Coby 's sailing ability makes up for something that just me and Luffy had been sorely lacking. Sailing ability. I 'm being very truthful when I say I 've only even been on boats maybe five times in my life. Former life. Unlife? Whatever.

On precisely none of those trips was I in charge of rowing, steering, navigating, or had any kind of responsibility whatsoever. The closest I 've gotten is kayaking, and I was very bad at that.

Apparently whatever the fuck me and Luffy were doing before was a 'mockery of boatmanship ' and 'entirely unbecoming of pirates ' but I much prefer the term Fucking Around and Finding Out.

So yeah, Coby in all his nautical glory managed to steer our happy asses to Shell Town with minimal issues.

I place a solemn hand on Coby 's shoulder. 'Yaknow what Coby, even if you never become some hero of the Marines, you 'll always be a hero to me. '

He just levels a blank stare at me. 'Was that actual sarcasm or is your tone just naturally that dry? '

That has no good response so I just hop out of our dinghy and start making my way onto the dock, looking over my shoulder to stare at Luffy, 'Food? ' I prompt. He hoops and hollers as he scrambles after me.

It only takes Luffy 30 seconds to get fed up with my pace before he latches onto my arm and starts tugging me in a direction I 'm sure his food-homing-radar has picked something up on. Coby and Luffy are chatting while I take in the scenery around us.

'Hey is that guy Zoro around here? '

I 'm forced back to reality (or whatever this bullshit is) by all of the people around us jumping back and cowering at the mention of the swordsman.

'Maybe avoid mentioning him around here ' ' Coby murmurs as we keep walking.

Luffy shrugs, grabbing my hand to drag me as I get distracted by some shiny looking trinkets. 'Let 's go to the Marine base then! '

'From what I 've heard the man in charge around here is named Captain Morgan ' ' Once again the townspeople around us recoil in fear. Wow, I knew this guy was an asshole but to invoke such a visceral reaction '

'Haha, this place is super weird! ' Luffy laughs as we reach the imposing gates of the Marine base. Luffy 's crazy ass immediately climbs up the wall shouting, 'hey there he is! '

Coby starts freaking out while I try to join Luffy up on the wall, only struggling a little bit. Sue me, I can 't climb walls.

'We could totally untie that guy. '

Even when I agree with him he sounds like a lunatic!

'No way! He would probably just kill us! ' Coby shrieks.

Luffy just smiles. 'Nah, I 'm super strong, ' he says nonchalantly. If nothing else he 's got the confidence '

'Hey, ' the man 's voice calls out to us from across the yard, 'get lost. You 're being an eyesore. ' And there he is. Crucified on a post, my saviour. If I call this a Jesus cosplay am I going to go to actual hell this time?

Coby falls from the wall in sheer shock, but I just look over his pose and muse, 'that cannot be comfortable on the legs, ' which gets a laugh out of Luffy, so I consider it a win even though the glare Zoro is sending our way intensifies significantly.

Then a ladder slams onto the wall beside our heads. A small girl climbs up it, shushing us on her way, and scuttles across the yard to Zoro 's tied up body.

Coby is still freaking out from where he 's scrambled back beside us, but me and Luffy are just staring at Zoro and this little girl's interaction.

He 's shooting down all her attempts to offer him the rice balls she 's made but I can almost see in his eyes just how much he wants the damn things. He 's been up there for like what, three weeks? Fucker must be

hungry.

Then Captain Morgan 's stupid crouton of a son comes sauntering onto the scene with a cocky grin and a call of, 'what do you think you 're doing in here? '

To be fair, I think Helmeppo is pretty cool after Garp gets his hands on him and beats him into shape. But right now good

god

do I want to sock him in the face.

His mean ass rolls up and snatches a rice ball out of the little girl's hand with a, 'don 't mind if I do! '

Honestly watching his face screw up as he realizes they were made with sugar instead of salt is almost worth listening to his posturing. He starts screaming and stomping the rice balls into the ground.

'Guess you didn 't see the notice! Anyone caught helping a criminal will be executed, signed Marine Captain Morgan! Seems even little girls fear my dad, ' he says snootily after he finishes hacking.

'He 's ' Captain Morgan 's son? ' Coby mumbles from beside me.

'What a dick, ' I grunt. Helmeppo then proves my point by ordering his man to toss the little girl over the wall, which he reluctantly does.

