By the end of the mayor's tale Nami is on the verge of tears, Luffy is actually quiet for once, and I 'm stuck thinking about another dog entirely.

'But if Chouchou knows his master is dead, why is he still here? ' Nami asks, looking honest to god heartbroken.

'He obviously thinks of this store like his treasure, the last thing his master left for him, ' the mayor answers.

I smear my hands down my face mumbling, 'what in the Hachiko ' '

Luffy tries to look up at me through the bars. 'What 's a hatchimal? ' I 'm starting to think he doesn 't even try with words he doesn 't know.

'Hachiko. It's a story where I 'm from. This dog waited at a train station for 7 years for his owner to return. The owner was dead, and the dog probably knew that, but he still stayed and waited, ' I answer.

The movie based on that dog made me fucking bawl the first time I watched it. Nami somehow gets even closer to tears, bottom lip jutting out in an effort to keep them in.

She opens her mouth, probably to make another commiserating comment, when an ear splitting roar sounds down the street. The mayor immediately loses his shit, yelling, 'it 's Beast Tamer Mohji! We gotta run! ' Then he and Nami book away from us as fast as they can.

Luffy just turns back to Chouchou. 'C 'mon, somethings come up. I need the key now. ' The heavy fall of paws behind us has my neck hair raising and me fighting every instinct to flatten myself on top of the cage like a pancake.

'It seems all your friends have abandoned you, and just after you escaped. '

I can 't even make myself turn around, but I see Luffy stick his nose out of the cage and ask, 'who 're you? '

'I 'm Beast Tamer Mohji, a member of the Buggy Pirates. '

His answer prompts me to turn, and when I do I fail to hold in my snort. Good lord the character design in this show never fails to be fucking ridiculous.

It 's a man wearing a fuzzy crop top with the most ridiculous hairstyle I 've seen yet. 'You look super stupid, ' Luffy says, like an idiot. But I have to agree. It 's like ' the worst type of casual furry-wear.

'This is my hair! ' he shrieks, hunching forward on the huge fucking lion that is snarling in my face right now. 'Do you think you 're safe in that cage of yours? What about your vulnerable friend out here? '

I try to quietly and unnoticeably scoot off the cage to hide behind it. It doesn 't really work.

'You must not know about my terrifying skill! There 's no animal in the world who won 't obey me! ' He hops down off his lion mount, who 's name I think is Richie? He saunters right up to Chouchou and puts a hand out. 'Shake! '

Chouchou, like the little asshole he is, just bites him on the hand. He snatches that back with an undignified yelp and scoots back toward the lion.

'You 're just common thieves. ' Wow this guy moves on fast. One way to deal with embarrassment I guess. 'Tell me where Roronoa Zoro is and I 'll have no reason to kill you. '

'No! ' Luffy stubbornly yells.

Mohji 's face turns furious and he screams 'Kill them Richie! ' The big cat wastes no time in pouncing on the cage.

The cage I 'm currently sitting on.

Five things happen in rapid succession.

Luffy screams, 'ED MOVE! '

I attempt to fall off the back of the cage.

I get smacked by Richie so hard it feels like getting hit by a Honda Civic. Again.

The cage is destroyed and Luffy is freed.

I go flying.

I soar through the street, only coming to an abrupt stop as I slam into a building. After flying through an entire fucking alleyway. I don 't know if that was lucky as hell or done specifically to hurt me.

'ED! ' I hear Luffy cry out, then a loud slam as I assume Richie pounds him into a building as well.

My entire world is technicolor from the pain. My bones are fucking vibrating, my entire right side is lit up from the pain of skidding, and there 's a hot pain in my stomach. Why the fuck do anime characters always seem fine after getting slammed through buildings?! This fucking

hurts!

I can hear more talking and crashing from the direction I flew from, but it 's secondary to the Big Ouch my entire universe has shrunk down to.

I finally manage to crane my neck and get a look at whatever the hell is so wrong with my stomach.

Oh.

The gaping bloody gash might do it. I guess one of Richie 's claws caught me on my way out. Good fucking god

ow.

I hiss out a sharp breath as I try to manoeuvre into a better position. It 's taking every ounce of concentration to stop myself from screaming bloody murder. I should put pressure on the wound, that 's what you 're supposed to do right?

'

My every cell lights up

red.

The signals my body is sending my brain feel like they 're written in Archaic Latin.

