Now that Damian had nothing else to do, nothing to focus on, no press conference to prepare for, no school work to complete, no friends to distract him, he was paralysed by crushing emptiness. What could he do to pass the time? He literally couldn 't think, and at the same time, thinking was too painful, because it meant being in his own head, and he would rather be anywhere else.

In an effort to try to stop his shaking, Damian retreated back to his bedroom, and lay on his bed. Boredom was an especially unenviable position, because then he would start to

remember

things, and nobody wanted that.

Things like: the sticky feeling of Anya 's blood on his hands, the metallic smell that stuck to his clothes, the shock of being pushed to the ground, the shame and guilt of learning about their shared past, the role she played in saving him from it, and the role she played in saving him

again