Jinshi is relaxing on a lounging seat, in a charming summer garden alongside a lake. His sprained ankle is elevated, and he has been forbidden from moving more than minimally even though it doesn 't hurt anymore.

It 's a beautiful day:

The sky is seemingly bluer than normal, filled with the fluffiest, most perfect clouds. A cool breeze blows over the lake, cooling them with fresh mountain air.

This summer retreat was a wedding gift from the emperor. Quite a nice gift, and he is honeymooning, having a little chat by the lake.

Just one problem.

'You know the honeymoon is usually just for the newly married couple, right? ' he asks.

Lakan sips his juice as he sits in the lounger next to him. ' 'Is that so? '

'Yes. This is extremely rude and inappropriate. My wife is going to be displeased. '

'I let you have two days. It 's not like I 'm interrupting anything. What kind of man spends his honeymoon laid up like a cripple? '

'First of all, it 's almost healed, but she 's making me let it rest another day. And second of all, do you remember that time Maomao 's life was in danger, and I went to war for her. Where were you? At camp with a backache like a cripple. I stabbed people with my sword. '

Lakan, who is no longer wearing the back brace Basen put him in, throws his nose up in the air. 'I don 't remember that. '

'Hopefully, you remember your way home soon. And then go there. '

'I 'll consider it if you call me 'Honorable Father in Law. ' 'Honorable Father ' if it suits you. '

Jinshi answers, 'I have a list of things that I am permitted to call you and 'honorable ' and 'father ' are not on it. '

Lakan says, 'Well, what is? '

The newlywed husband digs into his pocket for a folded paper and begins to read, 'Old Fart, Fart, Geezer, Brothel Crawler, Monocled Idiot, Idiot, Imbecile, Old Bastard, Stud Horse, Smelly Old Goat ' '

Even though he has only covered half the list, the honeymoon-crashing father in law interrupts and says, 'My precious petunia has so many terms of endearment for her papa. You can tell she cares very much. '

Someone else comes out from inside the house, and Jinshi twists his head.

'Rikuson? You crashed my honeymoon with

Rikuson

? Of all the people living on earth, you brought the one that has kissed Maomao 's hand? '

Rikuson has a tray of snacks, and while he never had a particularly serious interest in Maomao, he has enjoyed being able to trigger absolutely irrational reactions from the now former prince.

To Rikuson, the way this man complains about that one night where he kissed Maomao 's hand sounds

exactly

like how Lakan used to complain incessantly about how the former prince touched her shoulder four times during a game of go once. There is a sameness about these two men when it comes to Maomao. They would both be so offended if anyone mentioned it.

Also, he kind of likes to piss off the former Moon Prince. It just adds something to his day that wouldn 't be there otherwise.

Seeing the prince 's foot put up, he holds out a tray of dumplings and says, 'My condolences about your ankle, Prime Minister. It 's a shame the bride was unable to dance at her wedding. I thought about offering since we had such a good time before. '

'I 'm not taking the bait this time. Or your dumpling. '

Jinshi pouts so hard Rikuson thinks he looks like he has a sour orange in his mouth, and the attendant heads back inside to talk with the household attendants.

Noticeably absent: the bride.

The bride is missing.

Lakan has also noticed the lack of Maomao. He 's been sitting with his son in law for almost two hours, and there 's been no appearance of the bride nor any mention of her whereabouts.

'Where is my sweet petunia? Sleeping in? '

Jinshi says, 'She went wandering early this morning and found a giant dead deer with rare mushrooms growing all around it and in the soil. '

Lakan bursts out laughing. 'Your wife left you on your honeymoon for a dead deer?! ' Covering his mouth with his sleeve, he whispers, 'How unfortunate. I guess the rumors are true. '

'What rumors? '

'I heard someone overheard the Empress Dowager saying you have problems with your manhood. '

Jinshi doesn 't have erectile issues at all and is formidable in matters of sex, at least in his opinion. And if he did, why would he tell his mother 'or the person he thinks is his mother? That would just be such a weird conversation.

