Three long years ago...

"You have to make sure Charles has a mother. Please. You must find someone you love and who will love you both. Promise me, Will."

"Promise me."

"Promise me..."

How cruel that those would be the last words of the woman he loved.

Diana Thurlow died in William Charleton's arms before he even got the chance to tell her that he can't. He can't do what she asked of him. He can't find someone just like that. She was irreplaceable. No one could take ever take her place and knowing that she died not realising this...

It broke him.

The night of her death, the King of 'Ostania 'became a ghost himself. The second Diana died, he stood up, ignoring the calls of the doctors around him. Of his family around him.

They weren't real, anyway. Not anymore. Not to him.

He's not quite sure where he was going when he left the hospital that night. Did he drive back home? Was he driven back? He's not quite sure. All he knew was that it seemed as though he blinked and eventually, he ended up looking outside the balcony in their master bedroom.

From the same balcony Diana would once look wistfully into the world, William fell to his knees and gave an anguished scream filled with so much heartbreak that it might still be heard in the dreams of those who slept under the Westerling Palace.

It wasn't fair. Diana was young. She was a good person. Someone with a golden heart who loved her family fiercely.

She was supposed to spend her afternoons painting to her heart's content.

She was supposed to be his Queen for years to come. She was supposed to be there for Charles' first day of school.

She was supposed to be many things.

Instead, she was dead. Out of all the evil, treacherous, horrible people in the world who had nothing to live for, she was gone.

What was sadness became fury.

He had wailed, he sobbed, he struck the ground beneath him, all the while knowing he was never going to get her back.

He's not quite sure how long he stood outside that balcony. All he knew was that when he first came out, there was light. But now he stood under the twinkling stars, resenting them. How dare they shine on this night?

All he knew was that i

ce had frozen his face and fingers. His head, shoulders and legs had been covered in powdery snow. Yet he could not feel the cold. He could not feel anything.

He doesn't think he will feel anything ever again.

Those cold winter nights where he would bundle up with his wife under the covers. The early mornings they would spend with their son. Watching her fuss over Charles and his son being an absolute Mama's boy and simply loving the attention. Those quiet afternoons where he would catch her in the palace gardens, painting a portrait of the winter roses. The way she whispered 'I love you' during long passionate nights. Her smiles, the rosy scent of her hair, her laugh, her touch, it was never coming back. He thought he had the rest of his life to enjoy them and just like that, it was never going to come back.

No. No, no, no, he couldn't do it. He didn't want to live a life where he could never feel any of that ever again.

The balcony was sky high. The howling winds of the blizzard that was slowly beginning meant that one could easily die before they could even touch the ground.

But dying meant that Diana wouldn't be alone.

S

uddenly, it didn't seem so bad.

With that thought, William Charleton, King of Ostania, walked up to the stone rails of the balcony. Where he placed his hand, he saw a glimpse of his wife's and remembered how he used to put his hand over hers and hug her from behind as they watched the world outside.

He pulled himself up until one foot was on the rail, then another until finally he was standing straight, ready to jump.

'You're a coward, William Charleton...'

He knew this.

But he no longer cared.

So, he took 'once 'look at what was once his kingdom. Not that he cared anymore, but he didn't worry. They would go on without him. The world will keep turning. The sun will rise again tomorrow. The only thing that will have changed is that the world will be short of two 'Charletons.

His eyes closed and he took a deep breath. He didn't feel scared at all. He didn't feel relieved. Right now, he just didn't feel anything anymore. Just emptiness. He's heard of this feeling before but nothing could have prepared him for just how alone he felt. How utterly, utterly alone, and how it felt like he would have to carry this burden for the rest of his life.

But as he felt ready to jump, he heard a tiny voice behind him.

"Daddy?"

It was a timid voice, full of fear and uncertainty. Of course, William didn't need to turn around to know who it was.

"Where's Mommy?"

Slowly, William's eyes opened.

He slowly looked behind him and as expected, his spitting image was right behind him, in his light blue oversized coat with clouds on it, a soft 'teddybear 'in his hand and the look of utter fear in his eyes.

He was so...small. So small and scared, his sleeves practically dangling off his much too short arms. The wide-eyed look of confusion, fear and sadness in those big grey eyes, not yet unsullied by the world and its cruelty.

The boy had just lost his mother and he didn't even know it yet.

At that moment, William

finally realised the tears that had been falling this whole time, stinging his eyes. Then, he was suddenly aware of everything.

