We find ourselves in Rika 's moms restaurant once again, this time for a post battle victory meal. It 's a good thing this is being paid for by gratitude, since I still have precisely zero currency that can be used in this world ' I should probably fix that at some point.

'I 'm stuffed! After three weeks I was ready to eat my own shoes, ' Zoro sighs.

'You 're done already? ' Luffy asks while still stuffing dishes in his mouth.

'Your appetite fascinates me, ' I state as I pick at my teeth with a toothpick. I give him a curious stare. 'Have you ever actually digested a plate? '

He scratches his chin and thinks for a second. 'Maybe..? '

I nod. 'Fascinating. '

'Thank you so much for the food, ' Coby says sheepishly, turning to Rika 's mom.

She just laughs. 'My pleasure, you saved our town after all! ' Then she turns to give me specifically a smile. 'And for stepping in earlier. '

I wave a hand dismissively. 'Don 't worry about it. Helmeppo just needed a good kick in the balls to get his ego bruised. Maybe he 'll make something of himself now that he 's out of his dad 's shadow. '

Maybe these people will one day even be proud to say Helmeppo-the-Marine is from here. (In a long long

long

time when they 've forgotten absolutely everything about Helmeppo-the-brat.)

'You 're so strong and cool! ' Rika awes at Luffy.

'Yeah I know! I 'll be even more amazing when I 'm King of the Pirates, and have the best crew! ' he grins back.

'Speaking of that, how many others are there? ' Zoro asks. Me and Luffy both hum in question. 'Your crew, you said you were still gathering it. So how many others are there, besides us three? '

'Just us! ' 'Yeah it 's literally only the three of us, ' me and Luffy reply at the same time.

Zoro 's face twists into a look not dissimilar to Luffy 's 'you 're dumb ' face. 'Do you at least have a ship? ' he asks desperately. Luffy 's grin widens as he points out the window to the craptastic dinghy we stole from Alvida. There 's a moment of silence as Zoro contemplates his life choices. 'Please say you 're kidding. '

Luffy tosses his head back. 'Shishishi, nope! ' I can see the urge to jump ship (metaphorical, since we only have the dinghy) flash across his face.

'I think Luffy 's missing the part of his brain we need for critical thinking ' ' Coby mumbles from his seat.

I give him a commiserating smile. 'It 's cute you think he has a brain at all. '

'Luffy, where are you going now? ' Rika asks, tugging on Luffy 's arm.

He flashes his signature grin. 'Isn 't it obvious? We 're headed for the Grand Line! '

Juice sprays from Coby 's nose as he starts hacking and coughing. 'Are you crazy?! ' he wheezes out. 'There 's only three of you! '

I raise a hand. '2.5 at best. I 'm like, barely a whole crew member. '

Luffy makes a displeased noise and Zoro just raises an eyebrow, I simply shrug in response.

Coby continues losing his shit. 'You 're not equipped for the Grand Line! There 's a reason they call it the Pirates Graveyard! '

Luffy just laughs and shakes his head. 'That 's what Ed 's for! My super smart First Mate detective knows all about the Grand Line, so we 'll be just fine! '

I give him the stink eye for use of the title. 'Luffy I 'm smart, but even

I

can 't save you from your own stupidity. '

Zoro barks out a laugh. 'Well if the Captain says we 're headed for the One Piece, guess we have no choice. ' He turns to Coby with a raised eyebrow. 'Why are you worrying so much anyways? It 's not like you 're coming. '

Coby 's face scrunches up, 'I know! It 's not like we 've known each other for years or anything, but ' we 're friends aren 't we? '

Luffy cocks his head with an easy smile. 'Yeah! We might have to part ways, but we 'll always be friends! '

Coby 's face takes on a red hue. 'I 've never really had friends, much less anyone who would fight on my behalf ' but you guys taught me to live for my beliefs! So I 'll make my dream come true, and join the Marines! '

'Shouldn 't you be a little more worried about yourself then? ' Zoro pipes up. 'You did spend two years on Alvida 's ship, even if it was just as a cabin boy. Never underestimate the Marines' information gathering skills. ' Coby 's face falls.

