Gyokuyou waits until the emperor steps out to laugh uncontrollably, because what on earth is even going on? She 's certain Maomao isn 't actually pregnant for many reasons, the main one being is that Maomao herself did not say she was pregnant. Gyokuyou assumes her breasts are growing because she 's drinking some weird medicine that she whipped up that no one knows about yet.

May the gods help the poor girls in the Inner Court if Maomao invents a breast-growing serum. The emperor would be so pleased if such an absurd thing happened, and Maomao could become the wealthiest woman in all the land. Maomao is a strange sort of genius like that, always on the cusp of something, always mysterious, and yet always unpredictable.

Once Gyokuyou asked Maomao what she was thinking about because she seemed really pensive, and Maomao looked her dead in the eyes and said, 'Pork dumplings, ' offering no other explanation or detail and said little else for the rest of the day.

Gyokuyou adores Maomao, but she also thinks because she knows her that there 's just no way the emperor is correct. He did not ask directly, although in his own mind, he thinks her confirmation is implied by her participation in the conversation.

Gyokuyou knows exactly what Maomao was doing, because she knows Maomao will just let Prince Yue be wrong rather than trying to correct his actions.

The men in this family '

The empress wonders whether she should simply tell her husband that he is likely wrong. Despite being the emperor, he actually isn 't so stiff or unreasonable that he would want anyone to stay silent if they knew he was mistaken. He appreciates respectful guidance, and she could provide that to him.

On the other hand, she could remain silent.

The emperor already told Lakan that Maomao was pregnant and didn 't get to say anything else because the Grand Commandant ripped a door off its hinges because he was too beside himself to open it properly (it wasn 't even closed). Then he proceeded to storm off in some sort of fit that concerned the emperor.

Maomao was one of the emperor 's absolute favorite people in all of the world, and she was on his mind often, not only for her relationship with the prince, but because he genuinely found her intellect and disposition to be delightful. It 's something the two brothers share, as far as Gyokuyou is concerned.

The emperor is also reluctant to let his younger brother move on from their family despite his wishes.

Lakan is meanwhile wholly unwilling to accept Maomao 's love for the prince and has been known to speak of this matter as if the prince harasses the young medical officer without cause or encouragement.

Maomao becoming pregnant without being bound to the prince as a concubine or wife would be a matter of disgrace and humiliation, and even if Lakan doesn 't approve of the relationship, if he believes the pregnancy is real, he will be forced to accept that the best thing is to create a path for them to make their relationship official.

Gyokuyou doesn 't believe anyone involved in this situation would truly want to solve this imaginary situation by abortion or any other outcome that might harm Maomao. As usual, the men who are involved in these events are typically safe; the prince 's reputation is unlikely to be bothered no matter how it turns out. That 's just how it is.

Everyone is going to move to protect Maomao because Maomao is precious.

She decides to say nothing, in hopes that the emperor and Lakan will set aside differences and work to create a solution to this problem that allows everyone to move forward with their lives. Since she is the reason that the prince holds himself back, she hopes that this small contribution on her part will allow him to find the happiness and freedom that he desires.

Also, she thinks the situation is going to devolve into something hilariously bizarre in the end.

The emperor returns from the restroom and climbs back into bed, twisting some of her lovely red hair between his fingers.

'Tell me something about you that I don 't know, ' he whispers.

MAOMAO ISN 'T PREGNANT, YOU GIANT DOOFUS

, she thinks, but does not speak.

Gyokuyou says, 'What do you want to know? '

She touches his face gently, and he looks to the table by her bed, where a few books are stacked. She quite likes reading, mostly novels, but sometimes he sees her giggling while she reads a humorous book as well.

'What 's your favorite kind of book? '

Empress Gyokuyou smiles and strokes his face. 'I really enjoy humor. There 's a kind of storytelling called an 'idiot plot. ' Basically, it 's a story that is only a story because everyone in it is foolish about some matter, and they comically stumble through some situation that would be easily addressed if any of them understood what was going on. '

The emperor says, 'I 've never heard of anything like that before. This sort of story is amusing? '

'It 's my favorite, ' she answers with a little laugh.

