Numb.

Only one word could come to mind, and it was "numb." You stared down at the letter you had received that morning, your hands clutching it desperately against your chest. The thin line of paper offered little relief of the news it carried.

They say that the death of a loved one doesn't always hit you right away. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, days, or even weeks. You weren't sure what you were feeling at the moment, the only thing that came to mind was numbness as you could barely feel down to the tips of your fingers. The only thing you could feel was your rapid heartbeat, and your pulse almost pounding in your head reminding you of every cruel moment that passed as reality finally sunk in.

You bawled the paper into your hand, almost ripping it in the process, and slammed it down on the table in front of you. You just needed some air, fresh air would only do you good when thinking about something like this. You inhaled a sharp breath before forcing yourself out the front door of the small cottage you shared with the former First Division Commander of the Whitebeard Pirates. The sun was cruelly beating down on you, a harsh reminder of how the world keeps spinning despite the empty feelings inside your heart.

There was a small part of you that felt guilty for letting yourself be so torn about this when you knew Marco was still suffering from the events of two years ago. Helping him through the loss of not only his captain, but Ace as well was absolute hell for the both of you. His grieving often kept him awake at nights, and more often than not you would wake to find him bawling softly in the other room. You never minded staying awake with him and losing sleep to comfort the man, the feeling of helplessness was what pegged you with guilt to this day.

Lately, Marco was doing much better. He kept up with the newspapers, and you often found him looking hurriedly through the ones that featured the Straw Hats, and his face would light up anytime he saw the success of Monkey D. Luffy and his crew. You wondered if a part of him felt the need to watch over the younger brother because of the friendship he held with Ace, but you never asked. If there was something that still made Marco happy, even if it wasn't you, you didn't feel the need to complain.

You took a deep breath as you sat down on the log in front of the house. You folded your hands neatly into your lap and stared out at the village ahead. Saying you were shocked to learn about Whitebeard's devotion to the small place would be a bit of an understatement. Marco treasured it himself as Whitebeard did, and when he eventually found himself drifting towards it he only needed to ask for you to follow him.

In the distance you saw two children playing together and it brought a smile to your face. The two were chasing each other around playing Pirates and Navy again, a popular game among the children of the village, and every village it seemed. It reminded you of when you would play with your childhood friend in your hometown. You were always so adamant about being on the side of the Navy, it made you chuckle to think you ended up falling in love with such an infamous pirate, childhood you would have had a heart attack if she had known.

A single drop of water hit your hand and you slowly raised your hand to your wet cheeks. You hadn't even noticed when you began crying, but once you had your face scrunched up in agony and you let out a wail despite your best efforts at remaining calm. You leaned forward hugging your knees in an extremely uncomfortable position. It finally seemed to hit you, all at once, that your childhood friend had died.

You wailed again, crying as every emotion hit you at once. The numbness and shock had finally dissipated leaving only anger and sadness in their place. The two emotions fought for dominance inside you as you struggled to retain any semblance of self control as you felt yourself begin to struggle for air. You thought you might be hyperventilating, but with your teeth clenching your bottom lip so tightly the only thing you felt was emotional turmoil and the slight physical pain the action brought.

You don't know when Marco appeared by your side, but once you noticed him he was already wrapping you in his arms as he held you tightly against him. You wailed into his chest as your hands desperately reached out to grab any part of the man. They landed on the front of his shirt and you bunched it up between your fists as he attempted to help you steady your breathing.

Just as your emotions were struggling to come out, Marco was struggling between being a doctor and attempting to comfort you as a lover. The doctor in him won out as he tried speaking to you in a hushed manner attempting to get your breathing under control before you managed to make yourself pass out. You looked up at him, his concern showing clearly in his eyes, and began wailing again. He gently grabbed the back of your head and pushed it against his chest as he held you tightly with his other arm.

You barely heard his hushed tone as he whispered, "I'm here, I'm here." He repeated the phrase softly, over and over until it seemed to finally sink in. You took a deep breath, then another, and felt the need to scream finally leave you. Marco's arm around your body tensed and you wondered briefly which action specifically had caused the reaction in the man.

Once your breathing was relatively back to normal Marco gently scooped you up in his arms and carried you back inside. Your arms wrapped around his neck out of habit, and he just whispered softly to you as he managed to open the door with only his right hand and foot. He closed it gently behind him and carried you back to your shared bedroom.

"It's okay, I'm right here." He whispered, and you began wailing again. Here you were, having to be babied by Marco when you knew he still needed you, knew he still wasn't over the death of his friends. "This time I'll be the one to take care of you, just let it all out. I'm right here." He set you down gently on the bed, and when you were settled down comfortably he slowly climbed on top of you and pressed you tightly against his body once again.

You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed like that, but Marco only got up once the entire time. He went to get you a glass of water, having to all but force it down your throat, and then when he knew you wouldn't dehydrate he pulled you tightly against him once again and stayed there until the moon slowly began to rise into the night sky.

__________

You blink slowly, rubbing your irritated eyes and look around the room. You only just now realized you must have fallen asleep, and at some point Marco must have gotten up to get you another glass of water. You looked around the room and the doctor was nowhere to be found. You had only a few seconds before swallowing the lump in your throat and feeling how desperately you needed water.

