Chapter 9 - Can't Keep My Hands Off You
'I am Agent Twilight. The perfect spy. I have had countless successful missions and although they have been challenging, it was nothing I didn't think was unmanageable. I have stared into the face of the impossible and conquered it. I never once found a situation that I couldn't find a solution to.
But now, I face a completely different challenge. One that I'm not sure how to approach. One that is both terrifying yet oddly exhilarating: I am in love with my wife.'
'Terrfying yet oddly exhilarating' was definitely the best way to describe it: part of him felt horrible anxiety at what this all meant for him and for Operation Strix. At the same time,
he began to understand that there was a reason so many philosophers speak of love. How poets write a thousand sonnets dedicated to the person they long for the most, artists paint their lovers as their muse, even scientists seek to understand why even the most logical and intelligent people who, by all means, should see that love is a weakness or a mere biological response, decide that it is simply worth everything.
Every single smile given, more and more of it was genuine.
The same went towards his wife: every single touch was just closer to him slowly falling.
How?
How was he getting soft?
Seducing women in order to achieve his mission wasn't new to him.
In fact, once upon a time, he mistakenly thought that Yor herself was jealous of Fiona and developed feelings for him. It seemed so long ago.
Back then, he didn't hesitate to put his 'Agent Twilight' mode on in an attempt to seduce her. Well, of course it led her to kicking him to oblivion. An obvious rejection.
Normally, that would discourage him.
But that was ages ago. So much has happened since then. Could things have changed on her end, too?
Before, seducing women had always been part of the job. Never once did he worry about getting soft, developing feelings, or letting his guard down. It never happened and there was never a concern for it to happen.
But it did with her.
It reminded him of his earlier conversation with the Handler. In hindsight, it was obvious that she must have suspected the truth long before Loid even realised it himself. The proof was how she made him think of how much had changed: h
e nearly lost it when she was insulted. He kept reassuring her even if there was no real need to. He felt an unusual amount of guilt when he suspected her of having nefarious motives due to her brother's role. He slept on her lap, letting his guard down completely and being vulnerable to attacks, even if it was for five minutes.
As much as he wanted to contemplate more on what to do, he had to focus: he had a wife and child to get to.
"Well, I'm not sure how this is possible..." The doctor said, as puzzled as she always was when it came to her newest patient, "But Mrs Forger, you are well enough to go home."
Sitting beside her, Anya jumped up and down, "Yay!"
"But I must insist that you stay on bedrest for the next few days. Take things easy. Have your husband dote on you." The doctor proposed with a wink.
As if on cue, the door knocked and there was Loid, "I think that can be arrange."
They say being in love made you feel new things.
But Loid wasn't so sure any of it was really
new
.
His eyes always followed her. He used to kid himself and say that it was studying her, trying to figure out if she was a threat to the mission. Now he knew that he was just captivated by her.
Then there was that urge to touch her. To hold her hand, caress her cheek, press her body close to him. Before, he 'rationalised 'it as him wanting to make sure that they looked like a
real
couple.
Basically, nothing was new. Everything he felt now, he's always felt it. What was new is the 'realisation 'as to why he truly felt the way he did.
It had nothing to do with the mission and everything to do with her.
There she was. The woman he...loves.
What a strange feeling.
He almost felt shy.
Looking back, he almost always did when it came to her.
This was the woman he had come to know over the past few months as a confidant. A friend, even. A sort of partner-in-crime. Someone he undeniably cared about.
'This mission was already a challenge to begin with. But Yor Forger, you have just made it the most complicated one I have ever had, or will ever have.'
He thought. Though the words would have been resentful out of another agent's mouth, Loid himself couldn't help but grin and feel grateful for it,
'
Everything was and always has been for the mission. Everything and anyone else was expendable. But here you are, having me question everything.'
Meanwhile, as Loid Forger struggled with his feelings of love, his daughter's eyes widened and her mouth dropped.
'It's happened. It's finally happened! Papa stopped being so stupid! This is all so...'
"WAKU 'WAKU!" She exclaimed, jumping up and down even more.
"Anya, what's gotten into you?" Loid asked, confused at her sudden excitement.
"I-er, well-" she stammered. "Mama gets to go home tonight!"
This was great! Amazing, excellent, magnificent! It was perfect!
It would only be a matter of time before her Papa asked her Mama to marry him for real. Then they'd be in love and maybe Anya will get a new baby brother or sister! Well, she'd rather have a sister, or maybe a brother
and
a sister!
But whatever happens, they'd be together forever.
Everything she ever wanted was coming true...
"What?" Loid blinked, "So soon?"
'My feelings aside, objectively speaking, Yor seems completely fine. Oddly enough. Even the doctors admit there seems to be nothing wrong with her. An unknown poison that could have killed her...by all logic, she should be knocking on death's door right now.'
A sentiment he dreaded with all of his being.
