Zoro thinks everything is weird as

fuck

and Luffy needs to be a little more aware of that.

He hasn 't even met Nami for more than a minute, and Nami is already raising all the alarms in his head. God, this crew is goners without him!

She exudes the air of a warrior, battered and beaten and resting in the body of a laid-back teenager.

Sort of like his dojo master-- a grandmaster hiding in complacency. Hell, Zoro knows the cons of underestimating someone like that firsthand.

And that arm. That

arm

.

It 's a prosthetic. He 's not going to ask how she lost it-- but a girl, working a metal arm like it belongs on her? That 's the sign of level one guts, especially in East Blue.

Most people leave lost arms be-- even that one Yonko left his arm alone instead of seeking to replace it-- because metal arms bring more bad than good. It changes your fighting style, alters your footsteps, throws you off balance.

Not something you'd do unless you're committed to a life of rough battle.

Someone who can fight well with a limb that they didn 't grow up with-- that 's a fighter rising from the pits of hell. Kuina would 've

loved

to meet Nami.

Zoro respects Nami, but he only trusts her about as far as he can throw her.

...which, in hindsight, might be pretty far actually.

No no no, that 's not the main problem.

Luffy asked someone to join straight up, and she actually said yes without hesitation? Then he proceeded to blow someone up for her, and she 's already loyal as a clingbug, not even complaining when Luffy literally eats her treasure dry?

And then the Whitebeard mark. What the fuck.

So somehow, by some mad coincidence, Luffy meets a former Whitebeard pirate that 's also a good navigator with a lot of money,

and she just joins?

There 's suspicious, and then there 's this.

Zoro just wants an explanation. Or twenty.

-

Then he sees her awake most nights, sees her cry some.

He rolls over and continues to pretend he 's asleep.

If Nami 's suspicious, they can deal with it later in the future.

But for now, she 's fine here.

-

'Let 's get a big ship on our next island! ' Luffy declares. 'We got a navigator! Now we need a musician. '

Zoro laughs at that last part. 'A musician? '

'Yeah, cause pirates sing! ' Luffy grins.

Nami sighs longsufferingly. 'Why are the most ridiculous things always on your priority list? We need a doctor, first and foremost! '

'A doctor? Why? ' Luffy asks, because he genuinely doesn 't know at all.

Nami facepalms.

'If you 're planning on going to the Grand Line, you need to be more prepared than just

battle battle adventure treasure

and

fight

! ' she bonks him on the head.

Zoro doesn 't even respond this time. He 's used to that now.

She lifts her hand and counts off her fingers. 'You need a skilled navigator to even get there. Then you need a doctor in case anyone gets hurt. You need a shipwright to keep you afloat, and a scholar of the Grand Line if we don 't want to die immediately. '

Luffy blinks, 'so we need mystery people? '

He immediately receives a well-deserved punch to the head.

Zoro looks at Nami and doesn 't say anything.

'I 'm gonna guess you don 't understand either? ' Nami asks.

Zoro hesitates for a moment. Then he nods.

Nami sighs. 'Okay, okay, ' she calms herself down, 'we can agree that musicians aren't a priority right now? '

Zoro nods. 'But do we have a choice? '

Nami groans, 'you definitely know Luffy well. '

Zoro, for one, is glad that Nami is to some degree a sane person. Too bad their Captain is insane enough for both of them.

-

One thing Zoro finds rather interesting is that, even after they realized Nami was a Grand Line Pirate, Luffy doesn 't ask a thing about it.

No 'what 's the Grand Line like ' or 'are there really crazy things there? ' or 'how dangerous is it? ', not even questions of treasure or Whitebeard.

Just 'oh okay, but you 're with us now '.

Luffy is strange, but what else is new?

Looks like Zoro has some catching up to do in the weirdo department.

-

'OW! ' Luffy whines for the hundredth time, because he 's made another dumb comment probably.

Zoro stares.

When will he learn?

'Wait, ' he says, 'Luffy. ' The boy turns to him. 'You 're made of rubber, but it still hurts? '

Luffy stares at him for a moment, holding his throbbing head.

Then he balks, 'you 're right! ' Luffy snaps towards Nami, 'why does it hurt?? It 's like what Grandpa does. '

Zoro raises an eyebrow at the last part.

Nami hums. 'Well, it 's something you have to know to survive in the Grand Line. Your grandpa ' if it 's who I think it is, then yeah, he definitely knows how to do it. '

Luffy blanches, 'you know my grandpa? '

'The entire world knows your grandpa, Luffy, ' Nami dismisses, 'it 's called Haki, and it can nullify Devil Fruit powers to some degree. Wanna learn it, Zoro? Then you can help me knock some sense into this idiot. '

Luffy makes an offended, traumatised noise in the corner.