'There is absolutely nothing wrong with my body. If I did have a problem, you would be the last person I would discuss it with. I 'd rather tell the dead deer. '

'Well, is Maomao pregnant yet? '

'Why would you even ask? '

Lakan says, 'Well, on my very first try, I succeeded. '

'Grand Commandant, did that work out well for you? '

'I made

Maomao

. First try. So yes, it did. I was like a painter creating the greatest masterwork of all time the first and only time he ever picked up a paintbrush. You 're the one she picked, so hope your floppy ugly brush works at least well enough that the dead deer bores her less, ' his father in law answers.

Jinshi really loves Maomao, but the fact she comes packaged with this man as her father is really a pain in the ass. He just showed up at their honeymoon, insulted his penis, disrespected him, brought Rikuson there so Rikuson could also annoy him, implied he had erectile dysfunction, and said his wife enjoyed the company of a dead animal more than him.

That was just the last five minutes. They 've been sitting together for almost two hours.

His soul is crumbling on this beautiful day while Maomao is out foraging for mushrooms.

When she reappears with a basket absolutely filled with the bountiful offerings of the lakeside woodlands, expecting to find her husband resting peacefully with his book where she left him, she is greeted by a sight more unpleasant to her than the dead deer.

She 's wearing a simple light pink country-style dress, with a little apron to protect her from digging around in the dirt, and her hair is pinned up. Considering how much Jinshi loves her in this color, she expects to see him quite happy that she has returned.

Instead, he looks like he 's going to turn to dust and blow away in the wind, because that 's the kind of presence Lakan actually has.

Maomao is beyond irked to find that Lakan has appeared on her honeymoon, which is supposed to be a break from all the craziness at the palace. For some of it to follow her was simply unacceptable.

'Husband, isn 't it your job to protect me? '

Jinshi answers, 'Wife, you said I had to sit in this chair until you came back and that I couldn 't get up for any reason except to use the restroom. '

Wife narrows her eyes. 'Yes. Removing this man would be considered eliminating waste. It 's fine for him to go in the toilet. Although I suppose we could try to grow mushrooms on him like people do with dead logs? There are lots of fungi that enjoy growing on garbage piles. '

Lakan thinks his precious petunia is being a little rude, but then again, he did drop in on her honeymoon. Really, he was just passing along the main road from the capitol on his way to a fortification for an inspection, and the estate wasn 't too far out of the way.

Husband answers, 'Darling wife, this is your parent. '

'That has nothing to do with me. You think I picked this guy? '

Jinshi answers, 'I suppose that 's right. You picked me though. '

Maomao reaches into her basket, and while she 's turned away, the former prince sticks his tongue out at Lakan.

The young bride holds out hands filled with strange-looking fungi. 'I also picked some top grade rare mushrooms today! '

Father? Yuck.

Husband? Yay.

Red-Stripe Blister Cap Mushrooms? YIPEEEEEEEEEE!

Maomao is just so happy, overflowing with excitement and goodwill, although she is still annoyed by Lakan 's presence. 'How about if you can eat one of these, you can stay? '

Lakan asks, 'Will you also eat one with me, dear daughter? '

'No, I 'm currently abstaining from deadly poisons. '

A nervous laugh, and the Grand Commandant stands because he 's heard the message loud and clear that it is time for him to leave. 'You 're such a good little wife. I 'll still have my eye on this rascal to make sure he takes care of you. '

'Unnecessary. '

After shooing her annoying parent off the property with his attendant, Maomao is still ecstatic about her finds.

Jinshi thinks she is just

so

cute when she 's this excited, and right now, the cause of that excitement is an assortment of moss, plants, and fungus she brought from the forest near the lake.

Maomao drags him inside and sits at the table and dissects mushrooms, crushes wild herbs, chattering constantly about what they can do.

He picks up a mushroom he 's never seen before and asks, 'Meal, medicine, or murder? '

'It depends on how it 's prepared. It becomes more toxic as it gets hotter, so it can be eaten raw. Cooked a little, it can have mild laxative effects, which can be medicinal. Cooked a lot, it causes symptoms very similar to dysentery and even be deadly. '

'That sounds so unpleasant. '

'Yes. '

Maomao holds up a yellow shelf-like mushroom. 'Chicken of the Forest. Delicious. '

'What was the proximity of this mushroom to the animal carcass? '

'Why do you ask? '

'Maomao. '

'Different part of the forest. Unrelated to the dead deer. Sheesh. You need to be more adventurous, ' she says.