"E-Erm, most poisons are made of plants, right?" Yor began to panic, "When I was young and didn't have any food, I'd often pick berries and use plants and eat those to survive. Maybe I used to eat whatever was in that poison and built up some sort of tolerance?"
Well, it made sense yet at the same time, it didn't.
'Unless this poison relied on the plant she ate but in combination with something else made it deadly? This is ridiculous. But it makes as much sense as her surviving something like this...'
Without 'realising 'it, Loid began what would be the first of many instances when he would be 'analysing 'in a way that was half-Agent Twilight, half-Loid Forger. By that, it meant that he was closely studying his wife's face, trying to identify any 'microexpression, or the way she moved, trying to spot any sort of weakness perhaps in the way she walked or raised her head. But it also meant that in the very same train of thought, he got distracted by her lips. Did they always have a cupid's bow? Well, yes, of course, he knew that. He's 'memorised 'Yor's face the moment he saw her.
Which begs the question: why did he keep staring at her lips? Okay, well, he know
why. But he shouldn't be thinking about
that.
What he should be doing is
looking for other clues pointing to how Yor survived, but he kept getting distracted.
Truthfully, he wasn't comfortable at the thought of her leaving the hospital so quickly.
'Then again, she would be much safer at home in my hands than any doctor's. They haven't had the training I have. I can spot when someone's at risk of getting seriously injured by poison before it ever happened. I was taught at this when I was experiencing my training with poisons. The poison couldn't be spina princeps, because if it were, the doctors would have 'recognised 'it and she wouldn't have fainted immediately. But I can't take any chances, especially if this poison turns out to be dangerous
, ' At worst, I can get WISE's best doctor to pay daily visits, just to make sure she's okay. Under my supervision, of course.'
"I'm glad you're okay, Yor." He says, the smile on his face peeking out, "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't worry about you. If it's alright with you, I'd like to keep a closer eye on you the next few days."
It was such an amazing feeling, how Yor could feel her heart grow warmer at his concern. She had always been rather independent. But once in a while, it was just nice to not have to worry and have someone else take care of her for a change.
'You need to stop that, Loid Forger. I may end up falling more in love with you.'
It took everything in Anya not to scream
"HE LOVES YOU BACK!"
"You're sweet, Loid, but you don't have to worry. I'll be okay." Yor said instead.
As much as she appreciated it, she didn't like feeling like a burden to people.
"I know you will." He said without a doubt. "But I'm still worried about you. I think I might take tomorrow off at least."
'No missions planned for tomorrow. I think HQ would agree that a husband leaving his wife when she's in bedrest would seem highly suspicious.'
At that moment, Anya's eyes widened.
Tomorrow! The nurse said that she didn't have to attend tomorrow!
At first, Anya was worried that she'd have to figure out some sort of excuse or worse, tell the truth about what happened to her parents. But now...
"I 'wanna 'stay with Mama, too!" She exclaimed.
"What? No, absolutely not." Loid said sternly, "You have school."
Anya's smile dropped. She really didn't want to have to tell her parents the truth. She can't exactly show up to school, now, could she? It would just be weird.
"B-But I 'wanna 'protect Mama, too!" Anya said, which wasn't a complete lie. Perhaps she didn't think of protecting Mama from bad guys since clearly she was more than capable of doing so herself, but it was more so protecting Mama from the Bad King.
'The Bad King loves Mama. Mama loves Papa. Papa loves Mama. But Mama and Papa won't say it. Adults are stupid.'
Anya concluded, not really understanding the problem,
'B
ut
I don't want the Bad King taking Mama away. Papa will need extra support!'
Meanwhile, Yor's heart melted at Anya's words. She knew it wasn't really her place, but she looked back at Loid, practically giving him the same pleading look Anya gave him.
With the combination of the puppy dog eyes and pouty faces from both his wife and daughter, the all-powerful Agent Twilight was completely weak.
'Well, given that the whole ordeal probably scared her, it only seems right to give her a break, if only to ease her fears.'
He thinks to himself.
"How about this? Anya can stay, but we do some schoolwork at home." Yor suggests.
He wasn't going to lie, he was kind of impressed with Yor's quick-thinking. Honestly, it was just even more evidence that she was a perfect mother.
"Schoolwork?!" Anya exclaimed. She was hoping to get a day
away
from numbers!
Well...if it meant not telling the truth.
"Okay! Anya will do it!" She said, fiercely determined.
With a new plan, both girls looked at Loid, who already began to say yes anyway.
"I suppose it could work." He said, sighing and pretending to acquiesce when in reality, he was sort of looking forward to it.
"Yay!" Anya jumped with her arms up in the air.
Watching all this unfold, the doctor smiled. It was always nice to see loving families, especially one as odd as the Forgers.
