Dazai squinted down at his supplies list before folding it back up and sticking it in his coat. He smiled emptily at the building Snape had stopped in front of.

'Ollivander 's? ' he hummed, 'That 's wands? '

Snape shot him a scathing look, but that sort of anger wasn 't as impressive compared to the mafia members Dazai was familiar with. ' For now, however, he didn 't mind going along with the professor 's whims. Until he had some more concrete research on magic, following orders was a safer play.

He would make even better decisions if 'Mori 'would just tell him what in the hell the plan was. Bastard.

'Right, ' Dazai hummed, 'I 'll just go in then. '

He almost expected Snape to scamper off, but the man followed only a half-step behind. Dazai must have made a curious expression at that, because Snape sighed.

'It seems I can 't trust you to shop on your own. ' He hissed, 'Besides, the idea that any wand would willingly put up with you boggles the mind. '

'It 's not my fault the goblins don 't like me! '

Probably. '

Wait 'does that mean the wands are sentient? '

Snape shot him another look just as the opened the door and entered the shop.

Immediately, Dazai was greeted by towering shelves, filled from end-to-end with small boxes. He blinked up at what he presumed to contain wands with a look of awe usually reserved for things of particular interest. 'So 'these were the items that allowed people to manipulate magic! He 'd love to crack one open and see what made it work 'if only just to have something to do in this tedious world. Dazai reached out to take one off the shelf.

'Excuse me. '

An older-looking man suddenly appeared directly to Dazai 's left. Not having heard him approach, Dazai startled and pulled his hand back with a hiss.

'Ollivander. ' Snape greeted with a passive grunt over his shoulder.

'Severus. ' The wandmaker smiled, 'It 's not often you come to my shop. I trust your wand is still in working-order? '

'Indeed. ' He stuck his chin out, 'Unfortunately, a foreign muggle-born requires more delicacy than our groundskeeper can manage, so I have the task of delivering him around 'Diagon 'Alley. '

'I suppose Hagrid does tend to make a scene... A wand for the boy, then? '

Snape made a noise from his throat.

With a nod, 'Ollivander 'spun on Dazai. His eyes were narrow and assessing in a way that made Dazai 's spine snap a bit straighter. Still, he was familiar with heavy attention like this enough to school his expression.

Dazai blinked sluggishly at the older man, offering an expression perfectly dull. For his part, 'Ollivander 'only continued to study him, a look like optimistic interest in his eyes. After a moment of silent staring, Severus cleared his throat loudly.

Ollivander 'nodded abruptly. 'Your wand 'hand? '

A bit off guard at the non-sequitur, Dazai held out his right hand. The old wandmaker probably meant dominant hand, and while that technically meant he could use either hand, Dazai was eager to get a move on. 'Ollivander 's 'eyes held nearly the same level of cryptic calculation of 'Mori 's, and that meant all his secrets were easily fair game.

Without warning, a long stick was being shoved into Dazai 's hand. He stared at it for a moment before looking back to 'Ollivander. 'Walnut and dragon 'hearstring. 8 ' inches. '

'Well, give it a wave, boy! '

He did. Despite how little he appreciated the lack of information, he had to admit he was curious. Giving the wand a swish and a flick '

Nothing happened. Not even a light nor a sound. Dazai frowned, waving again with a bit more force than necessary.

'Not that one, then. ' Seeing how the boy pouted at his wand, 'Ollivander 'tried for a reassuring voice. Dazai didn 't think he sounded all that convincing but couldn 't place why. 'We 'll find a wand for you yet. '

He took the glorified stick back and immediately replaced it with another. 'Apple wood and unicorn hair, then. '

Gripping the wood firmly, Dazai gave another wave. Again, no response.

The look in 'Ollivander 's 'eyes 'he didn 't like that manic sort of eager. It was a look like he had found something quite fun to play with. Not wasting another second, another wand found its way into Dazai 's hands. Then another. And another.

From beside the door, Severus pinched the bridge of his nose.

----

Nearly three hours later, and Dazai had effectively bled the wand shop dry. Wand after wand after wand 'rendered useless in his hands. 'Ollivander 'rubbed his chin, frowning. Still, there was a glint in his eyes that made Dazai think the man was actually having quite a bit of fun. He supposed working in the same business for so long must get boring.

With how much pressure Snape was using to rub at his head, Dazai thought the man 's head might explode. He almost wanted to tell the man to just go home, but he was having his own fun driving the professor mad.

Still, it was a useless endeavor to look for a wand. With No Longer Human the way it was, Dazai was nearly certain any of these so-called-wands would become little more than useless twigs upon contact. He still wasn 't entirely convinced he even

had

magic. Despite what Snape and Dumbledore and 'hell, even

Mori

had said, Dazai still hadn 't faced any proof whatever magic he had 'wasn 't 'nullified. Dazai didn 't really know what game 'Mori 'was playing, throwing him into the fire like this.