'You 're such a giggly girl tonight. '

'I 'm in a good mood, ' Gyokuyou answers.

The emperor is such a strange man, but she has grown to love him so very much. She hopes that Maomao can soon know the joy of being married to a handsome but caring and highly respectable idiot, that way they can have tea and talk about their husbands together as sisters in law. Is it too much to ask?

When morning comes, the emperor orders Lakan to report to him again.

Lakan is sour-faced as he joins the emperor.

He really sort of wants to fight the emperor, but he looks back to see who is looking after the emperor today, but of course he can 't tell. 'Who are you there, by the door? '

Basen answers, 'Basen, Grand Commandant. '

Lakan does not know Basen 's face, but he knows he 's an inhuman monster, capable of incredibly feats of strength. He 's a rather square-brained brute who would break all of Lakan 's bones if he took a swing at the emperor.

Perhaps he 'll behave.

Basen wasn 't with the emperor the prior night as the emperor sent him home early, and the emperor doesn 't freely discuss matters with him as he does with Gaoshun, so he has no idea what 's going on.

If Gaoshun was there as he normally was, he would have simply gone to Maomao and asked for clarity before the emperor spoke to Lakan, because Gaoshun is most excellent at his job. And while Gaoshun might not have ever heard the phrase 'Idiot Plot, ' he knows when one is spinning to life right under his nose and quietly takes care of it before it can get out of hand.

Gaoshun has difficulty passing on to his son the knowledge that the people who hold virtually all the power in Li are a bit of a hazard to themselves and suffer from a very specific and recognizable sort of defect, and that the most important thing he can ever learn is how to protect these people from their own minds.

But Basen has a square brain, as previously mentioned. He 's not stupid, but he 's not mature or experienced enough to realize extremely powerful people suffer from cognitive impairment because they are rarely criticized or denied and this leads to situations like this: two of the most powerful men in the country mad at each other about something that isn 't even true.

Lakan plops down on a chair and crosses his arms. 'Emperor. '

'Grand Commandant. Let us pick up where we started off last night. '

'Are you going to tell lies about my precious, pure, virtuous, innocent daughter to me, her papa? '

Emperor Yang takes a long, deep, slow breath. 'Basen, this is a sensitive matter. Could you step out for a bit? '

'Of course. '

In the hallway, it 's easier to daydream about his wife and baby without a couple of old farts bitching at each other about whatever they 're mad about. Sometimes it 's better not to know.

Once the door closes, the emperor says, 'Maomao is dear to the imperial family. All of us have a particular softness in our heart for her. Especially the prince. '

Actually,

the emperor thinks, if what the prince had for Maomao was a particular softness and not a particular hardness, they wouldn 't be having this meeting 'except they would, because the Idiot Plot cannot be stopped once it has been ordained by the fates, except by Gaoshun, who is far away.

The real problem is that the ratio of Idiots to Gaoshuns is just all wrong.

Lakan throws his nose in the air. 'She isn 't pregnant. '

'She is. '

'It 's impossible. Papa hasn 't told her about the birds and the bees yet. '

The emperor says, 'Lakan, I 'm really a little concerned that you might be a bit out of touch with reality. You think Maomao, who was raised by a brothel, can 't be having sex, because you haven 't told her what sex is? '

'Well, I 'm her papa. '

(To whom it may concern: Maomao taught the emperor 's concubines how to wash their assholes out so the emperor could have anal sex with them, but the emperor will not mention this as he thinks Lakan might actually die.)

Maybe he really is delusional?

The emperor doesn 't think that the path to getting Lakan to acknowledge the pregnancy is trying to force him to understand that Maomao is like a walking encyclopedia of forbidden delights and sexual health information.

Instead, he says, 'Lakan, maybe you should just 'see her. We won 't directly mention the pregnancy in order to not disgrace her. '

'Fine. You 'll see my pure little petunia is untainted by that wicked heathen despite his attempts to corrupt her unwavering purity. '

(Maomao also taught the imperial concubines how to get a cucumber all the way down the hatch without gagging, but the emperor isn 't going to say that either.)