'Being adventurous about eating fungus? Perhaps I would hallucinate being eaten by the clouds or perhaps I would die from 'symptoms similar to dysentery. ' '

She smiles at him. 'Don 't worry. I 'll cure you if you ever become ill. Or if you hurt yourself again. Since you 're my husband, I think you 're basically my responsibility now. '

'I 'll take care of you too, my dearest wife. '

Of course, they 've been taking care of each other dutifully for years already, but even Maomao can 't fight the urge to talk sweet and call this man her husband. She 's not really someone who dreamed this sort of life, but it happened to her, and it 's all so lovely. There 's an ownership component to monogamous marriages that pleases her in some secretly dark sort of way, because he is obviously very popular among women.

Maomao owns this man, body and soul. No one else. He also owns her, but it 's not like men are falling all over themselves for her 'at least in her mind. On the rare occasions that any man looks at her, it makes him irrationally jealous, and he stays mad about it in same cases for years.

Secretly, she suspects that if she had as many men admiring her as her husband has female admirers, Jinshi would actually probably just die.

That would be inconvenient for her, because she 's glad she found a man who cherishes her peculiarities.

The table is spread with all sorts of strange things, and he 's happy to listen to her explain each and every one of them. She thinks that he 's probably inadvertently probably learned a lot about various ingredients, and suspects that if he ever really needed to do so, he could probably kill someone with poison.

Jinshi says, 'My ankle really feels fine today. '

'That 's because I 've made you rest it. '

'Okay, but I 'd be really happy if my wife turned her attention from my ankle to a different bone in my body. One that has been quite swollen and sensitive these past few days. '

Maomao answers, 'The amphibian longs for my affections? '

'Yes. Frogs are not meant to be dry for so long. Besides, your blood is going to come soon, right? Between my ankle and your need to 'bleed or whatever it is that you 're going to do, we need to make the most of our time, ' he says.

'Bleed, or whatever it is you 're going to do? '

Amazing, Maomao decides, that any children were born into the imperial harem when it was being managed by this man. Surely, as a part of his scheme to help his brother-father have more heirs, he learned how babies were made. She thinks about asking but decides it doesn 't matter because his role in their babymaking efforts is so easy in the first place. There 's no reason to cloud his mind with facts and science when she needs so little from him.

He is willing and capable of completing the task of filling her with his seed. In fact, he wants to do it right now.

'You won 't overdo it with your ankle? '

'Maomao, please. '

Maomao considers this proposition, then goes to their room for one of the special black honey candies.

When she returns, she unwraps it and says, 'Open up. '

Jinshi opens his mouth, and she places it on his tongue. Of course, this moment was always coming, since he brought the black honey home to the capitol with the hopes that it might be used to help others, and happily presented it to his love in front of Luomen like some sort of deranged pervert.

He really thought she was going to use it to save lives.

It tingles on the tongue, and he finds the sweet and sour taste surprisingly pleasant.

While she puts away her bounty for now, he sucks on his candy and watches her with growing intensity.

'I will have a bath now, ' she announces.

Maomao insists on being freshly bathed whenever they touch, and as she spent the morning wandering through the woods, she 's a bit sweaty and finds this makes her unpresentable. Jinshi likes the smell of her and thinks she smells more Maomao and less soap after a few hours, but she 's not hearing that sort of explanation.

He 's been sitting in a chair all morning, so he 's still pristine.

Once she is presentable, she heads to the bedroom but finds no husband there.

Odd.

All around the main rooms, back downstairs?

No husband.

Jinshi stalks her all through the house while she looks for him, like a wolf stalking a little rabbit. She seems very unaware of his presence as she moves about, and he is no longer surprised that she is prone to being kidnapped. Where is her self-awareness? Her attention to her surroundings? Her instincts? Does she simply not experience that weird feeling that she is being watched?

She 's practically begging to be snatched and carried off somewhere, so that 's what he does.

From Maomao 's perspective, Jinshi appears out of nowhere even though he has been behind her the entire time. He grabs her from behind and lifts her off the floor despite her struggles. Because he 's normally so gentle, Maomao is somehow always surprised at exactly how big and powerful his body actually is, and how much he loves to use it to just carry her around.

