Loid was a light sleeper.

Not that it was a real surprise ' it came with the job. His life was constantly on the line, the shadows in the corner of his room dancing with perpetual threats. It was a pure need for survival, to be able to rouse from sleep at the first suspicious noise, at the lightest brush of a foot touching the floor, and to manage to assess his situation no matter where he was.

Which was why he remained perfectly still despite startling awake in the middle of the night, eyes flinging open for a split second, before immediately closing as if they 'd never been open to begin with (-

don 't let them know you 're awake; let them think they still have the advantage over you-

), chest heaving slowly as he forced his breathing to remain deep and regular.

His heart was pounding wildly in his ribcage, mind whirling with the remnants of an already fading nightmare ' he forced both of them quiet, and instead kept a sharp ear out, listening for any foreign noise or suspicious shift of air. It took a few seconds, but he heard it.

Faint, muffled sniffing.

Oh, Anya

, he thought achingly, fingers uncurling from the gun he 'd grasped automatically under his pillow and clicking the safety back on, before he raised from his bed. Loid padded softly along the halls, keeping his step especially feather-clad as he passed Yor 's room, and knocked quietly on the child 's room.

A surprised hiccup rang from the other side of the door, followed by a litany of footsteps '

boom boom boom boom

, along with a skid of claws against wood ' and then the door creaked open, revealing a disheveled Anya. Even in the ambient darkness, there was no difficulty in noticing her wobbling lips, trembling firsts and tears-ridden cheeks. Bond whined softly behind her.

'Can I come in? ' he whispered, and he waited for her to nod and open the door entirely before stepping in her room and sitting on her bed. Her bedside lamp was turned on, projecting a soft golden glow across the room.

The pink-haired girl didn 't move from her spot ' she closed the door and watched him settle down, wordlessly, as if waiting for a sign.

Wordlessly, he opened his arms, and offered her a smile.

Boom boom boom boom.

She crashed into his chest with a sob, and buried her face in his chest. His arms curled around her easily, cradling her even closer, one hand unconsciously coming to cup the back of her head while the other rubbed soothing circles on her back as she shook to the rhythm of hiccups and wails. Bond came to a stop at the foot of the bed and rested his head on Loid 's knee, looking as distressed as his little mistress.

He made sure to appear as relaxed as humanly possible, and consciously relaxed his already tense muscles. Having an idea of the cause of her distress didn 't make it easier to hear, but there was no use in making her even more anxious than she already was. 'Was it the same nightmare? ' he asked quietly. 'With that doctor? '

She nodded against his shirt. 'It hurt, ' she whispered, brokenly, before crying anew.

Anya was a bright, joyous child : the very embodiment of childish innocence and enthusiasm. She possessed a heart bigger than the earth, and when she grew up she would move

mountains

with the sheer force of her generosity. Yet it was painfully obvious that whatever she 'd already lived through this short, short life of hers had taken root into the back of her mind, to come and haunt her in the deepest hours of the night. Loid could catch glimpses of it sometimes ' it showed in the way she grew uneasy around tall, towering people, in the way she 'd grown pale and quiet that one time he 'd shown himself too severe with her homework (he 'd harshly promised himself to never,

ever

, make her feel that way again), but it was especially noticeable whenever doctors were mentioned.

While he could suppose most children were rationally scared around them, the memory of violent shakes rattling her whole body and tiny fists clutching his hand as if clinging for dear life ' all of this, at the mere sight of a white coat and a stethoscope ' had left a bad taste in his mouth.

That unpleasant feeling had morphed into blood-curdling horror when he 'd first heard her crying out in the middle of the night, and he 'd make the impulsive move of barreling into her room, gun raised and already assessing the potential danger ' which, unfortunately, was one of the invisible kind. Strangely enough, instead of his rash mistake scaring Anya even further, she 'd been utterly fascinated by his dramatic entrance, and tears had then melted into giggles.

