better view out the windows. Chuuya hadn 't known it was possible to be homesick for an office until this moment.

'Where 's your musical parasite? ' asks Kouyou, drinking her own tea. Her tone is somewhere between amused and demeaning.

Chuuya shakes his head, catching himself before he rolls his eyes (he hasn 't had to use Kouyou-level manners in a while.) 'Kajii will be in tomorrow. Not everyone can bounce back from international travel that fast. '

'Anyone with proper self-control can, ' says Kouyou mildly. But then she switches to a more neutral tone. 'You 're set to start recording soon then? '

'Tomorrow, actually, ' says Chuuya, glad to not have to talk about Kajii further. He finds Kouyou 's barbs funny for the most part, but he 's also rather proud of the music they 've made. He doesn 't like when Kouyou puts it down.

'It 's good that you 're back, ' says Kouyou, just a small smile showing. 'It was way too quiet around here. The only person I 've had to converse with who isn 't an idiot is Mori. '

Chuuya almost chokes on his tea. Kouyou has never been that complementary of the boss before. 'You 've been conversing with Mori? ' he asks cautiously.

'I didn 't exactly have a choice what with you gone and Dazai having vanished, ' says Kouyou. Chuuya is almost surprised enough that the name barely makes him flinch. 'I certainly wasn 't going to talk to

Ace.

'

'So you 've made peace then? ' asks Chuuya, disbelief clear in his voice. 'With the boss? '

'No, ' says Kouyou shortly, her mouth in a thin line. 'Peace isn 't the word I 'd use. He 's still much too devious for me to be completely at ease around him. '

'But, ' continues Kouyou after a moment, sighing, 'Perhaps my previous dismissals of him were from a rather short-sighted point of view. It isn 't easy to spearhead one of the biggest record companies in the world, and Mori 's craftiness is unmatched. I 've had to work fairly closely with him these past months, and it 's been an illuminating experience. '

'You respect him now, ' says Chuuya, still shocked at this turn of events.

Kouyou 's frown becomes more pronounced. 'Yes, ' she says the word with almost revulsion. 'Let 's talk about something less taxing before I kick you out to get some work done. Some of us executives don 't get a free pass to goof off in Marseilles for half a year. '

'I made long-lasting relationships with many people in the music industry while I was there, ' protests Chuuya. He 'd cross his arms if he wasn 't holding his teacup with one of his hands.

'I might not be as popular as you around PMR, but I do hear things, ' says Kouyou, raising her eyebrows. 'I know how you 've been spending your evenings. '

Chuuya is open to discussing many things with Kouyou, but his escapades in Europe are not included in those things.

He finishes off the rest of his tea in a long gulp. 'Anyway, thanks for the tea, Kouyou, ' says Chuuya quickly. 'Great to see you. I 'll let you get back to work. '

Kouyou actually laughs out loud at his attempt to escape. 'Welcome home, Chuuya, ' says Kouyou warmly.

'Thanks, ' says Chuuya, smirking at her as he leaves the office. He then heads to his own office. The air feels slightly stale when he opens the door. No one has obviously been in here for a long time.

Chuuya pulls out his phone and sends an email requesting someone clean the place a bit at the earliest opportunity. One of the perks of being back in L.A. is he now has access to things like that again. Although he is going to miss Simone. It had been nice having someone attempt to keep his schedule in order for him and answer the calls he didn 't want to take.

Chuuya moves over to his desk, the one Kinoshita had left behind. Chuuya hadn 't tried to change anything since he 'd left. He 'd accepted his promotion without thinking much about all the things it came with. Chuuya hadn 't even had an office before. He had just been one of PMR 's musicians, he hadn 't needed one.

He 's got ideas for this place. Chuuya hadn 't spoken to Kinoshita much, but his decor leaves much to be desired. His first order of business after getting rid of all the dust is getting a piano in here somehow. Next will be less old and stiff furniture. The desk chair looks about as comfortable as sitting against sandpaper.

Chuuya is debating other changes when his door opens, surprising him. This floor is only accessible by an executive keycard or permission. But the person who enters has more access to all of PMR besides only Mori.

'Chuuya, ' Elise practically shrieks, half-running towards him.

'Hey, kiddo, ' says Chuuya with a huge smile, catching her as she jumps into his arms. He 's disturbed to find out that at thirteen she 's just a couple inches shorter than him now. Chuuya has pretty much accepted the fact that he 's going to be on the short side, but that doesn 't mean he appreciates people way younger than him literally looking down on him.

'Oh my god, ' says Elise as she lets go of him. She doesn 't move far though, and she takes both his hands in hers. 'I have so much to tell you! I can 't believe you were gone so long. It 's been so boring without you. Never leave for that long again. ' The last sentence comes out almost as a command.

Chuuya laughs. 'I go where they tell me. How about we do lunch tomorrow? Just you and me? '

'That sounds perfect, ' says Elise happily, squeezing his hands a bit too tightly. She thankfully lets go of them then. Her expression becomes more serious. 'I missed you. '

'Yeah, I missed you too, ' says Chuuya, smiling at her. He 's had a major soft spot for her for years now. He knows almost no one else at PMR treats her like her own person or like the kid she is. He 'd felt a little guilty every time they 'd talked when he was in Marseilles and he 'd asked her what was new and she didn 't have much to say.

'I have something to tell you, ' says Elise, lowering her voice. 'But you can 't tell anyone else, not even Mori. '

'What? ' asks Chuuya, slightly nervous but mostly intrigued.

'I quit playing the piano, ' confesses Elise quietly with a troubled look on her face. 'I 'm not very good at it, and I don 't really like it.

Chuuya tries not to burst out in laughter because she 's so obviously distressed, but he can 't help it. 'You say it like you 've committed a crime, ' he says in between his laughter.

Elise pouts at him, throwing up her hands in frustration. 'You 're all so musically talented! That 's what people respect around here. No one is going to take me seriously if I can 't even play a single instrument. '

'Elise, ' says Chuuya, shaking his head, getting his laughter under control to be more sincere. 'No one gives a shit if you can play music or not. People will respect you if you act worthy of that respect, even if you can 't play a thing. '

'Nobody respects Ace, ' says Elise, though she looks a little less upset.

'That 's because Ace is a jackass, ' says Chuuya dismissively. He wonders if he should be swearing this much in front of her, but he 'd already been saying much worse when he was her age.

Elise smiles then, looking very relieved. 'Thanks, Chuuya, ' she says earnestly (and shit, she is growing up if she 's that genuinely worried about losing people 's respect over musical ability). 'I 'll let you get settled in. Mori told me not to bother you, but I couldn 't wait. '

'Screw what he says, ' says Chuuya with a smirk. 'Bother me anytime you want. '

She surprises him by hugging him again. 'I 'm happy you 're back, ' she whispers as she practically crushes him.

'Yeah, me too, ' replies Chuuya, ruffling her hair like he used to when she was much smaller.

She pushes him away and scowls at him, so she clearly isn 't

that

grown up. 'Soon enough you 're not going to be able to even reach my hair, ' says Elise snootily.

Chuuya rolls his eyes. 'What were you saying about leaving me to get settled? '

Elise snickers and walks towards the door. But she turns back one more time before she leaves. 'Lunch tomorrow? ' she asks.

'Lunch tomorrow, ' confirms Chuuya.

She gives him another huge smile then exits the office. Chuuya smiles to himself as he watches her go. So much has changed over the past year, but one thing has remained constant. Port Mafia Records is still the place that makes him feel like he belongs, regardless of how a couple of people were no longer there.

Chuuya finishes up his inspection of his office before deciding to head back to his dorm, putting the rest off until tomorrow. He 's a bit jet-lagged too even though he 'd mocked Kajii about it. Plus he 'd rather deal with it after the cleaning crew had come by.

He makes his way to the dorm building a couple doors down from the office, oddly nostalgic as he takes the stairs up to the third floor and reaches the door at the end of the hall. Chuuya fishes out his keys and unlocks the door, walking into the place.

It 's like being immediately transported back to being sixteen. The memories are all over. Everywhere he looks reminds him of Dazai, of Double Black, of long days and nights spent crafting music together. It 's the couch Dazai always slept on. It 's the console he 'd challenged him to game after game on. It 's the fucking coffee pot that Dazai had left here and Chuuya had never returned.

Holy fucking shit, he needs to move. Immediately.

Dazai is lying on his bed struggling with a stubborn chorus when Santoka knocks on his door, opening it halfway when Dazai says he can enter. This isn 't surprising. What 's surprising is what Santoka says.

'You have a guest. '

Dazai practically flings his laptop off his lap. 'I 'm can 't have a guest, ' he says flatly. 'Nobody is supposed to know I 'm here. '

Santoka opens the door the rest of the way to reveal this mystery visitor. He looks different than the last time Dazai had seen him. His red hair is longer, and he 's dressed in jeans and a t-shirt instead of his usual more formal attire.

'Long time no see, Dazai, ' says Sakunosuke Oda from his spot leaning against the doorway. His smile is the same though, genuine and kindhearted.

'Odasaku? ' asks Dazai, getting up off the bed and coming forward, not quite believing his eyes. 'How did you even know I was here? '

Oda sighs. 'Ango told me. '

Dazai stops moving closer to Oda. 'You 're speaking to that scumbag? ' asks Dazai, voice going hard without him deciding.

Oda 's smile turns sad. 'Not very often. He keeps avoiding me. '

Dazai takes that in, frowning at his friend. But he doesn 't want to fight with Oda, not when he 's finally seeing him after so long.

'So you 've finished the recovery program? ' asks Dazai, trying to change the subject.

'I 've finished the part where I had to live there, ' says Oda with a shrug. There 's a heaviness to his words that he 'd never spoken with before. 'I 've still got a long way to go. I 'm actually staying with a family friend a little bit outside the city. L.A. is still a little much for me, too many bad memories. '

'The kids? ' asks Dazai hesitantly, not really wanting to know but having to anyway.

'They all went to good homes with responsible guardians, ' says Oda, voice a little thick. 'It 's what 's best for them. Their new families have been kind enough to let me exchange letters with them. '

Dazai has other questions, but he really doesn 't want to put Odasaku through any further pain. He never wants to cause Oda suffering again.

'You look different, ' says Dazai instead. 'Very Cali slacker. '

'You should talk, ' says Oda, gesturing to his own outfit of sweatpants and an old t-shirt that had been Santoka 's. His smile is lighter now. 'I 've never seen you in anything other than a suit. Or without dark circles under your eyes. '

'He still barely sleeps, ' says Santoka disapprovingly, reminding Dazai that he 's still standing there. 'I hear him in the middle of the night banging around. '

It 's an odd feeling to be in a room with the two of them, the people who for some reason keep putting their faith in Dazai even when he gives them reasons not to. It 's like two parts of his life he 'd never would have thought would fit together.

'Did Taneda introduce himself? ' asks Dazai to Oda.

'Of course I did, ' says Santoka, rolling his eyes. 'I 'm an excellent host. '

'You never have guests over, ' points out Dazai.

'I 'm busy, ' says Santoka flippantly. 'And I 'm housing a fugitive record company executive. '

Oda laughs, causing them both to look at him. 'It sounds like you 're taking good care of him, ' says Oda lightly.

'I am an adult, ' Dazai reminds them, crossing his arms.

Oda and Santoka both laugh at that. Dazai scowls at them.

'I 'll make us something to drink, ' says Santoka, leaving them alone to walk to the kitchen.

'He 's just going to pour some powder in water, ' Dazai informs Oda. 'It tastes nothing like real lemonade.

'It 's good to see you, Dazai, ' replies Oda, a huge grin on his face.

Dazai returns it. 'You too, Odasaku. ' He really, really means it.

October, Two Years, Eight and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya 's barely had a break since he got home. He and Kajii spend practically every waking minute (and a lot of time they shouldn 't be awake) working on the album. But after months of hard work and a couple of close calls where Chuuya had almost smashed a guitar over his head and quit the project all together, it 's finally almost fucking done. They 're set to release in November.

Now that their part is mostly over, Chuuya has enough time to start being nervous. He 'd talked a big game about how well this album was doing to do, but releasing music always makes him a little anxious. He feels like he 's throwing a piece of his soul to the public for their judgement every time. He 'd thought with more experience that would go away. It hasn 't though.

Chuuya 's been so busy that the anniversary of Arthur 's death almost creeps up on him. One day it 's August and he 's in the recording studio and then the next thing he knows it 's October and it 's been a year since the man Chuuya had revered so much had passed. It kind of feels disrespectful in a way that he hadn 't paid more attention to it.

It still hurts, but the pain isn 't as all consuming as it had been a year ago. This time around he doesn 't run from his life or music. He bears the hurt with dignity, he doesn 't let it crush him.

That doesn 't mean it doesn 't completely fucking suck the day of. Chuuya shuts himself up in his office to mourn in solitude. It works until Tachihara comes to see him to whine about Akutagawa and his latest indiscretion.

At first it had been a nice distraction. But instead of leaving after he 'd finished complaining, Tachihara is now lingering and poking through Chuuya 's stuff.

'What the hell is this? ' asks Tachihara, picking up an object from Chuuya 's shelves.

'It 's half a Grammy, ' says Chuuya, impatience clear in his voice.

'It 's what? ' Tachihara holds up the award to inspect it more closely. 'What the fuck did you do to it? '

'Me and Dazai split them, ' says Chuuya shortly. It had been Chuuya 's idea. Instead of trying to figure out how to divide five of them between them, Chuuya had brought them to someone with a laser who split them all into equal pieces.

It had seemed funny at the time. Dazai had made a hilarious face when he 'd given him his halves.

Now it 's just a stinging physical reminder of how stupid a duo looks when the other person leaves.

'Do you have any idea how much this thing is worth? ' asks Tachihara, still shocked at the destruction of the Grammy.

'I 'll get another one eventually, ' says Chuuya flippantly. He 's not even really kidding.

Tachihara shakes his head but puts it back down. Then he moves down to another shelf to inspect that one.

'Tachihara, ' snaps Chuuya, losing his hold on his temper. 'Why are you fucking hovering? '

Tachihara turns to look at him with an oddly severe expression. 'Did you really think I 'd fucking forget after what happened last year? '

Chuuya 's anger fades instantly. He lets out a long sigh. 'I 'm fine, Mich. '

'You 're one of my best fucking friends, man, ' says Tachihara, tone serious in a way Chuuya rarely hears from him. 'You 're like family. ' He pauses, his next sentence full of frustration. 'I failed you last year. '

'What? ' asks Chuuya, shocked. 'That is not what happened. '

'I did jack shit and had to call fucking Dazai because I couldn 't handle it, ' says Tachihara angrily. 'I fucked up. '

'That wasn 't your fault, ' says Chuuya, trying not to get upset himself. He takes a deep breath, knowing his next words are what Tachihara needs to hear.

'I was on a mission to self-destruct that night, ' says Chuuya, forcing himself to keep going. 'You did the right thing, calling Dazai. It was what I needed. ' The admission burns him, but he owes Tachihara this honesty.

Tachihara 's body loses some of its tension. But he still doesn 't let the subject go.

'I can do better this time, ' says Tachihara, more earnest than angry now. 'I swear. We don 't have to talk or anything, but you don 't have to be alone. '

The sincerity and urgency of the offer surprises Chuuya. He hadn 't expected this from the brash and easygoing Tachihara. They 've always been close, but Tachihara has never been this pushy with him before. They usually stick to discussing music and bitching about everyone else at PMR, they tended to stray away from the heavier things.

But Tachihara doesn 't back down even when Chuuya takes a while to respond. He keeps looking at Chuuya with an expectant expression.

'You want to go to the beach? ' asks Chuuya eventually.

'Um, ' says Tachihara, clearly not expecting that as an answer. 'Now? '

'You want to help? ' asks Chuuya, smirking slightly. 'This is how. '

'Let 's go then, ' says Tachihara. He 's still obviously confused but smiles back as if he isn 't.

Tachihara doesn 't question him any further. He follows along as Chuuya leads them to a spot on a stretch of beach they have to themselves. It 's not a clear night, and the ocean is a little harder to make out. But Chuuya doesn 't care as he digs his feet into the sand, the music of Paul Verlaine playing out from his phone.

'Is this French? ' asks Tachihara from beside him. The question is curious rather than judgmental.

'Yup, ' answers Chuuya lightly. 'Arthur 's favorite singer. '

Tachihara nods, looking contemplative. 'What 's he singing about? '

'Love, death, the usual bullshit, ' says Chuuya, laughing slightly. 'Sometimes he uses a lot of fancy metaphors to talk about drugs and delirium. '

'A rebel, ' says Tachihara approvingly. 'Hell yeah old dead French dude. '

'Last year was 'unfortunate, ' says Chuuya, looking at the ocean instead of Tachihara. 'I was a real shitbag. It got out of hand. You don 't have to worry about it happening again. '

'I don 't care about that, ' says Tachihara. 'If it happens, it happens. Everyone is allowed to go a little off the rails sometimes. But you should let people help when it does. '

'Noted, ' says Chuuya, smiling a bit.

It doesn 't take away the pain of missing Arthur, but it helps. It helps more than Chuuya had thought it would. Even if Tachihara doesn 't get exactly who Arthur was to him, it 's nice to have him here. He keeps up his colorful commentary as Chuuya plays more of the music Arthur had liked. It keeps Chuuya from getting too melancholic.

Eventually when it starts to get late Chuuya calls it a night, telling Tachihara that he 'd done his duty and to stop pestering him.

'You 're welcome, ' says Tachihara smugly. It 's a relief for him to be acting more like himself again.

'Fuck off, ' says Chuuya as a goodbye. He flips Tachihara off with a smile as he leaves to walk back to the dorm building.

He takes the elevator to the top floor when he gets there. His door has a key code rather than a regular lock, and he punches that in to open it. Dorm isn 't really a good word for the large space he calls home now.

The layout isn 't all that different though. The biggest change is that his piano is now in the front room and he actually has a decent sized bedroom. The bathroom is also a major upgrade (Chuuya keeps the dartboard he 'd used to have on the back of the door stashed in one of his closets instead now after he hadn 't been able to toss it.)

Chuuya makes himself a cup of tea, intending to drink it and go to bed. But instead of going to sleep he takes a seat at the piano. There 's a melody scratching at his brain that isn 't related to

Arahabaki

for once. He works on the song for the rest of the night, never going to sleep.

The next morning he stashes it in a drawer with all his other unfinished songs (mostly old Double Black ideas) in his bedroom. It 's still just a verse and some chords, and the thought of forcing himself to finish it right now is daunting. The longer he 'd sat at the piano, the more he 'd been tempted to write about other things, much less pleasant things (

a god of calamity

repeats his mind incessantly). He really has never been able to lie to himself when it comes to music.

Chuuya sighs and makes himself another cup of tea, the kind with the most caffeine he has. Fuck, it 's going to be a long day.

He 's tired enough that he can 't fight off his thoughts from straying to Dazai. It 's hard to maintain his fury at him when he 's caught up in the memory of how he 'd literally sang himself hoarse a year ago for him. Dazai had even taken off his bandages, something Chuuya had never seen him do before. Sometimes Chuuya thinks about those scars on his arms and feels sick about whatever had happened that Dazai had ended up with them.

Chuuya rubs his eyes wearily. It isn 't often that he allows himself to miss Dazai more than he loathes him. Mostly because it always leaves him feeling like shit. In the end, it 's always the same. Dazai gone, Chuuya here, Soukoku finished.

But the ending hadn 't wiped away all the memories that had come before it. The night he 'd learned Dazai had left PMR hadn 't replaced all the times they 'd shared a stage together. It didn 't erase every night Dazai had waken him up from his nightmares and comforted him so effortlessly. It didn 't make him forget the feeling he 'd gotten writing a song together, when their eyes would meet and they 'd just

know

what the other was thinking.

It 's the worst part about this entire thing. Chuuya truly wishes the only thing he felt towards Dazai is a cold and indifferent hatred. It would make things so much easier.

It 's frankly exhausting that he 's still in love with him.

But Chuuya has learned

something

this past year. He knows how to not let loss demolish his entire life. Chuuya knows that hiding from music is the worst possible response to pain, that it only makes everything worse.

So Chuuya takes his tea to go and walks towards the Port Mafia Records' office without any hesitation.

November, Two Years, Nine Months, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

The Literary City, Motojiro Kajii

In a Castle Town

Winter Days

The Carefree Patient

Mire

After a Snowfall

Instrumental Hallucinations, A Musical Derangement

The Story of the Bamboo Pipe

Scroll of Darkness

Mating

Songs of Upbringing

The Truth like a Contradiction

Aesculus

Beneath the Cherry Trees

The album launch party for The Literary City is over the top even by Chuuya 's standards after years of attending extravagant Port Mafia Records ' events. PMR had rented out one of the upscale bars near the office, and practically everyone from PMR and a bunch of other music industry people are here celebrating (and taking advantage of the open bar.)

Chuuya himself is drinking a vodka red bull more for the caffeine boost than the alcohol. He pretty much hadn 't slept the night before. He 'd been too full of nervous energy. Instead he 'd lied awake and listened to the album again to look for things they 'd missed. It probably hadn 't been a healthy way to deal with his nerves, but Chuuya has never claimed to have sensible reactions to stress.

His adrenaline has been too high all day for him to be too tired though. The reviews are in, and Motojiro Kajii has a fucking hit on his hands. Or he has one critically so far, it 's too early to tell commercially. Chuuya 's favorite review had started out with, 'Is this the same Motojiro Kajii from The Black Lizards who had been borderline unlistenable to? What happened to that obnoxious singer to transform into this mature lyrical genius? ' Kajii hadn 't been offended, he 'd cackled when Chuuya had read it to him.

Kajii is the life of this party. He 's more happy than Chuuya has ever seen him, and more frenzied. One second he 's dancing on a table, the next he 's at the bar doing shots, and then occasionally he 'll perform one of the songs off the album. His inebriation doesn 't seem to be affecting his singing either, he 's more alive on stage than ever.

Chuuya is feeling pretty content himself. There had been a tiny voice in the back of his mind that had doubted whether he could pull this off. He 'd never pictured himself as a producer. (The tiny voice had also questioned whether he could make anything great without Dazai by his side.)

Okay, so the satisfaction isn 't

as

great as what he 'd felt about Double Black. The praise over the album is mostly going to go to Kajii, and he deserves it. Most people didn 't pay close attention to the producers of an album, especially the general public. Chuuya 's role in creating the music would probably go unnoticed by most people.

Still, it 's hard not to feel good listening to Kajii belt out '

There are dead bodies buried under the cherry trees! It 's true, I swear. How else would the the trees blossom like this? '

to a highly enthusiastic crowd. Kajii seeks him out as he performs, winking at him. Chuuya rolls his eyes in response. It makes Kajii 's smirk grow even wider.

'I 'm glad the success isn 't going to his head, ' says Gin, appearing beside him. Instead of dressing up like most people around them she 's wearing her usual attire of long black clothing. It is technically a dress though, and her hair is down for once.