He quickly jumped back in the balcony, terrified of tripping backwards and falling to his death. What was this? Fear? He thought it wasn't possible to fear death anymore. But right now, knowing what would have happened if his son was only a few seconds later, his heart beat so loud that he could barely hear his shallow breaths.

Was it possible to feel so much at once? Sadness, fear, guilt, shame?

For as he stared into his son's large grey eyes, a boy more in need of his father than ever, all he could think was,

'I was going to leave you all alone in this world...'

How could be he so selfish?

Before his son, he broke.

He fell to his knees and held Charles in his arms, quietly sobbing as the poor confused boy just wondered what on earth was going on.

"Daddy? Why were you standing there?" He asks.

"It's going to be okay, Charles." William answers instead, not wanting to explain how he had almost betrayed the most important person in his life, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking, "It's going to be okay."

But it wouldn't be.

At least, not for a while.

"Promise me, Will..."

On nights such as this, his wife's words would ring in his ear.

Diana had a tendency to haunt him even after all these years. Though admittedly, since he met Yor, he hadn't seen her. But tonight, as he watched another woman he wanted die in his arms...it was no wonder Diana's whispers came back.

Of course, Yor didn't actually die. So, there was plenty cause to celebrate.

But she could have.

And when her eyes began to close and her skin got paler, Diana's death kept playing right in front of him.

So that night, he had an entire bottle of wine. When he came back home, Charles' nannies mentioned that he seemed tuckered out and immediately slept as soon as he got home, which was a good thing. William couldn't look into his eyes and remember that faithful night even more.

He couldn't sleep. It had been well past midnight and he kept pacing back and forth in the balcony. It was freezing, much like it had that night. He's not so sure why he's torturing himself like this. Why be here again? He hadn't stepped foot in this balcony since he had almost left his son all alone in this world.

But somehow, it seemed so fitting. Like this was the only place he could be.

Really, he should be more careful. Another assassin could swoop in and finish off the job.

Well, if that happened, at least he wouldn't feel so horrible anymore...

'Don't say that, you coward.'

Even in his drunken state, William scolded himself,

'You have to stay. For him.'

And Yor?

No. Yes? God, he didn't know anymore. There was far too much going on in his head.

He wanted her so much. Seeing her in her husband's arms tortured him. He wanted to be the one to see her as soon as possible. Tonight, Loid Forger was probably embracing her and never letting her go. Little Anya would wake up and be happy to see her mother, probably fussing over her.

On the other hand, William was alone. When Charles wakes up, he won't have anyone to go to.

How different would it be if Yor was theirs...

"Willy?"

He turned around, surprised to hear his sister's voice. His nose must be frozen. He couldn't even smell her usually overpowering perfume.

"Willy, it's freezing! Get back inside!" Charlotte fussed, immediately grabbing her brother's wrists and pulling him back inside, closing the balcony doors behind her.

William just let her, absent minded and barely functioning anymore at this point.

She fussed over him, quickly putting a blanket over him, lighting up the fireplace, even going outside to prepare some hot tea for him. He wanted to thank her, but he found himself unable to talk.

She spoke for a bit but if he was honest, he could barely hear what was being said.

That is, until he heard her name.

"What did you just say?" He blinked. His first words since they went back to the palace.

"You haven't stepped inside a hospital since Diana..." Charlotte said softly, "I know today has been difficult but-"

"'Difficult'?" He repeated, "Charlotte, I had to watch Diana nearly die then go home with another man tonight. You have

no

i

dea what that's like-"

"Yor."

"What?"

"

Yor

nearly died...not Diana." Charlotte corrected.

Oh, God. This was it. The conversation she was dreading to have. The elephant in the room. She didn't want to bring it up tonight, not after everything. But it couldn't be helped. She had to stop this madness before it got too far, although something tells her she might be too late.

"Right, Yor." William corrected, the alcohol in his head not even letting him register the mistake.

"Willy, you have to tread carefully." Charlotte warned, trying very hard to remain gentle. But William had always been a stubborn man. Stubborn and a little spoiled, if she's honest. Well, they both were. They were 'Charletons, after all. Whatever they wanted, they just had to have. Deny them and they make it their mission to have it at all cost. "Yor is a married woman."

"That does not matter. I have no ill intentions."

'Liar...'

Diana whispers.

Then another whisper, in Diana's voice, but not quite hers, says,

'What about your promise?'

"Is that what you told Diana's husband?" Charlotte asked.