Annoying. He 'd rather be hanging from a noose than be getting plunged into a world he knew nothing about. Squinting slightly at the wandmaker, Dazai felt a headache 'building 'in the back on his brain.

'I don 't think your wands like me. Hey 'let's just give up and go home. Do you think they sell crab anywhere nearby? '

Ollivander 'scratched the bridge of his brow, expression tight. He easily ignored Dazai 's tangent. 'It seems not. My! I 've not had a case like this in decades! '

'So? ' Snape barked. 'Am I expected to just bring the boy to Hogwarts without a way for casting spells? '

'There 's no wands in potions, right? Don 't you want me to hang around? '

Snape shot him something like a glare, even though Dazai was trying his best to seem pleasant. Ah 'maybe the potions professor could already tell that Dazai was a slacker at heart.

'No, no! ' 'Ollivander 'interrupted, waving his hand. He cast a scrutinous gaze between the duo, eyes lingering for nearly a minute on Dazai 's teasing expression. 'Well, maybe ' It is strange though. If I didn 't know any better, I 'd say you didn 't have any magic at all. '

Dazai 's eyes narrowed. 'About that wand, then ' '

'Right, of course! I 'll have to make one custom just for you. Very exciting, really. Not very often a case like yourself comes around. ' He paused for a moment. 'Three weeks ' maybe four. And I 'll need something of yours, of course. Hair always does the trick ' '

'How about blood? '

Both 'Ollivander 'and Snape startled, blinking at the 'bandaged boy with twin expressions of something like shock. The wandmaker dropped his hands mid-way through an exaggerated, demonstrative motion. 'For the core ' yes, I suppose that would do. '

Severus ' lip twitched.

Good. Dazai nodded, reassured. Hair ' he wasn 't sure about hair. But blood could easily act as an extension of his own body, especially if Dazai could figure out how to channel his 'magic ' into it. He was optimistic that if the wand contained blood from his still-beating heart, something might work. Even if that something was just him having a piece of wood filled with blood. While he was still positive this whole magic thing wasn 't going to pan out ' well, he 'd made a deal with 'Mori. Might as well try and get a functioning wand.

Anyway, Dazai was kind of excited to see if it would work, too

'Blood... yes, yes. I think it will do just nicely! ' The man considered him with an indecipherable look. 'I 'll need a vial, course. I don 't suppose ' '

'Ah, have you got one, then? ' He pulled the pocket knife from the pocket of his long, dark coat ' 'A jar? ' Snape shot him a quick look 'something almost challenging or annoyed.

'and promptly dug the blade through the 'bandages on his left 'arm 'and into his skin.

Again, both parties stilled, expressions aghast. Severus wore 'a 'look Dazai was hesitant to classify 'something jarred, yet cautious. Seemingly too shocked by his abrupt self-harming, the professor and the wandmaker stood in silent surprise until the white 'bandages started to dye red.

A drop of blood fell to the floor.

Snape was the first to react, rushing forward with an expression like stone. 'What are you doing?! ' Without warning, he took hold of Dazai 's 'arm 'and pressured the stab wound.

At the sudden, unwanted contacted, Dazai had to 'will 'himself not to flinch (it was a near thing, really). 'Ah, professor... Aren 't you listening? I 'm getting blood. '

Snape frowned and gave the boy an indescribable, blank look.

Spurred into action, 'Ollivander 'abruptly vanished behind a row of shelves. He returned not a minute later with a small light-blue cup.

Dazai didn 't waste a second to struggle out of Severus ' grip, laying his hand an inch above the cup. Slowly, a thin a trail of blood began to fill the cup. He could feel the other two 's eyes bearing into him.

'That should be enough. ' The wandmaker said lightly just as Dazai was starting to think he would need to cut again. 'Thank you... ' The man sent him a quiet, searching gaze.

He must not have found his answer, because all the man did was rub at his chin like a person trying to solve a puzzle that was missing its corner pieces. 'Ollivander 'frowned, thoughtful. ' 'I 'll 'send an owl when it 's done. '

At his side, Snape growled and tore 'Dazai 's 'arm 'back to him. 'Outside.

Now. '

'

Huh? Shouldn 't I pay him, sir? ' He smirked.

Ollivander, who was staring into the depths of Dazai 's blood pool before then, gave a mostly casual wave. 'Consider it free of charge. I 've not had a challenge like this in some time. And the wait, after all... '

At the declaration, Snape didn 't wait a moment longer. Gripping Dazai 's 'arm 'with a white-knuckled fist, the professor dragged him out of the shop roughly. Despite the rough treatment, the mafioso trailed behind with only a look of mild amusement.

The second the door clicked shut behind them, Severus whirled around, staring directly into Dazai 's eyes. 'What in the

hell

are you doing?! '

He blinked, nonplussed. 'Getting blood? Wasn 't that obvious? '

'It '! ' Severus moved to pinch the bridge of his nose, but seem to think better of it when he realized there was blood on his hand. 'Don 't be short with me, boy. Stabbing oneself is not the correct response to any situation. Do you understand me? '

'Yes, sir. '

No.