Dude

, are stomach wounds supposed to hurt this fucking bad?!

Good fucking GOD that was a bad idea! I definitely might have let out a small scream with that brilliant move. The slippery slide of blood on my hands is making me a little nauseous.

Fuck fuck

fuck.

What kinda idiot gets cut open by a stupid fucking lion?! The thing was huge! Why the fuck didn 't I move? God almighty today has fucking

sucked.

'Ed! Ed can you hear me? ' I vaguely hear through the static in my ears. Is that Luffy? A red and yellow blob enters my blurry peripheral vision, before my Captain's worried face takes up my entire view.

'Are you ok? Are you bleeding? You went flying! ' he starts rambling. I reach up a hand and smear it across his face, a streak of red follows it.

'M 'fine, ' I slur out. 'S 'not that bad. Being dramatic. '

Because honestly it isn 't even that deep. I think. It 's kinda hard to think through the pain, but that 's probably just because I 'm not used to getting fucked up yet. As a pirate, shit like this is bound to happen all the time!

That 's not reassuring at all.

Luffy grabs onto my hand heedless of the blood coating it. 'Ed you don 't sound fine. What do I do? ' He actually sounds ' concerned? It doesn 't suit him.

I can make out orange and brown blobs running up near us. Nami 's voice filters through the miasma. 'Holy shit ' '

'Really, m 'fine, ' I mumble out again.

The mayor pulls Luffy 's face back a bit so he can get a look. 'That actually doesn 't seem too bad. Orange one, help me get her to my house. '

'Them. Not a girl, ' Luffy corrects, scooching back to let Nami closer while not letting go of my hand.

The mayor pauses for a second, before hooking his arms under my shoulders and motioning for Nami to grab my legs. 'Then let 's get them to my house. ' My hand slips out of Luffy 's as we start to move.

I look back at his pinched face over the mayor's shoulder. 'Fucken get em ' Capt 'n. I 'll be fine. ' His eyebrow furrows before his face hardens. His fist raises up to smear the blood across his cheek and he gives me a solemn nod.

I smirk at him. 'Being serious doesn 't suit you. Lighten up. ' I relish in the quick surprise that flashes across his face before we turn the corner.

' ' ' '

It only takes a couple minutes for the mayor, surprisingly adept at treating injuries, to give the wonderful news that I should be fine. 'You 'll probably be back to normal in the next couple days. Just keep the moving to a minimum for a few hours. '

The healing rate in this world is fucking fascinating. Wait, does that apply to me? I did notice the pain making a steady and surprisingly fast decline over the last few minutes '

Weird.

Anyways I 'm grateful for it. Back home this would have crippled me for weeks, maybe months, if not outright killing me. Here I 'm getting off Scot free with what will be a superficial scar and some wicked bruising up my right side.

The mayor passes me a glass of water while helping me sit up, and I 'm reminded that we should probably collect Zoro's stupid ass at some point.

I open my mouth to ask if they saw him when they ran away, but something interrupts me. Me and the mayor both whip our heads to the door as we hear Nami 's yelling filter through.

'You 're all the same! Maybe I should just kill you now, one less pirate in the world! ' This is gonna sound a bit assholish, but I kinda forgot about Nami 's traumatic hangups about pirates '

The mayor jumps up to race out the door, and I 'm left trying to stand up without ripping my stomach open without help. I 'd call it inconsiderate, but I really should

not

be moving right now.

By the time I make it to the door frame, pain lancing up my side and sweat on my brow, I can see the mayor holding a shocked Nami back. And my Captain, my stupid sentimental honourable Captain, saying a few words to the crying dog he 's just given the last of his treasure back.

Chouchou picks up the box and begins trotting away, stopping to bark something back at Luffy. He responds with a smile, 'thanks! Good luck to you too! ' Then the dog is off to wherever to do whatever.

Luffy turns back to Nami and the mayor, then spots me in the doorway and his face splits in a huge dazzling grin. He scrambles towards me yelling, 'Ed! Are you better now? Does it still hurt? I beat up the lion guy! One punch! '

He stops right in front of me, giving me a scrutinizing look over before he seems to find the best angle of attack to hug me from without jostling my wound.

'Yeah, yeah. Good job Luf. I 'm fine, I 'll be right as rain before you know it, ' I murmur, patting him on the back.