'He wasn 't exactly humble to start with, ' points out Chuuya with a snort. 'Where 's Tachihara? '

'I 'm not his keeper, ' says Gin flatly. She takes a sip from her very pink drink. Chuuya wrinkles his nose just imagining the overly sweet taste.

Chuuya gives her an unimpressed look.

'He 's probably with his usual cronies by the bar, ' answers Gin sulkily.

'Is your brother here? ' asks Chuuya, looking around them for the sight of the younger Akutagawa. He usually sticks pretty close to Gin at things like this, he isn 't a very outgoing person.

'He 's supposed to be, ' says Gin, her tone very clearly disapproving of his absence. One didn 't easily tell Ryuunosuke Akutagawa what to do though.

'Nobody would probably notice if you ditched either, ' says Chuuya in a low voice.

Gin rolls her eyes. 'We 're here to support Kajii. '

Chuuya grins widely at her loyalty, especially with how much she obviously doesn 't want to be here. 'Well, let me buy you a drink. '

'From the open bar? My hero, ' she says sarcastically. But she walks along with him to the bar.

As they get closer they see Tachihara with his friends. He waves frantically when he sees them.

'Chuuya, ' he calls out. 'Lady Lizard! Come join us. '

'Lady Lizard? ' asks Chuuya to Gin quietly, not hiding his laughter very well.

'He 's

asking

to die, ' Gin replies darkly. She scowls at Tachihara as she approaches him, stomping on his foot with her high heeled one immediately.

Chuuya chuckles to himself, walking up to the bar and ordering himself a glass of wine and Gin another pink concoction. One of Tachihara 's friend crew approaches him while he waits.

'As I live and breathe, ' says Charles Dickens dramatically. 'Chuuya Nakahara in the flesh. '

'Hey, Charlie, ' says Chuuya warmly. 'It 's been a while. '

'It 's been an eternity, ' says Charlie, lips upturned in a slight smirk. 'It 's good to have you back in L.A. It 's dull without our resident hotheaded redhead. '

'Isn 't that Tachihara? ' asks Chuuya with a smile. He grabs his drink and Gin 's, leading them over to where she 's still glaring at Tachihara and passing it to her.

'It is actually good to see you though, ' says Charlie, his smile more genuine.

'Congratulations on Great Expectations, ' says Chuuya. Charlie 's latest album has been doing extremely well, and Chuuya had been pretty impressed by it. 'I really liked it. You deserve all the hype it 's getting. '

'Thank you, ' says Charlie. He gestures around them. 'You should be proud too. You were the main producer for Kajii, right? '

'I was, ' says Chuuya, surprised Charlie had known that.

'You and I should get together sometime soon, ' says Charlie, just a hint of nerves visible. 'Talk music. '

Charlie has always been a little flirty with Chuuya, but in the past Chuuya had always brushed him off gently. His mind had been thoroughly occupied with someone, he had no interest in anyone else.

But now, things are different. Chuuya had been way more restrained than Kajii, but he hadn 't exactly been a saint those last couple months in Europe. He 'd had his share of liaisons (even if

the first couple times he had to keep reminding himself that it was not possible to be unfaithful to someone he had

never even dated.)

Although he 'd never really seen anyone seriously.

He does like Charlie. He 's nice, and he 's a lot of fun. He 's also undeniably attractive with messy curly brown hair and blue-green eyes. They 've always gotten along well.

There really isn 't a reason he should say no (beyond an absolutely pathetic one he is not willing to acknowledge).

'Sure, ' says Chuuya, smiling in a different way at Charlie. 'Sounds like fun. '

Dazai is mostly just confused the first time he listens to The Literary City. He hasn 't been keeping very close track of Port Mafia Records ' releases since he 'd left, he 'd preferred the distance. But it kept coming up on the radio, so Dazai had decided to check it out due to professional curiosity more than anything.

At first he thinks it 's some sort of mistake. Surely Motojiro Kajii, The Lemon Fucker, couldn 't be responsible for this music. It doesn 't make sense until he looks further into the details about the album and sees Chuuya 's name listed as the first producer.

Then it all clicks into place. Chuuya had been the one to take Kajii 's ideas and enhance them into something more substantial. Kajii 's influence on the sound is very present, and that 's why Dazai hadn 't put it together that it was Chuuya immediately. The songs aren 't purely in his style, he would have been able to identify a song Chuuya had written himself easily. He hadn 't unlearned his songwriting language, it still lives in Dazai 's head.

For some reason, it gets underneath Dazai 's skin, Chuuya writing music with someone else. And with fucking Kajii of all people, who Dazai had listened to

hours

of complaints about. It 's like a slap in the face. If nothing else had meant anything between them, songwriting had always been sacred in a way.

Clearly Chuuya didn 't feel that way anymore if he 's writing with just anybody now. It makes Dazai more upset than he 'd expected. He doesn 't know why he 'd thought Chuuya wouldn 't start working with someone else after he 'd left, but he hadn 't. It had never even crossed his mind.

Still, personal feelings notwithstanding, he listens to the album in its entirety. Dazai 's opinion of Chuuya hasn 't changed how Dazai feels about the music he makes.

Music that people connect with, that makes them feel something, that 's what Chuuya had always wanted to write. Chuuya pulls it off with ease, as per usual.

Okay, so Dazai actually ends up listening to it more than once (while he 's alone and when no one else can hear him). It still pales in comparison to Double Black, but Dazai can 't deny that it 's genuinely good music.

But if anyone ever asks him about it he 's going to say it 's drowning in metaphors and the compositions could use some sharpening.

January, Almost Three Years Since the Release of Corruption

'So you 're really not coming? ' asks Charlie through the phone, whining just the slightest bit

Chuuya barely holds back the annoyed sigh he wants to let out. 'I sat through that snooze-fest once. That was enough for me. '

'That snooze-fest is one of the most prestigious award shows in music, ' says Charlie. 'You only think it 's boring because you 've already won a million Grammys. '

'Five is hardly a million, ' says Chuuya, more amused than irritated this time.

Chuuya had never intended to attend the Grammys this year. He 'd skipped out last year when he 'd been in Marseilles. He 'd planned to do the same this year, it 's not like he was nominated for anything anyway. Kajii 's album wouldn 't even be eligible until next year.

And beyond all that, the award show is steeped in way too much baggage for Chuuya. It had been the last place he 'd ever performed with Dazai. He hadn 't even fucking known it at the time. Their last time singing together and it had been for a bunch of industry bigwigs and had been

Corruption

of all songs

.

It 's both depressing and kind of fitting.

So Chuuya has negative desire to step anywhere near the place. Dating Charles Dickens hadn 't changed his mind, even if Great Expectations is up for a couple awards tonight.

It 's different than he 'd thought it be having a boyfriend. The press are more obsessed with him than they have been in years. They 're constantly photographed and asked about the other.

The thing is there isn 't even that much to tell. After starting to date after the launch party in November, they 'd really only gotten to see each other a couple times a week with both of them having jam-packed schedules. Since Kajii 's album had come out Chuuya has taken on a producer role for a bunch of different albums, although none where he 's as extensively involved as he had been with Kajii 's.

Chuuya does have a lot of fun when he does get to see Charlie. Charlie likes to go out and do things, which is different from Chuuya 's usual lifestyle of working until he drops and then blowing off steam in whatever way sounds most appealing. But together the two of them go to a bunch of restaurants and bars. Charlie has also dragged him to different parks and even the Santa Monica Pier once.

It 's never boring, that 's for sure. Because of the dates and because of Charlie himself. He tends to have a flair for the dramatic. He 's generally a pretty laid-back guy, but he does tend to get a little emotional about things.

For instance, Chuuya 's refusal to go a pointless award show with him where they probably wouldn 't even get to talk to each other much anyway. And Chuuya has no interest in going just for the photo-op. He hasn 't enjoyed the extra spotlight on his life. He 's fine with the attention he gets about his music, but he is completely uninterested in sharing his personal life, including

who he 's dating.

The people in his life have had multiple reactions to him dating Charlie. Tachihara had been mostly confused.

'Charlie? ' he 'd asked in disbelief when Chuuya had told him while they were eating lunch together along with Gin in Chuuya 's office. 'You 're dating

Chuck

? '

'Yeah? ' Chuuya had said, a little offended at his attitude. 'What 's wrong with that? You 've been friends with him forever. '

'Yeah, but he 's

so

', ' Tachihara had paused, searching for the right word, waving a hand, '

Charlie.

'

'Fuck off, ' Chuuya had said, rolling his eyes.

Gin had stayed silent on the matter, but that was par for the course with her.

Kajii had called him from The Literary City tour and mocked him about it for twenty minutes then congratulated him on landing a hottie for a boy toy. Chuuya had threatened to give him a black eye the next time he saw him. But it 's hard to stay mad at Kajii when the album they 'd made together

had

hit number one and Kajii is so full of violent joy about it. He 's more of a freaking maniac than ever.

Kouyou had only said, 'I 'm not sure that 's a good idea. ' Chuuya had gotten pissed off, and they hadn 't talked about it much since. She makes some subtly disapproving faces though.

Elise is the only one who 's truly been ecstatic. She constantly badgers Chuuya about it, asking him about where they went and how it was. She thinks it 's a lot more thrilling than it really is. Chuuya tries to remind himself she 's just a teenage girl and not to tell her to shut up.

Mori 's reaction is the one that still makes Chuuya a little uncomfortable whenever he thinks about it. He had asked to Chuuya to come see him in his office to talk about his thoughts on Sakutaro Hagiwara 's album in progress Howling at the Moon then brought it up right before he left.

'It 's come to my attention that you 're now dating Charles Dickens, ' Mori had said, cheerful smile in full force. 'Make sure it doesn 't affect Port Mafia Records in any way and we 'll never have to discuss it any further. '

Chuuya had agreed with the plan, but it had still been extremely awkward. But Chuuya knows where Mori is coming from. He 's seen other singers (not anyone from PMR obviously) fuck up their careers that way. He likes Charlie, but he 's not going to put his job or PMR in jeopardy because of him. His goal is to never have Mori bring it up ever again.

The only other person who 's opinion who he really cares about is Hirotsu, who had just said that he hopes he makes Chuuya happy and if not to let him know (he is both a soft and very hard old man.) A bunch of other people from PMR and practically everyone on his social media have chimed in with their thoughts, but Chuuya doesn 't listen or read any of it. Unless people want to talk to him about music, he has no interest in any of that bullshit.

He also has no interest in going to the Grammys just to placate Charlie. And honestly even though Charlie is his boyfriend and Great Expectations is a really good album, he hopes he loses to the artists from PMR. He 's not going to lie to him and tell him he 's rooting for him.

'Fine, ' says Charlie, and Chuuya can just picture him pouting. 'But then you have to come with me to Charlotte 's thing next week. '

Charlotte Bronte 's housewarming party hadn 't been on his list of priorities, but if it 'll get Charlie to drop it Chuuya can go.

'Sure, ' he says easily. 'Try to stay awake when the cameras are on you. '

'Thanks for the tip, ' says Charlie, sarcastic but laughing a bit. 'Talk later? '

'Later, ' says Chuuya, finally hanging up.

He lets out the sigh he had been holding in. The Grammys can go fuck themselves.

'I can 't believe it 's already been three years since the release of Double Black and

Corruption

, ' says Mary Stewart, the woman doing this horrible interview.

Not that it 's her fault, she 's actually one of the least obnoxious music reporters Chuuya knows. That 's why he 'd chosen her when Mori had told him he had to do this. It 's about as fun as peeling off his own fingernails, but Chuuya isn 't going to tell Mori no. It 's just a little fluff piece, he can handle it.

They 're doing the interview in Chuuya 's office, so at least he hadn 't had to go meet them somewhere and waste his time there all day. They 're sitting on the couch by the window, the view of the Pacific Ocean is pretty spectacular behind them (it 's Chuuya 's favorite thing about his new office).

Mary had been efficient when she 'd gotten there, quickly having her people set up to tape everything. She hadn 't even taken the tea he 'd offered her out of politeness, preferring to get things started right away. Chuuya is glad her chose her.

'It 's pretty crazy, ' says Chuuya lightly, making himself smile. 'In some ways it feels like it 's been a million years but also no time at all. '

'I still go back and listen to it, you boys really nailed that one, ' says Mary, and it doesn 't scream bullshit.

'Thank you, ' says Chuuya, more sincerely. It 's still always nice to get genuine praise for the music, even if Chuuya absolutely never listens to it.

'Since the release of Double Black you 've become sort of a renaissance man in the music industry, ' says Mary, her voice slipping into a more formal tone. 'You played guitar for rock music group The Black Lizards for a year. You became an executive of Port Mafia Records at age eighteen, traveling all over the world to work on music. And then this past year you produced your first album, Motojiro Kajii 's hit record The Literary City. '

'So I guess my first question is when do you find the time to sleep? ' asks Mary with a smile. 'Is there anything you can 't do? '

'I probably don 't get as much sleep as I should, ' admits Chuuya with a laugh. 'But seriously, I 've thoroughly enjoyed every opportunity that 's come to me since the release of Double Black. It 's been great to explore so many different facets of music. '

'Well, I think I speak for many people when I say that we 'll take more of whatever you choose to pursue next, ' says Mary. 'What 's next for Chuuya Nakahara? '

'I 'll let you know when I figure it out, ' says Chuuya. It 's not really a lie.

'Do you have any plans to ever record an album yourself again? ' asks Mary.

Chuuya had known the question was coming. He still has to fight off a grimace. 'It 's not on my radar, ' he says with a casual shrug. 'But never say never. '

'Should we also never say never to a potential Double Black reunion? ' asks Mary.

'You guys never get tired of asking that one, ' says Chuuya, smile just a bit too wide. 'But you all know I 'm not allowed to comment on any ongoing Port Mafia Records legal disputes. '

'I know, ' says Mary, leaning in conspiratorially and lowering her voice. 'But they make me ask anyway. '

Chuuya smirks at that, shaking his head. He doesn 't reply though.

She straightens up, smiling widely. 'Well, thank you for your time today, Chuuya. Good luck on whatever you decide to conquer next. '

'Thanks, ' says Chuuya flippantly, grinning back.

Mary signals to her camera man to cut, letting out a sigh once he does.

'Thanks for having us, ' she says to him in a less polished voice than she 'd been using. She sticks out a hand for him to shake. 'I know artists hate these little bullshit anniversary things. '

'Every job has its downsides, ' says Chuuya, shaking her hand.

He maintains a cheery facade until her and her team are out the door. Then he groans loudly, covering his face with his hands. He fucking hates today, he really does. Having to lie about Dazai feels like swallowing nails every single time still.

He 's interrupted in his sulking when someone knocks on the door. He calls for them to come in shortly, not moving from his spot on the couch.

'Are you busy? ' asks Mori, sounding amused.

Chuuya sits up immediately. 'Boss, ' he says just a touch frantically. 'Sorry, I didn 't know it was you. What can I do for you? ' he asks, standing up and adopting a more normal tone.

Mori waves a hand, gesturing for him to sit back down. He takes a seat on the couch beside him. 'I appreciate you doing that interview. I know you find it irritating. '

'It 's not a big deal, ' says Chuuya. He might be lying, he 's not sure. 'But you wouldn 't be here just to thank me. ' Chuuya knows Mori well enough to know that.

Mori smiles, not disagreeing with him. 'How do you feel about Canada? '

'Never been, ' says Chuuya, eyebrows raised. He 's a little intrigued. 'I hear it 's pretty cold. '

'Robertson Davies runs the PMR office up there, ' says Mori, shifting to his more serious business persona. 'He 's an excellent business man, he was a singer when he was younger as well. He was more popular in Canada, but he did have quite a few fans in the U.S. '

'Yeah, I 've listened to Fifth Business, ' says Chuuya, nodding. 'It 's not really my style, but I was impressed by it. '

Mori looks almost surprised at that, but he quickly moves on. 'I agree. Anyway, Davies is looking to take a couple months off. ' Mori shrugs. 'Health problems. I 'm looking for someone to fill in for him until he 's back at the end of April. '

'Sounds interesting, ' says Chuuya, thinking it over. He had been looking for the next thing to do after Kajii 's album. Going somewhere new could fix that problem. 'When do they need me there by? '

'The 1st would be ideal, ' says Mori, eyes lighting up at Chuuya 's acceptance.

'Then I better start getting ready, ' says Chuuya, smirking just slightly.

'Pack something warm, ' advises Mori, standing up. He flashes Chuuya another wide smile. 'I 'm sure you 'll do an excellent job. '

Mori 's words are both a complement and an expectation. Chuuya feels himself both annoyed and excited by the challenge.

'Thanks, Boss, ' says Chuuya, laughing a little.

'You 're leaving for three months? ' asks Charlie from his spot sitting at Chuuya 's kitchen counter. He sounds shocked. 'To go to

Canada

? Why? '

'The man who runs the office requested some time off, ' answers Chuuya, pouring him and Charlie a glass of wine, standing on the other side of the counter. He passes one of the glasses towards Charlie. He isn 't going to tell Charlie about the health issues, it feels private. 'And Mori asked me to. '

'And you just automatically said yes? ' asks Charlie. He still sounds caught off guard, but now he sounds a little upset too.

Chuuya frowns, looking at him and trying to figure out his problem. 'He 's my boss. '

'You 're an executive, ' says Charlie, frowning back. 'Don 't you have any say in where you go? '

'Yeah, I do, ' says Chuuya, crossing his arms. If he had really protested Mori probably could have found someone else. But Chuuya is looking forward to the trip the more that he thinks about it. He 's been getting a little stir crazy without anything to occupy himself lately. 'I wanted to do it. '

Charlie 's irritation doesn 't really make sense to him. They 're musicians, they tend to move around a lot. Charlie is set to leave for a European tour in March anyway.

'So what about us? ' asks Charlie, still angry but also a little distressed.

Chuuya winces, his reaction making a lot more sense now. Charlie hadn 't even been a factor in his decision. He likes him a lot, but he 's not going to turn down an opportunity like this just to spend another month with him.

'I mean, we can do the distance thing, ' offers Chuuya. It makes him think back to the Falling Camellia tour in a terrible way. The idea isn 't very appealing.

'I could go with you until I leave for tour, ' says Charlie, surprising the hell out of him. He sounds serious though. 'I 've never been to Canada. '

'Don 't you have shit you to have to do here? ' asks Chuuya, trying not to sound rude but also too stunned to hide his less than enthusiastic response. 'You 're prepping for a big tour. '

'I don 't want to lose you, ' says Charlie, voice going soft. 'I think I 'm falling in love with you. '

Chuuya doesn 't claim to be an expert at romance, but he 's pretty sure the response to your boyfriend telling you they 're falling in love with you isn 't supposed to be

oh shit.

"Charlie, ' says Chuuya as gently as he can. He sets down his wine glass. 'We need to talk. '

It 's several hours later when he meets Tachihara and Gin at one of their favorite bars. The place is close to the PMR office and is usually full of other PMR employees. Tachihara and Gin are in one of the more private booths in the back though, away from the crowd.

'It 's the heartbreaker! ' calls out Tachihara when he sees Chuuya approaching. He 's grinning widely.

'Fuck off, ' says Chuuya irritably. He sits down in the booth and immediately drinks almost half the glass of wine that had been waiting for him.

'How did it go? ' asks Tachihara, a little more considerate this time but still amused.

'He 'cried, ' says Chuuya with a wince. He scowls as Tachihara and Gin both burst out in laughter. He does not appreciate them mocking him right now.

There had been no way he could keep dating Charlie though, not when they were that off from the same page. Chuuya feels a bit bad for stomping on his heart, but it had to be done. Charlie had not taken it super well.

At the same time though, they had

not

known each other well enough to be throwing words around like that yet. Chuuya 's heard about singers who jump into relationships and marriage, and that is not him.

Even if Chuuya hasn 't dated much, he knows what love feels like. That had not been it. That had been light and easy, Chuuya had never even revealed anything super personal about himself. The closest he 'd gotten had been when Charlie had stayed over at his place and told Chuuya he muttered in his sleep in the morning, and Chuuya had brushed him off. He 'd felt way more towards Dazai when he 'd still (naively) thought of him as just a friend than he had towards Charlie.

It is a little funny in an ironic kind of way that this is exactly what he 'd thought he 'd wanted, someone who would fight for him, someone who cared enough to stay. Instead it had been overwhelming and slightly confining.

Maybe he isn 't as ready to date as he 'd thought he was, not if it 's going to be like that. Maybe he should stay away from musicians in general if they 're all this way. The whole experience has left him a little drained. He 's more ready than ever to go the fuck to Canada.

'Poor Chuck, ' says Tachihara, shaking his head. 'You could say his expectations were too 'great. '

Chuuya stomps on his foot under the table and he lets out a yelp. 'Shut up, ' he says harshly.

'You should be nicer to me, ' says Tachihara, pointing a finger at him. 'You 're leaving us again. '

'It 's just a few months, ' says Chuuya, rolling his eyes. 'Maybe by the time I get back you 'll have gotten closer to finishing your album. '

Tachihara 's amusement sours. The lack of progress of The Black Lizards is well known throughout PMR, and people are starting to lose their patience with the band. It 's been well over a year since Ryuunosuke joined them, but they still haven 't released anything. Hirotsu is the most unhappy Chuuya has ever seen him (and Chuuya has seen him look very, very unhappy.)

Gin speaks up next, eyeing him cooly. 'So I guess your love story won 't be a tale of two cities. '

That makes Tachihara laugh again, and he fist bumps her. She smirks in response.

'I hate both of you, ' says Chuuya darkly. He takes another long sip of his wine.

'We 're very sorry that you had to dump your clingy boyfriend, ' says Gin flatly. Tachihara snorts beside her. Then she shifts to a less aggressive tone. 'Let 's move on to more important things. Where are we going to celebrate your birthday this year? There 's no way in hell I 'm going to Canada. '

Dazai truly has no opinion on Chuuya 's decision to date the airheaded pretty boy Charles Dickens. He couldn 't care less. Chuuya has always had tacky taste, apparently that extended to people as well. He is much too busy with his own life, writing songs, reading books, playing chess with Santoka, texting Odasaku once in a while. Dazai actually feels sorry for Charles Dickens, he 's being infected with slug germs.

He also does not feel anything when they break up. (Dazai does stop working on the extensive analysis and breakdown of everything that 's wrong with Great Expectations, but that 's a section of his computer that is never going to be witnessed by another person while he 's still alive.)

May, Three Years, Three Months, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

'Let 's all welcome Chuuya back to L.A. after his time in Canada, ' says Mori from his spot at the head of the table in the executive conference room. 'The Canadian office was almost sorry to see Davies return. '

'Good to be back, ' says Chuuya easily. He grins widely at Mori.

He had thoroughly enjoyed his time up north (even if had been

very

fucking cold). The people in the Canadian office had also been a little weirdly nice, but he 'd grown to like it. He 'd also liked calling the shots, making decisions about what bands and artists to focus on. His musical suggestions had been followed without question. It had taken him a while to get the same kind of response in Japan and Marseilles, but now he has enough of a reputation that people trust him (or know it 's a bad idea to cross him).