A little inspiration couldn 't hurt.

I turn to Coby. 'Hey, ' I call. He makes a questioning noise. 'Become an admiral or some shit. And be a decent one. ' I poke him on the forehead, where one day he 'll sport a cross shaped scar. 'Serve your own justice, not whatever trash they 're selling it as these days. You stay dedicated and nothing 'll stop you from joining, and becoming a top-class Marine. '

His expression is a cross between confused and determined. 'What ' ' Coby 's response is cut off by the door swinging open and a Marine officer striding in.

'Pardon me, ' he stops in front of our table, 'I have to ask, are you really pirates? '

That was faster than I thought.

'Yup! We 're up to three members, so the whole thing is official! ' Luffy proclaims. First order of business after this should be beating some lying skills into this rubber weirdo.

'Hm. Seeing as you saved this town, we are very grateful for what you 've done. But as Marines we cannot allow pirates to stick around here any longer. ' He sucks in a breath, 'I 'm going to have to ask you to leave this town. But out of respect we won 't be reporting this to headquarters. '

There 's noises of shock and protest outside from the crowd, but Luffy just hops up from his chair. 'Time to go then, thank you for the food! ' Me and Zoro fall in line behind him as we start to walk out.

'Aren 't you part of their crew? ' I hear behind me. 'Hey! Is he with you or what? '

Luffy turns and smiles. 'What I can tell you is what he 's been doing up till now. '

Oh brother, I don 't wanna watch this.

I grab onto Luffy by the scruff of his neck. 'We don 't really know the shrimp, we kidnapped him and forced him to take us here. You can have him, ' I say, almost bored.

'Wh ' ' Coby starts.

I cut him off. 'Can it kid, I 'll punch you in the face again. '

I should write a book: The Art of Lying.

'Annoying brat wouldn 't shut up about being a Marine the whole fucking trip too. If nothing else, he 's sure got a pair on him, ' I finish.

Luffy gives an enthusiastic nod. 'Yup! Random guy we kidnapped! And he was never on a pirate ship! '

I give him a long stare. '...We 'll be leaving now. Have fun with him. '

The Marine guy knew Luffy was lying even when he beat the shit outta Coby, just general lying should have the same effect right?

Plus saves Coby a beat down.

I turn to give Coby a wink, then we make our way out of the restaurant toward our ship.

'I wouldn 't be surprised if they saw right through your act, ' Zoro says.

I shrug. 'Even so, I think it 'll all work out. '

'Eh, it 'll be fine. Coby can handle himself! ' Luffy starts unmooring our boat while I hop inside.

'It 's a fitting way to leave, though. Not being able to come back 'cause everyone hates us. Very pirate-like, ' Zoro muses.

'Hehe, exactly! ' Luffy laughs back.

I roll my eyes with a smile. 'I 'm not gonna argue. '

It 's actually a little refreshing, not having to be perfectly polite to everyone I meet because I 'll probably never see them again. I am going to be such a dick.

'Luffy, Ed! ' Coby 's voice calls from where he runs up behind us with Rika and her mother. 'Thank you! I 'll never forget everything you 've done for me! ' He snaps into a salute while the three of us smile.

'Never seen a Marine thanking a pirate, ' Zoro chuckles while he climbs onto the tiny boat.

'Kick ass while we 're apart! ' I order.

'Let 's meet again sometime, Coby! ' Luffy cheers while we start to pull out of the harbour. The rest of the Marines file in behind Coby and salute as well. 'See ya! ' Luffy calls.

'Men! Seeing as our current salute is in violation of Marine law, we will all go without food for three days! ' the Marine officer yells.

'That 's stupid! Just run laps or something! ' I yell back.

The officer looks bewildered then yells back, 'then we will run laps instead! '

'Our pirate adventure is finally starting! ' Luffy proclaims, looking out across the water.

'I get the feeling some crazy shit is waiting for us, ' Zoro muses.

'You have no fucking idea, ' I mumble. He just smirks at me.