As her body goes flying past us, Luffy jumps up and snatches her out of the air, safely delivering her to the ground. While Coby 's fussing over her, Luffy starts making his way over the wall with me on his heels.

The Marines and Helmeppo have vacated by the time we amble across the yard.

'I hear you 're a bad guy. '

Roronoa Zoro, still crucified on a post, looks up at Monkey D. Luffy. 'You 're still here? ' he huffs.

They exchange a few words but I 'm just looking the man up and down.

'He probably won 't keep his word, you know. ' His sharp eyes dart over to me and I can 't help the involuntary shiver that runs down my spine. Good lord this guy is intense. 'You 're still here 'cause you 're a man of honour. He isn 't. ' Zoro scoffs but doesn 't say anything in response. I scrunch my nose. 'Ok, if that 's how you 're gonna be. '

I tug Luffy 's arm to prompt us into walking away, but Zoro interrupts. 'Wait! Before you leave, ' we turn back to him, ' 'can you pick that up for me? '

I gaze down at the ruined disgusting rice ball as Luffy scoops it up in his hands. 'It 's mostly mud, you sure? ' Luffy asks, making a face at the muck. Wow, finally found something

Luffy

won 't eat.

'Yes! Now hand it over! ' he barks back, mouth wide for the rice. Luffy just shrugs and shoves it in. We listen to him hack and cough through the sugary mess before he finally seems to settle. 'It was good. Thanks for the food. '

I just smile. 'I 'm sure she 'll appreciate that. See you later, Roronoa Zoro. '

With that, we cross the yard again and use the rope the girl left behind to climb back over the wall. And by that I mean Luffy climbs over it and I struggle much more than is strictly necessary before Luffy gets fed up and swings me over himself.

I can almost hear the smirk on Zoro 's face from behind us but hey, I never claimed to be smooth or athletic.

' ' ' '

Following the girl, Rika, as she introduces herself, we eventually arrive at the exterior of a restaurant. We slump down on its stoop and listen to her weave a tale about brave Pirate Hunter Zoro saving her from a rabid goddamn wolf Helmeppo 's psycho ass kept as a pet.

I nod seriously. 'Yup, seems like a nice guy. First Mate material for sure. ' Everyone shoots me looks of various levels of disbelief and I just shrug.

Then we hear Helmeppo 's shrill annoying voice come screeching out of the restaurant. When we peek our heads in he 's harassing the waitstaff and making a general nuisance of himself. The woman serving his table is slowly approaching, shaking hands clutched around a bottle of wine.

I put a hand on Luffy 's shoulder and pass to intercept the woman. I put my hand over hers on the bottle and shake my head, before turning to Helmeppo and his assortment of Marine pals.

'I 'm going to have to ask you to leave, ' I announce. The table goes quiet for a second as my request hangs in the air.

'Hah? ' The smarmy little prick smirks up at me. 'Do you any idea who my father is ' '

'The right to refuse service, ' I interrupt him. He looks almost shocked I was willing to cut him off. 'It 's a

labour law.

I figured as a Marines ' brat you 'd know that, but are you going to need me to spell it out for you? '

His face turns an interesting shade of purple as he jumps up from his seat and spits out, 'who the hell are you?! '

I just dip in a dramatic bow and smirk at him. 'E. D. Domino, detective. At the people's service. '

I 'd like it on record that I have no idea what I am doing.

Honestly I could give less of a shit about this restaurant or the people here, but disrespecting service workers just really

eats

at me, yaknow? And if nothing else I have Luffy to punch this asshole in the face if he gets too uppity with me.

And honestly, who can fault me if I have a flair for the theatrical? I 'm in another fucking universe right now! I get to indulge a little, right?

'Now you wily onion headed son of a bitch, are you going to leave or am I gonna have to ask again? '

This will be the first of many moments I wish I had a camera in this world, the indignant look on his face ' perfection.

'You wanna end up like Roronoa Zoro?! Huh?! I 'm gonna execute him tomorrow and make an example out of him for you! ' The smug look he adopts gets almost immediately punched off as Luffy comes in with a wild swing.

'I 've decided! ' he announces as Coby tries to hold him back from Helmeppo 's prone and howling form. 'I 'm gonna ask Zoro to join my crew! '

And then he 'll become First Mate and I 'll be off Scot free!

'And I 'm not gonna make him my First Mate! '

Goddamnit.

' ' ' '

'I 'm gonna go talk to Zoro now! ' Luffy calls to me and Coby as he jaunts off.