(The only truly bad experience he 'd had while he was gone had been an unfortunate incident on a certain day in February where 'd he 'd gotten a little too drunk at a karaoke bar and had ended up performing a very strange rendition of

Corruption

by himself that had ended with him smashing his phone during the bridge. He 'd never told anyone about that though and there was no evidence it happened, so Chuuya is pretending it didn 't.)

Chuuya had just gotten back from a trip to Fiji rather than Toronto actually though. He and The Black Lizards had gone there for his birthday, including their newest member Ichiyo Higuchi.

Chuuya had met Higuchi after he 'd been in Canada for a few weeks. She 'd been playing guitar for one of the Canadian pop groups. But it had been clear to Chuuya right away that she was being wasted there. He 'd approached her and offered her a job with a different band. She 'd said yes before he 'd even explained who that band would be.

He 'd told his idea to Mori, and he 'd agreed easily. By the next week Higuchi had been in L.A. and meeting the rest of the band. Not that the meeting had gone very smoothly.

What the actual fuck Chuuya,

had been the text Chuuya had received from Tachihara. He had not liked Higuchi much, he thought she had a giant stick up her ass. Gin hadn 't either, but for very different reasons.

'She 's in love with my brother, ' Gin had said with equal anger and horror when Chuuya had talked to her about it.

'You 're exaggerating. ' Chuuya had tried to calm her down. 'She probably just admires him as a musician. ' He 'd mostly had a hard time wrapping his head around anyone meeting Ryuunosuke and falling for him. He 's as spiteful and bad tempered as he 's always been.

'No, she 's seriously in love with him, ' Gin had insisted.

Despite not getting along with the others, Higuchi had been good for the band. They 'd finally started to find their sound (and thank god for that, for his friends ' and Hirotsu 's sake.) They 're actually recording an album now, though they 'd taken a break to kidnap Chuuya and fly him to Fiji for his twentieth birthday.

It had been a lot of fun, though Kajii had pouted that he hadn 't gotten to come because he was still on tour. Higuchi had come though (which Chuuya suspected was Hirotsu 's doing.) Akutagawa had been dragged along again too, and he 'd remained sullen for the duration of the trip. He 'd complained about the weather being too hot instead of enjoying the sun.

Chuuya had been forced to admit that Higuchi

did

have a thing for Akutagawa after witnessing how she acted around him. It had been thoroughly disturbing. But still, he had been the one to recruit her. So he had tried to help her out.

He 'd sat down next to her (and Akutagawa, who was reading under an

umbrella

nearby) while Tachihara and Gin were busy swimming (more like both being in the water and taking turns trying to drown the other, but whatever).

'You want my advice? ' Chuuya has asked, raising his eyebrows at her. 'If you want them to respect you, get the tattoo. '

He 'd gestured to his own tattoo on his lower right hipbone. Gin 's is on the back of her left shoulder, while Tachihara 's is on top of his left foot (Kajii, that motherfucker, got his on his right asscheek.)

'I don 't have the tattoo, ' Akutagawa had chimed in, voice bored. He didn 't look up from his book. 'It 's idiotic. '

Chuuya had rolled his eyes and gave him the finger before turning back to Higuchi. 'Look, they don 't like you because you haven 't earned it, ' Chuuya had said, figuring brutal honesty was the best way to go. 'They 'll start to come around if you prove you 're serious about the band. This would help with that. '

'Who says I care whether they like me? ' Higuchi had asked, voice a little haughty (though her Canadian accent made it harder to sound mean.)

'Fine, ' Chuuya had scoffed. 'Be the miserable outcast then. ' He 'd gotten up and gone to help Gin try to dunk Tachihara underwater.

Chuuya had thought he hadn 't convinced her, but then that night she 'd dragged all of them to a tattoo shop with a look of sheer determination. She now has her own black lizard on the inside of her right wrist.

It hadn 't fixed everything, but Chuuya had seen the approval in Gin and Tachihara 's faces. Hopefully they 'd start getting along soon, especially if they were all going to go on tour together in the future.

It 's nice to be back in L.A. again. He never likes to stay away from the city (or its ocean) for too long. He doesn 't know for sure what he 's going to work on next though.

Mori had offered to let him co-produce The Black Lizard album with Hirotsu, but Chuuya had turned him down. He 'd told Mori that he has zero interest in collaborating with Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. Mori had accepted his decision, smiling in his version of a laugh.

'Things are on track for The Black Lizards ' album Separate Ways, ' says Mori, bringing him back to the present. 'And Kajii 's album continues to do well. He could probably add an Asian leg onto his tour if he wants to. '

'The sales have been good this quarter, ' says Ace (someone who Chuuya had

not

missed while he 'd been gone.) 'Kajii 's popularity has also made Falling Camellia 's numbers bump up again too. '

'How fortuitous, ' says Mori, as if he hadn 't known that. He turns to Kouyou then. 'I heard a rumor about some kind of merger going on. What have you been able to find out? '

'The head of Dragon Head, Tatsuhiko Shibusawa, is trying to buy out Gelhert Sound Services, ' says Kouyou, nodding. 'Though from what I 've heard Shibusawa is more interested in GSS 's resources and contacts than any of their artists, not that that 's really surprising. They haven 't got many real assets on their hands. ' Kouyou shakes her head a bit. 'From what I 've heard, he 's going to clear house after he takes over and start from scratch. '

Chuuya takes the information in, fighting off a frown. It 's really none of his god damn business. He shouldn 't care.

'That should be fine, ' says Mori, waving a hand dismissively. 'GSS have never been a real threat, nor has Dragon Head. They 'll go from two small players to one slightly less small player. '

Still, Chuuya can 't stop thinking about it for the rest of the meeting.

One of the things Chuuya 's mastered since working for PMR is to walk into any room with confidence, be that a stage or the Los Angeles Police Department. He gets a lot of strange looks as he walks through the building, but he keeps his head high and never falters. Someday, when he hates him less, he might thank Isamu Yoshii.

Chuuya walks right up to the Gang and Narcotics Division and pauses when he reaches the desk of a woman who 's nameplate reads Mizuki Tsujimura. The girl who he figures is Tsujimura looks up at him with wide eyes. She has blue-green hair that she 's tied up in a bun on top of her head. Chuuya would be more surprised about that if he weren 't so focused right now.

'Four Eyes in? ' asks Chuuya, leaning forward with his hands on her desk.

'Um, Sergeant Sakaguchi is in, ' answers Tsujimura cautiously. 'But his door is closed, which means he doesn 't want to be disturbed. '

Chuuya starts walking towards the closed door right when she says the dickhead is here. He marches right up to the office and opens the door without any hesitation, flinging it so it slams into the opposite wall.

The surprised look on Ango Sakaguchi 's face as he walks in is thoroughly satisfying.

'Let 's get one thing straight, ' says Chuuya as he walks in. He stands in front of Sakaguchi 's desk and glares at him, crossing his arms. 'I think you 're scum. And a liar. And I hate you. But I want to take down Tatsuhiko Shibusawa and so do you. '

It only takes Sakaguchi a second to recover, probably because he 's a professional liar and deceiver. 'Why do you want to take down Shibusawa? ' asks Ango cooly. 'It isn 't our job to clean out Port Mafia Records ' competition, regardless of how you guys try to take advantage of us to do so. '

Chuuya almost reaches across the desk to strangle him (because who was he to talk about

taking advantage?)

, but Chuuya needs him right now. So he has to not blow up at him.

'Does it matter? ' asks Chuuya. He pulls a flash drive out of his suit jacket pocket and holds it up (which he had put data on he 'd gathered using PMR 's resources.) 'Everything you need to take him down is on here. You should be begging for my help. '

'Isn 't Dragon Head a little small for PMR to spend their time on? ' asks Ango, though he does extend his hand for the flash drive.

'Just do your job, ' says Chuuya angrily, handing the object over. He goes to leave immediately after he does, not wanting to linger with the fucker.

'Do you ever talk to Dazai? ' asks Ango before he reaches the door.

Chuuya pauses. He turns just with his head to look back.

'Haven 't spared him a single thought since the day he left, ' says Chuuya easily, shrugging slightly. 'I hate him more than I hate you. '

Ango surprises him by frowning at his words. 'I wouldn 't have expected that from the way he used to talk about you, ' he says, voice strangely almost sad.

Any chance of Chuuya being able to hold his temper flies out the window. He turns around all the way and stomps back up to Ango 's desk.

'Did you get off on it? ' Chuuya asks furiously, practically shouting. 'Pretending to be his fucking friend when you could see how few he actually had? ' He looks at him with pure hatred, voice trembling with rage. 'You make me

sick

. '

He doesn 't give Ango a chance to respond, turning and storming out of the office and slamming the door behind him.

Chuuya is still seething when he exits the building, his hands clenched into fists by his sides. He tries to take a deep breath to calm down.

It doesn 't really work, so instead he decides to go explain to Mori why GSS owing them a favor will be good for PMR. He 's still on edge even after walking all the way from downtown to the PMR office though.

It takes Chuuya a while to recognize where he 'd seen the girl before despite her unique hair when he sees her while he 's standing at the bar to get a drink a couple weeks later after he 'd had his confrontation with Sakaguchi. But he eventually places her as the girl who 'd he 'd talked to, Tsujimura.

Chuuya decides to steer clear of her. He came here with Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters to relieve some stress, not think about how he 's still fucking pissed at that backstabbing asshole. But his decision doesn 't work when she 's the one who approaches him.

'You 're not old enough to drink, ' are her first words. She looks disapprovingly at his beer.

It startles a laugh out of him. 'Going to arrest me? ' Chuuya asks sarcastically, raising an eyebrow.

'Sergeant Sakaguchi told me what you did, ' says Tsujimura, lowering her voice. 'He won 't thank you for it, but I will. It 's a good thing you did, getting a man like Shibusawa arrested for his crimes. '

'I didn 't do it to be a good person, ' says Chuuya dismissively.

He 's not going to accept praise for something he doesn 't deserve. It had worked out how he 'd wanted it to. Shibusawa is in custody, and the deal with GSS had fallen through. He 'd sold it to Mori as being to PMR 's benefit, and Mori hadn 't pushed him on his decision. Mori 'd been entertained if anything.

'The sergeant told me that you used to play with one of the bands under Gelhert Sound Services when you were fifteen, ' says Tsujimura, voice gentler than it had been before, 'That you had a falling out with them before you signed with Port Mafia Records. '

'Freaking Four-Eyes, ' says Chuuya bitterly. 'Always poking his nose into things that don 't concern him. ' He takes a drink from his beer and shakes his head.

'I thought it was admirable that you would help your old friends, ' says Tsujimura, surprising him. She smiles a bit at him.

'More like stupid that I 'd throw myself under the bus for people who tossed me aside years ago, ' says Chuuya, rolling his eyes. He shrugs. 'I 've always been a fool. '

'I 'd call it brave, ' argues Tsujimura, looking him right in the eyes. 'You don 't hold grudges and do right by people even when they 've hurt you. Not a lot of people are strong enough to put others before their own pain like that. '

Chuuya doesn 't think before asking, 'Do you want to get out of here? '

Tsujimura 's eyes widen, and her face flushes. But she clears her throat and stands up straighter.

'I 'm a detective, ' she says. 'You 're a Port Mafia Records executive. ' It 's clear she has an idea of all that entails.

'I know, ' says Chuuya, leaning in closer, lowering his voice a bit. He locks eyes with hers, lips lifting in a tiny bit of a smirk. 'Do you want to get out of here? '

'Yeah, ' she answers breathily.

June,

Three Years, Four Months, & Once Week Since the Release of Corruption

Normally, Dazai would be thrilled to get to see Odasaku. He doesn 't come into the city very often, and Dazai doesn 't go anywhere very often. Oda is a little different now, a bit more distant. He 's still kind, but he 's a lot more quiet than he used to be. There would be long pauses in conversation when he and Dazai did see each other.

And normally when Dazai sees Oda, Ango Sakaguchi isn 't there.

It 's a special occasion though. Odasaku is moving to Washington next week, having landed a job there at a hydroelectric power-plant. His family friend had helped him get the position.

Dazai is sad he 's moving so far away, but he knows it 'll make Oda happier. Oda is never quite at ease in L.A, like he can see all the bad memories of the place around him.

Dazai also has his mixed feelings about the city, but he doesn 't have anywhere else he wants to be. He 's getting extremely close to being free to sign with the ADA. The closer it gets, the more impatient he is. It feels like he 's in his own personal purgatory of sorts. Dazai is very eager to get out of it.

But for his going away celebration Oda had requested for Dazai and Ango to both be there, and Dazai hadn 't been able to say no (even if just the

sight

of Ango makes him feel like guzzling acid.)

Dazai is on his best behavior for Oda though, which means he doesn 't speak to Ango at all and ignores him whenever he speaks to him. It 's the most he can offer the lying snake.

It 's clear Oda had tried to recreate the old feelings of the Lupin, but the differences are glaringly obvious. For one, they 're in a park instead of a bar. Two, none of them are drinking (because Ango has apparently inadvertently won that old argument and Oda doesn 't drink anymore.) And three, there 's so much tension between the three of them it 's hard to ignore.

Oda is really trying though. 'Hey, ' he says brightly. 'There 's an ice cream cart. I 'll go get us something. ' He stands up and walks away before either he or Ango can protest.

It 's blatantly obvious Oda had done it in an attempt to make them talk to each other. Dazai rolls his eyes, Odasaku is still trying to play peacekeeper.

'I saw Nakahara recently, ' says Ango, which throws a wrench in Dazai 's plans to ignore anything he says. 'He came into the office. '

'Why the hell would Chuuya do that? ' Dazai can 't help but ask. It makes zero sense.

'He actually assisted us with a case, ' says Ango, frowning a bit (Dazai tries to ignore how familiar of an expression it is.) 'He provided evidence against Tatsuhiko Shibusawa, the CEO of the Dragon Head label. '

That doesn 't make anything clearer. Chuuya going directly after Dragon Head is an odd business move. Dazai can 't see the logic behind it. He 's fairly out of the loop these days when it comes to the music industry.

Ango sighs deeply. 'Dragon Head was trying to buy out Gelhert Sound Services, ' he says, like he 's annoyed at having to explain it to Dazai. 'They were going to take over and drop all their current artists. '

Gelhert Sound Services is a relatively small label. Mori wouldn 't go out of his way to assist them, there would be no real benefit. Which means '

oh Chuuya.

GSS is still the record company that The Sheep are signed with. They 've put out a couple albums the past few years. None of them had done that well, but they had been successful enough to keep them with the label. Chuuya is still protecting the group of backstabbers who had abandoned him immediately due to petty jealousy

years

ago.

It makes something in Dazai 's chest clench. He tends to try and focus on Chuuya 's flaws when he thinks about him, it makes things easier. But Chuuya is still as kind and unselfish as ever, regardless if those people deserve that kindness.

(Dazai had hoped that with time that he would stop missing Chuuya, that the distance would start to ease the ache whenever he truly thinks about him. Dazai 's hopes have not panned out.)

But instead of warming himself up to Ango, the information makes him feel the opposite.

'Stay away from Chuuya, ' warns Dazai, glaring at the other man. It 's almost a threat. Chuuya might be a PMR lackey, but Dazai would die before letting Ango touch him.

Ango isn 't intimated though. He smiles wryly. 'You two really are two of a kind. '

Dazai doesn 't get a chance to ask him what the hell that 's supposed to mean because Oda returns then, handing each of them an ice cream sandwich.

'Thanks, Odasaku, ' says Dazai cheerfully, acting like he and Ango hadn 't just been at each other 's throat the entire time.

Ango also thanks him in a much more subdued way.

'Thanks for doing this guys, ' says Oda, holding his own sandwich but not making a move to eat it. 'You two truly are some of the greatest friends I 've ever had. I 'm thankful to have met both of you. '

'We feel the same, ' says Ango simply. For once, Dazai has to agree with him.

'We 'll always be friends, ' says Dazai to Oda, echoing what he 'd told him on the worst night of his life.

'Of course, Dazai, ' agrees Odasaku, giving him a huge grin.

Chuuya knocks on Kouyou 's door and waits for her to say to come in. After she does her enters, a bit surprised to have been asked here this early in the morning. He and Kouyou spend time together, but rarely like this. Kouyou had sent him a calendar invite to come at this time, it 's very out of the ordinary.

For once, Kouyou isn 't working on something else when he goes to see her. She waves him forward to take a seat in front of her. Chuuya does, even more surprised that there 's no tea in sight. Apparently this actually

is

a work meeting.

Despite having the same position, he and Kouyou rarely intersect with business directly. Kouyou has mastered the art of business deals, and since Dazai 's left she 's gotten extremely adept at marketing as well. Chuuya on the other hand gets sent out of the country to try and get new things started or works on music, which Kouyou hasn 't done much of since she became an executive.

That 's why it 's even more surprising that the paper on Kouyou 's desk is sheet music. Chuuya does a bit of a double take when he notices.

'I have a proposition for you, ' says Kouyou, using her business voice.

'What is it? ' asks Chuuya. This is all very strange.

'Next month will be the five year anniversary of when I released

Golden Demon

, ' says Kouyou. It 's hard to figure out what she 's thinking by her expression and her neutral tone. 'Would you like to release a duet of us doing the song for it? '

'That 's what you want? ' asks Chuuya, laughing a bit at all the formality. 'Why didn 't you just ask? '

'I know you have reservations about recording music, ' says Kouyou, choosing her words carefully.

Chuuya sighs, shaking his head. 'Yeah, but that 's different. I 'd love to do

Golden Demon

with you. I love that song, always have. I 'm more surprised

you

want to do it. I didn 't think you were ever going to release music again. '

'Mori suggested doing something to acknowledge it, ' say Kouyou, leaning back in her chair. 'He meant more of a PR thing. But then I came up with the idea, and it wouldn 't go away. '

'That 's awesome, Kouyou, ' says Chuuya, smiling at her warmly. He 's always hated how Kouyou 's feelings about music had been ruined by having no other choice than to do it when she was younger. 'I 'm honored you asked, really. '

'We 're going to have to rework it a bit, ' says Kouyou, going back to a more matter of fact tone. But her eyes are brighter. 'Both of our voices have shifted a bit, and we 'll have to figure out the harmonies. And it 's been ages since I did proper vocal exercises. '

'Then I better make us some tea, ' says Chuuya. He stands up and walks over to the kettle. 'My old voice coach told me it was good for the vocal cords. '

It 's different working with Kouyou again. So much has changed since they'd worked on songs together when he was fifteen. He no longer takes whatever she says as gospel or gets nervous to share his opinion when it differs from hers. And he 'd forgotten what it was like for her to ruthlessly tear down his ideas. It 's humbling to say the least.

He 's having a lot of fun though, working with her again. It 's the most time they 've spent together in years. It 's kind of nostalgic to go to her office first when he gets to the PMR in the morning. It 's half memory, half new experience.

They 've pretty much figured out the song, they 're just trying to perfect it before they start recording. Chuuya had also almost forgotten how much fun and work it is to sing professionally. He 's sang to himself and with friends the past couple years, but he really hasn 't gone full out in a long time. The first couple days are a bit rough, and he 's embarrassingly pitchy.

Chuuya 's life at work is incredibly satisfying. It 's his life when he 's not at work that 's more complicated.

Chuuya had honestly intended for the thing with Tsujimura to be a one time thing. They 'd woken up the next morning, he 'd made her some coffee, and he 'd thought he 'd never see her again.

Then a couple days later he 'd looked up her phone number and texted her, and it 's spiraled out of control from there.

They 're not exactly dating, but they 're not exactly

not

dating. They just spend a lot of time together at night. And in the morning.

Chuuya knows it 's so fucking stupid it isn 't even funny for him to date a

detective.

That 's why he hasn 't told a soul. He 's keeping it tightly under wraps. Luckily most of his friends are too busy with their own things to notice something is going on.

He 's tried to tell himself to cut it off, but he really doesn 't

want

to. He likes Mizuki, a lot. Way more than he ever liked Charlie (even though it feels a little mean to admit).

But while with Charlie they 'd pretty much talked about music the entire time, he and Mizuki talk about anything but. They both tend to avoid discussing work as a principle.

Instead they talk about everything else. One of her very first questions had been about his family and where he 'd grown up. He 'd avoided the full story, but he 'd told her about being in foster care before meeting The Sheep. She 's a good listener. He just really likes fucking talking to her.

It 's why he 's thoroughly annoyed it 's overlapping with so many thoughts about Dazai. A lot of it has to do with working with Kouyou again, and working on

Golden Demon

. While it had been Kouyou 's song first, Dazai is the one who he sang the song with during so many concerts. He 's the one who 'd he originally arranged the composition for a duet version of the song with.

He 's thinking about him while he 's lying on the floor in his office, they 're working in here today because he has a piano. Kouyou is sitting at the bench and playing the notes while Chuuya listens from his spot on the floor next to her. He 'd grabbed a pillow from his couch to stick under his head.

'Hey, Kouyou, ' says Chuuya while she runs a couple scales during a lull. 'How long did it take you to get over the guy you left PMR with when you were sixteen? ' The question had come to him while thinking over the song he knows is connected to some of those feelings for her.

Kouyou thunks on the keys inelegantly, letting out a loud and unpleasant sound. She turns to fix him with a very cold look, one he 's seen before but hasn 't been on the receiving end of frequently. 'If anyone else had asked me that I would have left the room and started plotting how I could ruin their career, ' she says tightly.

'Sorry, ' says Chuuya quickly, wincing a bit at his thoughtlessness. He sits up on his elbows to give her an apologetic look. 'I wasn 't thinking. '

'No, it 's fine, ' says Kouyou, though her voice is still a little sharper than usual. 'You clearly aren 't asking just to pry into my painful personal business like everyone else. '

'Can we pretend I am? ' asks Chuuya, smiling without any joy.

'Sure, ' says Kouyou, tone much gentler. She sighs. 'I was so naive back then. I really thought love could conquer anything. ' She shakes her head, more openly upset than she usually allows herself to be. She returns Chuuya 's joyless smile. 'Someone once told me I would get over them as soon as I stopped being angry with them. '

'When did you stop being angry? ' asks Chuuya. His own anger seems to have no limits. If that 's the truth, it 's a discouraging one.

'I haven 't stopped being angry, ' says Kouyou softly. She looks at the piano instead of him.

It 's so easy to think of Kouyou as this strong, stone-cold presence. So few people get to see how deeply she cares about things. He also tends to forget how at twenty-four she 's not that much older than he is. It 's because she 's always so calm and wise and understanding with him.

Chuuya had never had any siblings, but he thinks this is what have been like to have an older sister. Someone to look up to and have your back, someone to push you and be on your team. He 's so grateful Mori had assigned her to be his mentor all those years ago.

But he also knows her well enough to recognize she won 't want him to give her sympathy or coddle her. It isn 't her way. It 's a sign of trust that she 's opening up this much to Chuuya, Chuuya won 't ruin it by treating her like she 's weak or damaged.