'Odd' was one way of describing them...between the pink-haired little girl who came in holding hands with the Desmond scion, the father who single-handedly beat up several of the King's guards and the mother who survived what should have been a fatal poison, they were certainly a family that she wouldn't soon forget.
Still, in the name of caution, she insisted that in addition to bedrest, Yor should try her best not to be on her feet. So, she gave her a temporary wheelchair.
Well, the truth is, Yor was perfectly fine within a few hours after initially being stabbed. In fact, she could easily get off her wheelchair, run a marathon, maybe do a quick job for the Shopkeeper and be back at home by midnight.
But it might seem suspicious, so she elected to play the role of the sick wife.
Plus, as she was rolled out of her hospital room, Anya sat on her lap and it was adorable how much she was enjoying the wheelchair ride.
"Weeeeee!" Anya said, putting her arms up, "Let's go faster!"
"This is a wheelchair in a hospital, not a roller coaster at a theme park." Loid reminded, pushing Yor's wheelchair behind her.
Yor had to admit, there was something really nice about Loid helping her. She didn't even had to ask. He just did.
'It's nice to have a partner...
' She thinks, then panics in her mind,
'I-In a friendly sense! A platonic sense! A coworker sense!'
"I don't mind!" Yor smiles, just happy to see Anya happy, "Hold on tight!"
Anya obeyed and wrapped her arms around Yor's neck. Before Loid could protest, Yor put her hands on the wheels and immediately began rolling herself towards the end of the hall.
"Yor!" Loid cried as the wheelchair practically flew across the room, so fast that papers flew and some people were startled.
At some point, he was afraid that they would crash towards the end of the hall but Yor seemed to have the reflexes of a racecar driver and smoothly swerved.
It was only when Yor stopped in front of the elevator that she noticed Anya looking disoriented and her head swirling.
"Oh, I'm sorry!" Yor cried.
'I overdid it, again! I always mess up...'
"'Is okay, Mama..." Anya said as she spun round and round, "It was fun..."
Actually, Anya felt like puking. But she didn't want Mama to feel too bad.
"Well, she's dizzy and feels like vomiting. I'd say she got the full theme park experience without us needing to spend an enormous amount." Loid said, trying to lighten the mood.
To his delight, it worked. The smile on Yor's face slowly returning.
She then remembered that she needed to be stronger. For him. For Anya. Even for herself. And being stronger meant she should so being so harsh on herself.
Meanwhile, seeing her smile made every thought from Loid's head go away, if only for a second.
Loid coughed, an attempt to bring himself back to reality, "Let's go home."
At that very moment, they all once again smelled a waft of vanilla and sugar in the air.
And...somehow saw glitter swooshing past them?
"M'am, you cannot just throw glitter in the halls of a hospital." They all heard a nurse say.
"Oh, of course! I'm so sorry, I didn't 'thi-"
"Princess Charlotte! Please ignore my colleague, you can throw as much glitter as you want!"
"Er, well, okay." At that point, the Forger family turned around to see the pink-clad blonde practically running towards them.
And not too far, her brother.
At the sight of William, both Loid and Anya went into battle position. Loid instinctively bending his knees and putting his hand on his pocket reaching for his gun, ready for a fight (even though he knows he's not about to hurt the King of 'Ostania 'twice in a day). Meanwhile
, his daughter immediately went into defense mode, mimicking a pose she'd seen Bondman do many times.
Of course, on her, it looked 'kinda 'weird.
William felt his own defensive instincts taking over. Well, any man beaten to a pulp would be apprehensive in approaching the man who did the deed. But he was no fool: after seeing Loid knock out his men and William himself, he knew that physically, he stood no chance against him. The only course of action was strategy. Fortunately, William once played this game before and he had no doubt that he could play it again.
As for Yor, although she didn't feel the need to be too weary, she felt a bit awkward seeing William, especially after their conversation.
Because the truth is, it's difficult to truly be upset with someone who obviously cared a lot for you. It's already obvious to anyone that both Loid and William were handsome men due to similar features: tall, similar elegant composure, sharp features that made them look like princes out of a fairytale. Well, in William's case, it's not far off from reality.
But now, they looked more alike now than ever, all because of their eyes: both had those eyes on a person who's had a long, difficult and scary day. Although relieved, they were both simply ready to go home and rest.
The only difference is only one of them would be going home with Yor.
"Yor, I just wanted to see you off before you go!" Charlotte said, then frowned, "Oh, we were due for Sunday tea, but I'll just stop by your house I guess!"
"I'd like that." Yor smiled.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to visit, too-" William piped but was quickly interrupted by Anya who jumped back on Yor's lap on all fours.
"
Hissssss!
" Anya looked practically rabid as she hissed and glared at the King,
protectively guarding her mother from him.
Loid had never been prouder.
