The doctor arranges for you to leave later that day.

It feels sudden. Like it's happening too fast. But you're tired of sitting around and waiting for things to come to you. Besides, it feels like everyone is trying to get rid of you, and you're tired of feeling unwanted. You don't have a lot to pack: just some of the clothing that Doctor Fizal provided you with, some spare eye patches, and your jacket.

"I can't believe you're really taking off," Hange says forlornly, hanging off of your shoulder. You had gone to tell Erwin and Hange that you were leaving- they were the only ones you really needed to say good bye to. Levi was nowhere to be found.

Hange had insisted on accompanying you until you left. Erwin had wished you the best of luck and left it at that. "I thought you wanted to be a scout!" they protest.

"I do," you agree, "but everyone seems to be doing everything possible to make sure I don't do that."

Hange chuckles. "You mean Levi? He's probably just stopping you because you were the only one who could take him in sparring and he likes being number one in the Corps."

You straighten up immediately. "I could?"

"Well, maybe." They shrug. "You two went at it once on one of the few training days you got. It was just supposed to be light sparring, but the two of you took it pretty seriously. You guys were hitting each other pretty hard, but no one tried to step in- probably would've gotten themselves hurt if they tried."

This is news to you. You can fight, apparently. "Who won?" you ask.

Hange grins. "Levi. But it was close."

You hum to yourself. Interesting. Maybe there's some way you can train on your own while you're at this farm. "Thanks for everything, Hange," you say, turning to your friend. "I really appreciate it."

"Of course! You can write to me, if you want." Hange's eyes shine brightly from behind their glasses. "I've always wanted a pen pal."

You laugh. "Yeah, of course."

Hange walks with you out of the hospital and around to the side entrance. Willem is there, sitting on the back of a horse and talking to Erwin, who is smiling like he's enjoying their conversation. Doctor Fizal is standing with Tanner, patiently waiting with the reins of another horse. You swallow a lump in your throat and walk towards them, Hange by your side.

Erwin is the first one to greet you. "Safe travels, Logan," he says politely. "I look forward to seeing you return to the scouts in a few years."

"We're already planning on that?" you ask in surprise. "I'm not complaining, but..."

Doctor Fizal sighs. "Well, if you've given this a shot and had sufficient time to heal, then I don't see why not."

Your mood instantly brightens. "Awesome. Yes, please," you say excitedly, turning back to Hange. "I'll be seeing you soon, then."

"Hopefully," they agree. Hange pulls you in for a hug, which surprises you, but you return it instantly. "Write to me!" Hange says as they pull back. "I'll write back to you too!"

You smile, then look up to Willem. He's smiling, but his smile is tight, like he's impatient. "I'm good to go," you say, glancing one last time at Tanner and Doctor Fizal before taking the reins to the horse. You swing yourself up onto the giant beast, settling yourself in so that you don't fall. "Uh, say bye to Levi for me, I guess," you say awkwardly.

"No need," Erwin says, turning behind him. "He's been waiting."

"Oh, fuck you, Erwin," comes Levi's voice from behind the side of the building. You straighten up in surprise, looking for the source, and Levi comes out from the side of the building, jacket slung around his shoulders and scowling. He stomps over to you, looking even smaller than usual from where you are on your horse. He thrusts his hand out at you, and for a bizarre moment you think he's trying to stab you.

You shrink back slightly, then realize he's holding out a black box. "Did I forget something?" you ask with a frown, taking the box from him.

"Yeah," Levi says shortly. "You did."

You tear your eyes from him to the box and open it, not sure what to expect. Your jaw slips open when you see what it is: a knife. And damn, it's a nice knife. It's small- the blade is maybe the length of your hand- and the handle is wrapped tightly in leather.

You glance back at Levi. "Thanks," you choke out.

He nods, then turns away.

You close the case and tuck it into the small bag on your back. Willem is watching you, but from the angle, he shouldn't have seen what was in the box. Levi's message is loud and clear:

stay safe.

That, you can do. It's just a farm with a man who claims he might be your father. How bad can it be?