That night, he 'd been quite glad for her passionate love of spy-inspired fiction. Tonight, he was even more grateful for Bond, who 'd stayed at her side the entire time, attempting to offer comfort with his soft fur and gentle nudges.

He wished he could just take her pain and fears away in a snap of his fingers, that he could promise her she 'd sleep soundly every night ' no one, especially not a child, deserved to be haunted this way.

He wished he knew

how to help

.

His attention was so entirely divided between his absent musings and the warm, small body in his arms that he barely reacted when the mattress dipped lightly on his left. He turned his head to watch Yor settle next to him, studying Anya worriedly, the soft glow of the bedside lamp causing her eyes to shine in unveiled concern; she reached out to pet the child 's hair softly, and her fingers brushed minutely against Loid 's hand with each motion. She was dressed in pale pink pajamas, her long dark hair flowing freely to the small of her back ' a picture of quiet intimacy that made his throat feel dryer than the desert.

The small, paranoid and mission-oriented part of Loid reminded him weakly that the ease with which she 'd reached his side unnoticed should have been alarming, and yet...

It wasn 't.

She glanced at him, then, and mouthed silently: 'Is she okay? '

He shook her head no. His arms were still shaking from sobs that weren 't his, his shirt growing damp with tears he hadn 't shed. But he would stay until she felt better, and would make sure she felt safe enough in her own home.

Anya 's trembling eventually calmed down, her full-bodied crying fading to quiet, tired sniffling. She moved away from Loid 's chest and glanced up at him, eyes flickering between Yor and him with the unspoken guilt of having brought them to her room in the middle of the night.

One hand raising from her back, the other untangling from her ruffled hair, Loid gently cupped the child 's small face, using the pads of his thumbs to erase the glinting memories of tears on her cheeks. His heart lurched as Anya leant into his touch with a small hiccup.

'Why didn 't you come to us? ' he asked her. His words were barely louder than a murmur, but it echoed strongly in the quiet room. 'You shouldn 't stay on your own after a nightmare. '

'I wasn 't a-alone, ' the child argued, voice wavering. 'Bond was with m-me. '

The dog let out a small

woof

of agreement. Next to him, Yor smiled, reaching out to pet his head with radiant affection, hand sliding down to scratch his chin. The gentle giant closed its eyes in bliss.

'Good boy, ' she cooed. Bond wagged his tail at the praise.

Loid felt himself smile. 'He is. '

They stayed silent for a while, neither adult willing to push, until Anya finally added: 'I didn 't want to wake Papa or Mama up again. You were

tired

. '

He had been. He still was. And he was willing to be for longer, if that meant she could have a peaceful night.

(

It was all for the sake of the mission, of course.

)

'Anya. I will never mind if you come and wake me up after a nightmare. '

'Neither will I, ' Yor chirped kindly, shifting even closer. 'So if that happens again, come and tell us, alright? We 'll chase the nightmares away together. '

Anya nodded, relief flooding her features, and she relaxed even further. 'You too, Papa, ' she mumbled against his chest, and his blood ran cold. 'You don 't have to be scared of the bad dreams. '

He forced himself not to react.

Oh, this was bad.

Really

bad. Because if Anya somehow

knew

, then maybe Yor did too ' and that meant he might have talked or screamed during his sleep, without even being aware of it. Most of his dreams held little to no logical trails of thought: most of them were filled with dust that invaded his lungs and irritated his throat and eyes, blood that stained his hands and spread unendingly on the ground ' but if he 'd talked, if he 'd spilled secrets or revealed details about the mission '

But now was not the time to think about this; Anya, ever the frighteningly perceptive child, was looking at him worriedly, so he pushed the panic down, swallowed it with practiced ease, and offered her what he hoped to be a reassuring glance. She 'd talked quietly, and the words had been muffled by his clothes ' considering that Yor hadn 't shown any reaction to her words, there was a chance she hadn 't heard them, and he hoped dearly that was the case.