"Anya!" Yor chastised, not really sure what's gotten into her. Then again, maybe this is normal for children? Really her experiences with them are still new and shakey at best, but even she knew that this whole thing seemed unusual. Maybe it had been effecting Anya in a weird way and she blamed William for what happened?
"Erm, anyway, as I was saying, I would like to visit
at some point." William piped, very careful at his words and backing away from the rabid animal-looking child, "I still feel awful about what happened. But at the same time, I'd like to make it up to you and make sure that you are okay."
"She will be." Loid said firmly, an obvious rejection to his proposal.
Of course, at the end of the day, it was really Yor's decision. She
bit her lip. She still stands by her conversation earlier about needing to set boundaries. On the other hand, at the end of the day, William was basically her boss.
Unless, of course, she quit, which she was serious contemplating.
In the end, she simply sighed. A small visit couldn't hurt. After all, had William been any other ordinary person, she believed they would have wanted to do the same regardless. Although perhaps Sunday would prove to be a busy day.
"I suppose a quick visit would be okay." She agreed, but then quickly added, "But perhaps a brief one. I imagine I'll be resting a lot."
Loid and Anya sighed. Not exactly ideal, but they can work with that.
As far as Loid was concerned, he had the homefield advantage, anyway.
Besides, this way, he could assess how William will act after their conversation.
To his surprise, as he looked over at the younger Charleton, Charlotte frowned. How odd. She didn't seem to like the idea of her brother visiting as well. Still, with all the diplomacy of her education, she smiled, "Well, we'll see you on Sunday then."
"See you then!" Yor said cheerfully, more so at the idea of her
best friend
(God, it still felt unusual to know she had one) coming to visit.
"Okay, anyway, bye-bye!" Anya said, quickly hopping back into Yor's lap and tugging on her Papa's sleeve, indicating him to leave.
No need to tell him twice.
Not even awaiting the King's farewell, he began to wheel his girls out.
Yor waved goodbye behind her, not missing the confused looks on Charlotte and William's face. As soon as they were out of sight, Yor turned to Anya, "Anya, you've been behaving oddly all day. How are you feeling?"
"I-" Anya began, but she then 'realised 'that she didn't know where to begin. She nearly died today. Then her Mama nearly died. Now, even after they've both survived, the Bad King's evil plan is now in Anya's mind.
So, in addition to being scared about her Mama's life and Operation World Peace, she now had a new mission: making sure that the Bad King is 'outta 'the picture and 'sleepin' with the fishes. Yes, that is also something they say in Bondman and she's not too sure what it means but the bad guy went away in the next episode so she's hoping it's something like that.
"I just don't like him, Mama." She says, "He seems evil."
"I know you're scared, but you have to understand that what happened wasn't his fault." Yor said softly. Despite everything, it's true, she didn't blame William for the assassin at all. How could she? There was no way he could have known.
'That's debatable.'
Loid scoffed internally.
"But he's also in love with you." Anya says.
Hearing someone else say it out loud froze Loid's blood. So, even Anya noticed it.
It was bad enough that he was trying to take Yor away, but now he's done it in a way that even her daughter notices and he still doesn't relent?
Unconsciously, Loid's grip tightens around the handles of the wheelchair.
Despite his attempts to avoid her gaze, Loid's eyes fall to Yor and he quickly saw her looking up at him.
'Is she trying to read my expression? No, impossible. I've trained my facial muscles to conceal all expression.'
Says the superspy who has frowned in despair, smiled, laughed, and just hours ago, beat up a monarch in the name of love.
'Is he mad at me? No, that's not it. I've never seen him truly mad. He looks almost...well, was it in 'Berlint 'in Love where Vincent was jealous of Allegra's 'fiance? No, he couldn't possibly be jealous. After all, why would he be? I'm not his...and he's not mine.'
Thinks the assassin who had straddled him hours ago and had him leaning over to kiss her.
'Don't worry, Papa!
We'll make sure the Bad King doesn't take Mama away from us!'
Promises the little girl who was oddly enough the most self-aware of the Forger family in that moment.
"Don't be silly, Anya." Yor smiles at her, "The King is just very lonely, that's all. I don't think he has many friends."
'Maybe because his friends worry that he'll seduce their wives.'
Loid sasses internally.
"Be that as it may," Loid interjects, "I would prefer if he found other friends than my wife."
Of course, now knowing the truth, Loid knows that it no longer has anything to do with the mission and the risk that the King poses. Oh, don't get him wrong, that is still very much an issue. But Loid's bitterness towards the King? It all goes back to Yor and how he feels about her.
Shocked, Yor turned her gaze up to Loid, but he seemed determined in looking ahead instead and not letting her read him.
Okay, so they weren't going to discuss anything. That's fine. Yor could live with that.
For now, anyway.
As they arrive to the parking lot, they all 'realised 'that they faced a bit of a conundrum.