The emperor calls Basen, and orders him to fetch Maomao.

Since the emperor already ordered her to only work in the afternoons, she 's spent much of the morning working on another feast that arrived at her door that morning. Lobster for breakfast? The emperor was sending her such extravagant food, and why? No one knows, except the emperor. A mistake, surely, but she 's not going to turn good food away.

Her belly is slightly distended with discomfort from over-indulging two meals in a row, and when Basen comes for her, she gets ready quickly and follows him to meet the emperor.

Basen knows the Grand Commandant is in the room, but he knows a few things about Maomao and one of those things is that she makes scary faces if someone mentions Lakan. He just doesn 't want to see Scary Maomao, so he doesn 't tell her. That can be someone else 's problem.

Does Basen notice that Maomao 's appearance has changed? Even though her hair style, weight, and breasts are noticeably different?

No. He is aware something is different, but he has no idea what it is, and he doesn 't care. The only woman Basen cares to look at is Lishu and his Squareness refuses to allot any more of its processing ability to considering what other women look like.

When he delivers Maomao to the tearoom where the emperor is sitting with Lakan, she feels like she was tricked, because she was having such a good morning. She slept in, ate lobster until her stomach literally could not contain any more, and had four orgasms while she pondered the size and girth of the Grand Imperial Amphibian.

Now she is here in this room. What 's going on? She doesn 't know. She doesn 't want to know.

The emperor gestures for her to approach. 'We won 't keep you. I 'm sure you would like to rest. '

Maomao bows. 'How may I be of service? '

Like the mystifying situation at the infirmary, the emperor does not say anything and Lakan also does not say anything. They just stare at her. Intently.

Lakan says, 'I haven 't seen you in some time, Maomao. '

'Yes, this is intentional, because I don 't want you to look at me, ' she calmly answers.

'Papa adores you so much though! '

'Okay? '

Maomao 's appearance is different; with her bangs gone, she looks so much like her mother, but Lakan thinks she doesn 't want to hear that.

Lakan comments, 'You 're glowing. Your face, I mean. Wh-Why is that? '

Maomao has started wearing moisturizer because she thinks creamy skin will make Jinshi want to impregnate her more. There are some logical issues with this that she knowingly chooses to ignore, but anyway, she 's actually very annoyed.

She could tell him she started wearing moisturizer, but instead, she says, 'It 's a secret. '

Lakan has factual information about what Maomao 's body looks like, so he knows there are boobs where there were no boobs. He does not wish to address this as his sweet, perfect little petunia might be embarrassed.

He sees her belly, rounder than it is supposed to be.

Lakan swallows fearfully, and asks, 'Maomao, your belly looks a bit round. Have you been 'satisfied? '

Maomao wonders if the emperor sent her food as some sort of favor to Lakan as she just has absolutely no idea what is actually going on and that is the only conclusion she is able to reach.

Placing two hands on her belly, she gives it a pat. 'Yes, I was. Twice. Filled all the way up until I thought I couldn 't take anymore, but I couldn 't stop. '

Lakan feels part of his soul separate and leave his body, and the emperor is surprised at how shamelessly Maomao speaks of fornicating with the prince. Then again, did he expect shame for the girl who taught his concubines what to do with a man 's ballsack?

The woman is perplexed because these men seem horrified that she ate the food she assumes the emperor sent to her due to some situation with Lakan.

Maomao has learned the best way to live is to accept that rich and powerful people are exceedingly strange. It 's best not to question them; most of their problems could be solved by a thoughtful day of simple chores and quiet reflection.

The emperor says, 'I didn 't realize you had such an appetite. I thought you were more subdued. '

'I may have a small body, but I can fit a lot, believe it or not. '

Lakan says, 'M-Maomao, don 't say such things in front of Papa! Surely you were forced! '

'Forced? No one has ever forced me to put anything in my mouth. '

'In your mouth?! ' her father asks.

'Yes. That 's how I usually do it, ' she sarcastically answers, speaking of eating. How else did he expect her to do it.

The emperor says, 'I understand. '

For some reason, she thinks that no one in this room is understanding anything.