Zoro blinks appreciatively at Nami, surprised by the sudden offer. 'I can learn it? '

Nami smiles. 'Anyone can learn it. In fact, I reckon you 'll be able to do this

much

better than I can, ' she says, 'the swordsmen that can do this-- they can cut through stone, steel, ships, I 'm not a swordsman so I don 't know, but yeah. It 'll definitely come in handy for you, Zoro. '

That definitely caught his interest.

So all great swordsmen can do it? That 's something an East Blue swordsman like him would never know otherwise. Doesn 't that mean he 's way too far behind right now? He can 't cut steel yet, but apparently it 's common in the Grand Line? Damn.

Zoro clutched his swords closer to him, thinking twice. 'What 's the catch? '

Nami grins, 'my lesson fees are pricey. '

'For

get

it, witch! ' he snaps, 'you have all our money right now! '

Nami smiles wider, 'oh, I can lend you some! ' she raises her hands in a counting-money motion, 'at a two-hundred percent interest, of course. '

'In your fucking dreams, you thief! '

-

'So that 's the Gecko Islands ' it 's pretty big. '

'There 'll definitely be a ship somewhere we can take! '

Luffy looks mildly excited. Zoro reckons he just likes the prospect of adventure, more so than the town itself. Are they going into the town?

'We need to shore off a little more to the side, Luffy, ' Nami says, downing the captain 's mood, 'I 'm flying a pirate sail, so if we go through the major city 's entrance, we 'll have more than just angry civilians with pitchforks on our backs. '

Luffy pouts.

'Huh? Nami, there 's someone sitting there, ' Zoro points out first as they come closer to the beach. Sitting by the edge of the cliffside, wearing overalls and not wearing shoes-- as they came closer, Zoro also noticed his oddly long nose.

'Sitting there? ' Nami actually put down her rmap, 'in plain sight? Is he stupid? '

And Zoro hums. That 's right-- people don 't usually just sit there when a pirate flag is approaching. Zoro can 't quite tell if this guy is good or bad news just yet.

Zoro 's general impression of Nami thus far is 'she 's this Grand Line veteran, even though she 's younger than me '. And it doesn 't quite strike in until they come to the conservative little Syrup Village and they meet Usopp.

Luffy, of course, is the first to ask who the weird guy is.

And the boy puffs up his chest to declare, in the most staged voice he can muster-- 'I'm the great Captain Usopp, leader of the great Usopp Pirate Fleet, commander of eighty million men! '

How on earth does someone speak all those lines without cringing?

Zoro turns to Nami for validation, only to find that she's frozen. Stuck, jaw slightly agape, eyes stuck in a moment of pain and recognition.

'Hey, Nami, ' he speaks, soft, 'are you o-- '

The boy is still talking, 'they call me, Usopp the Terrible! '

'

No

, ' Nami jumps, like she 's desperate-- and Zoro can 't help but stare.

It 's just like she 's been waiting forever to say this, that the words are just lost in her throat. She struggles for a moment too long, but the words come out and there are tears in her eyes.

'You were called the Worst ' Usopp. '

Her voice dies at the end.

And Zoro suddenly realizes.

Oh

,

they know each other.

They 're acting like old war buddies who haven 't met each other in much, much too long, and it hurt to see each other again.

He turns to the long-nosed boy, and the boy 's completely stiff in his spot. His hand halfway at a thumb pointed toward himself, his eyes squinting like he 's trying really, really hard to look--

His fake joy crumbled instantaneously.

(What was his name? Aesop?)

Zoro turns to Luffy. Luffy 's staring at them with a similar amount of stilted curiosity. Zoro 's impressed that he hasn 't busted a few hundred questions yet-- Luffy was always unnecessarily loud, but it seems like he had tact after all.

'Nami. '

And Zoro immediately regrets thinking this guy was weak at all.

Even Luffy takes a step back when the glare

sears

onto Usopp 's face. Roaring from his figure, a will so fierceful and so-- so

angry

-- that Zoro 's first instinct is to reach for his swords and Luffy 's fists tightened into a fighting stance.

Zoro swallows something thick in his throat. Because

fuck

, that was the kind of bloodlust you 'd feel from Koushiro when one of his students got hurt by a bandit. Pure unadulterated

anger

.

'Nami, who did that to your arm? '

Zoro pulls his sword out of his sheathe. Luffy fixes a stern glance on Zoro, and Zoro eases. Because Luffy says no-- and that 's probably got a reason.

Yeah, let the two settle this themselves.

Nami finally puts her metal arm out before them, telling them that it was fine. Nami breathes out strong and slow, like she 's forcing herself to ease.