Loid Forger

couldn 't afford to mess up.

'I don 't want to go back to sleep, ' the small girl added, and he gratefully took advantage of the reprieve to steer the conversation into that much safer direction.

'You 'll be too tired tomorrow, if you don 't sleep more, ' he reasoned, ignoring the wild pounding in his chest. After a pause, he added: 'Besides, even Bondman would go back to bed. '

It hit the intended target. 'You really think so? ' she asked in a tiny voice, mind easily distracted by the mention of her favorite character.

Yor smiled. 'He 's right. How would he be able to be so clever and strong without a good night of sleep? '

'Yes, ' Anya hummed under her breath. 'He needs sleep or ' ' Her eyes flickered to Loid. 'that will compromise the mission. '

A shiver ran down his spine just as she yawned. This favorite show of her had made her adopt a vocabulary that sometimes hit just

a little too close

for his comfort.

'Can we ' '

Pulled away from his musings, he blinked at her. The tell-tale biting of her lips betrayed her hesitation, as her eyes darted between Yor and him.

'Can we hug? All together? '

He found himself saying yes before his mind could catch up with the implications of her request ' and next to him, Yor nodded with a smile, apparently not minding the prospect of more intimate contact.

He'd always been wary of physical touch ' proximity meant danger, and yet as always Anya was the exception; when she would initiate contact with him, whether it was to take his hand, wrap herself around his leg, or fling herself at him for a hug when he was laying down, his defenses always seemed to fall instead of raising like they should have, years of training and honed survival instinct melting to nothingness in the bright face of a pink-haired five year-old.

This time again wasn 't any different, as she settled more comfortably against his chest while making sure his arm was still curled around her, reaching towards Yor and taking her hand to bring her even closer. Bond whined, refusing to feel left out, and pressed himself as close as he could to the edge of the bed, dropping his head heavily on both of Loid and Yor 's brushing knees.

Yor chuckled, using her free hand to brush against the dog 's white fur, before she rested her head comfortably against his shoulder.

His mind went blank.

So blank, in fact, that for the minutes that followed he was only able to remain aware of the friendly warmth of three bodies pressed against him, the weight of their touch undeniable yet unthreatening, and the symphony of soft and regular breathings that he found himself matching unconsciously.

It was only when Yor spoke to Anya that he managed to bring himself back into reality.

'Would you like a lullaby? ' she offered. 'It 's been a while, but ' I used to sing one to my brother to help him fall asleep, when we were children. '

Anya, unsurprisingly, accepted with charming eagerness. The edges of fear had all but melted away from the emerald shine of her eyes, the weight of nightmares no longing haunting her expression ' she finally was back to the enthusiastic, attaching child that rhythmed his days through chirps about peanuts, spies and annoying classmates, despite the yawns that now escaped her mouth every few minutes or so.

Without even a shift away from his shoulder, Yor began to sing. It was just a hum, at first, as if she was slowly easing back into the memory of her lullaby, and the echoes of her voice reverberated through his entire body in pleasant vibrations.

The song itself was something slow, simple but warm. It washed onto his soul, wrapped around him like swirls of sunlight. Anya sighed contentedly, eyes already closing and whispering something about a pretty voice, and he couldn 't have agreed more. The tune was foreign to his ears, but it lulled him in, and he found himself closing his eyes as well ' and for a few minutes that seemed to stretch into infinity, he was pulled back into that strange reality where there was nothing but Yor 's melodious, comforting hum, a tiny fist grasping his thumb, and the prospect of

belonging there

growing more tangible with each passing heartbeat.

It took him a while to register that the singing had stopped, and he opened his eyes with what almost felt like reluctance. Anya was sound asleep, a slight smile on her lips, snoring softly in rhythm with Bond 's slow breathing.

Yor straightened, and moved away from him. Loid got the distinct feeling that the proximity they had shared during this night would remain obligingly unspoken about, and he had no idea whether to feel immensely relieved or disappointed at the prospect.