"How is Mama's wheelchair going to fit into the car?" Anya asked, getting off her Mama's lap knowing it might be easier somehow.
"Well, it's foldable, that's a start." Loid said as he opened the front car door.
Yor couldn't help but be amused at her family's antics. Still, she began to pull herself off the wheelchair, "I think I'm fine to just-"
Before she could say that a quick step into the car was fine, she felt Loid's hand under her knees and on her back, lifting her in the air.
"Eep!" Yor squealed. Part of her leg instinctively rose in an attempt to kick Loid, but it stopped midway. Believe it or not, given their practice at touching each other, Yor was a bit more controlled in her urges to simply push away Loid's closeness to her.
Being in such a vulnerable state would usually put her in a slight distress. After all, in this position, Loid could easily drop and kick her throat. He could throw her headfirst into the concrete wall. He could even twist her arm or her legs in an attempt to break them.
Had it been anyone other than Loid, she might have been worried about that happening. Surprisingly though, she felt nothing but safety, as indicated by her wrapping her arms around his neck.
After a second, they both just stared at each other, faces burning.
'I was this close to your lips only a few hours ago...'
'Why couldn't I finish what I started?'
Well, as much as Anya enjoyed her parents being a step closer to being really together, she was still an impatient kid who didn't really understand why her parents was just staring at each other. After all, it's not like they didn't know what the other looked like, right? Why were they staring at each other like that?
"Mama and Papa are flirting..." Anya said out loud, breaking the Forger couple back into reality.
"Of course not!" They both quickly said. Before anyone could say anything else, he slid Yor into the car, even going as far as putting her seat belt on and making sure she was comfortable.
"Everything okay?" He asked.
Yor nodded, "Perfect. Thank you."
Well, she sort of missed Loid's touch, which was absurd since it only lasted a second.
Their daughter hopped in the back of the car and they were off, driving in the snowy night. Loid had turned on the radio to the soft oldies station. He always did like feeling that sense of calm that this sort of music had always given him.
It was rather lucky that both Yor and Anya seemed to enjoy it, too. Especially Anya, given how most kids tend to not like the songs listened to by their parents, but she seemed to find it just as soothing as they all did, much like a lullaby.
Yes, it was just as comforting for Yor. But oddly enough, part of her felt like it wasn't enough. Something was missing and it was bugging her. An incessant fly buzzing in her ear, she couldn't help but try and figure it out.
Then it hit her: it was Loid. Of course it was.
She wanted to feel his touch again. It's barely been a minute since they started driving and already, it felt unbearable.
'Would it be odd if I...'
Yes, it would.
She's pretty sure that it would be only natural for a woman to cling to her husband after such a 'traumatic' event. Well, not exactly traumatic for Yor, per se, but would have been to anyone else.
But there was no use lying: she wanted to feel his touch all the time, no matter what. She
couldn't help herself. Over the past few months, she found that she was getting a bit braver every day when it came to her husband.
So, she rested her hand on his knee. She'd seen couples do it in movies and she always wondered what it felt like. It looked like such a small but intimate gesture.
To say that Loid was surprised was an understatement. On the other hand, Yor was certainly a lot braver these days, more unafraid to be openly affectionate.
'Whether this means that she feels the same way...'
Loid thought, then shook his head,
'Of course there's
something
there. A woman doesn't just straddle you like that and almost kiss you the way she did without some sort of sentiment being there. However, was this just a symptom of me being her first partner or did it mean more?'
Well, perhaps the sudden contact was a force of habit after all their practicing. Actually, it most likely was.
But even for a second, Loid just wanted to get lost in her touch.
So, keeping one hand on the wheel, his other hand dropped down to his knee right on top of Yor's. At first, his thumb rubbed the back of her hand, right before intertwining his fingers with hers.
For the rest of the car ride, they would go on to keep their eyes firmly in front of them, watching the snow falls on the roads in the night sky. But for the first few seconds of holding each other's hand, they both looked at each other.
And they both smiled.
It was only for a second and they both looked away just as quickly as they looked at the other. But both of them had similar questions...
'Is this okay? Am I asking for too much?'
'Could I really keep her?'
They didn't let go of each other's hand the entire ride home.
During the ride, Anya couldn't help but wonder at first why her parents felt the certain urge to never let go of each other's hands.
Then she remembered that it was no different from this afternoon, when she couldn't bring herself to let go of Sy-On Boy's hand.
Which, if she was honest, she was starting to miss.
She never thought she could feel comfortable holding someone else's hand other than her Mama and Papa. Somehow, though, holding Sy-On Boy's hand was different, although she couldn't tell you why, since she didn't even know herself.
She 'realised 'that she won't see Sy-On Boy for three whole days. How odd. She's spent weeks before without seeing him, back when they would go on that boat cruise, for instance. Yet now, she felt like she would miss him, which was really weird.