How bad can it be?

you repeat to yourself as the horses start up. You shoot a glance behind you. Hange is waving and Erwin is standing next to them, stoic. Levi is nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah," you whisper to yourself, turning around. "How bad can this be?"

.

The trip is the better part of an hour, and once you're five minutes away, Willem starts telling you more about the village.

"There's about fifty of us," he says, eyes trained forward on the hills. "A very tight knit community, if you will. Where you'll be staying, there will be six of us. Myself and my wife, Ethel, and our sons, Malcolm and Lars. They're only eleven and thirteen. And the last is my mother, Rann Castello. We work on a farm with a neighboring family. We'll get you to help out with various tasks until you find something you like."

You nod slowly. "How about letters?" you ask. "Can I write?"

"Of course," Willem agrees with a smile. "Normally myself or the man in charge of the other farm- his name is Ted, you'll like him- go into the city every two weeks. We can make sure that the Survey Corps head office is a stop on our list."

"Thank you so much," you say, your shoulders visibly dropping in relief.

"I will warn you," he says, and your shoulder tense up immediately, "we have tried this before with other young women that we believed to be my missing daughter. So the boys may not be particularly attached to you at first. As soon as we can confirm that you are who we're looking for, I'm sure they'll be excited."

"Oh," you reply. "What happened to the other women?"

"Once we realized they weren't who we were looking for, they returned to the city," he says smoothly.

You're not sure why, but it feels like a lie. It's innocent enough, but something's not right. "And what makes you so sure it's me?" you ask carefully.

Willem chuckles, his eyes blank. "Call it a hunch, but you fit better than anyone else so far. And you do share some resemblance with my ex-wife." He reaches into his shirt and pulls out his necklace again. The pendant glints in the sunlight. "If this ever becomes familiar to you, please let me know," he urges. "This would be a strong indicator."

Your jacket pocket suddenly feels very heavy. You force a smile. "I'll let you know," you say politely.

He smiles and turns back to the front, eyes focused once again on the hills. You try to force yourself to relax: you haven't played all your cards, you still have an ace up your sleeve. Once you're sure that he and his family aren't trained psychopaths and the family is something you want to be a part of, maybe you'll mention it. Maybe.

When you get there, it looks like the family is expecting you. The two boys- you've already forgotten their names- are boisterous and annoying as hell, and you'll probably end up kicking one of them at one point. Ethel, Willem's wife, seems nice enough, but there's a tightness to her expression that sets you on edge. The old lady, Rann- who would be your grandmother, you suppose- barely acknowledges you when you come in the door. All of them wear matching necklaces, that triangle within a circle that feels like it's going to haunt your nightmares.

Willem shows you to a room. It's decently sized, slightly bigger than the hospital room, but the only window is a skylight that's way too high up for you to reach. Not to mention the floor is ridiculously creaky. The boys' room is right next to yours and their parents are across the hall. Sneaking out is going to be difficult. Breaking out might be fine, but Willem owns a rifle; you saw it in his study when you came in. Part of you is concerned that your first thought upon coming here is getting away, but it's best to be prepared, right?

The drawers are packed with plain clothing: shirts, skirts, dresses. Most of it looks like it might fit- you may have to make some alterations on your own. Not like you own much to work with right now anyways; maybe someone can teach you how to sew or something.

"Well," you whisper, glancing up and out of the skylight. The stars are coming out. "It could be worse."

It's hard to sleep, probably because you're so on edge. It's been dark for hours, and you're sure everyone's long since gone to bed. You're possessed with a weird urge to go out and look at the stars; just seeing them through the skylight isn't enough. You want to go out to the roof.

Just when you're considering moving a shelf under the skylight so you can climb up to it, you hear footsteps. You frown.

Didn't everyone go to bed?

Then, you hear whispers. Your curiosity gets the better of you and you swing your legs out of bed, carefully stepping around the edge of the room, where the floor is easiest to walk on without creaking.

Take that, you stupid floor,

you think triumphantly when you make it to the door with minimal noise.