Luffy plants a foot on the front of the ship. 'I'm gonna be King of the Pirates! '

Zoro reclines into the weathered wood. 'You seem pretty set on this King business. You got a special reason? '

'Nope. No reason. It 's just ' ' Luffy trails off, staring out across the water.

'Just? ' Zoro prompts.

'Promised someone, a while back. I swore I 'd gather a crew, find the world's greatest treasure, and become King of the Pirates. ' He turns back to smile at us. 'And this straw hat knows the whole story! '

The both of us smile right back at him. 'I see, ' Zoro murmurs.

'I 'm sure that 's not the only one it knows either, ' I muse, draping my arms across the side of our boat.

Luffy laughs. 'Alright, now let 's go! Set sail for the Grand Line! '

Here we fucken go.

' ' ' '

There we did not fucken go.

I 'm already starting to miss Coby 's sea competency. Between the three of us we

almost

make up one full sailor, but not a single person on this damned vessel could navigate their way out of a wet paper bag. In fact, I 'm not sure we could navigate out of a

parking lot.

But that 's beside the point. We 're basically just drifting around waiting to find an island or something interesting. I specifically am waiting for a gigantic bird to snatch my Captain away and set us in the direction of Orange Town.

Right now I 'm looking over the gun I snatched from Helmeppo. My understanding of guns is perfunctory at best ' as far as I can tell it 's some kind of flintlock pistol, which fits with the pirate era aesthetic.

But beyond that, I 'm pretty sure most flintlocks during that time period were single shot. And this thing has enough for a half empty round in it, and I didn 't steal any more bullets.

So conserving ammo is something I 'll have to commit to, and keeping track of how many shots I have left will be paramount. With four bullets left in this thing I damn well better make 'em count.

'Hey Zoro, ' I start, tucking my pistol away and turning to the dozing swordsman. He cracks an eye open and hums to let me know here 's listening. 'Is your teeth enamel like ' ok? '

'What, ' he deadpans, sitting up with both eyes open now.

'Like because of how you hold your sword. Your jaw strength has to be goddamn crazy, but are your teeth still ' teeth? ' He honestly looks seconds away from lunging across this boat to slap me. Maybe I should stop.

'Nah.

'Like do you have a built in groove in your teeth from constantly holding shit in there? ' I continue. His snappening looks like it 's edging closer with every word. ' 'Real talk, can I take a peek inside your mouth, just for a second ' '

Zoro cuts me off. 'If you don 't shut the fuck up right now I am going to toss you overboard. '

The look of dead seriousness is enough to make me back off. But the burning desire for knowledge still remains '

The boat returns to silence, save for the tune Luffy is humming at the front of the tiny ship. I 'm just resting on my crossed arms taking in the view. I had never spent a lot of time near the ocean growing up, but I can definitely see why people retire to Florida now.

'Neh Ed, are you a girl or a boy? '

My relaxed posture immediately stiffens up before I forcefully untense the muscles. I turn to my Captain who is simply staring at me with that wide-eyed curiosity he seems to view the whole world through. I can see Zoro peek his eyes back open out of the corner of mine.

After a moment of silence I reply, 'neither. Didn 't like being a girl, didn 't wanna be a boy. So I 'm like the ' mystery third option. Or something. '

I 'm trying to not let my nerves show but goddamnit if I lose my ticket to the end of the Grand Line over my screwy gender expression I 'll eat my foot.

'You use they/them, then? ' Zoro questions from his corner. I just nod in return. It 's a little surprising that Zoro of all people knows about pronouns, but I 'm not going to complain. I guess he clocks my confusion because he grimaces and elaborates. 'I had a friend when I was younger, had some issues with her gender. Learned a lot of shit once I set out to sea. '

I blink. 'Oh. ' Then I grimace. 'Your friend, is she..? '

He nods. 'Died when we were younger. Stupidly. Strongest person I knew, ' he snaps his fingers, 'gone like that. '

I give him a sympathetic look. 'You meet a lot of queer people on the seas? ' I wonder if that stereotype about gay people not being able to drive applies to boats '

He shrugs a single shoulder. 'A few, you? '

How do I answer that without giving away that I 've only existed here for like, a few days?