He just shoves his face into the crook of my neck and mumbles, 'don 't get stabbed again, dummy. ' I laugh as much as my stomach will let me. 'I 'm serious! Don 't get

stabbed! '

I manage to laugh a little harder before curling into him with a groan.

'Fuuuuuck,

yeah I don 't plan on it. This fucking

sucks! '

The mayor shakes a fist at me from where he 's stood with Nami, who has a conflicted look on her face. 'I told you to keep the moving to a minimum! Darn kids ' '

' ' ' '

'Sorry about earlier. I didn 't mean to yell at you, ' Nami apologizes, scuffing a toe on the ground. Luffy untangles himself from me enough that he 's only helping support me with an arm under my shoulders.

'It 's ok, you 've been under a lot of stress! ' Luffy smiles.

I wave the hand that isn 't holding onto him at her. 'Don 't worry about it, I yell at him all the time. ' Nami offers me a small smile.

The mayor suddenly explodes into a rage-filled rant. 'I 'm pathetic, Chouchou and this young 'un have fought so hard, yet I, the mayor, have done nothing but watch our town be obliterated! '

Nami rushes around to face the mayor to plead with him. 'Calm down, mayor! ' Luffy drags me after them so we 're standing in the middle of the street.

The mayor does not in fact calm down. He continues his impassioned rant about how this town was built by its people from the ground up. 'This town is a treasure to me and all the citizens! I refuse to let them terrorize it anymore! '

Then the row of houses directly beside us is decimated by a Buggy Ball induced explosion. The four of us are sent flying, my fall cushioned by Luffy imposing his rubber body between me and the ground.

'Sweet fuck! ' I yell, scrambling up, arm wrapped around my stomach because

fucken yowch.

Everyone is quick to jump to their feet around me

'They 'll destroy it all! ' the mayor despairs, looking on at his ruined house.

'Pirates ' ' Nami mumbles from beside me. Luffy looks on with an unreadable expression.

'Geez, I leave for 20 minutes. The hell happened? ' And fucking Zoro comes striding out of the blown up mess of smoke and rubble. He has a singular half empty glass of water in his hand and the bewildered face of a man who had no idea where he was a few minutes ago.

He takes a quick look around as he ambles up to us, scanning over my worse for wear form with a raised eyebrow. I shake my head in disbelief.

'Did ' did you actually come back to the right place with water? ' I ask, genuinely amazed he managed it.

'Oh. Yeah this is for you. ' He thrusts the cup in my direction. Who the hell did he steal this glass from?

I down the water in one shot.

'Ed got stabbed by a lion! ' Luffy announces.

I turn to shoot an incredulous glare at him. 'What 'd you tell him that for?! '

Zoro 's brow furrows. 'Did the lion have a knife? '

The glare turns to him. 'No you idiot! He used his damn claws! '

His brow furrows further. 'Like, attached to him? A real lion? Not a guy in a lion costume with knives? '

I stare at him, incredulous. 'Why is this so hard for you to grasp? '

'It might have been a guy in a very good costume ' ' Luffy mumbles, scratching his forehead.

I smack him upside the head. 'No it wasn't! Trust me, I have intimate proof! '

Nami mumbles behind us, 'what the hell is wrong with these guys? '

The mayor, complexly ignoring our idiocy, hunches in on himself and scrapes a hand against his armour. 'I refuse to let them get away with this! I won 't stand for it, I can 't let this scum destroy everything my townspeople worked for these past 40 years! ' He snaps up ramrod straight and pounds a fist into his chest. 'I am the mayor of this town! I will protect it and its inhabitants! I swear! '

He immediately tries to rush off to fight Buggy, but Nami latches onto him yelling, 'stop! It 's reckless! '

He just keeps fighting to run. 'There are some fights a man can 't run from! ' He turns to face us. 'Right?! '

Luffy just smiles his bright grin. 'That 's right! '

Nami glares at us. 'Don 't encourage him! It 's dangerous! '

The mayor rips out of Nami 's hold with tears in his eyes. 'I know it 's dangerous! ' He goes running down the street screaming, 'I 'm coming for you, Buggy the Clown! '

'The mayor was crying ' ' Nami mumbles.

'He was? I didn 't see anything, ' Luffy replies with a cheeky grin.

'Looks like the party is getting more exciting, ' Zoro adds. Luffy just laughs.

'How can you still laugh? ' Nami demands.