'I 'll handle this, ' she whispers to them.

Then she raises her voice.

'Usopp! ' she says, then with a more resolved tone, 'it 's just you and me. '

The weight lifts right off of Zoro, and Zoro suddenly realizes just how tight his breathing has been. That glare was heavy.

So

heavy.

So this is the level of a former Grand Liner?

They 're so behind.

Usopp and Nami are looking at each other eye to eye-- Zoro recognizes this as a silent conversation between trusted comrades.

Luffy looks like he 's really interested now-- Zoro rolls his eyes at that-- so Zoro slots his sword back into the scabbard and straightens himself. If there 's no danger, then

whatever

now.

'You guys are Nami 's friends? ' Usopp speaks in a similar tone to his funny declaration from before, and Zoro does a double-take at the friendliness. 'I guess that 's fine then. Come on into the village! I 'll treat you to a meal. '

Luffy beams at the prospect of a meal. Of course.

If anything goes wrong, Zoro is going to stab Luffy and run.

-

'I 'm so glad you 're alive. '

What the fuck? What the fuck.

Zoro isn 't going to ask. Okay, he 's not going to ask. It 's not his business anyways, and Luffy is-- 'Oh my god Luffy! '

Luffy gets attacked by a bird.

Again

.

He 's still screaming, throwing blind punches around but the bird is literally just grasping his face for life because Luffy 's shaking too much for it to get a balance and fly off. Cue the struggling madness.

Zoro contemplates drawing his sword-- but he 's not sure which he should cut first, the bird or the monkey. They 're both fucking idiots.

'SAAAGUACK! YOROOO! ' Luffy yells.

Zoro sighs. He 's going to pretend he doesn 't hear a thing. At least this bird isn 't big enough to carry the boy off. He doesn 't want to go on a captain chase across the seas again.

Finally, Luffy wins. He yells 'STUPID BIRD!! ' and peels the bird right off of him, giving it a punch to the head for good measure. 'God that surprised me. '

The bird looks horrified stiff.

It 's a strange bird. It 's not very big-- it 's smaller than an average News Coo, but it 's probably not a baby eagle. It has a deep silver coat, streaked with bronze save for the white belly.

Looks weird. Is it a native Gecko Island bird?

'A bird, ' Zoro notes, wondering if he could butcher it, 'looks edible. ' Because that 's, obviously, the most important thing right now.

Then Usopp barges into them, interrupting with a panicked shout of 'wait wait wait! ', snatching the bird right away and cradling it to his chest like he was looking at a pair of monsters. 'This bird 's my friend! You can 't eat her! '

Awh man, that sucks.

Then Usopp drops a solid heel on Luffy 's head (if Luffy wasn 't rubber, he 'd probably have cracked that skull) and Zoro can 't help but feel a little apprehensive around the kid.

That 's mildly terrifying. Are all of Nami 's friends like this?

They watch the bird fly back off in some other direction, the boy not really caring for where it goes after leaving the rubberman 's reasonable range.

Nami and Usopp lead them into the village, and Zoro can 't help but look down again, wondering why the long-nosed boy still isn 't wearing shoes as they step onto the stone pavement.

Isn 't that an injury hazard?

Even Luffy wears shoes.

Well whatever, it isn 't Zoro 's business. And Nami doesn 't seem to respond to it, so maybe it 's a normal thing between them? Oh god, Zoro really needs to up his weirdo game if he wants to fit into this crew.

...

wait

. He 's not in the crew yet. Why is Zoro already assuming every weird guy they come across is going to join the crew?

Lord, being sane

hurts

.

-

They meet the Usopp Pirates, which is basically a legion of brats that sort of worship the long-nosed storyteller like he 's a hero or something.

They learn a lot about him in the next hour. He 's known as a serial liar, and everyone tolerates it. People either enjoy it or hate it with a passion, but no one actively throws things at him for being annoying.

(Which Zoro is already tempted to do within thirty minutes of meeting this punk.)

Red-haired Shanks 's sniper 's kid. Come to think of it, Luffy 's said that his hat was given to him by the guy-- good lord, is there

no one

here that isn 't somehow connected to an Emperor?

Zoro might need to get himself a Warlord as a foster dad so he won 't get left behind, probably.

After chasing the three stooges away with a rather impulsive joke, Zoro gets bonked on the head, and they 're now headed toward a relatively fancy mansion at the top of the hill.

He still doesn 't get why they don't just head toward the main city instead. Even Nami, the smarter one of the bunch, isn 't realizing this.

Is Zoro on crack, or is everyone else on crack without him?

Whatever then, he doesn 't care as long as he gets to take a nap soon. He 's peaked his quota of bullshit for the day.