Although she couldn't hold his hand, she instead elected the wrap her new scarf around her tightly. The scarf was quickly becoming her new blankie, making her feel just as safe as her toys.
'Maybe the faster I become Sy-On Boy's friend, the faster the mission for world peace will happen."
Anya thought, believing that was the reason.
Well, it seemed like complete and utter obliviousness was a rite of passage for a Forger.
Every Forger in the car felt sleepy. It wasn't because it had been a long day. It wasn't even because it was late.
It was because the ride home itself felt like a dream.
The faint sound of the radio played songs from the past, becoming lullabies against the soothing noise of a running car. Everywhere they looked, everything was coated under a comfortable blanket of snow and faint drops of snow still fell from the skies above.
Sometimes, the littlest Forger would catch a glimpse of a snowflake and imagined a ballet dancer instead.
She'd take a break from looking at the window sometimes and instead look at the back of her parents' head. Not really sure why, but perhaps she just wanted to make sure that this was her life now. After all, she was reminded earlier of what once was. So, every once in a while, she would take note of her father's pale gold hair that sometimes turned gold when they passed a streetlight and she would sniff the air and smell her mother's familiar rose-scented perfume. They were there. She was here. They were all going home together.
And with her parents finally 'realising 'the truth, it could only go up from here.
Of course, despite knowing their feelings, things were still much more complicated for the Forger parents.
At this very moment, Yor would glance at her hand which intertwined with Loid's. It was curious how such a normal everyday act could make her feel like she was about to melt in that moment. Usually, contact and physical touch meant that something violent would follow for her. But holding Loid's hand, with no expectation or endgame other than to just feel him close to her, it was, well, indescribable.
Loid was just a psychiatrist, of course and given her profession, Yor probably wouldn't need his help regardless. Yet she had never felt safer than when he held her hand.
As for Loid, he fought the entire ride the strong urge inside him to pull Yor closer. To put his arm around her shoulder and have her head rest on his chest as he drove. She would have felt his heartbeat and he would have felt her breathing so close to him.
But the closest he could get was that every once in a while, his thumb would rub her hand and he would hold her just a bit tighter. Sometimes, she was the one to do it. In those moments, it felt a lot warmer in the car than it should.
Glancing at the rearview mirror, Loid occasionally saw that Anya's eyes were getting droopy and she stared at the snowfall outside.
What surprised Loid the most is how idyllic it all seemed. They could have been an ordinary family just coming back from a late night dinner, now enjoying the quiet night, getting ready to go to bed and sleeping peacefully knowing that their loved ones were all safe and sleeping under the same roof.
Both Loid and Yor thought the same thing: these simple delights had no place with a person in their particular fields.
But maybe, just maybe...
The car ride back home felt simultaneously long and short. Driving through a dream, then waking up when the time came to get out of the car and back home.
When the car stopped, Yor turned around and whispers, "Anya's asleep."
Loid turned around and smiled. Anya was already a cute child, but when it was even more so when she was so tuckered out and wrapped around in a huge 'sca-
"Did you buy her that scarf?" Loid blinked. He looked closely at the scarf and could obviously tell that it was high quality. It wasn't out of the imagination that Yor could have bought it for her, but it was a bit large...
"I thought you did?" Yor said, surprised. They both looked at each other and were obviously confused, but Yor 'realised 'something and couldn't help but say teasingly, "Perhaps her new little friend bought it for her."
Loid frowned, "Desmond?"
Well, Yor just found it funny how protective he was, "He did seem a bit smitten with her, don't you think?"
"I suppose..." Loid said, nearly grumbling. No one at WISE taught him how to deal with daughters and new boyfriends.
"It's okay, Loid." Yor reassures, "He won't hurt her. He probably still remembers that first day of school."
Oh, true. The infamous day where Loid honestly thought all chances of Operation Strix succeeding were gone. In a way, it's almost ironic given that now, everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place. With the Desmond Boy and Anya becoming fast friends, it's only a matter of time before he could nudge Anya to insist on an invite.
But then, that would mean the end of Operation Strix...
"Loid?" Yor quipped and he couldn't be happier for it: he didn't want to slip into 'what ifs'. Not yet. He can't afford to fall apart now.
"We should go home, don't you think?" Yor suggested gently.
Loid nodded, trying not to focus on how Yor's hair caught the moonlight. But then his eyes fell as hers did and they both ended up staring at their hands, still holding each other.
Like shy schoolchildren, they used to immediately separate and couldn't get away from each other fast enough. But a lot can change in a few months, weeks, days...or even hours, it seemed.
Because neither one let go, even after their eyes slowly climbed up until they no longer looked at their hands and instead looked at each other.
This was becoming a dangerous game and they both knew it.
"I'll get the wheelchair..." Loid says. This time, unlike all the other times when he was so quick to get out of the situation, he lingered on a bit longer. He didn't want to get out of this car. Once they were out of this car, the dream was over and then he'd go into his room, her into hers, and they would be separated for at least an entire day.