After a stalking game that wasn 't as gratifying as expected because the victim did not ever realize she was being hunted, he carries his prize back to the bedroom. Is he a successful predator? Is she terrible prey? They really are the most perfectly matched people in all the world as far as he 's concerned.

'You have terrible survival instincts. '

'I knew you were there! '

'You 're such a cute little liar. You know what liars get? '

A raging erection is pressing into her back, and her body responds to this by saying 'yes, please! ' One thing she has learned about herself recently is that her body enjoys getting fucked and doesn 't need a lot of input from her brain. The amphibian has announced itself, and her body begins preparations for its arrival.

Maomao says, 'Well, 'liars get frogged, ' seems like an outrageous and inappropriate punishment for lying. Both inefficient and very perverted. Where would you get so many frogs, and would they just work full time punishing liars? Most men could punish maybe two liars per day. You 're not an imperial prince anymore. I don 't think you just get to make up laws like that anymore. Thank goodness. '

Jinshi carries her to the bedroom with her feet still dangling over the floor, like someone carrying a misbehaving cat inside, and holds her with one arm while he closes and locks the door.

He whispers in her ear, 'You

do

realize I 'm more powerful than I was before, right? As Prime Minister, I can absolutely make a law just for you. Maomao 's law. Bad kitty gets

fucked

. But I don 't need a law to do that, do I? I can fuck you right now, and I 'm going to fuck you right now. Are you ready to get fucked,

Wife

? '

Maomao gets the chills from the feeling of his breath and his rather menacing tone. 'Am I ready to do what? I don 't think you made your intentions clear enough. '

He bites her ear, pulling at it as punishment, and then while she was expecting to be thrown on the bed, she is surprised when he very gently lets her feet come to rest on the floor.

When she turns to face him, his pupils are dilated like an animal about to pounce, a strange, and somewhat hungry look chiseled onto his handsome face. He 's very clearly in a severely impaired state that just motivates him to relieve the need she has created, both with her presence and then also with her 'medicine. '

Jinshi loves her so much that he 's just so torn between wanting to put her head through the headboard and also treating her like she 's the most delicate and soft and precious thing there has ever been in all the world.

She is his

wife

, the mother of the children they haven 't met yet. His first and only love. His Maomao. His soulmate, his partner, his best friend. The woman who saved his life, and then filled it with joy.

Maomao places her hand on his cheek, brushing her index finger over the scar on his cheek. 'What are you thinking about? '

'How I want to do such terrible things to you because you are so very precious to me. I 'm a man with one flower in my garden, and I want to protect it with every drop of blood in my body. Yet I also want to pluck it and devour all the petals like some sort of madman. '

It 's quite a beautiful thing to say, but he doesn 't realize how poetic it is because his brain isn 't getting a lot of blood at the moment.

Maomao says, 'If I 'm a flower, maybe I want my petals to be handled harshly. Forced open. To feel your lips and teeth on them. '

Whelp.

That 's all the encouragement Dear Husband needs, and onto the bed she goes.

Even though he claims to love her in sweet little country dresses, he certainly seems to hate them when he 's trying to remove hers, to the point that she hears fabric rip. This is the kind of wild, rich indulgence only a wealthy person would do. A man with a reasonable mind would never tear a new dress. She will fuss at him about this later, perhaps poking him with a needle to get her point across as she mends the garment.

But for now, it is her turned to be poked.

Jinshi finds her glistening and wet, eager for him, and he is more than happy to give her what she wants.

Maomao bites her bottom lip, because there 's brief discomfort when he enters her due to his size, but it 's best kind of pain. Feeling like she 's being split open by the Imperial Amphibian is

such

a good kind of ouch. She loves every form of it: the feeling that he 's too big when he first enters, the how stretched tissue seems to burn as he thrusts, a dull pressure when he is at his deepest and she feels like she might really break.

Her mind is completely depraved when it comes to her husband and his frog.

A younger version of herself would not understand at all exactly how sex-crazed she actually is for this man.

Why did it take them so long for them to start doing this?

Oh, it was her.

Oops.

He pushes himself all the way inside, and her toes curl at being so full, a cry of pleasure escaping from her lips as he pauses to suck on her neck.