So he lies back down, changing the subject to something else. It 's the other thing that 's been on his mind a lot lately. Kouyou 's the only one he feels comfortable asking.

'Do you think I 'm a failure if I never record a solo album? ' asks Chuuya, staring at the ceiling of his office.

'What in the world gave you that idea? ' asks Kouyou, sounding almost annoyed.

Chuuya still doesn 't look at her. 'It 's what everyone wants from me. It 's what everyone expects from me. Mori wants it. You want it. Hirotsu, Tachihara, Kajii, I can see it on your guys ' faces. I 'm not an idiot. '

'You are an idiot if you could ever think I 'd call you a failure, ' says Kouyou, tone possibly the most disapproving Chuuya has heard from her. She stands up from the piano and walks over so she can scowl down at him. 'Do you think I 'm a failure because I stopped recording music? '

'Of course not, ' says Chuuya immediately. 'You 're amazing at your job. Everyone knows that. '

'And you 're just as good at yours, ' says Kouyou, crossing her arms. 'I didn 't think you were one of those people who needed praise, but I am thoroughly proud of you. What you 've accomplished at your age is outstanding. Every project you 've ever undertaken has flourished. You 're the furthest thing you could be from a failure. '

Chuuya feels his face heat up, and he turns away for a different reason. 'Thanks, ' he says quietly.

'Stop being such a child and get up off the floor, ' says Kouyou. She nudges him with her foot. 'We have a song to finish. '

Chuuya is just finishing setting up dinner (well, takeout) when Mizuki knocks on the door. He rushes over to answer it.

'Hi, ' he says warmly, gesturing for her to come in.

'Hi, ' she returns with a smile. Mizuki walks inside and they both take up a spot on his couch. It 's pretty late for dinner, but they both tend to have long hours at work.

There are a couple people who know about their arrangement now. Chuuya had been talking to Mori about the

Golden Demon

anniversary single when he 'd sprung that he knew on him.

'It 's come to my attention that you 're dating a detective, ' Mori had said calmly, a wide smile on his face. 'I assume you haven 't told her anything that could damage Port Mafia Records in any way? '

'Of course not, ' Chuuya had said quickly but sincerely. 'I would never. '

'Then we don 't need to discuss it any further, ' Mori had replied.

'You 're not mad? ' Chuuya had asked him, a little surprised.

'Chuuya, I have no interest in who you choose to date, ' Mori had said plainly, giving him a flat look. 'As long as it doesn 't affect your work, it doesn 't make a difference to me. ' His expression had turned a little menacing then. 'Although I 'm sure I don 't have to spell out what would happen if she were to do anything to jeopardize this company. '

'No, I can imagine, ' Chuuya had said, fighting off a shudder.

'Good, ' Mori had said. The tone had been final, dismissing him.

'You think it 's funny, ' Chuuya hadn 't been able to resist saying as he realized it.

'I could never have imagined an executive dating one of the LAPD, ' Mori had said, smirking slightly. 'You tend to defy expectations, Chuuya. It 's a unique quality in a person. '

Chuuya had thanked him, although he wasn 't sure it was fully a complement. Either way, Mori hadn 't brought it up since. Chuuya is perfectly fine with that.

But if Mori knew, it had been inevitable that Kouyou found out too. She had defiantly not found it funny.

'You 're dating a cop, ' she 'd said to him the next day when he went to her office. The words had been brimming with contempt. Chuuya had been very wrong when he 'd thought he 'd heard her most disapproving tone previously.

'I didn 't mean to, ' Chuuya had said, aware that it was a weak excuse. 'And technically, she 's a detective. '

'You 're dating a

cop

, ' Kouyou had repeated, shaking her head angrily. 'I can name five illegal things that crossed your path just this morning. '

'I honestly didn 't mean to. It just happened, ' Chuuya had said. It had sounded bad even to himself. He wasn 't going to apologize for it though. He didn 't regret it.

'When this ends in disaster, you will remember I warned you, ' were Kouyou 's final words on the matter. After that she had refused to hear more of his explanations. She 'd pushed it aside to work on recording

Golden Demon

together. Her compartmentalization skills have always been powerful.

'It 's a little strange eating cheap Chinese food on famous singer Chuuya Nakahara 's couch, ' says Mizuki, smiling as she eats a piece of orange chicken. 'I don 't think anyone would believe me if I told them. '

'Who said it was cheap? ' asks Chuuya in mock offense.

Mizuki rolls her eyes. 'If you had told me this would happen when I was back in high school I would have been in total shock. I used to listen to Double Black in my car when I drove places. My boyfriend at the time got very annoyed with it. '

'It 's a good thing you 're not with him anymore, ' says Chuuya with a smirk. 'Sounds like he has bad taste in music. '

Mizuki laughs. She has a nice laugh, loud and full.

'He had bad taste in a lot of things, ' says Mizuki. 'But I ignored all that at the time. First love has a way of blinding us to the other 's faults. '

'That 's an understatement, ' says Chuuya, tone a little wry. He takes a large bite out of an egg roll to distract himself from the heavy notion.

'Who was your first love? ' asks Mizuki, smiling at him. 'Charles Dickens? '

Usually it 's something he likes about Mizuki, that she asks him normal questions about himself. But he lets out a hard snort at this one.

'No, ' says Chuuya definitively. Then his voice shifts to something more cautious. 'I actually met them before I became famous. I was sixteen, they were my best friend. '

'That sounds nice, ' says Mizuki, tone a little wistful, 'Falling in love with your best friend. '

'It was a lot less charming in reality, ' says Chuuya, frowning at his food as he picks at it. 'They were a pain in the ass actually. We were constantly arguing about something. '

'Clearly it couldn 't have been all bad if you were in love with them, ' points out Mizuki.

'There was this one time where I was just having like the shittiest fucking day, and I couldn 't stand to be around anyone, ' says Chuuya thoughtfully, still being able to picture the view from the Yokohama docks even though it 's been years. 'And they dragged me to this karaoke bar of all places. ' He shakes his head. 'I don 't even know why I let them. But then we just spent hours dicking around and screaming out songs at the top of our lungs, ' says Chuuya, not able to hold back a smile, 'And I couldn 't even remember why I had been so upset in the first place. It ended up being one of the best days of my life. '

He feels his throat tighten a little as he recalls it. It 's been a long time since he thought about that day. It had started out so horribly, and he remembers that part clearly too. But that 's completely drowned out by the image of Dazai laughing and dancing to that ridiculous song.

'It sounds like they meant a lot to you, ' says Mizuki, kind voice bringing him back to the present.

'It does, doesn 't it? ' asks Chuuya, tone a little rueful. He shakes his head and tries to get his head out of that risky space. 'Sorry if that was all kind of vague bullshit. I just can 't give up that person 's privacy, even if we aren 't speaking anymore. '

'You don 't have to explain yourself, ' says Mizuki, smiling at him. She passes him the fried rice. 'I think it 's sweet. Chuuya Nakahara is fiercely protective over the people he cares about. '

Chuuya puts down the carton instead and pulls her in closer so that she 's leaning against him. 'Enough about me. I want to hear more about how you were one of my teenage groupies. '

'I did not say that, ' says Mizuki, laughing and shoving at him a little.

Mid-July, Almost Three Years &

Six Months 'Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya is on his laptop sitting on his couch in the living room when someone knocks on his door. It surprises him. It 's very late, he should probably be asleep by now. But he 'd been in the middle of trying to fix a verse and hadn 't been able to put it down.

He walks over to the door and opens it to reveal Mizuki. She looks very agitated, and it looks like she came straight from work. She 's still in the more formal attire she wears for her job. She 's pacing but stops once she notices Chuuya.

'Something wrong? ' asks Chuuya, eyebrows raised. They hadn 't planned to meet up tonight, and she 'd never shown up unannounced before.

'I can 't do this anymore, ' says Mizuki, voice both sad and angry as she walks into Chuuya 's place. She starts pacing again when she gets inside.

'Do what anymore? ' asks Chuuya, though he has a sinking feeling he knows what she 's talking about.

'I can 't see you anymore, ' says Mizuki, sighing deeply. 'It 's wrong. It 's always been wrong. But I liked you, and you 're so stupidly charming that I tried to ignore it. But I can 't. '

Chuuya really doesn 't know what to say to that. He crosses his arms and watches her, trying to keep his expression somewhat neutral.

'I like you a lot, ' continues Mizuki. 'And I can see myself liking you more and more, which is why I 've let this go on for so long. '

She stops pacing to fix him with a hard look, her voice changing to something more calm and confident. 'I 'm not one of those people who became a police officer just to have a job. I care about what we do. I think it 's important. '

'I want to help make this city a better place, ' says Mizuki, passion clear from her tone and eyes. 'It 's why I worked so hard to become a detective. '

'I never thought that you didn 't, ' says Chuuya, keeping his tone mild.

'Please don 't interrupt me, ' says Mizuki, holding up a hand. 'I have to get through all of this. '

Chuuya frowns but keeps quiet, gesturing for her to go on.

'I want to further my career, ' says Mizuki. 'Sergeant Sakaguchi has been an amazing mentor to me, and I know you hate him, but he 's a good man. He works tirelessly to put criminals away. '

Chuuya doesn 't hold back a scowl as she praises the scummy traitor, he doesn 't even want to. But he 'd agreed to let her finish so he doesn 't speak up.

'He doesn 't talk about his time in Port Mafia Records much, ' says Mizuki, now looking a little more awkward. 'But he 's said enough and I 've heard enough to know what kind of company it is. I can 't support a place like that. It isn 't true to my values. The music you guys produce is one thing, but I can 't separate it from everything else. '

She pauses, trying to gauge Chuuya 's reaction to her declaration. 'You can talk now. '

'I 'm not arguing with you, ' says Chuuya, shrugging. 'I never claimed to be anything I 'm not. And I respect your decision. ' In the back of his mind, Chuuya had always known it wasn 't going to last.

'I don 't know if it 's better or worse that you 're being so understanding, ' says Mizuki, frowning a little.

'It was fun while it lasted, ' says Chuuya, smirking back. It 's better than getting weepy about it.

This really does suck, but it 's not like she 's wrong. Logically, they aren 't going to be able to keep tiptoeing around the fact that they have very different goals and priorities. The strain had already started to show, they 'd started to run out of things to say that avoided their work completely.

Mostly he 's going to miss someone to talk about stuff with. She 'd been almost a better friend than she 'd been a girlfriend. Chuuya doesn 't regret the time they 'd spent together, not a single second of it.

'It really was, ' agrees Mizuki. She smiles sadly at him.

They stand there awkwardly for a moment, neither of them saying anything.

'Seeing as you just dumped me, ' says Chuuya, smiling to let her know there are no hard feelings, 'You should probably get the hell out of my apartment. '

Mizuki laughs, shaking her head at him. 'You 're probably right. '

He opens the door for her, standing in the doorway as she hesitates before leaving. She looks a little defeated but not crushed.

'Scram, ' says Chuuya, trying to help her get out of her melancholy.

She rolls her eyes but waves and starts walking towards the elevator. She doesn 't look back again, and Chuuya shuts the door behind her with a huge sigh.

Dating is awful, why does he keep doing it again? Chuuya turns on some music to try and cheer himself up while he pours himself a glass of wine.

He 's upset about Mizuki, but the thing that 's pissing him off the most right now is that somehow Kouyou always end up being right.

From now on, he 's going to follow her example. She doesn 't waste her time with frivolous attempts at romance, she focuses on her job. Chuuya should do the same.

And clearly, there where very little merit to the idea that you could get over someone by dating someone else. Chuuya resolves not to even consider trying anything again until he 's finally past all this crap with the worthless mackerel (though there 's a tiny voice inside his head that is suspicious that he never will be.)

August, Three Years, Six Months, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

It is

finally

here. After a year and a half of good behavior (well, decent behavior) Dazai is set to start with the Audio Detective Agency next week. It 's a good thing too, he 'd been starting to go slightly nuts with waiting. Santoka has been increasingly annoyed with his antics to keep busy.

So he 'd started one minor fire, nothing had been damaged. (It had been better than listening to Kouyou and Chuuya 's duet of

Golden Demon

for the thousandth time. His voice is still 'that 's not a sentence worth pursing further.)

Right now he 's at a department store with Santoka in the men 's clothing section, trying on clothes for his new career with the ADA. It 's nice to have a reason to not wear sweatpants for once. Santoka is sitting on a chair in the dressing room, though he isn 't very interested as Dazai tries things on.

'How about this? ' asks Dazai, coming out of the changing room and showing off his latest choice, a dark vest over a light blue dress shirt. He 's added a bolo tie and a blue pendant to spice up the outfit. His bandages peak out at his wrists and neck.

Santoka had never said anything about the bandages other than asking him to take out the bathroom garbage if he was going to fill it up so frequently with them.

'I still don 't see why you don 't just wear a suit, ' says Santoka for the fifth time today. He doesn 't seem ecstatic about sending his Saturday shopping with Dazai.

'Black is such an ugly color, ' says Dazai lightly, doing a spin in the mirror. 'I 'm sick of it. '

Santoka 's expression changes, a knowing look in his eyes.

'Tan, ' says Santoka, standing up and walking over to a rack with tan trench coats. 'Tan is a nice color. It would go nicely with that. '

He passes one of the coats to Dazai. It makes Dazai think of Odasaku, and the outfit he 'd worn as a PMR shipping department employee. It feels right to have a piece of him with him while he 's doing this. He 's the one who inspired him to make the change.

'Tan is an excellent color, ' says Dazai, slipping the coat on. He flashes Santoka a huge grin and a thumbs up.

The Audio Detective Agency is still in L.A, but a very different part of L.A. than Dazai is used to. They don 't have an office all to themselves, they share the building with other businesses. There 's a small cafe on the first floor that Dazai would stop at if he weren 't already running late.

Fukuzawa had offered Dazai a place to stay in an apartment near the office where most of the other employees lived. Dazai had moved in over the weekend, not that he had much stuff to bring. Still, he 'd made Santoka help him with his few boxes (and he might have filled one of those boxes with books that he 'd swiped from him.)

The apartment is possibly even smaller than Chuuya 's old dorm had been. It 's a good thing Dazai didn 't have a lot of stuff. He 's not sure a piano would even fit in the combination kitchen living room. The bedroom and bathroom are tiny as well, and he 's back to sleeping on a twin bed. His legs hang off the edge.

He 'd had trouble sleeping the night before, too full of energy and anticipation. The unfamiliar environment hadn 't helped either. The walls were very thin, and he could hear muffled voices talking around him. The windows also let in a lot of city noise.

Dazai had taken a while to fall asleep and then accidentally overslept. He 'd gotten ready in a rush after waking up and is walking up to the third floor of the building the ADA is housed in almost an hour later than he 'd been told to arrive.

Dazai puts a smile on his face though and opens the door to the office with a flourish.

'Hello, everybody, ' he says brightly as he takes in the space and the people. They all look up at his arrival.

'It is your first day and you are ridiculously late, ' says a tall man with long dark blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. His voice is deep and full of displeasure. He adjusts his glasses on his face. His outfit kind of mirrors Dazai 's in a way, a black dress shirt with a tan vest and pants.

'I got lost, ' lies Dazai easily. He looks around at the office. He 's trying not to be judgmental, but

this

place is a record label? Santoka had said it was small, but this place is practically microscopic compared to PMR.

'You got lost walking from your apartment a few blocks away? ' asks the blonde with glasses, frowning and slightly glaring at Dazai.

Dazai places him as Doppa Kunikida, one of the ADA 's few artists. Dazai had tried to listen to everything the ADA had put out in preparation, but he 'd failed when he 'd gotten to Ranpo Edogawa 's discography. The guy is a little older than Dazai, yet he 's written

hundreds

of songs.

'Some of us spend our time on more important things than directions, ' says another man. He 's sitting on top of his desk and smirking at Dazai. He 's short and his messy black hair is covered with a dark brown page boy style hat. The hat matches his pants and the coat that he's wearing around his shoulders like a cape. He wears a dark vest over an untucked and wrinkled white dress shirt with a loose blue striped tie.

'I 'm Ranpo Edogawa, ' says the short man, his green eyes full of amusement. 'The greatest songwriter in the world. '

'You 're only saying that because you can 't figure out how to use the L.A. bus system, ' says Kunikida, turning to glare at Ranpo instead.

'I 'm Junichiro Tanizaki, ' says a redheaded boy. He rolls his eyes at Kunikida and Ranpo, who are now arguing and have forgotten Dazai completely. He 's the most casually dressed of all of them, wearing a white long sleeve and jeans with a red sweatshirt tied around his waist.

'Aren 't you a little young to be working here? ' asks Dazai, frowning a little. He hadn 't heard that the ADA recruited young artists like PMR did.

'It 's summer, ' says Tanizaki, sounding a little offended at Dazai 's question. 'I only work part-time during the school year. '

'Oh, the newbie 's here, ' says a woman, coming into the room from a side hallway. 'We were wondering when you were going to show up. '

She walks over to Dazai and Tanizaki, red high heels clicking as she does. She wears a mid-length black skirt over a white dress shirt with a black tie. The golden butterfly pin clipped into her short dark hair stands out. Her hands are covered with black gloves up to her elbows as she sticks out one of them.

'Akiko Yosano, ' she says, smiling at him with a lot of teeth. 'Head editor at the ADA. '

'Osamu Dazai, ' says Dazai, smirking back and shaking her hand. Her grip is so tight he barely avoids a wince.

Yosano winks at him as she takes her hand back. 'Welcome aboard. ' Then she goes to join Ranpo and Kunikida, who are still arguing. Or rather Kunikida is semi-lecturing Ranpo angrily while Ranpo looks on with a blank face and occasionally says something rude back.

'Never go to Yosano for edits unless you truly have to, ' says Tanizaki in a low voice, watching Yosano with more than a little fear.

'Then why is she the head editor? ' asks Dazai, turning to look at the kid in confusion.

'She is very good at her job, ' says Tanizaki, shuddering a little bit.

Dazai doesn 't get the chance to follow up on that because an older man walks out from the same doorway Yosano had come from, and everyone immediately turns to face him as he does.

'Mr. President, ' says Kunikida with deep respect. He 's practically bowing.

The man who must be Yukichi Fukuzawa nods back. He 's very tall and has slightly long silver hair that he keeps short in the front. Unlike the others, he 's dressed in a dark green kimono and wearing sandals. The formal Japanese attire is a surprise.

Dazai looks over the man and wonders how in the hell he became friends with Santoka Taneda.

'Dazai, ' says Fukuzawa, voice even deeper than Kunikida 's. He turns to him with a serious expression. 'Would you join me in my office? '

'Of course, ' says Dazai lightly. He ignores the looks of the others as he follows the president through the hallway he 'd come through to a room in the corner of the ADA's office space. Inside is a large desk and shelves full of books on music theory. Perhaps he and Santoka have something in common after all.

Dazai keeps trying not to compare the place to PMR, but the office is bite sized compared to Mori 's. In fact, he thinks he could possibly fit the entire office space of the ADA in Mori 's office.

Fukuzawa gestures for Dazai to take a seat while he sits behind the desk. Dazai does, trying to get a read on the man. He seems to exude the same authority that Mori always had, but in a slightly different way. It 's clear everyone here listens to what he has to say.

In other words, it 's essential for Dazai to win him over if he wants to work here.

'I was reluctant to take someone on who 'd worked so closely for that many years with Ogai Mori, ' says Fukuzawa, the sentence matter of fact but not cruel. 'But Taneda highly recommend you. And I am also a firm believer in second chances, as I have benefited greatly from them myself. '

'Thank you for giving me a chance, ' says Dazai, dropping his usual cheerful facade. He doesn 't think the president is the type who would appreciate it.

'Don 't make me regret it, ' says Fukuzawa. It 's clearly a warning. 'We run a clean business here. The underhanded tactics Port Mafia Records uses have no place in this office, and I will not hesitate to ask you to leave if I notice you slipping back into them. '

'I won 't, ' says Dazai. He tries to put his conviction into the words. But he also can 't help but question his new employer. 'You sound more familiar with PMR than I thought you would be, almost as if speaking from personal experience. '

'I have known Ogai Mori for a long time, ' says Fukuzawa. His facial expression doesn 't change from his serious one, though there is a slightly more visible frown. He doesn 't add anything else though.

Dazai fights off his surprise. He doesn 't meet many people who knew Mori from before he took over PMR, and even less who sound that familiar with him as a person.

'He 'll likely come after the ADA once he finds out I 've signed here, ' says Dazai, his hatred of the man slipping out a little. 'He 'll take it as a personal challenge. '

'I am not afraid of him, ' declares Fukuzawa without any hesitation. He gives Dazai a hard look.

Dazai nods, believing him. Fukuzawa is not what he expected. The ADA in general is very different than what he 'd been picturing. But none of the differences have been bad.

'I 'm assigning you to work with Kunikida for now, ' says Fukuzawa, putting the matter behind them. 'He 'll be a good person to show you the ropes of how we do things here. We don 't have a large staff, so we all help each other out. '

'Sounds good, ' says Dazai, smiling at the president. Kunikida seems very high strung, Dazai is going to have fun helping him loosen up.

'After a while we can shift to you creating your own album, ' says Fukuzawa. 'If that 's something you want. '

Dazai pauses for a split second, because the concept it still full of mixed feelings for him. But he quickly recovers. 'Looking forward to it, ' he says, not even sure if he 's lying.

'Welcome to the Audio Detective Agency, ' says Fukuzawa. He leans forward and holds out a hand for Dazai to shake. For the first time a hint of a smile is on his face.

Dazai shakes his hand enthusiastically. 'Thanks, Mr. President. '

Fukuzawa goes back to his neutral expression. 'Haruno will help you with your paperwork. '

It 's a gentle dismissal. Dazai smiles as he stands up, walking out of the office with a smile. 'You got it, Boss, ' he says cheerfully over his shoulder as he leaves.

It 's not out of the ordinary for Mori to call him in for a private meeting, but Chuuya usually knows what it 's about. But he has no idea what Mori wants to talk to him about now.

He approaches the top floor of PMR with equal curiosity and anticipation. Ever since the release of the (extremely popular)

Golden Demon

single he 's been searching for what to do next. Chuuya hopes that whatever Mori wants to discuss will help him solve that problem.

Chuuya knocks on Mori 's door when he reaches it and is instantly called inside. He walks in and approaches Mori. Despite how many times he 's been in this office now, the view and grandeur of the place still impress him.

Mori gestures for him to come forward, and Chuuya takes a seat in a chair across from his desk. Mori 's desk isn 't blank, there 's stacks of folders and papers on it. But the space in front of him is currently blank.

'I 've received some news, ' says Mori. For once, any hit of cheeriness is gone. His expression and his eyes are flat as they look at Chuuya. It's unsettling. 'Dazai has signed a record deal with the Audio Detective Agency. '

'He

what

? ' Chuuya practically demands. He has to fight to not spring out of his chair. He has trouble believing Mori, but he 'd never lie, not about this.