But dreams have to end eventually. With a lot more difficulty than he expected, he slowly began to release her hand, but didn't look away from her. To his surprise, her red eyes seemed to lose their shine when they no longer touched.
When he finally did look away from her as he exited the car, he sighed into the winter air. The cold escaped from his lips, feeling a lot icier than it usually has.
Still, there would be time to think about this later. He slowly grabbed the folded wheelchair from the car and wheeled it towards Yor.
As he did before, he carried her into the wheelchair, being as gentle as possible. Though she didn't seem to be in pain at all, he didn't want to take any chances. He then opened the backseat door and gently scooped Anya in his arms.
Without even needing to say a word, Yor held her arms out and Loid carefully gave Anya to her. He's thought it so many times before but despite Yor's insecurities, he truly believed that she made a great mother. The fact that she instinctively took Anya in her arms showed that.
As they entered the building, they were both very careful of their sleeping daughter. Yor took a bit of Anya's scarf and held it over her head, worried that the building's lights would wake her up.
When they were back inside, they were greeted by Bond, who happily scattered towards them but looked confused at Yor's state. Why was one of his masters sitting down?
Well, both of them put their fingers over their mouths, so it meant that they wanted him to quiet. Besides, his little master was asleep and Bond didn't want to wake her, so instead of barking, he quietly followed, tail wagging.
'Wow, what an intelligent dog.'
Yor thought, or were all dogs really this smart in general?
Either way, they all quietly went into Anya's room. Bond jumped on the bed, ready for his sleeping buddy to join.
Yor began to unwrap the scarf around her and handed it to Loid. He couldn't help but inspect it and just as he suspected, this was one of those cashmere scarves that average adults would only buy as a special treat to themselves. Certainly had no place in the hands of a six-year-old. Of
his
six-year-old.
As Yor gently removed Anya's coat, she looked a bit surprised at her uniform. Was it her imagination or did it seem a bit larger than usual?
No, it definitely was. Even under the dimmed light, Yor's eyes had always been rather sharp. You had to be when you were launching a poisoned needle from across the room without being spotted. Now that she's a lot less tired and the scarf and coat had been removed, it was even more obvious that the uniform was too big.
Perhaps she had accidentally stretched it when she cleaned it yesterday. She was very tired, after all. In likelihood, it was nothing to worry about, but she reminded herself that she definitely needed to have it sorted. Luckily, she had the entire weekend (and Friday) to do so.
Too busy checking out the scarf to notice her confusion, Loid missed Yor wheeling herself closer to Anya's bed and gently tucking her under the covers.
Loid looked back at them after he neatly folded the scarf and put it on Anya's chair. He only saw Yor tucking Anya in, taking Chimera and placing it under Anya's arm. He didn't even think of doing that, but it was the little details in what Yor did that made her so special. He slowly walked towards her and held her wheelchair, planning to bring her away, but not before glancing at his daughter in her peaceful slumber.
"She's had a long day." Yor says.
"She did...I have the feeling it was a lot more eventful than we think." Loid says and Yor quietly nodded, coming to the same conclusion even before Loid said it out loud.
"Let's ask tomorrow. In the meantime, I think we all need a good night's sleep." Yor suggested.
He couldn't agree more.
Well, he knew they needed it. But he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get any anytime soon.
No, he had to figure out what he was going to do.
Today was a lot. Not only in terms of emotions, but he knew between Yor's accident, the King's presence, and a dozen 'kingsmen 'knocked out by a run-of-the-mill 'psychiatrist', eyebrows would raise and tongues would wag on the events at that hospital.
This alone was dangerous. He had to figure out a way to blend back in.
Then there was the matter of the assassin. Who was it? Why did they go after the King? How on earth did Yor survive?
More importantly: what would he do now that Operation Strix was compromised by none other than himself?
"Loid?" Yor called, "I think I could use some tea. Care to join me?"
That sounded like heaven right now.
"Of course." He said as he began to wheel her towards the kitchen.
"If it's alright with you," Yor said, "I'd like to get out of the wheelchair. I don't think I need it as much as the doctor believed I did."
"I don't doubt it." Loid admitted. He suspected that Yor didn't really need it but did so just to ease everyone's minds.
But even Yor, who was so used to doing everything herself, probably had enough of it. He didn't blame her for wanting to be back on her feet.
"Let me help you up then." he insisted as he held his hands out to her.
As he did, Yor couldn't help but remember their hands during the car ride. Clasped together, the odd combination of comfort yet fast heartbeat, how her hand had never felt so cold as when he let go.
She slowly took his hand and got up to her feet gently, making sure to look like she was struggling at least a little bit.
"Hold onto me," Loid insisted, holding his arm out.