'N-No marks. '

'Marks! Everywhere. I 'm going to paint your skin in love bites and also 'regular bites. '

When he lightly touches one of her breasts, she slaps his hand away.

'Too hard. '

'I barely touched it. '

'Well touch it less. That hurt. '

He tries again, and she gives him a look, and he just decides maybe they 're so tender he just shouldn 't touch them. She enjoys certain aspects of rough play, but she clearly doesn 't enjoy that, so he is careful not to bump her breasts to hard as he fucks her, trying to control his pace.

Jinshi loves all her little sounds: her gasps, her sighs, her little mewish moans, the way her fingernails dig into his shoulders and back when she says his name.

Maomao finds his sounds to be hot but also, he growls and grunts to the point that he really just sounds like some sort of horny animal that has traveled an unbelievable distance through frozen mountains to find a mate and is finally getting to do the mating. He always touches her like he is dying to do so, and she kind of loves how desperate he remains.

He thrusts into her particularly hard, earning a little scream, and then grabs her legs and puts them over his shoulders.

One of Maomao 's secret powers is that her legs are bizarrely flexible and he can do basically anything that he wants with them, so after railing her with her legs over his shoulders, he simply holds her open on the bed, resting his weight on his hands as he grasps her legs.

When she gets close, he leans down and says, 'Does kitty want to cum? '

She bites her lip and he rolls his hips into her slowly, teasing her.

'P-Please ' '

'I 'll let you cum on one condition. '

'Anything, ' she hisses.

'I want to grow a beard. '

It 's like someone let all of the sex out of the room. The idea of bearded Jinshi is so unsexy and so unserious to her, although he really seems to be into it.

Jinshi sees her mood shatter and frowns. 'You hate it that much? '

'Yes. '

'Okay, but, I made a bet with the emperor. '

'Are we just going to have a conversation about your family while your frog is inside of me? And it 's going to stay hard like that? '

'It 's so hard right now, I think it might stay that way forever. Which was your idea. Also, if I take it out, it 'll get cold. '

Maomao sits up on her elbows and asks, 'What is your favorite feature of my body? '

'Your butt. I like your butt. '

'Okay. Now imagine it 'covered in hair. So much hair that it needs to be combed. Just positively hairy. A hairy butt. What would that do for you? ' she asks.

Jinshi answers, 'That 's not a fair comparison. It is not normal for a woman 's rear to be covered in hair. I would accept you with a hairy butt. You truly underestimate the intensity of my longing. I 'd even shave it for you, because I love you like that. But the emperor made fun of me and said I can 't grow a beard, and I need you to care about my feelings too. '

Maomao wonders if one of the consequences of him being a little high is that he 's also a bit silly in addition to be very horny. She wasn 't able to find out from Gyokuyou what affect the black honey had on the emperor, and probably, Gaoshun has also had his experience with it.

'I 'm really horny, and I want a beard, ' he complains.

'Why did you make a bet that you could grow a beard when you can 't? '

'Because I thought you would help me. But you 're being mean to me instead. I 'll find someone else. And who knows what they 'll give me. Probably the wrong thing, the wrong amounts ' '

Maomao puts her hand over his mouth. 'Letting someone else besides me do medical experiments on you is worse in my eyes than cheating. I 'd rather you go out and get a mistress. '

'Then you 'll help me? '

'Fine! But as soon as you win your stupid bet, I 'm coming after you with a razor and you will not resist. '

Maomao isn 't sure what 's more pathetic; the fact that he thought he could talk her into agreeing to this insane scheme by turning her on enough, or the fact that the idea of him letting some other apothecary use him in experiments causes her to feel such visceral jealousy.

How dare he even tempt her?

Jinshi has no idea how this is even physically possible, but somehow his very tiny wife flips him on the bed and gets on top and proceeds to begin bouncing on his cock while he stares up in frightened confusion at her display of might.