'Yes, ' says Mori, and his displeasure makes more sense now. Chuuya hasn 't ever seen him so blatantly angry. 'It 's a small, independent label, run by a man named Yukichi Fukuzawa. '

'What are we going to do about it? ' asks Chuuya, trying to get a hold of his emotions. Surely Mori won 't stand for this. He has to have a plan.

'Unfortunately, ' says Mori, the word practically caustic in his delivery, 'We are not able to do anything. I 've had previous dealings with Fukuzawa, and I 'm not able to take any actions against him. '

It hits Chuuya like a slap in the face. Dazai has signed with another label, and they 're not going to do a single thing about it. He hears himself demanding back when he'd first left,

So he just gets away with this?

He had been reassured that he wouldn 't, but apparently they 'd been wrong.

Fucking Dazai, that slimy motherfucker had planned ahead, joining a label they couldn 't reach him at. He 's still as mischievous and plotting as ever apparently.

Chuuya had thought that after what had happened to his friends that Dazai was stepping back from music. Chuuya had been livid about the way he 'd done it, but a small part of him had somewhat understood his choice. He 'd thought the ghostwriting was just a means to an end. He didn 't know that Dazai had been just biding his time until he could do this.

Instead, Dazai is going to be releasing music for another fucking company. Chuuya is going to have to hear his fucking music. He 's going to have to play nice in front of the cameras when people ask him about him. He might even have to fucking

see

him at industry events.

Any progress he had made towards getting over Dazai 's departure evaporates in an instant.

'Is there a reason why you 're telling me this in particular? ' Chuuya asks Mori, almost angry at him in a way for singling him out.

'I thought you 'd like to know before I announced it at our next executive meeting, ' says Mori cooly, eyes flashing a warning that Chuuya is playing with fire. He won 't tolerate disrespect from Chuuya, no matter how much he likes him.

'Right, ' says Chuuya, practically having to force the word out of his mouth. He lets out a shaky breath and somehow puts on a more neutral expression. 'Thank you for the update. '

'You 're free to go, ' says Mori. His voice is a little less cold, but still hard.

'Got it, Boss, ' says Chuuya, making sure to use a more deferential tone. Mori nods at him, accepting the semi-apology.

Chuuya gets up and walks out of the room, and if it had been anyone 's office other than Mori 's he would have slammed the door behind him. But he keeps his cool as he descends a floor to the executive suite, heading towards his own office. He pulls his phone out and sends a quick email as he does.

He hits send on his email requesting a new phone as he enters his office. The second the door is closed he hurls the phone at the wall as hard as he can. It breaks with a loud thud against the surface, pieces flying everywhere.

'SON OF A BITCH, ' he shouts furiously.

March, Four Years, One and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

Time passes quickly once he joins the ADA. His days of quiet reading and poorly made home-cooked meals are over. There is never a dull moment at the ADA. They 're always frantically working on something, mostly because due to their tiny workforce they have to do everything themselves.

Working with Kunikida has been thoroughly amusing. The man 's fuse is about as long as a pencil. He flies off the handle at the drop of a hat. But he 's also a talented musician, though his style is very different than Dazai 's.

Dazai hadn 't planned to get attached to the people at the ADA, he certainly hadn 't cared much for his coworkers at PMR (with one glaring exception). But the people here have wormed their way into Dazai 's good graces, and Dazai can 't get them out.

Ranpo is obnoxious, and he needs to be escorted whenever he goes anywhere outside the office, but he 's brilliant when he feels like it. He works the least out of all of them and gets the most done. He finishes songs with ease and is contracted by other labels to help them with theirs on a constant basis. He also almost always is eating something sweet, and his clothes are often dusted with powdered sugar.

Dazai wouldn 't say he clicks with Ranpo in the same way he had with Chuuya, but they approach music in a similar way. There 's an analytical aspect to both of their songs. They want to create music that has no flaws, where there are no off notes. Dazai knows he can count on Ranpo if he 's ever stuck with an imperfection in a song (not that Dazai admits defeat very often, he has a reputation to uphold.)

He also quickly understood why Tanizaki had warned him about Yosano. She approaches editing with almost violent enthusiasm. Dazai had thought he was a perfectionist, but he has nothing on Yosano. If you went to her with a small questions she ended up trapping you in her office for hours, listening to the same section over and over again until she was satisfied they 'd gotten it right.

Dazai is also wary and intrigued by Yosano for a different reason. After spending some time thinking it over he 'd finally put it together. He 'd waited to ask her about it in private though.

'You used to be a singer, ' Dazai had said, careful not to phrase it as an accusation. 'When you were a child. Your manager was-. '

'Ogai Mori, ' Yosano had snapped, cutting him off. 'Yes, I did. Never mention that swine to me again if you want to keep your fingers. '

Dazai had clutched his hands into fists without thought as if to protect said fingers. 'Of course, ' he 'd agreed easily. He 'd tried to smile in apology.

Yosano had scoffed and kicked him out of her office.

But she hasn 't treated him any differently since. Of all of them, she seems to be the only one who truly doesn 't hold his past employment with PMR against him. Yosano clearly has an idea of what it 's like to be stuck with a guy like Mori as your superior.

Ranpo also doesn 't mind that he used to work for PMR, but that 's because he has no interest in things that don 't directly involve himself. In fact, he 'd told Dazai that he 'd never really created anything that had impressed Ranpo except for maybe Double Black. And he 'd added that not all the songs were of the same quality on the album either, and that one song like

Corruption

couldn 't offset the other lackluster ones.

Dazai had brushed off his insults with a smile and then stolen from his stash of lollipops in revenge. It had seemed like a justifiable way to get back at him.

Tanizaki isn 't around the office as much now that he 's in school. Fukuzawa is adamant that he is not allowed to drop out. He says nothing good happens to artists who neglect their schoolwork for fame before they 're ready.

Dazai hadn 't commented, though it had brought up memories of Hirotsu making Chuuya do math worksheets in the Philippines. He kind of agrees with Fukuzawa, from a moral standpoint. From his old business views, it comes off as slightly naive.

He tries to fight that kind of thinking down though. Dazai 's tendencies to be a bit ruthless when he didn 't like a song had not been well-received when he 'd first started. He 'd almost made Tanizaki cry, and Kunikida had lectured him about it for over an hour.

Tanizaki might be the one who holds Dazai 's past with PMR against him the most. He hates PMR with a vehemence that is strange for someone who's had no direct dealings with them. He constantly insults them whenever they get brought up (which is as infrequent as Dazai can make it.)

Dazai doesn 't really get why he hates them so much. Dazai hates them too, but that's personal. A slightly corrupt record company isn 't out of the ordinary for L.A. He has a theory that Tanizaki 's disdain

might

stem from the fact that he 's a young artists that PMR had felt wasn 't worth recruiting, but Dazai keeps that theory firmly to himself.

Tanizaki is only rude to him about it when it comes up though. The rest of the time he 's pretty easy-going. He acts like an ordinary teenager, complaining about school and his classmates. He brings his sister Naomi in with him sometimes. She is

very

affectionate with her brother, in a way that Dazai has other theories about but once again keeps to himself.

Fukuzawa is mostly absent, choosing to handle business from the solitude of his office. He leads the ADA with a different kind of strength than Mori. He doesn 't hide his coldness with a mask, he is always very direct with his expectations. Everyone here tries to meet those expectations with enthusiasm.

Dazai spends most of his time with Kunikida though. Kunikida also holds a lot of disdain for PMR, but with less emotions than Tanizaki. He mostly seems to disapprove of them breaking the law (which is kind of hilarious.) But he doesn 't bring it up much. Kunikida attempts to be polite (Dazai has a lot of fun getting him to say what he really thinks of things.)

Despite he and Kunikida being so different, they work surprisingly well together. Their first project together had been working on Kunikida 's second album, Spring Birds. It 's due for release soon after spending eight months on it.

That 's the other thing that 's the most different about the ADA, they 're always working but things moves along very, very slowly. Mostly because they have to do everything themselves. They have to do the writing, the editing, the recording, the designs, the PR, the scheduling, the

everything.

Dazai had been humbled to find out how hard everyone at the ADA has to work just to finish a single album. PMR usually had a bunch of different albums in the works at once and legions of people working on them. Beyond genuinely liking his new coworkers, he holds a lot of respect for them. There had been a couple people at PMR who he 'd admired for their work ethic, people like Kouyou and Hirotsu, but they 'd still had tons of outside help. The ADA puts them to shame.

Right now Dazai is in his favorite spot in the office, lying on the couch in the break area of their main office space. Kunikida, Ranpo, Haruno, Dazai, and Tanizaki all have desks out here. Yosano has her private office that is set up to be soundproof so she can work without distractions. The other rooms in the office are the recording studio, the president 's office, and the music room.

The equipment and instruments they have are all surprisingly in very good condition. Though the ADA doesn 't have a lot of money, they invest in the things they care about. The recording studio and music room are the nicest rooms in the office by far.

Dazai 's desk, on the other hand, is cheap and constantly almost falling apart. Mostly because Dazai tends to store heaps of sheet music and PR strategies on top of it. His disorganization drives Kunikida wild (which is another reason Dazai does it.)

But unlike his stiff desk chair, the couch in the break area is perfectly comfortable. Dazai spends a lot of time lying here, claiming to Kunikida that the spot is good for his creativity. Kunikida calls him a lazy asshole and drags him back to work fairly often.

He 's marching towards Dazai now, a scowl already in place. 'Stop slacking off, ' says Kunikida, crossing his arms. 'We have work to do. '

Dazai frankly forgets that he and Kunikida are the same age sometimes, he acts like such a grumpy old man.

'Taking rests is restorative for the creative area of the brain, ' lies Dazai breezily.

Kunikida gives him a long look. 'Is that true? '

'No, ' says Dazai with a wide smile. 'I made it up. How have you made it this far in life being so gullible, Kunikida? '

Kunikida bristles at the insult. 'I don 't have time for your childish games, Dazai. ' He glares down at him. 'The release of Spring Birds is rapidly approaching, and you might not care about that, but I do. '

'I never said I didn 't care, ' says Dazai, sitting up and giving Kunikida a more serious look. 'There 's not much left we can do on our end. Really all that 's left is for Yosano to do her final run through and Haruno to finish up the administrative things. '

Haruno doesn 't look up at the mention of her name. She 's fairly quiet, and she wears headphones while she works. One of the only things Dazai knows about her is that she likes cats. She spends a lot of time helping out the president directly.

'That doesn 't mean we should rest while they contribute, ' says Kunikida shortly. 'There are other things we could work on. Tanizaki left a song he 's working on. Or you could assist Ranpo. '

'I don 't need any assistance, ' calls out Ranpo easily from his desk at the other end of the room.

Dazai gestures as if to say that proves his point. 'You are allowed to take a break once in a while, Kunikida. '

'I don 't need a break, ' says Kunikida, shaking his head. 'Being idle is for the lazy. If we 're not going to work on my album, it 's time we finally start discussing yours. '

Dazai freezes up at the suggestion. He 's been happy to work on Kunikida 's album exclusively since he started, claiming any solo album of his own could wait. He 'd acted like he felt that way because he was a team player.

In reality, Dazai is still majorly apprehensive about doing a solo album. Kunikida had been the main driver behind his own album, Dazai had mostly nudged him in the right direction. It had been a different sort of partnership than he 'd had as a duo.

If they start working on Dazai 's solo album, he 's going to have to be in charge. He 'd written countless songs since leaving PMR, but none of them had been for himself. He hasn 't tried to make anything he intends to sing since he was sixteen. It 's 'unnerving.

Dazai has been incredibly busy since he started working at the ADA. Much too busy to think about his former partner much. Although now that Dazai is back in the music industry he can 't avoid hearing about him from time to time. Chuuya 's name seems to be everywhere these days. He 's produced an alarming amount of albums lately, all of them doing extremely well. Chuuya is gaining a reputation as a renowned music producer in addition to being a beloved singer.

Dazai has been very thankful that while his coworkers bring up PMR and Double Black in passing, none of them have been very interested in talking about Chuuya. It 's been a relief not to come up with clever quips to change the subject. The redhead has been almost entirely out of focus for him.

But writing music without him, that 's been a task Dazai still feels a little unprepared for. Despite everything else, Dazai still doesn 't feel right having to start an album alone. He 's tried not to think about how Chuuya hasn 't put one out either. But that 's also because he doesn 't like to dwell on the things Chuuya had struggled to write (or not write) about.

It 's been over two years since he left now. Dazai hasn 't had a single interaction with him in all that time. Not too long from now, he 'll have been not working with Chuuya for longer than he had. The fact kind of makes Dazai want to break something.

He imagines contacting him now and saying any of this,

Hey there, slug. Long time no see. I know you hate my guts, but I don 't want to write music without you.

So much about Dazai 's life has changed since he left PMR behind. He 's truly happy with his choices, he wouldn 't switch back to PMR from the ADA for anything. And yet '

It feels horrendously pathetic to not have moved on from someone despite not speaking to them for over two years. But the hold Chuuya had created on him had been so deep Dazai hasn 't been able to free himself from it. He can 't expunge the memory of Chuuya from his mind.

He 's never deleted those last texts from Chuuya, despite clearing the rest of his phone of all things related to PMR. And when he 'd moved to his apartment near the ADA he 'd been unable to not to bring that old and ridiculous toothbrush (in fact, Dazai had learned how to change the batteries in the thing after they had died.)

Dazai is not some heartsick fool who spends all his time thinking about Chuuya. He 's gone on a myriad of dates after being freed from hiding at Santoka 's. Sure, he 's never dated anyone very seriously. But he does not sit around pining for him.

And yet '

'He 's afraid to write a solo album, ' says Ranpo before Dazai can say anything. He says it very matter of factly.

'I am

not

, ' says Dazai, offense clear in his voice. (He really, really is.)

'That 's absurd, ' says Kunikida, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 'He 's got one of the greatest minds in music, he has nothing to worry about. '

'He 's decent, but he 's not that great, ' says Ranpo. Dazai looks up to see him smiling at them.

Kunikida shakes his head at Ranpo. Then he turns to Dazai. 'Besides, it 's not like you 'll be doing it on your own. That 's why Fukuzawa asked us to work together. '

Dazai has never appreciated Kunikida more than this very moment. He smiles up at him brightly. 'Well, then. Stop dillydallying, Kunikida. Let 's brainstorm! '

Dazai stands up and starts skipping along to the music room. He can hear Kunikida stomping behind him, muttering under his breath about

bandage-wasting lunatics

.

May, Four 'Years, Three and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

'Do you ever read? ' Kunikida asks him out of nowhere one day while they 're in the music room together.

It 's been a couple months since he and Kunikida started working on Dazai 's solo album. Spring Birds had been released and gotten really good reviews. Kunikida had accepted all of the praise humbly. It had sold quite a few copies too (or at least that 's what they'd told Dazai, Dazai has a bit of a skewed perception on album sale numbers.)

Kunikida had gone around on a mini press tour when the album came out to promote it. Dazai had tagged along. It had been weird to be back in the world of interviews and appearances. People had given him some surprised looks when he 'd showed up. It had taken them a moment to place him as Osamu Dazai, former half of Double Black.

Not that Dazai had answered questions himself. He 'd been there as morale support for Kunikida. Kunikida had said he 'd just been there to bother him. Dazai had dragged Kunikida to some of his old favorite places he 'd gone to when he 'd been on the Double Black tour. Kunikida had thought he was messing with him when he 'd said the unusual places held some great memories for him.

Kunikida isn 't touring for the album any time soon though. Apparently the ADA can 't pull the same strings with stadiums and arenas that PMR had been able to (Dazai had known the rushed Double Black tour was an anomaly, but hadn 't realized by how much.) Kunikida says they 'll get something in the works for a tour eventually, but that they should focus on Dazai 's album now.

The writing has been, well, slow. Dazai feels like any original ideas he has have just vanished. It 's slightly embarrassing. He 'd won five Grammys over an album he 'd written when he was sixteen. Now he 's twenty, and he 's struggling to come up with anything.

Kunikida has been both supportive and impatient. He keeps trying to bully Dazai into writing a song, which is amusing but not very helpful.

His question about reading throws Dazai off though. Kunikida probably has no idea how oddly well-read Dazai actually is. He and Santoka still exchange book recommendations whenever Dazai talks to him. The captain is fairly busy, but he still calls Dazai from time to time. Dazai tries not to be weirdly giddy about it when he does.

"Is Kunikida implying I don 't know how? ' asks Dazai, raising his eyebrows at him. They 're sitting at a table in the music room, blank (and mocking) sheet music in front of them.

'No, you idiot, ' says Kunikida, the insult without any real sting. 'What 's your favorite book? '

Dazai thinks about it for a moment.

'Hmmm, probably Roppakukinsei, ' answers Dazai. 'In English it roughly translates to Six White Venus. ' He expects Kunikida to ask him what it 's about but he takes it in a very different direction.

'Do you think that it is without a doubt the most well-written book in history? ' asks Kunikida, crossing his arms. 'That no one else has ever written with such depth, better symbolism, characterization, and plot?

'Probably not, ' admits Dazai with a shrug.

'Exactly, ' says Kunikida, throwing a hand out for emphasis. 'We love books for many reasons, but not because they 're perfect. We love books because they tell a story that for some reason grabs our attention and doesn 't let go. I would rather read a book that I enjoy than read something that 's considered perfect. '

"I wasn 't ever going to mention this because it felt rude, ' continues Kunikida, adjusting his glasses. 'But I 've never cared much for Double Black. Or

Corruption

. ' He frowns and shrugs. 'I mean, sure, it 's undeniably well-written. The lyrics are filled with emotion, and the melody is unforgettable. ' Kunikida shakes his head, frown becoming more pronounced. 'But music doesn 't have to be painful to be great. It 's just as worthwhile to make someone smile with a song as it is to make them cry. Actually, I would argue a smile is more worthwhile. People get enough pain outside of music. '

Surprisingly, Dazai isn 't that insulted by the criticism. He understands where Kunikida is coming from. If Kunikida had just said he hadn 't liked it and left it at that, Dazai would have been secretly livid. He still feels protective over that music, like it 's a part of him.

But he smiles at Kunikida, thinking back to another conversation about what the correct approach to music is. 'Kunikida prefers to make music that helps people. '

'I wouldn 't go so far as to say it helps them, ' says Kunikida, face shifting to a less grave expression. 'But if it can bring some light or joy into their lives, that 's enough for me. '

'So if I were you, I would stop worrying about creating the next

Anna Karina

and just write whatever you want, ' says Kunikida, now speaking with his usual exasperation with Dazai.

'Whatever I want, ' muses Dazai. It 's not bad advice. He doesn 't know if he necessarily agrees with Kunikida 's songwriting philosophy, but it 's certainly worth giving a try.

"Hey Kunikida, what 's your favorite song? ' asks Dazai brightly, giving him a huge grin.

'I suppose it 's

The Prelude

by William Wordsworth, ' answers Kunikida with a nod.

'Would you like to hear mine? ' offers Dazai, pulling out his phone.

'Sure, ' says Kunikida, though he looks a little skeptical.

Dazai turns the volume up to the maximum level so the music blares out loudly.

It 's a Friday, and it 's been a hell of a week,

comes Shirase 's voice from the speaker. Dazai bops along to the lyrics cheerfully.

Feels like I 've been stuck in a losing streak.

Kunikida scrambles for the phone and turns it off before it reaches the chorus, scowling at Dazai darkly.

'Why do I always fall for your tricks? ' Kunikida asks himself, shaking his head.

'Let 's start writing, ' says Dazai cheerfully, throwing down some chords and trying not to overthink them.

As opposed to his former partner, one of his favorite things about Kunikida is that his is very, very predictable. Dazai can almost anticipate his reaction to things down to the exact expression he 'll wear.

He is however very unprepared when Kunikida looks at him one day while they're discussing the album and says, 'It could use a love song. '

It brings up an

old

memory automatically, a much younger Chuuya declaring to him

If we do this I have a condition, I 'm not singing a fucking love song with you.

Dazai quickly tries to shove the recollection away forcefully, giving Kunikida a wide smile.

'Who says I 've been in love? ' asks Dazai, laughing as though Kunikida has made a joke.

'I have zero interest in what you do outside of this office, ' says Kunikida flatly. He adjusts his glasses. 'Besides, you don 't need to have been in love to write a love song. They can be about wanting to find love, or not caring about finding love. '

'Why do you think it needs one? ' asks Dazai, dropping his cheerfulness to be more genuine. He truly doesn 't understand. Spring Birds hadn 't had a love song, Dazai had never suggested it needed one.

'I didn 't say it

needs

one, I said it could use one, ' points out Kunikida. 'Love is one of the emotions that makes people happy. '

That is the unofficial idea behind the album, music that helps makes people feel lighter. It 's very different than what Dazai is used to writing. But since Kunikida had talked him into it, they 've made a lot of progress. The writing has been flowing much easier now.

That doesn 't mean Dazai wants to write a stupid

love song.

Dazai laughs even harder than before. 'Oh Kunikida, ' says Dazai in between laughing, voice just a touch condescending, 'You 've clearly never been in love. '

'I 'm selective about who I spend my time with, ' says Kunikida, flushing a little in probably a combination of anger and embarrassment. 'Or at least I am outside of work. '

Dazai keeps smirking at him.

'Plus even if you 've lost love, it means that at one point you had something worth losing, right? ' asks Kunikida, more confidently. He raises an eyebrow at Dazai.

Dazai sighs heavily. 'I 'll try to write one, ' he says, giving in. He 's trusted Kunikida so far on his ideas. He hadn 't let him astray yet.

Dazai has horrifying thoughts of terrible lyrics about hair like fire and ocean blue eyes, and shudders at them. 'I 'm not promising it 'll be any good though. '

'It doesn 't have to be good, ' says Kunikida, shaking his head. 'Just get something down and we 'll work it into something better. '

'You are a slave driver, Kunikida, ' whines Dazai. He does start jotting down some notes though, picturing an acoustic sound.

'Fukuzawa feels if we keep moving at this pace we could have a fall release for the album, ' says Kunikida.

That surprises Dazai. Kunikida 's album had taken

much

longer. They 've been progressing along pretty smoothly, but they still have a ways to go.

'We 're not even close to thirteen songs, ' says Dazai, giving Kunikida a startled look.

Kunikida gives him a confused look back. 'What does thirteen songs have to do with anything? '

Dazai realizes his slip up, it had been an old Mori saying, that the perfect number of songs for an album was thirteen. He 'd explained it to Dazai once, going off about math and theoretical concepts. Dazai had thought it was boring so he hadn 't paid close attention. But he 's held onto the belief since then and hadn 't challenged it. He and Chuuya had kept working on Double Black until they hit the ironically lucky number thirteen.

'Never mind, ' says Dazai easily. 'Stop distracting me, Kunikida. I 'm writing your stupid love song. '

Kunikida lets out a long breath.

July, Four Years, 'Five and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

'Come in, ' calls Chuuya when someone knocks on his door. He doesn 't look up from the song he has open on his computer though, adjusting the bass a little to see if that fits better.