'Fucking ' Luffy! Wait up! ' I turn to Coby and his alarmed face, 'I 'll go get him, gimme a minute, ' then start jogging after his goofy ass.

I finally manage to catch up to him as he 's climbing over the Marine base walls. 'Running off without me to talk to weird swordsmen, what 's wrong with you? Take me with you when you 're gonna do fun stuff, ' I bitch as we walk across the yard.

Luffy gives a sunny smile and bumps his shoulder into mine. 'Shishishi, sure if that 's what you want! '

Zoro doesn 't seem to notice our approach, deep in thought, until we 're right in front of him. His eyes shoot open and latch onto Luffy, entire body tensing before he recognizes us and sags back down. 'You again? Do you have nothing better to do? ' he asks tiredly.

I shake my head. 'Nope. '

Luffy turns up his nose. 'I 'll untie you, but only if you promise to join my pirate crew! '

I am fucking amazed this approach worked on so many people.

'Hah? No way! I 'm not a damn criminal! ' Zoro spits out incredulously.

Eventually.

'C 'mon! What 's wrong with pirates? You 're already known as a vicious bounty hunter, ' Luffy whines.

Zoro glowers at us. 'People can say whatever they want. I 've never done anything I regret. I 'll make it through this challenge, then accomplish what I want. '

Luffy hums. 'Mmm, I don 't care. I 've already decided you 're gonna join me! '

Zoro 's eyes bug out of his head, then he turns to me with this look of 'what the hell ' plastered across his face. I give him a commiserating smile. 'Yeah, he 's always like this. '

Luffy just gives a proud smile and nods his head. 'I heard you 're pretty good with swords, s 'that true? ' he asks.

Zoro glances between us. 'Yeah, but that son of a bitch took my stuff. '

Luffy appears to think for a second. 'Ok! I 'll go get it for you! So if you want it back you gotta join my crew! Shishishi! '

Zoro makes some truly wonderful squawking noises and protests as Luffy runs off giggling to the base.

Zoro turns to me with the most bewildered expression. 'What the hell is wrong with him? '

I just shake my head and deadpan, 'I 've got no clue. I 'm gonna try to untie you now. ' While I start tugging at the ropes and looking for loose knots I can feel Zoro scrutinizing me. 'Dude, I know I 'm super hot but if you wanna keep staring I 'm gonna start charging you, ' I snark.

Zoro sputters. 'No! You damn weirdo! You know they 'll kill you for this? Besides I only have ten days of this shit left. '

I snort. 'Yeah right, they were gonna kill you tomorrow. ' His eyes widen and I give him a disappointed look. 'Oh don 't act so surprised. I told you he wasn 't a man of honour. ' Zoro stays quiet as I step back from the stupidly well tied ropes to dig my pen knife out of my pockets. Then there's a loud crash from the other side of the Marine base. I pause for a second then shrug. 'That was probably Luffy. '

Coby comes running across the yard at that point. 'Ed! I came to help! '

I sigh, flipping my knife open. 'Oh wonderful, you get his arms. I 'm gonna try to saw through this shit. '

'Seriously, just leave! ' Zoro yells again. I roll my eyes and keep trying to cut the rope with my tiny ass three inch blade.

'They would have killed you anyways! When Luffy heard he punched Helmeppo in the face. These Marines ' they really are honourless! ' Coby glares at the ropes he 's trying to untie. 'They 're after him now. He 's trying to save you, so I hope you 'll help him. '

Zoro stays silent.

'End of the line! For the crime of treason against me, I sentence you to death! ' the voice of Captain Morgan calls from across the yard. We all turn to look.

Haha. Fuck. I 'm starting to think me and Coby should get our ears checked, if huge groups of people can keep sneaking up on us like this.

That 's a lot of guns pointed at us. Morgan is ranting about some self important shit or other but I just turn back to the ropes with another roll of my eyes and keep hacking at them with my annoyingly dull knife. 'This is fucking ridiculous, ' I mutter under my breath.

'Fire! ' I hear yelling behind me, and turn to see Luffy land in front of us and catch all the bullets in his body before shooting them out.

'What the hell are you? ' Zoro breathes out.