She digs her nails into his chest and drags them, leaving angry little cat scratches. 'Listen,

Zuigetsu

, you 're my little lab rat. '

Marriage truly is a land of discovery, and Jinshi feels quite pleased at the moment. Not only has he practically won his bet against the emperor as he 's certain Maomao will succeed, but he 's also found a way to reliably annoy her. He loves how cute she is when she 's irritated, but it 's actually a little difficult to aggravate her. The idea he can put her in a state where she gains superstrength and wants to scratch over the possibility he would ever do experiments with someone else is so simple and obvious. He 's not sure why he didn 't think of it before now.

Maomao on top doesn 't work particularly well because of how tall his cock is in relation to her height and how much left she actually needs to achieve for it to be worthwhile, but he enjoys watching her take her aggression out on his cock.

Truly, everything has worked out in his favor.

After a while, he flips her back onto the bed and picks up where he left off before he interrupted their little session.

Maomao can 't really tell the impact the black honey has on him until he explodes inside of her and remains hard and keeps going like nothing happened, ordering her to her hands and knees so he can continue to fuck her.

'Are you just going to blast me from behind like some sort of cannon? '

'I 've got something hot to shoot deep into you, give me a few minutes and I 'll be ready to fire again, ' he teases.

She laughs. 'We 're so bad at talking sexy. '

'Speak for yourself, ' he says, very lightly smacking her rear.

Jinshi 's heart has been pounding in his ears since about five minutes after he started sucking on the candy. He feels light, a bit woozy, a bit silly, and so driven by a need to fuck that he feels confused at how even pumping her full of cum does not give him even a moment of relief.

He feels increasingly like an animal, desperate to finally be satisfied, but still his cock craves more and more and more.

Dizzy, heart-pounding, he pulls Maomao so her ass is right at the edge of the bed so he can thrust from a standing position as pushing off the floor gives him more power, and Maomao fists her hands in the sheets.

What sort of monster has she created?

Maomao is pleased with the results of her choice to drug her husband. Pleased several times and counting as her husband continues his good work on her, in fact. Her body is simple and does not require any manipulation of bells or whistles. She really just wants as much frog as possible, and she is getting frog, frog, and more frog.

His eyes remain dilated, and she can see from the vein pulsing in his neck that his heart is absolutely pounding. He 's like a racehorse running the most important race of his life, while high on drugs to make him run faster.

What a perfect man!

Jinshi, meanwhile, has a different thought:

Perhaps I will die from sex?

All things considered, everyone has to die, and as far as causes of death are concerned, what man doesn 't want to die this way? He can 't think of any alternatives that would be better.

It would be oddly poetic for them to wait so long to have sex and then once they do it, he drops dead because his body can 't take it.

There were still things that he wanted to do with his life, and besides that, if he dies, other men would try to comfort Maomao and keep her from being lonely without him. He imagines Rikuson being

so supportive

after his funeral and trying to wiggle his way into the life of a poor young widow.

His brain is hardly functional, but he still has enough energy just to have this one single thought that if he dies, Rikuson will steal her from his ghost.

He hopes if that happens, she kills him too, except instead of using the black honey, maybe those mushrooms that make people shit themselves to death.

(Rikuson is currently minding his own business.)

Maomao sees that he seems quite angry about something, and correctly assumes he 's having some nonsense thought. She almost wants to ask what he 's mad about, but she 's afraid he 'll say something stupid about growing a beard and she doesn 't want that sort of interruption.

The squeaking of the bed gets louder, and then a crack, and then the bed becomes lopsided and Maomao nearly slides off the edge.

Jinshi, having broken the bed because he was so passionately enraged about something insane his own brain made up, looks around and shoves a table and a sofa out of the way to make room for the mattress. Then he drags it, with Maomao still on top, off and flat onto the floor before climbing on with her.

Maomao taps on his nose. 'Bad dog. '

He bites her fingertip and presses her down. 'You 're mine.

Mine.

My wife. '

Yes, whatever is going on inside of his head, it is stupid

, she decides.

Jinshi is so dizzy and so turned on that he wonders, when people die during sex, what actually kills them. Heart attack? Stroke? Based on how hard his heart is thumping, he thinks either of those things is possible. Perhaps he will die from a heart attack. Or a stroke. A fuck stroke. Is that a thing? Did he make it up?

Maomao starts to get a little nervous about his stamina, but just when she thinks she might have to tell him she can 't take anymore, he climaxes again, but this time, the black honey has released him from its torment, and he is able to wind down normally, flopping over onto the sweaty mattress.