Lakan asks, 'And you 'you enjoyed this? '

'It was amazing, ' she pats her belly again.

The Grand Commandant falls from his chair in despair as if her words contained physical force that pushed him. There is a crack, and his bad back assaults him with searing agony. He twists and contorts, despaired by back pain and the news that his little baby girl has been doing filthy things with that horrible prince.

He 's too scared to ask the question, and the emperor said it would disgrace her. But he sees all the signs the emperor does.

He decides that his baby is going to have a baby. Incorrectly.

Emperor Yang 's belief in this false child that does not exist is only strengthened by this conversation and he wants to move on to talk about what they will do about it, but unfortunately, Lakan seems to be immobile, wriggling around on the floor in pain while Maomao, a medical officer, does nothing.

'Is there something you can do for him, Maomao? ' the emperor asks.

Maomao replies, 'I 'm still in training. It might be best for a more trained physician to tend to him. '

Lakan reaches out. 'Maomao, heal Papa! '

With a roll of her eyes, she says, 'Fine, fine. Basen, please assist me. '

Basen, who listened to this whole conversation, does not know that these men thought Maomao was pregnant because he was outside the door earlier, and his Squareness prevents him from seeing further into it. From his perspective, it was just a very weird conversation between Maomao and Lakan, the two strangest people he has ever met, and the emperor.

Maomao orders Basen to grab Lakan 's wrists. She holds his ankles in place and says, 'On three, pull until you hear a popping sound. One, two, three! '

Basen pulls until he hears a snap, and then releases Lakan.

The Grand Commandant says, 'I 've been healed! ' but then he tries to get up and is somehow less mobile than before. 'Oh no, it is somehow much worse?! '

His daughter shrugs. 'Sounds like you need a real doctor after all. Sorry about that. I 'll send someone over. Is there anything else? '

The emperor shakes his head, because he thinks that, maybe what he just witnessed was not an attempt at medicine, but a medical officer ordering a senior member of the military to hurt the commander of the military in front of the emperor? He 's just not sure there was a genuine intent to aid and assist in there anywhere, just a girl who doesn 't like her father, doing something bad to him using Basen 's muscles.

He thinks he witnessed a crime?

Maomao walks away from the conversation so annoyed and confused. There is a part of her that knows this is somehow connected to the 'wrongness ' that the emperor stumbled into when he visited her at the clinic.. And it is her personal policy to not delve into what these people are actually doing or thinking because most of the time, it 's just better not to know.

Lakan has to get treatment, and by the time he meets with the emperor again, it is already late night, with the prince due back from his trip in five more days.

Upstairs, Gyokuyou is in her room, screaming laughter into a pillow because the emperor relayed the perplexing conversation to her while they were having dinner. What an absolute mess! Lakan has joined in with the emperor on his foolishness, but that is according to plan.

Now they have to come up with a real solution.

Gyokuyou considers herself a benevolent in this situation, who has looked down from her throne of KNOWING TO ASK A WOMAN IF SHE 'S PREGNANT INSTEAD OF ASSUMING, and decided to allow this madness to continue for the greater good. She will take credit if it works out, but if Lakan like, kills the prince or something, then she 'll just pretend she didn 't know anything. That seems unlikely, right? Lakan murdering the prince? With that back?

Meanwhile, downstairs, the emperor is now annoyed, because this is his third attempt to have an honest conversation about the thing that he made up in his mind about his son who he pretends is his brother and his love.

He says, 'I am hoping not to speak as emperor and subject, but as one clan leader to another. '

Lakan, now wearing a back brace that holds his back unnaturally straight, answers, 'Then I can speak freely, as one clan leader to another? '

The emperor sighs. 'Fine. The prince will return in five days, and judging by how Maomao looked earlier, it won 't be long before she 's really showing. Maomao is precious to both of our clans, so we do not wish for her to be humiliated or disgraced by this situation. Our responsibility as their elders is to make a deal that will allow them to quietly marry. I would like to come up with a plan and present it to both of them when the prince returns. '

Unfortunately, the only thing Maomao was 'showing ' earlier was that if she is offered a large amount of lobster, she will eat a large amount of lobster, as nature intended for her to do. She has by this time at night returned from the toilet with a flat belly, so she can begin the dinner that came from the emperor 's kitchen.