"Oh, no, I really don't-"
"Yor," he said in a somewhat teasing voice, "we've talked about this."
Just as he had said on their date a few days ago. Yor chuckled, wondering if Loid always had a funny side and she was only recently noticing it. Although in her defense, she's pretty sure that he was being more open about it with each passing day.
Per his request, she held onto him as he led her to the kitchen.
But it was the proximity that reminded them of earlier...
Without 'realising 'it, they both gulped and chuckled nervously at the same time.
'What was I thinking?!'
Yor wondered, wanting to do nothing more than crawl under a rock in embarrassment.
'B-But he didn't push me away...he could have very easily, but he didn 't.'
Was it out of reciprocity or pity?
Meanwhile, Loid had been wondering the same thing.
'She had just experienced a traumatic event. Adrenaline is known to spike during these times. Yet with everything we've been through together, all signs point to her feeling the same.'
a thought that made him smile. But the smile soon disappeared as soon as he thought,
'But I can't afford to act on it. Besides...if she knew the truth, would she ever forgive me?'
Wordlessly, he watched as she slowly pulled away from him. He was surprised at first, but 'realised 'that she wanted to make the effort of putting on the tea kettle herself.
"Yor, let me-" he insisted, about to suggest that perhaps it was better that she sits on the couch while he made the tea.
"Don't worry, I can do it!" She insisted, kettle already beginning to heat up.
Yor liked having honey in her tea at all times. She knew it wasn't Loid's favorite at night, mostly because honey had certain properties that could keep you awake for longer and it just wasn't a good idea for a nighttime tea.
Still, she wanted to ease her sweet tooth, so she reached towards the top shelf trying to grab the honey.
Now, Yor wasn't exactly a small woman. She was just a bit taller than the norm and never exactly had issues grabbing anything. But for the top shelf, which was unusually high, she usually hopped a bit to grab anything.
But as she got on the tip of her toes, preparing to jump, she felt a presence right at her back. Quickly, Loid's arm reached out from behind her, effortlessly taking the honey and placing it in her hand.
As he did, he couldn't stop himself from gently caressing her hand as he let go of the honey.
'Stop, Agent. You need to stop.'
He repeated to himself, but nothing could prevent his hand from staying on hers, or his other one from slowly reaching her waist and pulling her closer to him.
Yor felt like her chest was about to burst open.
She kind of liked it, though. Being pinned against the kitchen counter, having her husband so close to her, just the feeling of being together after a rather long day.
As nice as honey was, she didn't feel like looking at it any longer. Not with her husband holding her like this.
So, she put it down, then began to turn around slowly, his hands never truly leaving her waist as she leaned against the counter.
"Loid," she decided to have the first word because, well, if she was bold enough to climb on top of him earlier, then surely, despite her slightly trembling fingers gripping the kitchen counter for dear life and her red face, she could be bold enough to talk about the elephant in the room, "About earlier-"
But whatever spell had possessed both of them to be so close to each other immediately broke with the loud whistle of the tea kettle.
However, this time, they didn't jump away from each other nor did they look away like shy schoolchildren.
In fact, they didn't even let go of each other at first.
But Loid was the first one to slowly back away from her. But why was it so hard to do so? He couldn't even break eye contact with her.
The more he walked away, the more it felt like something was pulling him back to her. Probably those eyes. Those goddamned dangerous eyes. For a brief second, he contemplated letting his body do whatever it wanted: to go back to her, to touch her, to have her, to just be with her. Consequences be damned.
As soon as he 'realised 'just what he was entertaining, he swiftly turned around, coughing into his hand and straightening his posture. Now, he didn't have eyes in the back of his head, but he could sense Yor's confusion and disappointment.
There was no use in denying it:
something
was happening between them. No matter how inexperienced Yor was with these things, he could tell that she was slowly starting to pick it up. Knowing her insecurity, he knew that perhaps she was convincing herself that none of it was real or perhaps she was even confusing herself.
Despite wanting nothing more than to turn around and tell her that her gut instinct is right; that he has indeed fallen for her and he's getting less and less good at hiding it or masking it as part of the mission.
But he couldn't do that. At least...not yet. Maybe.
'No, no, this is for the best.'
Loid thought.
'I need to think clearly about my next move. I have so much to ponder and being around Yor is preventing me from thinking straight. At least I'll have the whole night to myself in my room alone without her distracting me.'
Two seconds later, loud bangs on the front door were heard, followed by the ever-loved Yuri Briar and his legendary excellent timing.
"I KNOW YOU DIDN'T THINK I WOULD LEAVE MY SISTER ALONE AFTER LEAVING THE HOSPITAL! MAKE ROOM, FORGERS, BECAUSE I'M SLEEPING OVER!"
Both Yor and Loid looked at each other with widened eyes. If Yuri was staying over, it meant
one thing: that Loid would have to spend the night with Yor.
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