'Chuuya, ' declares Elise loudly as she walks into his office. 'I need your help. '

'Anything for my best girl, ' says Chuuya breezily, waving her forward. He smiles up at her and hits pause on what he 'd been working on.

'As you know, I am now fifteen years old, ' says Elise solemnly as she takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of his desk. She crosses her arms and gives Chuuya a grave look. 'I want to go to high school. '

Elise has been homeschooled her entire life. Mori had hired her a team of elite tutors to teach her anything she could want. It 's always made Elise smarter than her age. She 'd been studying things like art history and Latin when other kids were learning basic science.

But Chuuya doubts her desire is motivated by the curriculum. Elise has become more sullen about the restrictions she has to deal with as she gets older. She 's tried to slip her assigned protectors more than once (and been successful a couple times too.)

Mori still maintains that it 's too big a risk to send her to school though. It 's put a large strain on their relationship, not that Chuuya would

ever

risk commenting on that. But Elise has been very forthcoming about her dissatisfaction with her guardian with Chuuya. She constantly calls Mori delusional and overprotective.

Chuuya feels for Elise, he really does. He doesn 't get what the hell he 's supposed to do about it though.

'How am I supposed to help with that? ' asks Chuuya, putting his elbows on the desk and leaning forward.

If he can help, he 's willing. Maybe it 's weird for a twenty-one year old record company executive to be such good friends with a fifteen year old girl, but she 's always been one of his biggest supporters for anything he tries. He 'd love to repay the favor.

'You have to talk to Mori for me, ' says Elise, voice almost pleading.

Chuuya blinks at her. 'You want me to what? '

'He listens to you, ' insists Elise, eyes full of desperation as she looks at him. 'He trusts you, he said so at home just the other day. '

Chuuya had known he was one of Mori 's favorites, but he had not known he trusted him. He 's not sure how he feels about Elise handing him the information after he 'd been discussed while they were in their home. It feels like he 'd just accidentally invaded the boss 's privacy.

'He was probably talking about music, Elise, ' says Chuuya gently. He doesn 't want to let her down, but he has no desire to confront Mori about this. He genuinely thinks he might fire him.

'You don 't get it, ' says Elise, and her voice breaks a little. 'I don 't know a single person my age, Chuuya. Not a single person. ' She sniffles. 'I don 't have

any

friends. I 'm always alone. ' Her face crumples, but she holds in her tears. 'And I love you, but it 's not the same. I just want to be a normal kid. '

Chuuya feels like she just kicked him in the heart. That 's all he 's ever wanted for her, a chance to feel like everyone else. He 's always gone out of his way to treat her like that. But she 's right, one person isn 't enough. Especially someone who works for her father who 's constantly busy and often leaves the country for months at a time.

'Please don 't cry, ' says Chuuya, smiling at her softly. 'It probably won 't change anything, but I 'll talk to Mori about it. '

Elise gives him the most adoring look he 's ever seen on her. 'You will? ' she asks, pitch going high. She jumps out of her chair to grabs his hands and squeeze them. 'Thank you, thank you so much, ' says Elise fervently.

Oh fuck, this is going to be terrible. Chuuya tries to keep his expression light though.

'I can 't promise anything, ' Chuuya reminds her gently.

'You are the best thing that ever happened to this company, ' declares Elise, not satisfied with just holding his hands and reaching forward to hug him tightly.

Chuuya pats her on the back a couple times, grimacing while she can 't see his face. Fuck, this is going to be

terrible.

He goes back to grinning though as she pulls away.

'You are the best, ' says Elise. 'Seriously. ' She gives him a more conspiratorial look. 'You should try to get him in the morning. He 's at his most pleasant then. '

Chuuya feels even weirder knowing that they knowing Mori trusted him. He gives her a thumbs up though. 'Will do, ' he says, somehow keeping his anxiety out of his voice.

'Seriously, Chuuya, ' says Elise, going from giddy to more sincere. 'Thank you. I really, really mean it. '

'Anything for my best girl, ' says Chuuya again, smirking at her. Thank fucking shit he is a god damn professional liar at this point in his career. Not that he usually uses it on his friends.

'Good luck, ' says Elise sternly as she turns to go. 'Come see me and tell me what he says after! '

'I will, ' promises Chuuya. He keeps his expression normal until she leaves the office.

Then he bangs his head on his desk. 'Fuck, ' he says to himself loudly.

This is possibly the worst thing he 's had to do in a year of many things that had been extremely awful. He can 't believe he agreed to do this. He must have a death wish.

Ever since Dazai had resurfaced last August, Chuuya has plunged into his work more steadfastly than he ever had before. He 'd produced album after album, edited song after song. He 'd spent a stint in South America and ended up working with Jorge Luis Borges on Ficciones, which had been so popular it 'd even gotten some airplay in America. He 'd gone to Europe again for a while, Germany this time. He 'd also gone to their other offices throughout the U.S, many of which he 'd never been to before. Chuuya hadn 't wasted a single moment, he had been more determined than ever to put PMR on top.

Kouyou, who was the expert at overworking herself, had told him she was concerned he was spreading himself too thin. Chuuya had brushed her off though. The music hadn 't been hurting him, it 'd been helping keep him sane.

He has made time to see her though, and the other people at PMR who he thinks of as his family. He and Mich try to video call at least once a week if they 're in different countries, and Gin is with him ninety percent of the time. He gets sporadic calls from Kajii, which is easier than Chuuya trying to keep track of his schedule. He even talks to Higuchi regularly, still trying to keep tabs on his recruit. Hirotsu doesn 't reach out much when he 's gone, but when he is in L.A. he always makes a point to seek him out.

Everyone is fairly busy with their own work, so Chuuya doesn 't feel bad for not being as present. The Black Lizards ' Separate Ways had been a success, and they 'd been promoting and touring this past year (though everyone had made it a point to meet up in Argentina for Chuuya 's twenty first birthday, that had been a wild celebration.) Kajii is still riding the high from The Literary City, now adding

another

leg to his tour in Europe.

It 's weird in a good way that he 's no longer the odd one out among his friends when it comes to being really well known. Now when they 're all out together people don 't just call Chuuya 's name (his name is usually loudest, but he can 't control that.) He 's proud of all his friends for making it big. They 'd fucking earned it.

While he has no complaints on the music end of things from the past year, Chuuya has had to tell more lies than he can count for his job. He feels like he should just fucking stamp

I 'm not allowed to comment on any ongoing Port Mafia Records legal disputes

on his fucking face. Then he could just point to it every time a reporter asks him about Dazai.

It 's not just questions about Dazai that follow him constantly, it 's about the entire fucking Audio Detective Agency. He gets asked about everything those losers do. He 'd been asked relentlessly about his opinion on Doppo Kunikida 's Spring Birds, which he had tried to avoid by saying he hadn 't listened to it. Then Mori had made him say in his next interview that it wasn 't his style but he liked it (because it was better for PMR 's reputation).

In all honesty, Chuuya had listened to the album the day it had come out. He 'd been baffled that it was something the Dazai he knew had worked on. It had been full of prose and

sentimental.

Chuuya had chalked it up to being more of Kunikida 's influence, but it had really thrown him off.

The worst interview of all had been the one on the day of the four year anniversary of

Corruption.

Chuuya had seriously almost throttled the interviewer when they 'd asked him now that Dazai was doing music again whether he and Dazai would collaborate again. He 'd channeled his inner Count Douchebag though and laughed and repeated what he 'd been drilled on because Chuuya is a

god damn professional.

Despite all the success he 's had this past year, it doesn 't feel like enough to Chuuya. He feels like he never quite accomplishes anything real. No matter how many of the albums he produces hit number one or have sold out tours, he still feels like he 's just reaching for something he can 't grasp. So he keeps cranking out more music, hoping the feeling will go away.

Chuuya has also avoided dating like the plague. He is not in a good head space to subject someone else to right now. He tends not to spend too much time in one place for very long either. It 's hard to build a connection with anyone like that.

His fears about running into Dazai had been unfounded though. The ADA steers clear of big industry stuff. They keep to themselves and only even have a couple recording artists. Chuuya still doesn 't know how the fuck Dazai had ended up there of all places.

While Chuuya hasn 't had to see him in person, online is a different story. Him joining the ADA has given them a huge boost in popularity. Kunikida 's Spring Birds had charted high for an indie record from a label that unknown. Chuuya had seen pictures of the two of them out promoting it together, Dazai dressed in a ridiculous tan trench coat and smiling brightly.

At the core of his anger is a question, why is he always the only one who still cares? Why isn 't he able to say fuck Dazai and forget all about him? It 's really truly not fair. He 's always the one tearing himself to pieces when people leave and the leavers never even give a shit. But as much as he tries (and he really,

really

tries), he 's never able to be that hardhearted. There is a weakness in him that he 's unable to carve out.

Talking to Mori about letting Elise go to high school is just the cherry on the shit sundae that is his life. But while he lies for his job, he does not lie in her personal life, not to the people he cares about. He 'd told her he would do this, and he 's going to do it. Even if he 's practically sweating through his suit jacket as he walks up to Mori 's office (while it 's still morning).

He almost wishes Mori will tell him to go away as he knocks on his door, but he also knows that putting this off will not make it better. Mori calls out for him to enter though.

Chuuya opens the door, trying to steel his nerves. Regardless of what 's going to happen, Mori did not respect fidgetiness or hesitancy. He knows Mori after working with him for this long. Chuuya wouldn 't say their

friends,

but he 's one of the people who is closest to Mori at PMR, probably even closer than Kouyou.

Still, he gulps a little as he walks in.

'Chuuya, ' says Mori lightly, smiling at him from behind his desk (Chuuya has a feeling he isn 't going to be wearing that expression for long.) 'What can I do for you? '

'I wanted to talk to you about something, ' says Chuuya, forcing himself to walk up to Mori 's desk calmly.

'What is it? ' asks Mori, raising an eyebrow. He gives him his full attention, putting aside what had been in front of him.

'It 's not about work, ' says Chuuya. He stays standing because he knows he 'll get twitchy if he sits down. 'It 's about Elise."

Mori 's expression becomes much less lighthearted. 'What about her? '

'It 's about her going to high school, ' says Chuuya, channeling all of his media training for the words to come out normally.

'I don 't see how that is any of your business, ' says Mori coldly, a tone Chuuya doesn 't hear often from him. His eyes are cold too as they look at Chuuya, his lips stretched into a thin line.

Chuuya could cut his losses here, but he reminds himself this is for Elise. Elise, who has always been practically his staunchest supporter since

he

was fifteen. Elise, who had pretended to like the piano for over a year just so he would hang out with her. Elise, who just wanted to go to freaking high school.

'It isn 't, ' acknowledges Chuuya with a nod. 'But I think you should reconsider. I think it would be really good for her. '

'Because you have so much experience in raising children? ' asks Mori sardonically. He smiles, but it is a cruel smile.

'Because I know she 's going to be miserable if you don 't let her go, ' says Chuuya firmly, not backing down despite how nervous he feels on the inside. 'You want her to be happy, don 't you? '

'You think I 'm sheltering her because of my position at Port Mafia Records, ' says Mori, his voice calm but harsh. 'I am not. Do you have any idea what that girl has been through? What happened to her parents? ' His eyes bore into Chuuya mercilessly. 'You 've seen the cruelness the world is capable of. '

'No, ' answers Chuuya after a moment of letting that sink in. He meets Mori 's eyes with his own. 'I don 't know what happened. I 've never seen any trace of it anywhere, and I would never disrespect you or Elise by digging into it. '

'But, ' continues Chuuya, crossing his arms, 'I do know how cruel the world can be. And I know how much worse it is when you run and hide in response to it. Is that the kind of future you want for Elise? '

Mori just stares at him, face completely blank. Then he says flatly, 'Get out of my office. '

'Sir, I-, ' Chuuya starts to protest before Mori cuts him off.

'I 'll look into private schools in L.A, ' says Mori, his voice no less angry than before. 'Somewhere with adequate security. And it will be a trial basis. '

'Thank you, Boss, ' says Chuuya, both grateful and surprised.

'I 'm not doing it for

you

, ' says Mori, sneering at him a little bit. He takes a deep breath then, slipping back into a more neutral expression. His eyes are still hard though.

'Regardless, ' says Chuuya, his own expression serious. 'I think you 're doing the right thing. '

He thinks Mori is about to tell him off again but his face becomes more thoughtful.

'It 's not a secret that I was hoping Dazai might be the one to replace me someday, ' says Mori, shocking Chuuya in a different way. 'I thought Port Mafia Records would be best under the helm of someone like me. But, perhaps there is someone better suited to the role. '

Chuuya had done a very good job of keeping his cool this entire time, but at that his jaw drops open in unbridled shock. He has no response. Everything that comes to mind is woefully inadequate. Fuck, Elise had been right. He

does

trust him.

'Not that you 're anywhere near ready for the position now, ' adds Mori, smile still a touch cold but with a little more amusement. 'Or that I'm looking to step down any time soon. '

'Now, ' says Mori, shifting his attention back to what he had been working on before Chuuya had come in, 'Get out of my office. '

Chuuya nods, still not trusting himself to speak. He kind of feels like he 's in a dream as he walks towards the door.

'And Chuuya, ' Mori calls out before he reaches it. Chuuya turns to see him smiling cheerfully.

'If you ever interfere in my personal life again, I 'll decimate your career and leave you with nothing, ' says Mori brightly. It 's not a threat, it 's a promise.

'Understood, Mori, ' says Chuuya, smiling back.

September, Four Years, Seven Months, & One Week Since the Release of Corruption

Once More With Feeling, Osamu Dazai

False Spring

Winter 's Firework

I Heard It In This Way

Pandora 's Box

Fairy Tales

The Moon Has a Drink Waiting for You

Right and Smile

An Urgent Appeal

The Buraiha Trio

Play Me a Song

Chuuya holds the album in his hand, staring at the tracklist with trepidation. He 's never dreaded listening to a record more. It 's the day of the release, and Chuuya has steered clear of others today. He 'd waited until he was safe and in his apartment to examine it closely.

His first criticism is that it 's not even thirteen songs.

He puts it down to answer a knock at his door though. He gestures for his guest to come in. 'Thank you for coming. '

'No problem, man, ' says Tachihara lightly. He hesitates after he comes inside, hovering near the door.

Chuuya leads him into to living room and gestures for him to take a seat in one of the armchairs. He hands him a glass of wine from the coffee table, taking the other for himself. His glass is filled to the brim.

'I need you sit here while not saying anything, drink your wine, and hold onto my phone so I don 't smash it, ' instructs Chuuya, handing him his phone.

'Why? ' asks Tachihara, taking the phone and holding it up awkwardly.

'I made a bet with Gin that I wouldn 't break another one for a whole year, ' explains Chuuya, settling down into a more comfortable position on the couch.

'Alright, ' says Tachihara with a shrug, taking a sip of his wine.

Chuuya smiles a bit but then scowls as he presses play on the remote to his speaker system. The sound of Dazai 's voice fills the room as his album starts to play.

They sit there not talking as the entire album plays. The only sounds they make are from them drinking their wine. Chuuya 's grip on his glass gets tighter and tighter as the songs keep playing.

Once they reach the end, it starts over and starts playing

False Spring

again. Chuuya hits pause on the remote as it does, cutting the sound off. He sits up from his slumped position, downing the rest of his wine.

He sees Tachihara looking at him with a concerned expression. Chuuya stands up and grabs Tachihara 's empty wine glass too. Then he spikes both glasses into the ground and shatters them.

Because what in the actual fuck had he just listened to?

It 's one thing if Dazai wants to fuck off and join another label. It 's another thing entirely if

this

is the music he 's going to make there.

It had been decent, nothing that Dazai created could ever be bad. But it hadn 't been truly remarkable like Chuuya had thought it would be. Chuuya hadn 't been left awestruck by the music like Chuuya

knows

Dazai is capable of doing.

It 's infuriating. Sure, it had been pretty. But the songs had all been light and borderline cheery. There had been a fucking

love song

of all things.

Tachihara looks from him to the broken glasses and back again. Then he smirks at Chuuya.

'That was pathetic, ' says Tachihara. 'You call that a throw? You 've gone soft, ' he accuses him, voice taunting.

Chuuya scowls at him. 'Fuck off, ' he says harshly.

'Let 's see you do better, ' says Tachihara, he gets up from his chair and leads the way into the kitchen.

That 's how he ends up spending the night Dazai 's album drops smashing his dishes with Tachihara. It is wildly therapeutic. They cackle as they break plates and glasses, creating a huge mess around them.

'You hungry? ' asks Chuuya after they 've destroyed practically every dish he owns that isn 't plastic.

Fifteen minutes later they 're splitting a frozen pizza, sitting cross-legged on top of Chuuya 's kitchen counter to avoid all the broken glass.

'The really fucking shitty part is that he could do so much

better

, ' says Chuuya, blowing on a piece of pizza to try and cool it off. He scowls at his food. 'He left, and he 's making this

bullshit

. '

'I 've never liked Dazai, ' says Tachihara with a shrug. 'You know that. But it 's definitely not what I would have expected from him, even though I barely knew him. '

'I am going to get asked my opinion about this god damn album so many fucking times, ' says Chuuya with a sigh.

'Tell them you think it sucks, ' suggests Tachihara

'It doesn 't suck, ' admits Chuuya, though the words burn a bit. 'It 's good. It 's going to do well. But for a genius like him, it 's like, dishonest to how talented he is. ' Chuuya takes a large bite of his pizza in frustration.

'You 're not going to be able to say that either are you? ' asks Tachihara, giving him a sympathetic look.

'Nope, ' says Chuuya. 'I 'm going to have to give some neutral response that doesn 't approve or disapprove. I 'm sure Mori will email me with the exact wording. '

'That sucks, ' says Tachihara simply.

They finish eating then leave the apartment. Chuuya doesn 't want to deal with the mess right now. Plus he 's too full of energy, his apartment feels stifling.

'Thanks Mich, ' says Chuuya as they walk out. 'If you ever tell anyone about this, I 'll smash your face like I did those dishes. '

'And he 's back everyone, ' says Tachihara with a shit-eating grin. Chuuya shoves him for it.

'Oh, fuck off, ' says Chuuya, but he 's laughing. 'We should go out. Some shitty fucking techno club where the music is nothing but loud bass and not a single person will care who we are. '

Tachihara 's grin gets ever wider. 'Let me text Gin. '

Mori requests Chuuya to come see him a couple weeks after Once More With Feeling is released. He doesn 't give Chuuya any details other than he has an idea for a project for him. Chuuya is absurdly thankful for the meeting. He could use a distraction right now.

Mori 's expression is hard to read as Chuuya sits across from them. There 's been a new side to their relationship since Chuuya had fought with him over Elise, who is now a sophomore at the most expensive private high school in Los Angeles and is elated about it. She won 't stop texting Chuuya about school.

Mori has treated him a little differently though ever since. He doesn 't ask more of Chuuya, but it 's like he 's watching him more closely, judging him more in depth. Chuuya tries to rise to the occasion and not waver under the scrutiny.

He also feels like Mori puts less of a performance on when it 's just the two of them now. He still smiles and keeps his voice light, but nothing to his usual degree. He 's more openly cold and calculating.

'I 've been thinking a lot about what to do about Osamu 's album, ' says Mori, leaning his chin in one of his palms. He still calls him Osamu even when he 's not there when he 's angry with him. 'And I 've come up with an idea. ' He gives Chuuya a searching look. 'You 're going to find it unpleasant though. '

Mori has never considered his personal feelings before giving him an assignment before. Chuuya raises his eyebrows. The only thing he can think of is his own solo album, but he 's made his feelings on that crystal clear. Mori wouldn 't bring it up to him again.

'This January will be the fifth anniversary since the release of Double Black, ' says Mori, running his fingers of the hand he isn 't resting his head on against on his desk. 'And

Corruption.

The

Golden Demon

duet was a huge success, but I think we could do something even bigger than that with this one. '

'What did you have in mind? ' asks Chuuya. He keeps his voice indifferent, but something that has him revisiting Double Black or

Corruption

is definitely unpleasant to him.

'One of the reasons

Corruption

is so unique is that the solo is spontaneous, ' says Mori, sitting up fully. He doesn 't smile though. 'People still watch videos of you two performing the song live from the Double Black tour, and there are videos with over a million hits from multiple different cities. '

Chuuya doesn 't say anything to that, he 'd been aware of it. He waits for Mori to get to his plan.

'I 've selected what I believe to be the thirteen best versions of the solo, ' says Mori plainly. 'What I would need you to do is record yourself playing them, and then we can release an E.P. in January with all of them, titled The Corrupted Files. '

It 's an objectively brilliant idea. People are always saying which version of the solo is their favorite. He knows people download mp3s from videos online of them. Chuuya has no doubt it 'll be wildly successful if they do this. He can already picture the frenzy over it.

But in order to accomplish this, Chuuya will have to spend all his time listening to

Corruption

over and over again. He 'll have to listen to each solo extensively in order to find out the notes and then master them. The song will be on an endless repeat until he finishes it. Nobody else can do it for him, the piano style is unique to himself. He also doesn 't trust anyone else with the task.

He has to fight off a reflexive refusal to do it. Chuuya tries to remind himself not to be selfish. This isn 't about him, this is about PMR. It 'll also get everyone to shut up about Dazai, which is what he 'd desperately wanted.

Sure, the last time he 'd had to play the song regularly he 'd been plagued with nightmares on almost a nightly basis. But he 's grown since then, he tells himself. Plus, it could be worse. It 's not like it 's

Arahabaki

(as if that 's fucking comforting).

Chuuya swallows thickly. 'I 'll do it. '

'Excellent, ' says Mori, smiling for the first time.

January 25, Five Years Since the Release of Corruption

'If you 're like me, you 've spent hours watching videos online of

Corruption

, ' says Mary Stewart on the TV in the ADA office. 'You 've watched the master playlist of all the different versions more than once. But Port Mafia Records has finally thrown us a bone with The Corrupted Files. Included in the new E.P. are thirteen versions of the legendary single. Here to talk about it I have Chuuya Nakahara with me. '

'Thanks for having me, Mary, ' says Chuuya, his interview smile in full force.

'What inspired you to do this? ' asks Mary. 'Did you finally listen to all the online comments demanding it? '

Chuuya laughs. 'It 's really just a gift to all the fans out there who still love the song after it 's been so long. This is for them. '

Dazai mutes the sound, scowling at the screen. What a load of horseshit. This had Mori written all over it.

Dazai has tried to not care about what Port Mafia Records does anymore, but it 's hard when they pull stunts like this. He can 't help his gaze from going back to Chuuya though, wondering how he put together the compositions for it. Dazai can 't make out any visible signs of distress from him, but that doesn 't mean much. Chuuya is a master at hiding his pain.

(He also notes Chuuya 's longer hair suits him stupidly well and he looks unfairly attractive.)

'Are they allowed to do that? ' asks Tanizaki beside him. He 's frowning at the screen too.