Just what was going on with him?

'You 're so good with her, ' Yor whispered wistfully, watching Anya 's content expression with a nearly unbearable fondness.

He sent her a surprised glance, raising an eyebrow slightly. 'You 're the one who sang her to sleep. ' A short, considering pause lulled in the air. 'Thank you for this. This was a beautiful lullaby. '

She shrugged, as if uncomfortable with his gratitude. 'It 's nothing, really. I used to do this all the time, when my brother had trouble falling asleep. But I- I haven 't known Anya for that long, no matter how much I love her. I wish I knew how to help her, comfort her like you did. You 're a great father. '

The words all but punched the air out of his lungs, his chest tight and heavy at once. He felt like - no, he

was

an impostor, his entire self built on lies and deceptions. He had no right to call himself a father, despite his ever-surprising fondness for Anya, and he felt a surge of disgust towards himself ' because, really, he had no rights to Yor 's admiration, not when she was clearly more deserving of the title of

parent

than he would ever be.

But he also happened to know better than anyone how Yor felt, and what she needed to hear.

So instead, he forced out: 'And I think, Yor, that you make a wonderful mother. You should give yourself more credit. Anya 's lucky to have you. '

Her eyes widened, and he turned away from her, because he knew with a soul-deep certainty that whatever he would find in her gaze would break the last, miserable crumbles of his resolve to remain

strictly professional.

'Let 's put Anya back to bed and go back to sleep, ' he choked out, immensely grateful for the need to whisper; there was no doubt his voice would have cracked, had he talked at a normal volume.

They moved slowly, careful not to jostle the sleeping child too much while the dog obediently moved to settle at the foot of the bed frame, and they both heaved a small sigh of relief after she was once more tucked comfortably under the sheets.

'Goodnight, Yor, ' he told her once they were back in the hall, stopping at her door. 'I 'm sorry that you were woken up. And ' thank you. '

The smile she offered him was shy but genuine. It made his stomach twist pleasantly. 'It 's no trouble. I 'm glad I was here, actually. Goodnight, Loid. '

She moved to open her door but then paused, turned half-way back to him, expression more hesitant.

'And, ' she added, almost too quietly to hear, 'if you have nightmares, too, you 're welcome to talk about them with us. Don 't fight against them alone. '

She was gone before he was even able to process the words.

Anya 's words hadn 't gone as unnoticed as he 'd hoped.

His mind whirled too violently for him to find sleep, after that. It refused to find peace in slumber, and instead decided to replay the night 's events, again and again ' and as frustrating as this kind of spiraling could sometimes be, Loid found that this specific one wasn 't quite as unpleasant.

When sleep

did

find him, hours later, it was blissfully deep and dreamless.

Morning came too soon for his taste ' and he was startled awake not by his alarm or a suspicious noise, but by an overexcited Anya jumping into his bed and flopping on his stomach heavily, whining that she was hungry.

It was only as he prepared her breakfast that he realized he hadn 't heard any of the things that would usually have woken him up immediately; not the door 's discreet creaking that would occur when it was opened even with the utmost care, nor the child 's energetic footsteps, nor the sound of Bond 's wagging tail hitting the walls repeatedly as he followed her. It wasn 't like Anya was known for being sneaky, either, which made it all the more unsettling.

An even stranger explanation started pushing at the back of his mind ' something ridiculous about a growing, subconscious trust towards certain individuals taking over his deeply-rooted survival instinct ' so he refused to think about it any longer and instead blamed it all on exhaustion.

As Anya devoured her meal with ferocious appetite, Yor pushed a freshly brewed mug of coffee into his hands. 'It 's like last night never happened, ' she chuckled easily. 'She 's as energetic as ever. What about you? Did you sleep well? '

He smiled at the knowing edge of her voice, and took a sip of his coffee. It tasted evenly, and the warmth that spread through his fingers even more so.

'I did. '