Lakan says, 'I have an idea. '

'Do you? '

The emperor knows Lakan does not have an idea and he 's just going to say something rude because he has been given permission to do so, but to him, his son got Lakan 's daughter pregnant, so maybe he was entitled to it.

Lakan answers, 'Since the Moon Prince has so much experience pretending to be a eunuch, maybe it is because he truly wants to be one, and we should grant his wish when he returns. I will take care of my little Maomao, and her sweet little kitten. '

'That is obviously out of the question. '

'Why? If a stray he-cat comes around, castration is the best way to keep it from causing problems. '

'Do you think the Moon Prince is a stray he-cat? '

'No, I actually like cats. '

The emperor taps his fingers in the table where they sit, wondering if this is a fruitless endeavor. While every single member of the imperial family adores Maomao with great sincerity, Lakan has never let anyone doubt what his thoughts were about the Moon Prince and Maomao.

It 's not his style to speak sincerely with people outside of the imperial family, and Lakan is a tricky person as it is. He is very hard to talk to, and having conversations with him is notorious unpleasant.

Emperor Yang says, 'I will tell you my concern then. I am unsure you are unaware of this event, but some time ago, the prince almost took Maomao as his consort officially. The reason they did not go through with it was the concern about pregnancy, since there are obviously those who would favor him on the throne instead of the crown prince. They decided they could not have a child together, because if they did, it would create danger. Maomao had already collected ingredients to prevent that outcome, and if necessary, erase it.

'If the political situation is the same for them going forward, there is probably a very good chance that when the prince returns, he and Maomao will quietly decide to have an abortion. I don 't think that is what either of them would want, but they will feel it is best. It 's natural to want a child with the one you care about, is it not? Do you want Maomao to have that experience. '

Lakan doesn 't want to have a serious discussion about the fact that Maomao loves the prince. He really doesn 't, because he feels like he never got an opportunity to love her, but she gave this random dope a chance, like he was a handsome prince or something.

The imaginary pregnancy in the emperor 's mind can only end in a few outcomes for Maomao: she might lose it naturally, she might have an abortion, she might birth out of wedlock to an illegitimate child, or she might join the Moon Prince as a consort or wife. There aren 't any other outcomes available, and the emperor labors patiently with this strange, difficult, and oftentimes childish man to make him understand that everyone in both families wants what is best for Maomao.

Lakan doesn 't want Maomao to face humiliation over this pregnancy that is not real, but he struggles to find a solution that avoids that which also doesn 't include joining her with that stupid prince. He thinks the castration idea is

great

, but the emperor tells him to stop suggesting it.

'That 's not constructive, ' Lakan says, mocking the emperor on this, the one night where he is allowed to speak this way because both of them think the Moon Prince got his sweet little Maomao pregnant.

The old men are misguided, terribly wrong about very important matters, but sincere at least in their love for Maomao.

XXX

At a northern estate, the prince is getting ready to leave in the morning and begin his return trip home. Everything has gone amazingly well so far, and he 's quite pleased with his work. They 've been in the north, and this time of the year, in early summer, the weather is quite nice. Fresh air, cool breezes, plenty of sun.

It 's all been so calm and relaxing.

Most of the bags are packed since they are leaving early.

Gaoshun enters and reports, 'Everything is ready to go in the morning. Good weather is expected, so we should arrive on time. '

'Excellent, thank you. I am grateful to you for your assistance on this trip. It went very well, didn 't it? '

'It did. You carry yourself so well as a young man and a prince. Everyone here was impressed with your talent, ' the attendant answers.

His gift to Maomao is sitting on a dresser, and as Gaoshun speaks to him, he takes the lid off the porcelain jar and smells it again, crinkling his nose. This is a strange good he 's never seen before, some sort of exotic honey from afar that looks quite odd. It was almost incomprehensibly expensive, so he carries it personally or has Gaoshun do so.