You press your ear to the door and listen. The first voice you can make out is Willem. "...I'm sure, darling, this time I'm sure," he's saying.

There's a sigh, and the voice is feminine- you're guessing his wife, Ethel, not the grandmother. "You have to be," she insists softly. She whispers something that you can't make out, but you catch the end of her sentence when she says, "I'm not doing this again."

"Darling, she has amnesia," Willem whispers urgently, and your shoulders immediately rise. "If that isn't a clear sign then I don't know what is."

"You have to be sure," Ethel says firmly, not backing down. "I- I refuse to assist in anything until you're sure."

Assist in anything? Amnesia?

"She looks like her mother," he says insistently. "I'm- I'm sure."

"We will wait," she pleads, "please. Until we are sure and she comes to us of her own free will."

There's a pause, then a sigh. "Fine," Willem says, but he sounds bitter. "Fine."

The footsteps start up again, and you hold your breath as they go by your room. A door opens, then shuts. You wait another minute, listening for anything else, then carefully work your way back to your bed, as silent as you can be.

You don't sleep at all that night.

.

Life on the farm isn't all that bad. Some people come and go- other townsfolk- and they all seem friendly enough. You help out with odd tasks: making meals with Ethel in the kitchen, chopping firewood, clearing out space by lifting boxes. You even manage to start getting along with the kids... Marcus and Liam? Something like that.

It's not bad in any way, shape, or form, but it's boring. All you can think of is the scouts swinging from tree to tree, fighting titans. You think of training: horseback riding, sparring, formations. That all sounds much more enticing that learning how to knit from Rann. But, in knitting's defense, the needles can probably be used to stab someone if you try hard enough.

You mention that aloud by accident in front of Rann, but she just chuckles. "You wouldn't be the first to try," she says, and you grin.

There's very minimal restrictions, and the ones that are in place are strange. For example, there's a giant tree with a strange sort of fruit on it in the back of the field. It was the first thing Willem pointed out to you. "That tree was a gift," he says. "We don't touch it."

"We don't?" you say. Seems like a waste of a gift if you can't use it.

Willem shoots you a wary look. "No. Don't touch it."

You find yourself staring at it anyways. It's huge, with long winded branches and some sort of small red fruit blossoming from the ends of the branches. You have a weird urge to climb it, but there's a giant fence that's been gated around it. The fence is barbed and looks to be almost ten feet high- how bizarre. But besides that, the Castellos are pretty easy going about where you can go or what you do, so you don't question it.

Two weeks fly by so quickly that when Willem mentions he's going into the city, you barely have time to scrape a letter to Hange together. You try to include as much detail as you can, with promises of writing more soon, and you tuck it into an envelope that Willem gave you. Hange's not the only one you want to write to, however, and you frown as your quill hovers over your second blank sheet.

Levi. Would he even write back?

Strangely enough, you find that you miss him. You never saw him all that often back in the city, but somehow knowing that he was at least around was comforting.

Comforting.

You snort.

Levi, comforting? Yeah, right.

You smirk to yourself and jot down a short note for Levi.

Willem drops off the letters, and two weeks later, when he makes his trip to the city again, he's carrying responses. And he's got two of them, which means that either Levi responded to you or someone else is sending you something. You read Hange's first: full of excitement, what they're doing in the scouts, a little bit on how they're going to watch some of the trainees.

When you open the other letter you grin. It's literally two words, but that can't stop you from grinning like an idiot.

These letters are going to be your saving grace; you already know it.

.

Levi frowns when Erwin hands him a letter. Tells him he's got no one to write to him- until he opens it and sees your name signed at the bottom. The letter is one sentence, clipped and to the point, and it makes him smirk (although he's definitely going to deny it later).

Levi:

I'm writing to you whether you like it or not and I'm expecting you to write me back, whether you like it or not.

"What a pain," he mumbles to himself, already moving to his desk to write his response. Levi smirks, reading that one sentence over again. "Stupid brat."

And so, he writes back.

Fine.

Levi