That hit him. Whatever sluggishness and emptiness was not replaced by fury. Angrily

, he stood up, staring at his sister. He rarely got truly upset with her, but she was crossing a line. "Don't you dare. Diana lived a loveless marriage before and you know that."

"But Yor doesn't!" Charlotte firmly said, standing up to her brother.

"Oh, please. It's a sham marriage!" William exclaimed, "I-I can't explain how I know, but I just do! There's something not right about their whole little 'family'."

"Lie to yourself all you want, but are you seriously going to tell me that you don't sense something between then? Can you really look me in the eye and tell me for sure that they look at each other the way they do and are not in love?" She challenged, crossing her arms. "The man beat you, a

King

. Do you really think those are the actions of a man who doesn't love his wife?"

William wasn't sure what to say.

In truth, no one had ever done what Loid Forger did. Not even Lyle Buchanan and William just knew that he was dying to kill him on the spot. But Lyle didn't move an inch when he let his wife go. Loid, on the other hand, was not only willing to fight, he was willing to risk his life. Loid was not unintelligent. He knows that there are consequences to just offending a King, never mind beating up the whole of the King's men to then actually strike one.

"He's just possessive." He reasons, slugging towards the table and grabbing the wine, ignoring the tea Charlotte brought. "It happens. A man will always want a woman as his even when he does not truly want her.

"

"Is that truly what you believe or what you want to believe?" Charlotte asked.

William sighed. "This is really none of your business, sister."

"The hell it isn't! Yor is my friend! She deserves better, Will!"

"And she would have better! With me! You know that as a Charleton, she'd never want for anything!

"Ah-ha!" Charlotte exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at him. "So, you admit it? You are purposely trying to wreck a family just because you're trying to replace Diana. Don't think you have me fooled. When you told Yor to choose the white dress...I didn't realise it at the time but then when they went home I suddenly realised why she looked so familiar."

"Yes, yes, Char, you've always been the smart one." William muttered, not even caring that Charlotte knew. She already did a long time ago, anyway.

"Will, what you had with Diana was real. I may not approve of how it started, but what you had was beautiful. You can't just replace that." Charlotte said, at this point desperately trying to plead with her brother to stop going down this road,

"I know you want Charles to be happy, but he has you! He has me! He has the rest of the 'Charletons! He has the unconditional love of so many people and he will grow up to be a happy man and he will thank you one day. Please, William, don't do this. What would Charles think if he knew that his father selfishly destroyed a family?"

"Charles is a child. He doesn't know anything." He said coldly. "And neither do you, Charlotte. Why on earth would I listen to relationship advice from

you

, of all people? You've dated half the world and yet, here you are, unmarried and childless."

Charlotte's arms dropped and she took a step back.

At that exact moment, William's heart stopped.

No

. No, he didn't mean that. He just wanted to hurt her. But not like this. This was too cruel.

"Charlotte, no, I didn't mean that. I'm so sor-" but it was too late. Charlotte had already began to stomp out of the room. The inebriation seemed to disappear as William immediately ran after her, "Charlotte! Please, I'm sorry! I swear, it just..."

"You know what?!" She said, her hair whipping as she quickly turned around. "Fine! Do it! Go after Yor, but she will

never, ever,

leave Loid because she loves him! You will never succeed and you will have to live with the guilt of what you've tried to do.

"Char-"

"

But by all means

,

try it

! Take a woman away from a happy life with her husband and daughter. I'm sure the mother of your child would have been proud."

With that, Charlotte left. She knew she twisted the knife in William's heart, but she didn't care.

William just watched as she practically ran away from him. He wanted to run after her, but decided that perhaps it was best to leave her be for now, no matter how awful he felt. He stumbled back in the master bedroom, running his fingers through his hair.

'Stupid. You're so stupid!'

William said. '

She just wanted to help you.'

And he just hurt her. Because isn't that what he did with the women in his life? Hurt them.

William sat on the edge of his bed, burying his face in his hands. Some man he is. Making his baby sister cry like that...

A knock on his door and for a brief second, William's heart leapt as he quickly ran to his door, "Charlotte? Char, I'm so sorry, I-"

But when he opened the door, he was met with his Uncle Petyr's face.

Sighing, William's shoulders dropped, "Uncle, I-"

"I saw the Princess running. She seems a bit hurt." He noted.

"Yes, and that's because of me." He said, full of shame and regret. He couldn't even bare to look at his Uncle, "God, she must hate me. I deserve it. I was so cruel...I'm her brother, I'm supposed to protect her and all I ever do is hurt her."