The honey is jet black and glossy, and when they passed the trader who had it, and said it had very potent medicinal properties.

It doesn 't smell good, and he heard it 's quite sour, and generally, he understands not to taste anything he is going to give Maomao because sometimes she 'll say something like, 'Oh, if you eat five petals of this flower, your big toe will fall off, ' or something to that effect.

The prince is ignorant to any material facts:

Black honey is only produced in very specific conditions in very specific places, and while it does have some generally useful medicinal properties, what it is really famous for and the reason it fetches such a high price is that it is an ingredient that significantly enhances male virility and desire.

More erections! Longer erections! More desire! More semen! More powerful orgasms! More intensity but actually orgasming will take longer! More bloodflow, more swelling, all of it!

The prince is already so horny as a twenty-three year old virgin who is desperately in love that he struggles to contain his passions at times. His drive does not need to be enhanced; it needs to be gently relieved with great care.

Jinshi is a condemned man who is preparing to journey to the gallows with some rope that he hopes to use to offer to his executioner in hopes of making her feel happy. He doesn 't know what people use rope for, but he thinks the lady on the gallows might like to have some. The lady at the gallows knows what kind of rope this is, eight hundred ways to die a noose, and that when she commands him to put around his neck, he will do without question.

'It really doesn 't smell like honey at all. '

'I am sure that Maomao will enjoy such a rare ingredient, ' the attendant says.

The prince answers, 'I wonder what she will do with it. Maybe she 'll make some medicine that will heal sick children or something. Then maybe I can take a little credit for bringing this to her. '

He will look back at his naivety and find this particular past version of himself innocent and ignorant, and from before that one time he wondered if 'fuck stroke ' was a real thing that people die from and not just something his head made up because his brain went several hours without adequate amounts of blood due to the contents of this jar.

But for now, he doesn 't know. He 's just a boy who wants to make his girl very happy.

And he will, because she will give him this ingredient and he will be compelled like a man possessed by an evil spirit whose sole dark assignment in this world is fill her with as much semen as possible and absolutely nothing else.

This jar contains the power to release the horny wolf that only occasionally manifests with a loving little nibble and a sniff here and there, from very good boy to very bad woof woof rawwwr!

He smiles and says, 'She 's always helping others. She really is special. I 'm sure this will help many people, so it 's fine if it was so expensive. '

Gaoshun smiles gently. 'I hope so as well. You seem to be in such good spirits right now. '

'Maybe it 's the fresh air, but my mind feels so clear now. I 've been really frustrated about things lately, because I 'm so eager about certain matters. For my own sake, I 've been trying to make peace with the fact that Maomao and I just have to be more patient. I trust the emperor will allow us to be happy together when it is time. '

Gaoshun is glad to see the prince calm and momentarily in a calm state. His situation is quite complicated, and truthfully, Gaoshun doesn 't know how long it will be before the emperor is willing to release the Moon Prince from his imperial duties and burdens.

As the one who perhaps spent the most time with this young man when he was a child, watching him fall in love with Maomao has been one of the warmest and most fulfilling experiences of his adult life 'as precious to him as watching his own children find love in their lives. Gaoshun really wants to see them reach their happy ending too and hopes it doesn 't take too long.

Prince Yue adds, 'I 'm really excited for Basen too. I can 't remember a time when I didn 't know him. Now he 's a dad. Are you excited to meet your new grandson? '

Gaoshun beams a bit. 'I am. My wife said in her letter that Lishu is such a good little mother, and Basen is doing so well as a father. '

The idea of Lishu as a mother is just the kind of sickly sweet, lovely thing that no one could hate, like eating a piece of candy. Since joining the Ma clan, she 's changed so much, and they 've been so good for her. She had powerful women to encourage her and have her back, and the intense, unwavering love of Basen.

Gaoshun wonders if the prince feels left behind, as he and Basen had gone through many things together as they grew up. Basen has gone on as a man to become married with a child, and the prince still waits in uncertainty.