'Not really, ' says Dazai. They hadn 't gotten his permission to use his voice on the record. He would have to address all the legal business he 'd been avoiding with PMR in order to fight them on it though. 'But following the rules has never been one of PMR 's priorities. '

'I don 't get the hype, ' says Tanizaki. 'He 's not even that good of a singer. '

Dazai feels his body freeze. He turns to give Tanizaki a long look.

'You 're right, ' says Dazai mockingly. 'The man who won five Grammys for his music at sixteen is clearly untalented. That 's why PMR recruited him at just age fifteen and had him trained by renowned vocalist Kouyou Ozaki. He obviously just conned his way into his success with his bad temper and horrible fashion sense. ' He rolls his eyes. 'Jealousy isn 't a good look on you, Tanizaki, ' adds Dazai dismissively.

'I thought you hated the guy, ' says Tanizaki hotly, glaring at him.

'There are enough things to make fun of him for without resorting to making up lies about him, ' says Dazai, smirking a little. 'But the runt knows how to sing. '

'Whatever, ' says Tanizaki. 'It 's a cheap trick, releasing a bunch of versions of the same song to get another number one album. Classic PMR. '

'Very devious, ' agrees Dazai, half to get back on Tanizaki 's good side. He doesn 't feel great about his outburst. But Chuuya has once again thrown him off his game. His behavior remains impossible to predict.

(Also if Dazai were still with PMR, he would have thought it was an exceptional idea.)

Dazai is trying hard not to get very angry at this new move, even though they are using

his

voice to sell albums. He tries not to let it get to him.

He has his own music now, and he 's pleased with it. Once More With Feeling had been the biggest selling record the ADA had ever had. A bunch of reviews had called it a great new leaf for Osamu Dazai. And Odasaku and Santoka had both told him it was something to take pride in. Their opinions meant more to him than the masses.

The Corrupted Files stings anyway. Chuuya is using the song that is partially about them against him. It 's making Dazai furious.

But in addition to his fury, he 's also deeply, deeply concerned about how his ex-partner is handling that much exposure to the song. Dazai can 't see any dark circles under his eyes, but makeup is very good nowadays.

Dazai tries to remind himself that it 's been almost three years now since he 'd left and spoken to Chuuya. Dazai is the last person who Chuuya wants sympathy from. Maybe he 's moved on from his difficulties with the song all together. It 's certainly possible.

(Dazai doesn 't really believe that though and spends the rest of the day with a horrible stomachache from how anxious he is over it.)

Mid-May, Five Years & Three and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya is a bit groggy as he wakes up this morning. It takes him a second to recognize his surroundings as his rented apartment (or flat, as they call it here) in London. He sighs as he shifts around in the bed.

He had pretty much demanded Mori to give him a job somewhere that wasn 't L.A. after the release of The Corrupted Files. Mori had agreed easily, saying Chuuya had earned it.

Chuuya has thought several times in his life now that he had reached the worst part of it. The first had been after his mom died. Then he 'd thought it again when Arthur died. And again after Dazai left. Those months practically living and breathing

Corruption

had been the fourth time he 'd thought it.

He had pretty much lived in his apartment by himself the entire time. He 'd known he was too explosive to subject others to his foul moods. He 'd spent pretty much all day every day at the piano trying to figure out the intricate solos he 'd been the one to come up with on the spot at seventeen. The only positive had been that his piano skills are once again back up to the same level after that much playing.

It would have been grueling work even if it hadn 't been the song that reminds Chuuya of his doubts about his humanity. His struggles with it had never gone away exactly, but he hadn 't been so out of sorts about them in ages. Since a little after Arthur died and he 'd dove into

Arahabaki

actually.

But The Corrupted Files had been a crash course in remembering all those feelings. He 'd pretty much abandoned his bed and slept on his couch in the living room when he did sleep. Chuuya had forgotten what it was like to have nightmares that frequently. He hadn 't gotten rid of them entirely normally, but functioning on that little sleep again had sucked. He 'd been impressed with his younger self for dealing with it during the middle of a fucking tour.

When he hadn 't been beating himself up with thoughts about how he wasn 't really human and had forged a life by pretending to be one, he 'd also had a bunch of lovely thoughts about Dazai. He 'd gotten to hear his voice start the bridge of

Corruption

when the solo ended before Chuuya got a chance to cut him off time after time.

Sometimes Chuuya hadn 't even cut him off, he 'd just let the rest of the song play out. One of the perks of Chuuya using video recordings had been he 'd been unlucky enough to see himself and Dazai as they sang. He 'd gotten to witness himself so blatantly in love it made him sick.

If he had still been eighteen, it probably would have broken him, those long months in solitude. Chuuya hadn 't exactly come through it unscathed, but he knew himself well enough now to keep himself going. He had music and memories to offset the dark ones. He 'd even ended up watching their old performance of

Life is Better With a Little Party In It

once when it had shown up in his suggested videos tab.

It had taken him back to that time, of being on stage and alive. Usually reliving the old days with Dazai left him bitter and outraged. It hadn 't this time though. He 'd watched their younger selves sing that ridiculous song and do their horrible choreography and laughed.

It had been a different memory that had helped him the most though, one he hadn 't allowed himself to truly think about in a long time.

I once read somewhere that music is the vernacular of the human soul,

he 'd recalled Dazai saying on a cool day next to Lake Michigan.

I haven 't said this because I thought I had made my thoughts on the matter perfectly clear. But if you haven 't gotten in through you tiny skull, the music you write is the most achingly human thing I 've ever heard.

It had been like a lifeline of sorts. He 'd ignored everything that had come before and after and just focused on the words, the feeling they 'd been said with. Regardless of everything else Dazai has made him feel, human has been one of the strongest feelings.

Then when he 'd finished The Corrupted Files he 'd had to do a bunch of interviews about it, and he 'd been intensely reminded of the other feelings. He 'd spit out lie after lie with a smile on his face though.

Being in London has been nice. He hasn 't been directly in charge of any albums here, just overseeing things mostly. Chuuya doesn 't mind having a slightly lighter workload right now. He 's put himself through the ringer recently, a break isn 't the worst thing.

Chuuya gets out of bed and makes his way to the kitchen to make himself some tea. He 's planning out his day when a voice comes from the living room, scaring the absolute shit out of him. Chuuya turns towards the voice so quickly it hurts his neck a bit.

'Good morning, ' says Mori, sitting on Chuuya 's couch. He gives a little wave.

'

Boss? '

asks Chuuya in disbelief. He 's rarely seen Mori outside of L.A. during his entire career with PMR, and his absences from the main office were usually planned far in advance.

'Hello, Chuuya, ' says Mori with a smile. He gestures for Chuuya to sit down next to him.

Chuuya does, even though it feels a little weird to be directed to sit in his own flat.

'There 's been a recent development that I thought would be better to discuss in person, ' says Mori, dropping the smile. He looks slightly annoyed, which instantly raises Chuuya 's alarm bells.

'What 's going on? ' asks Chuuya.

'It 's not a Port Mafia Records matter, ' says Mori, giving Chuuya a neutral look. 'Or not directly. It 's about you, actually. '

'It 's about me? ' asks Chuuya, eyes narrowing.

'The Kashimuras, your mother 's parents, have discovered that you are related to them, ' Mori tells him flatly. 'They are asking to meet with you. '

Of all the things that Mori could have said, this is so entirely unexpected. He hadn 't even thought about his mom 's family in many years. He 'd given up on ever even speaking to them.

'And if you don 't want to meet with them, ' continues Mori, a slight frown now visible, 'Then they 're threatening to reveal the details of how your mother died. '

It 's like someone has sucked out all the air in the room. Chuuya blinks to try and clear his vision. He doesn 't even care that he 's freaking out in front of Mori like this, this is too much to try and retain some bullshit facade.

Chuuya can handle a lot, he has handled a lot. But the world knowing what had happened to him, he can 't do that. He just can 't.

He also has absolutely no desire to meet with the Kashimuras. He hadn 't before this, and he wants to even less now. It sounds like they 're just trying to take advantage of someone famous who 'd they 'd found out they have a connection to.

'You can choose to proceed however you want, ' says Mori. He doesn 't give Chuuya sympathy, but the words are much kinder than Mori 's usual delivery. Then his voice turns harder. 'And if those money-grubbing vultures do come after you, you 'll have the full might of Port Mafia Records to fight back with. '

'I don 't want to meet them, ' says Chuuya quietly. He looks off to the side as he admits it.

'Then you don 't have to, ' says Mori simply. 'I can handle the rest. If those people know what 's good for them, they 'll keep their mouths shut. '

Chuuya has always been grateful to Mori for giving him a career, but he 's never been as grateful as he is right now.

'You came all the way out here to tell me this? ' asks Chuuya, surprised he hadn 't just talked to him about it over the phone.

'It 's been a while since I 've gotten to get out of L.A, ' says Mori lightly. 'Plus Elise keeps whining about how all of her friends from school have been to Europe, but she never has. I brought her along with me to get her to drop it. '

Chuuya laughs, full of affection for Elise and her guardian. People who see Mori only as a scheming and manipulative person usually missed out on this side of him. Chuuya is one of the few people who gets to witness it.

'I can show her around if you want, ' offers Chuuya.

'That would allow me a chance to visit our contacts here in London, ' says Mori with a nod. He gives Chuuya a more searching look then. 'I also have a different assignment for you once you return to L.A. '

'What is it? ' asks Chuuya.

'We initially recruited Ryuunosuke Akutagawa as a solo artist, but then after you correctly identified he wasn 't quite ready for that we stuck him in The Black Lizards to give him a chance to do some growing, ' says Mori. He smirks a little. 'He 's now fully grown, and it 's time for him to start his first solo album. '

Chuuya knows what his next words are going to be before he even says them. 'I want you to produce the album. '

'Is this an offer or an order? ' asks Chuuya, letting out a kind of half-snort. He has not warmed up to Akutagawa even though he 's very close with all his other bandmates.

'You can think of it as a choice if that makes it easier, ' says Mori, smirk fuller now.

'Fine, I 'll work with the guy, ' says Chuuya, shaking his head. He is very much not looking forward to it.

Chuuya stands and and walks over to his kitchen. 'You want some tea, Boss? '

July, Five Years & Six Months Since the Release of Corruption

Chuuya has worked on some difficult albums before. He 's dealt with writer 's block and having to cut huge batches of songs in the middle of a project. He 's tackled band members hating each other 's guts and threatening to quit.

None of that has prepared him for the horror that is working one on one with Ryuunosuke Akutagawa.

It has been a month, and it has been the longest month of Chuuya 's life (and Chuuya has had many, many long months.)

Chuuya prides himself on getting along with pretty much everyone at PMR. Akutagawa has always been an exception. They 'd spent time together in groups, and Akutagawa has faithfully attended his birthday trip with the other Black Lizards every year. But Chuuya has never gotten through his rough outer edges in any of those instances.

It would be different if Chuuya had done something to piss him off. Then he would get it. But he seriously has never done anything to the guy. He 's

tried

to be fucking nice to him, even when the shithead hadn 't deserved it.

This whole thing had been a mess from the start. When he 'd first gotten home he 'd been surprised with Tachihara blowing up at him unexpectedly. He 'd screamed and sworn at Chuuya for leaving The Black Lizards without a singer.

'Are we just a fucking stop along the way for whatever solo artist you and Mori want to train next? ' Tachihara had demanded furiously. 'Now we 're left fucking hanging. ' He'd glared at Chuuya. 'Let me know when you find us our next singer. Then we can go through this again when you decide to snatch them too. '

Chuuya had been too caught off guard and pissed to reply, and Tachihara had stormed out of his office and slammed the door.

A week had passed before Gin had come to see him. He 'd prepared himself for another argument, but that hadn 't been what she 'd been after.

'You should apologize to Tachihara, ' she 'd said cooly, giving him a flat look.

'I am not going to apologize for something that wasn 't even my fucking decision, ' Chuuya had snapped back.

'You singers have no idea what it 's like, ' Gin had said, shaking her head at him. 'You can just release music whenever you want. You don 't need other people to do it. '

'It 's not like that when you play an instrument, ' she 'd continued, fixing with with a cold stare. 'We 're stuck if we don 't have a singer. Nobody wants to listen to music without vocals. And you get even less respect as a rhythm musician, playing the drums or the bass. People see you as just background noise, you get thrown into whatever music you can get your hands on. '

'I used to

play

guitar for the band, ' Chuuya had reminded her shortly.

'Look me in the eyes and tell me right now that if you wanted to record an album this very second you couldn 't do it with ease, ' Gin had said simply. She 'd crossed her arms and waited for a reply.

'Yes, I could, ' Chuuya had admitted, softening a little.

'I know it wasn 't your decision, ' Gin had said, sounding less angry. 'But you have to try to understand what Tachihara is dealing with. It 's different for me because Ryuu is my brother, and I 've always known he 'd eventually go solo. But even for me, the change hasn 't been easy. '

'I 'll talk to him, ' Chuuya had promised her. She 'd nodded, smiling at him as she turned to leave.

Chuuya had sought Tachihara out that night at Tachihara 's apartment, knowing he 'd have to be the one to track him down. He 'd banged on the door until Tachihara had let him in.

'What? ' he 'd demanded shortly when he opened the door.

'I was an asshole, ' Chuuya had said plainly. 'You were right to be pissed at me. I 'm really fucking sorry. '

'I don 't think I 've ever heard you apologize to anyone before, ' had been Tachihara 's response, raising his eyebrows at him.

'I am trying to be nice here, ' Chuuya had said, fighting not to roll his eyes. 'I 'll sing for you guys. '

It is not an offer he 'd made lightly. Chuuya hadn 't committed to anything that big vocally since Double Black. But he would do it for Tachihara and Gin and Higuchi.

Tachihara had laughed at his offer though, smirking at Chuuya. 'You do not have a voice for rock, Baby Red. '

Chuuya had scowled at him and flicked him off. Tachihara had invited him in and they 'd gotten along like usual.

Chuuya has been on the lookout for a singer for The Black Lizards ever since though. He 's determined to find someone who will be a permanent fixture this time. He 'd rejected some suggestions of people who he knew were just looking for a way to pass time.

Akutagawa doesn 't seem very torn up about leaving the band he 's played with for years though. That 's not the aspect of doing his album that he has a problem with.

His surly temperament has always annoyed Chuuya, but it 's gotten worse being subjected to it constantly. Akutagawa argues with him on almost every suggestion Chuuya makes. It 's like he 's determined to do whatever the opposite of what Chuuya thinks.

Chuuya kind of wants to strangle him by this point.

Right now they 're alone together in Chuuya 's office. Akutagawa had flatly refused the tea he 'd offered him and is sitting in one of Chuuya 's chairs by the windows, a piece of sheet music in his hands. They haven 't even finished a single song in the time they 've been working together.

'That 's not going to work, ' says Akutagawa dismissively of the music Chuuya had handed him. He 's one of the only people who is so disrespectful to Chuuya 's face. 'I 'm not going to sing heavy ballads. You 're confusing our styles. '

'Well, excuse me for fucking contributing, ' says Chuuya from the chair next to him. He puts down his tea angrily. 'Maybe you 'd like to offer something up for a change. '

'I 'm not a songwriter, ' says Akutagawa for what is probably the hundredth time.

'You 've never written a song, ' says Chuuya, making the distinction. 'You could write a song. You 're just refusing to for some reason. '

'I never claimed to

want

to write music, ' says Akutagawa, giving him a look full of contempt.

'Then you have to accept something that someone else writes, ' snaps Chuuya. He glares at the stubborn bastard. 'You can 't have it both ways. '

'And that writer has to be you? ' asks Akutagawa, scorn clear in his voice.

Chuuya has attempted to give the guy a break. He has been more than patient with his petty comments and insults. He has held his tongue as much as he could. But Chuuya can 't put up with this shit any longer.

'What is your fucking problem? ' demands Chuuya, raising his voice. 'Seriously? Do you not want to record a solo album? Because if you don 't we can be done right now. I would love to be rid of you. '

'I didn 't say I didn 't want to do a solo album, ' says Akutagawa back, keeping his voice level. It just pisses Chuuya off more.

'Then what? ' he asks him, throwing his hands in the air. 'What is the god damn issue? Why are you being such a little bitch? '

'Maybe I just don 't want to work with

you

, ' replies Akutagawa cooly.

Chuuya has to take a moment in order to not throw a punch. But he is not as hot-headed as he was at seventeen. Plus he doesn 't think violence will get through to Ryuunosuke like it did with Kajii.

'Why? ' asks Chuuya plainly. 'You literally don 't even know me. We 've never even worked together. '

Akutagawa scoffs. 'Do you have any idea how long I spent having every single thing I did compared to you? How much I could never live up to

perfect vocalist

Chuuya Nakahara? '

'What? ' asks Chuuya, blind-sided by the information.

'I worked with Dazai for almost a year, ' says Akutagawa flatly. 'Nothing I ever did lived up to his expectations. You were his favorite example of what I couldn 't achieve. '

A million interactions he 's had with Akutagawa suddenly make a lot more sense. The way the other boy had always been a touch colder to him than the others. The way he 'd bristled whenever Chuuya had complemented him on The Black Lizards' successes.

Chuuya had really thought he was done finding new things to be mad at Dazai for. But seriously, what the fuck had he been thinking? He 'd known Dazai had been hard on Akutagawa, and he hadn 't necessarily approved, but he hadn 't known the extent of it.

It 's blatantly obvious now that Akutagawa 's real problems stem from a twisted combination of low self-esteem and arrogance that had been drilled into at fifteen.

God damn it mackerel,

thinks Chuuya to himself.

Why the fuck am I still cleaning up your messes?

And what the hell had he been playing at calling him a

perfect vocalist

behind his back? He had never been that complementary to Chuuya 's face. Chuuya wishes it didn 't make him feel so conflicted. Dazai 's approval in music isn 't easy to gain, and Chuuya had always secretly wanted to gain it. To know he 'd had it the whole thing is severely fucking with his head.

But Chuuya shoves that aside for now. They 're not here to talk about his unresolved issues with Dazai right now, they 're here to start fixing Akutagawa 's.

'Dazai called me pitchy practically every day I worked with him, ' says Chuuya, the words a little hard to get out. 'His standards were absurd. And you 've come a long way since then. I wouldn 't have agreed to do this album if I didn 't think it was going to be something worthwhile. I don 't waste my time on mediocre music. '

'I never even got a chance to prove myself to him, ' says Akutagawa bitterly. 'He left before I ever got the chance. '

'Fuck him, ' says Chuuya vehemently. 'Osamu Dazai is not the end-all, be-all of the music world. Tell me honestly, what did you think of Once More With Feeling? '

Akutagawa swallows, looking uncomfortable. 'Oddly sentimental and not up to his full potential, ' he answers awkwardly, as if expecting to be punished for the opinion.

'So why are you wasting your time trying to impress some asshole who 's music isn 't perfect himself? ' asks Chuuya, giving him a long look.

'He was my mentor, ' says Akutagawa. He shrugs. 'I learned practically everything I know about music from him. '

Chuuya sighs. 'And I worked more closely with him that practically anyone. I know what I 'm doing. And it isn 't my fault he used me to try to get you to improve. '

'So you 've let go of your attachment to him? ' asks Akutagawa, challenge clear in his voice.

Chuuya has decidedly not. It is a little hypocritical of him to expect Akutagawa to do what he can 't. But if Chuuya can 't rid himself of his own bond to Dazai, he can at least help Akutagawa to push his aside enough to not let it hold him back.

'I 'm not saying you have to get over whatever you feel towards him, ' says Chuuya, keeping his tone calm. 'But you 're letting it control you. '

Akutagawa doesn 't seem convinced, he just looks at Chuuya with a thin frown.

'Someone I greatly respect once taught me not to let my past define my future, ' says Chuuya, voice going a little soft as he thinks about Arthur. His loss still aches a little. 'They advised me to do what I want with my life, to not let my past experiences make that decision for me. ' He gives Akutagawa a probing look. 'What do you want, Ryuunosuke? '

Akutagawa meets his look for a long moment. Then he sighs and looks away.

'There was a song, ' starts Akutagawa stiffly, 'That Dazai and I were working on together. Called

Rashomon

. '

Chuuya has to work very, very hard to fight off a victorious grin. He keeps his expression neutral though. 'That sounds like a great place to start. '

December, Five Years, Ten and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

'Ryuunosuke Akutagawa 's debut album In A Grove is the highest selling album PMR has had in years, ' announces Ace, flicking his hair smugly. 'And the lead single

Rashomon

has been on the top of every single chart since it came out. '

Chuuya doesn 't even find Ace 's attitude annoying for once. He 's a little smug too frankly. Things hadn 't gone perfectly after Akutagawa had showed him the unfinished

Rashomon,

but they 'd figured out how to work together eventually.

Once they 'd aired out their grievances Akutagawa hadn 't exactly been kind and friendly towards him, but he 'd stop disagreeing with him just on principle. He had taken Chuuya 's ideas seriously, though he still shot down a lot of them. It figures that someone who had been mentored by Dazai turned out to be just as picky.

After months of long hours working on songs together and making sure the music had been up to both of their standards, In A Grove had come together. Chuuya is proud of it in a way he really hasn 't been since The Literary City. This is the first album since then that he 's worked this closely with the artist on, that had this much of Chuuya 's input.

Despite Akutagawa 's claims that he and Chuuya 's styles were completely different, that really hadn 't been the case. Ryuunosuke might not sing ballads, but his music is somber like a lot of Chuuya's is. They both like to dig deep, to wring every possible emotion out of a song. They aren 't satisfied with something simple, they like to make something that 's heavy to listen to, that leaves an impact.

Somewhere along the line Chuuya had decided they were friends. You can 't click that well with someone on music and not start to like them. Chuuya is possibly Akutagawa 's only friend at PMR besides The Black Lizards. Though Gin likes him because she 's his sister, Higuchi is still a little infatuated with him, and Tachihara mostly puts up with him because he 's Gin 's brother.

Chuuya smiles when he sees the sullen prick now. Akutagawa isn 't super receptive of his friendship, but he doesn 't outright deny him either. He 's gained more respect for Chuuya throughout their time together if nothing else.

'We 're very proud of little Akutagawa, ' says Mori, smile in full force (though Akutagawa would probably be livid at being called little at twenty now.) 'And to his steadfast producer, Chuuya Nakahara. ' He turns his smile towards Chuuya, making it a bit more sincere.

'He deserves most of the praise, ' says Chuuya lightly, smirking at Mori slightly. They both know how much Chuuya had done. This had probably been Mori 's intention when he 'd asked him in May, that wily fucker.

'Both of you are to be commended, ' adds Kouyou, smirking a little herself. She also knows everything. She 's almost beaming a little at Chuuya.

'I 'm putting together a tour to promote the album, ' says Mori, shifting back to business. 'I 'm tentatively having April as the start date. Akutagawa is starting to work with Yoshi extensively, but he has a long way to go yet. '

The image of Akutagawa being stuck in months of stage training with The Count is so hilarious that Chuuya has to smother a snort. Akutagawa may have released one of the best albums in years, but he is

not

performance ready. Scowling at his fans while he plays for them wouldn 't help his growing fame.