And then he is gone.

Sound asleep. Nearly instantly.

Maomao looks around the room, at the furniture overturned and pushed out of place to make room for the mattress, the filthy, sweat and cum-soiled sheets, the broken bed. It looks like some sort of wild animal trashed the room.

Also, it smells like fuck in a way that no place has ever smelled like fuck before. She decides she 'll open a window just to let the pungent smell of horny man out of the room. Maomao believes that semen, while valuable, is offensive to four out of the five senses. It 's gross to look at, sticky to the touch, it tastes bad, and it smells atrocious. If it made a sound, she 's sure it would be horrible.

And yet, the idea of being so full of it makes her so very happy. Sexuality is such an odd and state to exist in.

After she lets that sweet lake breeze in, she lays down on the mattress and takes a little nap with her husband until dinner time, when a servant brings their dinner to the door.

Jinshi feels so tired when he wakes up. He has aches and soreness from exertion and feels like he came so hard and so much earlier that his soul exited his body as semen and now he 's just an empty shell, barely animated.

But thirsty.

'Water ' ' he croaks, like he 's just crawled through the desert.

Maomao discovers her entire crotch feels like it 's on fire from the abuse that she brought on herself and enjoyed thoroughly. She thinks maybe they get a little carried away with sex and don 't have whatever it is that normal people are doing, because she is once again barely able to walk.

Maomao manages to get the table back upright and pushes furniture back into place while Jinshi sits on the mattress, covering nothing, drinking water directly out of a pitcher like he 's dying.

When she puts the food tray down and calls for him, he seems like he can barely stand, and when he does, his legs feel like they 're made from rubber.

'Maybe after dinner, round two? ' she asks, teasingly.

Her husband sweats at the thought. 'M-Monster ' '

'Just kidding. That was amazing. '

'I think I was going to die from a fuck stroke, but okay. '

'What 's a fuck stroke? '

'You were about to find out. '

He feels so weak he can barely eat, and Maomao is just glowing, lit with the joy of having multiple orgasms without the risk of stroke.

The prince says, 'I 'll ask if the attendants can prepare a different room. '

'You can 't tell them we broke the bed. They 're going to assume it happened during sex. '

'It

did

happen during sex. '

'Well. Maybe we could fix it ourselves. '

Maomao doesn 't really know a lot about carpentry, and she knows the prince doesn 't have any practical skills at all, but it 's still wildly embarrassing to have to admit they fucked so much the bed broke.

Jinshi sits there on the floor next to the table, totally naked, his frog just hanging free and limp, and picks at his food before asking, 'If I died, would you marry again? '

Maomao shrugs. 'Statistically, that is the likely outcome. Building relationships is a hassle, but marriage provides many benefits, such as safety and financial security. If I died, would you remarry? '

'No, I would also die. '

'You 're very dramatic sometimes. I can never decide if it 's cute. '

After dinner, they manage to have their baths and move to a different room, but Jinshi seems like all the vitality has left him. He 's so tired, almost traumatized, leading Maomao to believe the dosage of black honey in the candies might be too high.

Maomao is left wondering how the emperor and Gyokuyou fared, and then she remembers that Gaoshun 's wife has ten black candies in her possession. Suiren has around that many as well.

She feels like she kind of owed the emperor, so she doesn 't feel bad for kind of poisoning him a little bit, but poor Gaoshun! She can 't imagine that very proper and polite man being driven to have sex until there 's no strength left in his body, and he is reduced to a puddle like Jinshi.

The next day, they mostly sleep.

Jinshi is still drained like he is recovering from an actual illness, and Maomao also feels exhausted from her efforts.

But on the next day when Jinshi has recovered, he and his wife start honeymooning in earnest, now that his ankle has improved. They go for walks in the forest, he teaches her how to swim even though like all cats she hates water, they visit the local village, they do some sightseeing, and of course, they stay up making love, although she doesn 't give him anymore black honey candy and he doesn 't break anymore furniture.

Maomao is kind of annoyed that her period was going to land at the end of her two week honeymoon, but as luck would have it, it never shows up at all, and the newlyweds are left to enjoy themselves with a very big question mark following them everywhere they go.