Clearly, Professor Snape wasn 't a very well-versed individual, because Dazai could think of a number of situations in which stabbing himself might be beneficial. Easy access to his own blood was only one of many on that hypothetical list of merits.

'Good. I don 't know where this idiotic behavior began, ' his eyes slowly followed the multitude of 'bandages on the boy 's body with an expression Dazai couldn 't quite discern, 'but it will

not

be tolerated any longer. '

Dazai nodded, nonplussed by the overreaction.

'

Now let me heal that cut. '

'Hm? It 's fine. Don 't bother! '

His 'arm 'was coated in red, absorbed all the way to his elbow in the cotton 'bandages. Snape glared at the blood, then back to Dazai impatiently.

'It 's fine. 'Mori 'is a doctor 'he'll patch me up. '

Severus ' brows raised.

Ah 'shit. He should probably call 'Mori 'his dad, right? Oh well. 'Anyway, ' he transitioned fluently, 'I promise to behave the rest of the way! What 's next on the list, sir? '

Again, the teacher 's gaze simply hardened. 'Stay still. ' Snape 's grip on the boy 's bloody hand tightened, holding him in place. Without another word, he pulled out his wand.

With renewed vigor, Dazai tugged his 'arm 'to get free. This only stood to make the wound tear a bit larger, however. He felt like a child, struggling against the man 's harsh grip fruitlessly.

'

Stay still. '

He repeated lowly, 'We still have shopping to do and I won 't have you dragging this on longer than it has to by bleeding out on the way. '

Ha. As if Dazai would be so lucky.

He 'd rather just wrap the cut in 'bandages but, well... he

was

curious what it feels like to have magic used on him. At first, he wasn 't sure that magic would even work around him, given No Longer Human. But the Knight Bus didn 't seem to have any problems. And there was that slight hint of magic buzzing in the air of 'Diagon 'Alley, too. That magic had been brushing up against him all day. So really, what 's the harm?

For some reason, it still seemed like a bad idea.

Maybe he just didn 't like Snape touching him. Regardless, Dazai didn 't actually have a choice. He pulled a face, gave up on the pointless struggling, and offered a sheepish look instead. With a childish pout at where Snape 's hand left a white mark on him, Dazai whined, 'Please be 'more gentle 'with me, sir. I 'm fragile. '

Snape must not have cared for the display, because his scowl only deepened. Still, Dazai couldn 't help but to perk up in interest when his professor raised a wand and pointed it to the wound.

'

Episkey

. '

Dazai stared down at the weeping wound, then blinked. That tingle of magic he 'd felt buzzing in the air seemed to sing 'the air began to feel thick around his 'arm 'where the wand was pointed. He waited to see the wound mend over, but after a second, that thick swell of magic vanished.

He looked from the very-much-still-bleeding cut up to Snape, trying for a look of innocence. 'Sir? '

Snape 's brow furrowed and he gave the wand another (if 'more terse) swish. '

Episkey. '

He ground out.

Again, that buzz of magic followed by an absence. Dazai chuckled lowly. Was No Longer Human nullifying magic after all? 'Well, that 's that. Guess I 'll just have it patched up later. ' He 'd 'definitely 'have to investigate this later.

Snape 's expression didn 't clear. If anything, the growl building in his throat only threatened to bark out louder. 'What are you doing? '

'...are you sure you didn 't just do it wrong? '

The grip on his 'arm 'returned ten-fold, and Dazai felt himself go tense in response.

'I didn 't

do it wrong

, boy. '

'Ah, ' Dazai hummed, trying for teasing, 'I don 't believe you. '

He jerked Dazai 's 'arm, forcing Dazai to take a stumbling step forward. For all his luster and charm, Dazai wasn 't physically strong enough to not be tugged around like a ragdoll (or worse: like a child).

'What. Did. You.

Do? '

'

Nothing. '

But I might stab you if you don 't let go of me.

Dazai 's eyes narrowed, but he tried not to look quite as defensive as he felt by smiling. 'Didn 't you say we were in a hurry? Anyway, it 's already healing up. '

It wasn 't.

Not that it mattered. Dazai had been beaten, bruised, and shot-at enough times to know when a wound was serious. Something like this wouldn 't kill him 'it wasn 't deep enough. Unfortunately.

The glower on Snape 's face didn 't lessen. His lip pulled up in something like disgust blended with annoyance. 'I will not tolerate this disrespect at school, boy. Let 's hope that bleeding out on the way to getting your books teaches you something about obedience. '

If bleeding out was this easy, he 'd have done it ages ago. Regardless, Dazai couldn 't help the pleased smile that crossed his face when Snape acquiesced. Unfortunately, he was sure the professor was also giving the situation some cautious thought, and Dazai didn 't really like to be under the microscope like that.

'Books, sir? '