'The other big announcement is that we 're now currently in negotiations with Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald to enter a mutually beneficial agreement, ' says Mori.

F. Scott Fitzgerald is the CEO of The Guild, one of the few big record companies in the U.S. that isn 't in Los Angeles. Instead, The Guild 's main office is in Long Island. While PMR is more successful than The Guild in terms of having more successful and popular artists, The Guild is much more financially powerful. It helps that their CEO comes from one of the wealthiest families in America and has a network of affluent investors.

They 've never been directly hostile with The Guild, but they 're certainly never aligned themselves with them before. The Guild has always been some of their biggest competition. But it had been clear that if either of them ever made a move against the other they would both lose too much in the ensuing battle.

'Why would we work with that dickbag Fitzgerald? ' asks Chuuya. Kouyou gives him a disapproving look for the language, but it 's a fitting descriptor.

Everyone he 's ever met from the Guild is self-absorbed and looks down at artists from other labels. They 're a bunch of arrogant douches. And Fitzgerald is the worst of all of them. He 'd loosely implied once that Chuuya was a charity case due to his background, and Chuuya has hated him ever since.

'I don 't trust them anymore than you do, ' says Mori, smiling at Chuuya 's outburst. 'But The Guild is looking to get some young blood added to their roster, and they apparently haven 't found any among their contacts. They know that recruitment and artist development is one of PMR 's greatest strengths, and they 're willing to compensate accordingly if we agree to assist them with this. '

'We 're going to help The Guild recruit someone? ' asks Chuuya, not seeing the logic. Why would they give up one of their own potential artists and all the money they could make in the long run?

'That was my initial reaction as well, ' says Kouyou. 'Then I saw their opening offer, and it is highly unlikely that a single artist could contribute more in their entire career than what they 're willing to pay. '

Chuuya raises his eyebrows at that. How much fucking money were they talking about?

'Nothing is set in stone yet, ' says Mori. 'But it 's looking likely that we 'll strike a deal. '

'I 'd be happy to bleed the Fitzgeralds dry, ' says Ace with a smirk. Despite both being from wealthy backgrounds, their families were not friendly with each other.

'That is the goal, ' says Mori cheerfully. 'Speaking of recruitment, we 've recently picked up a singer, Kyouka Izumi. '

'I 've decided to take the girl on, ' adds Kouyou, shocking Chuuya. She hasn 't really mentored anyone since himself. 'At fourteen, she still needs a lot of help. '

It makes more sense then. Fourteen is a young recruit, even for them. They 'd learned a lesson about the disaster child artists could be with Yumeno Kyusaku, who 'd they 'd had to let go after they couldn 't unleash them on the public no matter how talented they 'd been.

Chuuya makes a mental note to talk about the girl with Kouyou later. He 's interested in the person who 's made Kouyou step back into the role. He wants to help make sure the girl has a smooth transition into PMR.

'Of course, ' agrees Mori easily. 'She 'll be in good hands with you. '

The meeting wraps up shortly after that. Chuuya tries to catch Kouyou to talk to her, but she says she has another meeting to get to. She promises to come find him later.

So Chuuya heads towards his own office, surprised to see someone already in there when he gets inside.

'Baby Red, ' says Kajii, jumping up from his spot on Chuuya 's desk (which Chuuya is not thrilled he 'd been siting on). 'You are never going to believe this. '

'Believe what? ' asks Chuuya, walking towards him.

'You heard about that new girl, Izuko or whatever? ' asks Kajii, smirking widely. 'Guess who fucking recruited her. '

'Kyouka Izumi, ' corrects Chuuya flatly. He 's intrigued by Kajii 's amusement though. 'Who? '

'The fucking Little Gecko, ' says Kajii, cackling sharply.

'You 're shitting me, ' says Chuuya automatically. Kajii just laughs harder. 'Are you sure it wasn 't Gin? Or like, anyone else? '

'Nope, ' says Kajii happily. 'It was our resident ball of sunshine, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa. '

Chuuya 's jaw drops. 'What the actual fuck? '

'

I. Know

, ' says Kajii, still snickering. 'Come on, we need to call a Black Lizard meeting to get the full story. '

March, Six Years, One and a Half Months Since the Release of Corruption

Dazai doesn 't spend a lot of time at the beach, but he 'd gotten the craving today and decided to take a walk there. His coworkers won 't be concerned that he 's missing (besides Kunikida who will be furious and call him relentlessly, so Dazai puts his phone on do not disturb mode.)

It 's a cool day, so there aren 't a lot of other people here. Dazai is able to walk near the waves with his shoes in his hands without being stopped by anyone. It had been an adjustment after Once More With Feeling, being so easily recognized again. But people in L.A. tended to be the least frantic, probably because of how often they see famous people out and about.

He and Kunikida had gone on a small three month joint tour to promote Springs Birds and Once More With Feeling. The crowds had been smaller than Dazai 's past experiences, but they 'd been just as lively and enthusiastic. It had been a lot of fun. Dazai had never been as obsessed with performing as some people he knows, but he 'd forgotten how much he 'd enjoyed it.

It had also been great to have Kunikida with him as someone to entertain himself with and to have his back. Their partnership is as strong as ever, despite Kunikida 's insistence that they are colleagues and nothing more.

Now that Tanizaki has graduated the ADA is working on helping him release his first album Light Snow. He 's done a lot of growing up since Dazai first met him, vocally and emotionally. He 's sure Light Snow is going to end up being something impressive.

They 've also hired a new part-time employee, Kenji Miyazawa. He 's possibly the most cheerful person Dazai has ever met. He had a lovely singing voice too, though he 's very humble about it. He 's originally from some small farm town named Ihatov Dazai has never heard of and had moved to L.A. with his uncle to give singing professionally a try.

Dazai had thought Ranpo was the one they had to keep the closest eye on, but Kenji 's naivety gets him into constant jams. He seems to have no concept of people trying to take advantage of him or an ounce of street smarts. Dazai is thankful he 's with the ADA, he 's a little nervous what would have happened to him in a place like PMR.

There is truly nothing for Dazai to be discontent about. His work is more fulfilling than ever. He 's surrounded by people who he cares about and that care about him. What more could he even ask for?

But despite his insistence that it hadn 't affected him whatsoever, he 's been off ever since Ryuunosuke Akutagawa had released

Rashomon

and In A Grove

.

Dazai had quite honestly never thought he 'd hear that song again. He hadn 't given it another thought after that meeting in October when Akutagawa 's solo album had been squashed.

It had been a strange feeling, having everything he 'd worked towards and been robbed of shoved in his face. And it had been a combination of Akutagawa and Chuuya 's doing, which had made it even worse. The more successful In A Grove becomes the more unsettled Dazai gets.

He 's been with the ADA for two and a half years now. Yet PMR continues to taunt him somehow. Dazai wonders if he 'll ever truly be free of them. It doesn 't feel like it. It feels like no matter how far away he gets or how long it 's been Port Mafia Records will play on as a siren song inside his head.

Dazai is using the ocean air to try and get out of his funk, having picked up the habit inadvertently.

These waves a chorus upon the shore,

he hums to himself as he walks (if PMR is going to live in his head, he should at least play their best music.)

He almost doesn 't feel the person reaching into the pocket of his trench coat. Dazai whips around to see a boy with white hair holding up a hand, expression part guilty and part desolate.

'Are you trying to rob me? ' asks Dazai, smiling at the kid. This is perhaps the funniest thing that has happened to him in weeks.

'You 're Osamu Dazai, ' says the boy in horror, eyes widening as he takes him in. 'I just tried to rob Osamu Dazai. '

'It 's only polite to give your name when you try to steal from someone, ' says Dazai, smile growing even wider.

'Are you going to call the police? ' asks the boy. He looks on the verge of tears.

'Not if you tell me your name, ' says Dazai, dropping his cheerful tone for a kinder one.

'Atsushi Nakajima, ' replies the boy quietly. Atsushi bows his head in shame. 'I 'm so sorry, Mr. Dazai. I had no idea it was you. Not that I would have been proud to rob someone who wasn't you, ' Atsushi rambles on. 'Truly, I 've never done anything like this before. But I didn 't know what else to do. '

'You know, Atsushi, ' says Dazai. 'I 'm pretty hungry. You want to get something to eat? '

Atsushi stutters in surprise for a moment. 'Aren 't you angry with me? '

'Nah, ' says Dazai dismissively. He gestures down at Atsushi 's mangy clothes. 'You 're not much of a threat, kid. '

Dazai ignores Atsushi's bewilderment and protests and drags him to get some chazuke after he wheedles the boy into telling him what his favorite food is. Dazai looks up the closest place that serves the dish and brings Atsushi there. He enjoys the place they end up going to, he still loves hole in the wall places like this.

Despite Atsushi 's instance that he couldn 't take advantage of Dazai, he ends up eating three bowls of chazuke. He gulps down the food with vigor.

'So how 'd you end up needing to rob someone, Atsushi? ' asks Dazai, arranging his own rice into shapes. He 'd actually just eaten lunch before he came to the beach.

'I got kicked out of my orphanage last week, ' says Atsushi, eyes focused on the table instead of Dazai. He picks at the table with one hand. 'I don 't have any money on me, and I don 't have anywhere else to go. '

'Why did they kick you out? ' asks Dazai, fighting off a scowl. What the hell kind of place just dumps kids on the street?

'The headmaster said that they didn 't have enough space for everyone, ' says Atsushi lowly. 'And I was the oldest, so they said I should be the one to go. '

Dazai had been planning to get the kid a meal and be done with him, but he can 't help but think of Odasaku as he tells his story. Dazai has tried to make music that helps people, but ignoring a kid who 's so clearly in desperate need of help feels like it would undo all of his efforts to be a better person.

'I can probably get you a job, ' says Dazai lightly. 'Have you ever heard of the Audio Detective Agency? '

'Of course I have, ' says Atsushi, eyes widening at the offer. 'You 'd really hire someone like me? '

Dazai pulls out some bills from Kunikida 's wallet that he 'd swiped from him at the office this morning. He throws them down on the table. 'Well, it 's up to Fukuzawa ultimately. But I 've got a feeling he 'll agree. '

Fukuzawa acted fairly aloof, but the guy would never turn away a kid who had nowhere else to go. Even if they couldn 't give him a job with the ADA, they could try to find something for him. Dazai could call Santoka too, he might have some ideas.

Dazai takes Atsushi back to the ADA with him, keeping up a constant stream of meaningless chatter as he does to avoid Atsushi 's questions. He doesn 't want to give the kid false hope, but Dazai is determined to not leave the boy on the streets failing to rob someone else.

'Hello, everyone, ' calls out Dazai as he walks into the office. He pulls Atsushi along behind him. 'I have someone for you all to meet. This is Atsushi Nakajima. '

'Where have you been? ' demands Kunikida, stomping over to them. He glares at Dazai. 'Do you have my wallet? '

'I thought we were partners, Kunikida, ' says Dazai lightly, holding up said wallet. 'What 's mine is yours and all that. '

Kunikida scowls and practically rips the wallet out of his hands. 'And who 's the kid? We 're not running a daycare here. '

'I 'm Kenji, ' says the younger boy, walking up to Atsushi. He gives him a wide smile and sticks out a hand. 'Nice to meet you. '

Atsushi shakes it, a nervous smile in place. 'Yeah, you too. '

'Is the president in? ' Dazai asks Kunikida, grinning at him.

'Don 't bother Fukuzawa with your nonsense, ' says Kunikida shortly. 'And answer the question. '

'Do I know you from somewhere? ' asks Ranpo to Atsushi. He has his reading glasses in one hand and is squinting at the boy.

'Um, I don 't think so, ' says Atsushi, the words almost phrased as a question.

'Who 's the cutie? ' asks Yosano. She 's stepped out of her office to see what all the commotion is about. She walks towards them with a huge grin.

'He looks like he 's been battling raccoons, ' says Naomi. She 's started working here along with her brother now. She turns to pout at her brother. 'Junichiro, you should get him some clothes! '

'I don 't have any on me, ' says Tanizaki, holding his hands up. She continues to argue with him about it, saying that isn 't an excuse. Meanwhile Yosano is now crushing Atsushi 's hand as she shakes it.

Kunikida is still crossing his arms and boring holes into Dazai with his stare. 'I 'm still waiting for an explanation. '

Dazai is tempted to say Atsushi tried to rob him just to see Kunikida 's face, but he wants him on board about helping him. Kunikida could be a bit rigid about the rules, and revealing his attempted thievery might rankle him.

But before Dazai can answer, the door to the office is thrown open. Of all the people who could have walked through it, Ryuunosuke Akutagawa is the last person who Dazai would have expected.

Akutagawa barely glances at him though, glaring instead at Atsushi.

'Atsushi Nakajima, ' declares Akutagawa haughtily. 'I have been looking for you. '

The recruitment of Atsushi Nakajima is a catastrophe right from the start. First of all, Mori assigns it to

Akutagawa

of all people. He 'd claimed he was the right person for the job due to their closeness in age and Akutagawa 's success with signing Kyouka.

It would be bad enough if it was just a botched recruitment for PMR. But Atsushi is the singer they 'd offered to recruit for The Guild. They 'd waited for their approval before seeking him out. The Guild had agreed to the deal.

Chuuya still has no idea how Mori tracked down the singer in the first place, but that isn 't important right now. What 's important is the shit storm that 's followed since Akutagawa burst into the Audio Detective Agency on his own and tried to offer Atsushi a record deal but ended up insulting him instead.

It had only gotten worse from there. The ADA hadn 't even known Atsushi could sing somehow, but then they 'd tried to sign him themselves. If it weren 't for the stupid Guild, PMR could have backed down and been done with it. But it would be a terrible move to break their word to Fitzgerald, he could do a lot of damage if they pissed him off.

Thus ensued them entering a turf war with the ADA over a boy they didn 't even want for themselves. But the ADA is adamant that Atsushi should sign with them, and the kid is a gullible fool and believes them.

Akutagawa has tried to make up for his mistake by changing his mind but has been unsuccessful. He 's been over at the ADA numerous times, but it has done the opposite of help. He 'd gotten Higuchi involved too, and it 's turned into a nasty dispute between the ADA and PMR.

The absolute worst thing though had been Dazai 's recent declaration that if PMR didn 't accept their defeat he would go to the police with everything he has on PMR.

Chuuya had been informed of all of this while he was on the plane by Mori, who is absolutely seething in rage. Chuuya had been in Japan when things had started, but he 's been called back home now to help with damage control.

Chuuya is in an absolutely horrible mood as he arrives at PMR after getting back to L.A. He has no idea how the fuck things had come to this. He 'd truly thought he would never have to interact with Dazai again after this much time had passed. But now he 's popping up again just to pour another gallon of salt in the wound.

Chuuya 's phone rings as he makes his way to his office, Kouyou 's name flashing on the screen.

'Hey, ' says Chuuya shortly as he answers it.

'I 'm guessing you 're aware of everything that 's going on? ' asks Kouyou, her tight control slipping for once and allowing her frustration be apparent.

'Yeah, I 'm up to date on the situation, ' says Chuuya roughly. 'Mori called and briefed me on the plane. '

Chuuya opens the door to his office, listening to Kouyou 's reply when he notices the person lounging on the couch in his office, completely at ease.

'You 've got to be fucking kidding me, ' says Chuuya, freezing in the doorway.

'Howdy, chibi, ' says Dazai lightly. He gives him a cheerful smile and wave.

'I 've got to go, ' says Chuuya into his phone darkly, hanging up before Kouyou can say anything.

Chuuya had thought a lot about what he would say to Dazai the next time he saw him over the years. All of that flies out the window now as he sees him in front of him.

It 's like looking at a funhouse mirror version of the Dazai he 'd used to know. The basic details are the same, but it 's off. He looks older, obviously. But Chuuya had known that from seeing pictures of him online. It 's starker in person. It 's still weird to see him out of a suit. Some things are the same though, his dark eyes haven 't changed. His eyes are looking at Chuuya far too knowingly.

'What the fuck are you-, ' starts Chuuya angrily before switching tactics. 'What do you want? '

'I 'm here on business, obviously, ' says Dazai, fake smile and voice still familiar somehow despite it being so long. He sits up on the couch to face him properly.

'You 're here on business? ' asks Chuuya, letting out something that would be a laugh if it weren 't so sharp and ugly. 'You, who have been doing everything in your power to avoid meeting with anyone from Port Mafia Records for the past four years despite the many, many attempts to do so? '

'I know, ' says Dazai, pouting childishly. 'But I couldn 't avoid it. '

'What do you want? ' Chuuya repeats, sharper this time, not willing to indulge Dazai 's games or whatever the fuck this is.

'You 're so serious now, ' says Dazai. Chuuya wants to wipe the smirk off his face violently. 'A proper executive. Mori 's trained his dog well. '

It 's the dog joke that breaks him.

Dogs are loyal, you can leave them for -,

Chuuya recalls before cutting off the thought forcibly.

Chuuya stalks across the room, leaning down so he 's face to face with Dazai. '

Cut the shit

, ' hisses Chuuya.

'Oh, you haven 't changed, have you? ' asks Dazai, not thrown off at all by their proximity or Chuuya 's threats. He looks even more pleased if anything. 'Still a street punk at heart. '

'You 're the one that hasn 't changed. ' Chuuya scoffs and backs away. 'If you aren 't going to tell me what you want, I 'll just leave. '

That finally makes Dazai lose some of his bravado, his expression souring. 'I did tell you, I 'm here on business. '

'Ugh, I forgot how exhausting it is to have a conversation with you, ' says Chuuya. He rubs his forehead in exasperation. 'Is this about the kid? '

'His name is Atsushi, ' says Dazai, as if he 's disappointed in Chuuya for not knowing it.

'I don 't give a shit what his name is, ' says Chuuya, glaring at Dazai as if his eyes can damage him somehow. 'I just found out he existed a couple hours ago. When I got dragged back from Japan. Because of you. '

'I didn 't do anything, ' claims Dazai, fake innocence is his voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard to Chuuya. 'Mori 's the one who called in the calvary. I just gave him a warning. '

'You threatened to go to the police with all the dirt you ever collected on Port Mafia Records, ' says Chuuya flatly.

Dazai just shrugs. Fucking hell, Chuuya absolutely hates him.

'Okay, the kid.

Atsushi

. ' Chuuya says the name with derision. 'What about him? '

'He 's signed with the ADA, ' says Dazai. 'So if PMR could get that through their thick skulls and stop poking their noses in to business that doesn 't concern them, we could not speak again for another four years. '

'I don 't know anything about the details, ' says Chuuya, rolling his eyes. 'You know that. If you wanted a negotiation, you should have gone to Mori. Or Kouyou. Or literally anyone else. '

'I find it very unlikely that Chuuya doesn 't know

anything

, ' says Dazai. He gives Chuuya another knowing look that makes Chuuya want to hit something.

Chuuya sighs deeply. He sits on the top of the piano near the couch. 'I know that we 're not actually interested in recruiting him for ourselves. We were contracted by someone else to make the deal, The Guild. ' He doesn 't necessarily want to give Dazai the information, but he has a feeling his threat about going to the police isn 't an idle one.

'See? ' asks Dazai brightly. 'I knew I could count on you. '

'Shut, ' says Chuuya harshly, 'the fuck up. You could have found that out from anyone. You probably just picked me because you knew it would piss me off. '

'So many years and chibi still knows me so well, ' says Dazai, smirking at him as if they 're still on the same side of the joke.

'Give me one good reason why I shouldn 't strap you to a chair until you fucking deal with all this legal bullshit you 've been putting off, ' says Chuuya heatedly.

'That 's interesting you bring up legal issues considering that I haven 't asked for the songwriting credit I 'm owed on

Rashomon

, ' says Dazai flippantly. 'Or anything I 'm owed from The Corrupted Files. '

'We don 't owe you jack shit, ' declares Chuuya. He scoffs. 'I always did want the opportunity to tell you to your face how much

Run! Melos

sucks. The allegory is way too convoluted and the chorus isn 't impactful enough. '

Dazai 's delight finally fades. He gives Chuuya a blank look. 'But you never told Mori that I was the one who wrote it. '

'As far as I 'm concerned, all of your bullshit was no longer my responsibility the second you walked out of this place, ' says Chuuya, shaking his head.

There 's a pause in the conversation. They both just look at each other. The tension is unbearably thick. Chuuya almost feels like he 's in a dream, seeing him face to face after all these years. (He hates himself for noting that there 's an ease to Dazai 's posture that wasn 't there before, and hates himself even more for being glad about it.)

'How the fuck did you even get up here? ' asks Chuuya eventually. 'Did someone let you in? '

'Mori never removed the access from my keycard, ' answers Dazai. He pulls the card out of his coat pocket and holds it up.

'Mori still thinks you 're going to come back someday, ' says Chuuya, rolling his eyes. He 'd told the boss it wasn 't going to happen more than once, but he hasn 't been able to change his mind.

'You don 't seem to agree with him, ' notes Dazai, raising an eyebrow.

'I know you aren 't coming back, ' says Chuuya, sneering a little. 'Thank fuck. '

'That doesn 't sound very executive-like, ' says Dazai, slipping back into his stupid upbeat voice. 'Shouldn 't you want whatever is best for PMR? '

'What 's best for PMR is to have nothing to do with you, ' says Chuuya, giving him the coldest look he can.

"Your animosity seems to be a bit deeper than just a professional rivalry, Chuuya, ' says Dazai, smile getting bigger. 'Why all the hostility? '

'You

left

, ' says Chuuya, before he can help himself, the word hanging in the air heavily. It has four years worth of anger in it, but there 's an undercurrent of pain to it that he hopes Dazai doesn 't pick up on.

Dazai

laughs

, and Chuuya is going to murder him someday, seriously, but then he makes it even worse when he says, 'You left first. What were your words? That you should have known everything was a waste of fucking time? '

Chuuya jumps off of the piano in outrage. He can 't believe Dazai is twisting his fucking words like that to make it seem like

he 's

the one in the wrong, especially about the time Chuuya had reached out to him to fix things and Dazai hadn 't been interested at all.

He forces himself to take a deep breath though. Chuuya is not going to give Dazai the satisfaction of seeing how much him leaving had hurt him, how much is still does. He 'll take that to the grave.

'Did you get what you came for? ' Chuuya asks instead, voice cold. He gives Dazai a blank look, one he 'd learned from him.

'I sure did, ' says Dazai. He stands up and makes his way to the door, almost skipping along.

Chuuya watches him, feeling his anger bubbling up again despite his attempts to keep it down. He maintains a neutral expression with tremendous effort.

'Thanks for the help, slug, ' calls out Dazai as he leaves. He flashes him another huge grin as he walks out the door.

Chuuya waits five seconds. Then he throws the phone that he hadn 't even realized was still in his hand the entire time at the door Dazai had just walked out of. It shatters into pieces.