Luffy keeps his big smile in place as he states, 'don 't worry, I like that old man! I 'm not gonna let him die! ' Me and Zoro shake our heads with indulgent smiles.

Zoro starts walking, mumbling, 'In that case ' '

I tie my flannel around my waist and shrug. 'If that 's how it is. '

'You too? What about your wound?! ' Nami squawks at me.

I just smirk over at her. 'I 'm not gonna fistfight the clown. Just ' fire some stray shots into the crowd. ' She somehow looks even more flabbergasted.

Zoro ties up his bandanna. 'Who knew it just took someone spilling your guts for you to use 'em. '

I send him a playful glare. 'Can it, Listerine. '

'The hell is Listerine?! '

'Our destination is the Grand Line. We better go steal that chart back! ' Luffy declares, cracking his knuckles. Nami just watches the Captain in shock. He turns to her with his bright smile. 'Join our crew, Nami! '

Her shock dissipates into a frown. 'I 'll never be a pirate. ' She smirks and smacks her palm to Luffy 's outstretched hand. 'But I suppose we can team up, to achieve our common goal. '

I lean over to Zoro to whisper, 'she has no idea the hole she just dug herself. '

He nods sagely back. 'Not a clue. '

' ' ' '

When we arrive at the scene of the fight the mayor is being choked out by Buggy 's floating hand. Luffy runs forward to rip it off him. 'I 'm here to kick your ass, just like I promised to Buggy! '

Buggy struggles to retrieve his hand, Luffy huffs a laugh and lets it go. 'Strawhat ' ' Buggy grits out. The other three of us file in behind Luffy and the mayor, who 's hacking on the ground.

'How dare you! You can 't just waltz up to me like this! I 'm Captain Buggy! ' he screeches from the roof. I swear when he stomps his foot in emphasis there 's a comical squeak.

'Listen! I 'm only here for the chart and the treasure, then I 'm out of here! ' Nami points at us with a glare.

Me and Zoro exchange amused glances. 'Yup. Got it. '

'Get out of here, why did you follow me? You 're outsiders, leave this to me! ' the mayor rasps out, hunched over himself on the ground. 'This is my

fight! I will protect my town! '

I can see Luffy gearing up for a punch, and I 'm not about to have this entire town on our asses when this is over while I 'm sporting a stab wound. So I launch myself at my mayor praying it won 't reopen my gash.

I tackle the man to the ground screaming, 'I GOT HIM! BEAT UP THE CLOWN! ' Nami and Zoro make shocked noises behind me, but my eyes are locked on Luffy as he lowers his fist.

'Ok! You got it! ' he says with a wide smile.

'What do you think you 're doing?! ' the mayor yells under me, squirming and trying to escape.

'Fucken ' stay still! I will knock you out if I have to, but then I 'll have to explain this shit to your people and that 'll only end with us getting chased outta this bitch! Let my damn Captain take care of it! '

He tries to twist his head back to glare at me. 'No! Like I said this is

my fight!

Let me up! '

I just put more of my body weight on him. 'You ' '

I 'm cut off by Luffy screaming, 'BIG NOOOOSE! ' at the top of his lungs.

More strangled screaming comes from Buggy before he garbles out, 'flashily fire the Buggy Ball! '

Aw shit. Better hope Luffy can stop that thing, cause I 'm not moving anywhere soon. 'You gotta let me up now! He 's gonna shoot us! ' the mayor wails, still struggling.

I smack my forehead into the back of his head. 'Quit it! '

From my grounded angle I can see the cannon go off, and the Buggy Ball bearing towards us at breakneck speeds. Then Luffy imposes himself between it and us with a laugh. 'That won 't work! '

My entire view is taken up by Luffy blowing up to the size of a shed and flinging the cannon ball back at the screaming Buggy Pirates.

'What the fuck, ' Zoro deadpans.

'What the fuck? ' Nami whimpers.

'What the fuck ' ' the mayor wheezes.

'Fucken ' Ok, ' I sigh.

'Woohoo! I got some of them! ' Luffy cheers.

'What the hell is wrong with you?! ' Nami screeches from where she fell to her knees.

'You really know how to freak people out ' ' Zoro mutters.

I go back to ignoring that mess by flopping further onto the mayor with a murmur of, 'yaknow, for someone who deals quite poorly with high stress situations, I sure picked a stupid career path. '

The mayor smushes his face into the street with a wheeze. 'I hate to agree. '