"Oh, now, let's not exaggerate." He said, "I must admit, I did hear a bit of your little exchange...It's the harsh truth, but Charlotte needs to be told that one does not give advice on matters they know nothing about."

"We both know Charlotte knows plenty about love." He reminds him. "And loss, too."

"So do you." Petyr reasons. "It also seems like tonight you almost suffered another loss."

Well, yes and no. How could he lose Yor? He didn't have her. Not really.

And slowly, William was started to see the wisdom in his sister's words. She was right. No matter how he spins it, it was different this time. Yor Forger was not only married, she had a family. Yes, he is convinced that she would be far happier with him.

But when he meets Diana once again, would she forgive him for his sins?

"Don't think I haven't noticed. Dark hair, pale skin, 'colorful 'kind eyes..." Petyr commented,

"I knew where this was going from the second I saw her. She's not like the women you've dated to try and appease the royal image. This one actually means something. Well, I'm not opposed to you being with her if it makes you happy. ' I'd rather your next wife wasn't a married woman, but these things can be easily dealt with. After all, it was the case for Diana."

William shook his head, "This isn't the same. Diana wanted to run away with me."

"And this Yor does not?" Petyr chuckled, "My boy, you are underestimating our family's charm. She will want to in due time. All you need to do is toss aside that family of hers. '

William 'cringed, "Do you hear yourself?"

"Yes, I do. They are the same words said out loud you must have only said in thoughts." He said.

It was true. And William hated himself for it.

He was weak. He had always been weak but losing his wife destroyed whatever little strength he had.

"Look, Uncle, the only reason Diana's wretched husband agreed to a divorce was because he cared more about money than her." He sighed. Diana's marriage to her first husband was one of convenience, not out of love. But he'd be lying if he wondered if the same could he said for Yor. "Something tells me that all the money in the world won't convince Loid Forger to let her go."

"Perhaps. But if he truly does love her, you needn't convince him to leave her. You just have to convince him that she would be happier with you. So, stop targeting Yor and focus on her husband." He advised, knowing fully well that was exactly what William has once done. "Like I said, it's not an ideal situation. I'd even say it's somewhat 'dishonorable. But when it comes to family, as far as I'm concerned, 'honor 'is expendable. I mean no harm to a simple family, but all I know is my nephew needs a wife and my grand-nephew needs a mother. I also know that this Yor may be the only one who can 'fulfil 'this."

William bit his lip. The second his Uncle reminded him of motherhood, all thoughts went back to her words...

"Promise me, Will."

It's been so long, but he was finally in a position where this might finally be possible.

'But at what cost, love?'

He asked her,

'If this is the price to pay to keep my promise, would you forgive me?'

Of course, try as he might, he will never hear an answer.

"I can see you're still conflicted." Petyr said, unsurprised, "Listen, whatever you decide to do, you know you have my support and I will do everything in my power to help. But just once, forget everything. Forget duty, forget honor...j

ust follow your heart, my boy. We royals seldom get the privilege to do so."

His Uncle left after his words, leaving William to contemplate his choices.

He fell back on his bed, staring at the ceiling with nothing but the sound of the crackling firewood not too far from him.

In his deepest of hearts, he knew. He knew that if he continued his pursuit of Yor Forger, he would be committing a great sin. It had all been fun and games but tonight, he finally considered just what he was doing and what it all meant. Having family confront you the way they did will certainly do that. Having the object of his affections almost die was also bound to shock him into action.

But then again, women like her couldn't just be found anywhere. She made him feel for the first time in so long. Was it truly possible to let that go?

The alternative was this: he leaves her alone, forever secretly pining. He finds another woman to marry. She would be his wife and Charles' mother. But would she have Yor's warmth? Would she have that quiet strength so ferocious that it was almost intimidating? Could she make him smile like Yor did? Would she have that dark hair and those eyes...?

No. She wouldn't. Couldn't.

William had been around the world in search for this and never had he found it. He had all but given up. Then she came into his life, a sign that he didn't have to be alone. He could be in love. He could be happy again.

He would feel horrible at first. It would eat him up inside. It would torture him for months, possibly even years. But it would go. He knew it would, because at the end of the day, if the end resulted in him having her, could he truly regret it?

He thought of Loid Forger. His little girl. He closed his eyes and sighed.

'I'm sorry, Loid. I'm sorry, Anya.' he thought, 'But I need to think about my family, even if it means tearing yours apart.'