Luffy just turns and grins. 'I 'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I 'm gonna be King of the Pirates! '

Zoro keeps sputtering. 'King of the ' are you goddamn crazy? '

I just laugh. 'He is. But he 's also dead serious, and he can do it too. '

Luffy throws his head back and laughs. 'Damn right! Thanks, First Mate! '

I turn to glare at the rubber idiot. 'No! Pick someone else dumbass! ' Luffy rolls his eyes at me and Zoro makes a confused noise.

Luffy shoves the three swords he carried down in Zoro 's face. 'I got you what I promised! I didn 't know which was yours so I grabbed 'em all! '

Zoro cranes his neck back to avoid a scabbard to the nose. 'They 're all mine, I use three sword style. '

Luffy 's smile widens. 'Hm, well if you fight now, you 're gonna become a criminal. So it 's either that or die here execution style! '

Zoro huffs. 'Whose son are you, the devils? Fine. If it 's die here or become a pirate, I 'll join you. '

Luffy starts whooping and cheering. 'That 's great Luffy, now help me with these piece of shit ropes! ' I grit out as I switch to the tiny scissors in the penknife.

'The hell is taking you so long? ' Zoro complains.

I glare up at him. 'This knife is very dull and the scissors are very small! Stop yelling at me, ingrate! ' Zoro growls at me, honest to god growls. 'I don 't have to take this from someone crucified like the second coming of Christ ' '

'I think I made the knots tighter? ' Luffy sheepishly laughs from my left. Both me and Zoro turn to glare at him.

The Marines start charging towards us with swords out and Zoro yells, 'just give me a damn sword! ' Coby is screaming and I 'm angrily shutting my knife.

Luffy tosses all three swords at Zoro 's face. Faster than I can follow, all the ropes slash to pieces and a clang sounds as Zoro blocks every attack.

Holy shit that was cool.

Zoro holds the Marines in a stalemate. 'I 'm officially a criminal with this. So I 'll be a pirate, that I promise. But I 'll say this now, the only thing I dedicate myself to is my ambition. I 'll be the world's greatest swordsman! If you ever get in the way of that you better accept responsibility, and apologize by splitting your own stomach! '

'World's greatest swordsman? Sounds great! Nothing less would do for the King of the Pirates crew! ' Luffy responds.

'The King of the Pirates should accept no less for a First Mate too, ' I mutter, looking pointedly at my stupid bitch of a Captain. He just scrunches his nose and sticks his tongue out at me. Real fucken mature.

'You better duck, ' he announces, then rears his foot back and whips it around, taking out a whole swath of soldiers.

'Seriously, what

are

you? ' Zoro asks through the hilt of his sword.

Luffy runs into the remaining crowd fist swinging. 'Shishishi, I 'm a rubber man! '

Zoro nearly spits out his sword. 'A fucking

what? '

I just shake my head at him. 'Devil Fruit, ' I say like an explanation. He squints at me with a face of 'that didn 't help at all ' as Luffy shoots past us to throw a punch at Morgan.

He starts beating the actual crap out of the axe-handed asshole, but I have to stop watching when I hear a click at the side of my head. I turn and stare down the barrel of Helmeppo 's gun. 'Ah. '

'Hold it Strawhat! Look over here! ' Helmeppo yells triumphantly.

Luffy continues to punch Morgan until Zoro calls his attention over. He pauses his beat down temporarily to look up at me. We make eye contact and I just offer a small smirk. He smiles back.

I turn back to Helmeppo, still smirking. 'Better make that shot count. Don 't miss, ' I taunt. His already shaking hand starts shaking even more at my apparent nonchalance. Which is a good thing, since I 'm freaking out so bad internally I might just cause myself a hernia.

Too bad he isn 't telling me to sing the Sofia The First theme song. I could crush that.

'Hear that ya idiot? Ed isn 't scared of you! ' Luffy laughs as he starts winding his fist up and taking a few steps forward.

'Stop moving! I swear I 'll shoot! ' Helmeppo shrieks.

Luffy does not, in fact, stop. Even as Morgan rears up behind him ready to lop his head off, he whips his arm forward to punch Helmeppo in his smug face. Again.

I see Zoro stop Morgan in his tracks as Helmeppo falls beside me. I snatch his falling pistol out of the air, only fumbling it a bit as I try to figure out if this damn thing has a safety and shoving it into my waistband.

I hear the Marine troops start cheering and celebrating as I trot up to the boys. 'Geez,

everyone

hated his ass, huh? '

'Guess so ' ' Zoro mumbles, then falls to the ground with a groan. 'Fuuuuck I 'm hungry! '

This dude '