'I knew a lot where I was from, but that's because gay people attract each other like magnets. Haven 't met a whole lot on the open seas yet. ' Then I clock onto Luffy 's silence and thinking face. 'If it helps, Luffy, you can just think of me like a ' swarm of bees or something. To help you get the pronouns right. ' Honestly I think I 'll settle for him just not kicking me over the side of the boat.

He appears to come to a conclusion and flashes me his signature grin. 'That 's fine, I 'll just remember! You 're kinda like ' a snail! They don 't have genders sometimes. Ooh or a worm! '

My mouth drops into an O before breaking into a soft smile. 'A snail, huh? If it works it works ' Thank you, Captain. '

He just laughs. 'Why 're you saying thanks? You 're my First Mate, it 'd be stupid to get it wrong. '

That ' went amazing. Christ that tops how this went with my dad by about a mile. Guess it was kinda stupid to think the poster child for freedom would get pissy about me breaking gender norms, but irrational fears gonna be irrational.

'Hey wait! ' I clock onto his words. 'I told you, I can 't be First Mate! Make Zoro do it! '

Zoro just crosses his arm and shakes his head. 'Hell no. I don 't need that kinda responsibility, ' then he glares at me, 'and you shouldn 't run from it. Your job. You do it. '

This bitch '

'And! You gotta balance out my stupidity. Zoro is too stupid for that! ' Luffy grins.

Zoro nods his head in agreement before snapping his head back to our idiot Captain with a, 'hey! '

I grimace. 'It takes more than

smart

to be First Mate. You know I can 't fight, like at all, right? The best I 've got is this gun I stole from Helmeppo. I don 't even know how to shoot! ' I wave said gun around to emphasize my point.

'If you don 't know how it works don 't fucking swing it like that! ' Zoro shouts, hitting the deck to avoid a rogue swing from smacking him in the head. From the ground Zoro scrunches his face at me. 'Besides, it also takes more than

strong

to be First Mate too. Strength in place of leadership is doomed to fall apart. ' That was ' surprisingly insightful. 'And I don 't wanna have any hand in steering this shitshow. ' There it is.

I violently shake my head. 'You 're assuming I 've got leadership skills! I hate to break it to you buddy, but I 'm not exactly the first person people think of when they want someone in charge. '

The blank stare gets blanker. 'You don 't have to be giving orders to have authority. Leadership is whatever you decide it 's gonna look like. You just need to make people respect you. '

I reflect his blank face back at him. 'Uh huh. And that 's gonna work

soooo great

with people who only respect strength. My weak ass couldn 't even get my

cat

to respect me! ' That trademark Zoro Confusion ' returns. I open my mouth to continue.

Luffy interrupts me. 'But you 're gonna get stronger, right? ' I stop to turn to my Captain. 'You 're not gonna be weak forever. And until then you can just detective stuff instead! '

Damn, his big sunny smile is hard to argue with! 'Detective isn 't a verb ' ' I trail off.

I feel like I 'm stealing something. Like I 've just killed a part of Zoro he doesn 't even know he was supposed to have. How the fuck do I measure up to the guy who would take on all of his Captain 's pain like on Thriller Bark, who would do anything he asked at the drop of a hat with zero questions asked, who could organize a batship crew like the Strawhats almost effortlessly?

Next to the First Mate Zoro would be, I 'm practically nothing.

But '

'You sure you can 't pick someone else? ' I ask one last time, an edge of desperation creeping into my voice.

Luffy 's smile widens impossibly further. 'Nope! No one but you will do! ' I sigh and slump down into the boat.

But Luffy 's made up his mind. Maybe I won 't be the super strong First Mate the crew deserves, but I 'll damn well work to earn the title if he insists.

' 'Fine. '

'Fine? ' Luffy parrots excitedly, scrambling across the tiny boat to sit in front of me.

'Fine, ' I repeat.

Then Luffy flings himself at me and we, once again, go overboard while I flail and scream. 'GODDAMNIT LUFFY ' '

Stupid Captain.