As you gulped down the still cold glass of water Marco made his way back into the room. He had his glasses on, and it looked like he was deep in thought as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm glad to see you're awake. I was worried when you suddenly passed out, but it looks like it was just exhaustion." He held his hand against your forehead, most likely checking for a fever, and held up another glass of water in his other hand. You watched as he set it on the table next to your now empty one, and then he slowly retracted his hand from your forehead.

You were surprised by your sudden action when you grabbed his hand and pulled it back towards you.

"Sorry ' I ' I ' I just ' Marco," you weren't sure what you were even trying to say to the man, but it seemed he decided to take pity on you by leaning forward and gently kissing you. You weren't sure what you wanted at the moment, the only thing you could really think about was his lips against your own.

You moved your hand to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you. When you began to slowly fall back onto the bed he happily followed. Marco was the first to pull away from the kiss, but now the upper half of his body leaned over yours, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked suddenly, his voice somehow startling you.

Afraid of your own voice failing you just gently shook your head.

You tugged on the front of his shirt and his eyes glanced down at your lips briefly before looking down towards your chest. "I'm not sure this is the best idea right now."

"I just need to be close to you." Your voice sounded hoarse from all the crying, but you were at least able to say one sentence after hours of crying, and Marco couldn't find it in himself to ever refuse you, even now.

He leaned down again and kissed you delicately, as if you might break if he wasn't careful. Your hands made their way to his chest as you pushed against the opening in his shirt. He pulled away long enough to unbutton it, and you watched as he threw the shirt onto the ground while climbing on top of you.

"Tell me immediately if you need to stop, alright?" You nodded in response to him and he began to carefully undress you. It almost made you want to cry again from the gentle treatment you were receiving from him. You weren't sure how you were ever lucky enough to find someone like him, but in this moment all you could think about was how grateful you were to be able to spend your life with him.

There wasn't a lot of foreplay, neither of you were in the mood for something like that, but he did make sure to at least loosen you up for a few minutes before. Your legs were spread wide as he pumped three fingers slowly in and out of you. The entire time you were kissing him desperately, doing anything you could to keep him as close to you as physically possible.

He slowly, so slowly, pulled his fingers out, and you watched as he brought them to his mouth to suck on them. It made a wave of heat pass through your entire body as you watched with hooded eyes. After a soft whimper from you he finally removed the rest of his clothes and crawled back between your legs. He looked down at you before giving a soft nod, you felt your cheeks heat up and turned your head to look anywhere but directly at him. There was a soft chuckle from the man above you before you felt his hard dick pressing against your entrance.

You could only gasp as he pushed in with little warning. There was a low grunt from the man above you as he slid in easily, bottoming out in one fluid thrust. He panted softly as he looked down to check on you. Even in such intimate moments as these, he was still trying to put you before his own needs, and it made you begin to cry once again.

Marco leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against your temple. He cradled your head in his hands as he left feather light kisses all over your face.

"I'm right here," you weren't sure how many times he had repeated that phrase, but hearing it now held a weight that the others hadn't. Marco was right here with you, and you were right here with him.

He began to thrust slowly, watching your face for any minor sign of discomfort. When you only moaned softly and grabbed onto his bicep he sped up his thrusts. He wasn't going fast, the need to just be inside you, close to you, outweighing the need for any kind of mind numbing pleasure.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and his thrust became uneven from the sudden action. He took a deep breath to try and settle his nerves and he began a steady pace once again.

Marco leaned down to suck on your neck as he thrusted deep inside of you. The slow and sensual rhythm he had maintained was almost overwhelming to your emotionally exhausted self. You found yourself unable to hold back tears as you tried to just focus on the man above you, inside you, a part of you. You never felt closer to him than in these moments, and you clawed desperately at him attempting to somehow draw him even closer.

Marco let you move and thrash however you needed as he thrust gently inside your body. His eyes never left your face as he watched it contort in pleasure while trying to deal with the emotions raging inside of you. When he felt it became too much for you he slowly reached his hand down between your legs and began to massage your clit with two of his fingers.

You let out a surprised cry at the sudden action, and your back arched off the bed as you felt a familiar sensation creep up on you. A few short minutes later and you felt your orgasm sweep through you, amplified by the harsh emotions inside of you and the fact that Marco hadn't taken his eyes off of you for a second.

Marco let out a grunt and stilled inside of you when he felt your walls pulsing around him. He shuddered softly as he released inside of you. He mumbles a sorry as he leans his head against yours.

He's in no hurry to move, and you're in no hurry to make him. He stays inside of you even as he begins to go limp, but you just keep your legs wrapped around his hips and kiss him softly.

"Marco," you beg softly, "Marco, please. I need more."

He kissed you back slowly, more emotions and sensuality than the need to find any kind of pleasure from the action.

"Of course, I'm right here." You wrapped your arms around his neck and slowly lowered your legs from his hips.

He pulled out only to immediately thrust his fingers back inside you. He fingered you slowly, spreading them wide inside of you as you moaned and writhed underneath him.

"Marco, I love you." You managed to say the words before your second orgasm hit you. He gave another soft kiss to your forehead as he helped ride you through it.

"I love you too. Don't worry, I'm all yours. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here." He kissed you softly, fingering you once again after you calmed down from your second orgasm. You moan against him and gently thrust your lower half against his hand.

"You're right here," you repeat in a whisper. "You're right here."