Jinshi says, 'Now and then, I think maybe it would be nice if Maomao and I could raise children alongside Basen and Lishu, and continue the tradition of raising Ma and Ka children together. But there are a lot of obstacles preventing that. I honestly don 't even know if Maomao wants to be a mother. '

'You 've never discussed it with Xiaomao? '

'We talked about how we can 't have one right now once, and that was kind of a low point for me. Like, as a man. That I wouldn 't be able to provide a safe life for my child. There are some things that aren 't even about being imperial. She showed up with ingredients because she knew she couldn 't have a child with me, and that really stung. When I think about it, it still hurts. '

This is a heavy subject, and the prince doesn 't want it to be too heavy because he 's trying to stay positive, so he adds, 'And one time I gave her alcohol, and she drank it and told me that she wants to give birth someday so she can eat her own placenta. She spent ten minutes talking about what how she would eat her own afterbirth and did not at any time, actually mention what she would do with the baby. '

Sometimes, Maomao is very weird and very gross, and the prince just accepts this side of her unflinchingly despite the fact that is

such

a strange and off-putting for one human being to utter to another human being.

Gaoshun wonders what would cause that woman that she would look into her lover 's eyes and say to him that she wants to eat human placenta. And he, loving her so completely, just sort of accepts that she should be able to do whatever she wants in life.

They really do belong together.

A normal woman would bore him to death, and a normal man would be unable to comprehend or appreciate Maomao in any sort of meaningful way.

Gaoshun asks, 'Do you want to have children someday? '

Once, Gaoshun asked him this question and he emphatically insisted he would never have children because they 'd just be political complications for him and he didn 't feel any need to. He was nineteen then, and Maomao had made her appearance in his life already, but he wasn 't fully in love then.

'I always think about how unhappy I was growing up, or how complicated it would make things, or how I don 't really know what a good father is like. But I think about it more now, especially since Lishu got pregnant. It seems like that was really special, right? Not really like when a concubine in the rear palace has a child. Different. '

Neither Maomao nor the prince understand anything about intimacy.

Maomao has so much information about sex but views it as a list of techniques and tasks to be done to achieve a specific goal. Like someone who knows how to play an instrument but doesn 't understand that sometimes music is about expression and not entertainment.

They both have bad impressions about pregnancy and birth. In a brothel, having a child is a curse; Maomao was someone 's curse. In the harem, it 's business, a task to be completed because the work needs to be done.

The emperor loves his children, and he does have sex with his concubines, but he rarely engages in the kind of genuine intimacy that commoners freely enjoy in their daily lives.

'The idea of Maomao with a little pregnant belly is just really, really cute to me. I occasionally dream about her like that, ' he admits.

Gaoshun considers this and decides

yes

, pregnant Maomao would be very cute.

The prince 's pining being at the level of 'dreaming of Maomao carrying his child ' is an interesting insight too.

Since there 's not much that can happen at this point with the prince 's future still undecided by the emperor, daydreaming about such things just makes the prince frustrated. He desperately wants to be at peace and be patient with the emperor, but he wonders how long he will be made to wait.

Gaoshun sees his countenance shift and adds, 'With good weather, the return trip should be pleasant. I am sure you 're eager to return home. I 'm sure everyone is looking forward to your return. '

At that moment, Maomao is in her room mashing raspberry leaf by candlelight to enhance her uterus for his return, Lakan is asking the emperor to cut his penis off, the emperor is denying this request, Gyokuyou is laughing like a madwoman as she listens from the hallway, and news of Maomao 's nonexistent pregnancy has inadvertently spread to a third party because Lihaku accidentally overheard the emperor and Grand Commandant arguing as he walked down that hallway to deliver a message to the night guards.

Lihaku is bad at keeping secrets and when it comes to Pairin, and when he arrives at his appointment the next night, he chants in his head that he will not say the thing that he is not supposed to know.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

Don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it, don 't say it.

He'll be fine. All he has to do is not say it. All he has to do is not tell people that Maomao knows and loves like family that Maomao is pregnant, because if he overheard if from the Grand Commandant and the emperor, there 's no way it couldn 't be true,

right

?

But he 's not going to say it, because he is a trusted officer, and this time, he 's not going to tell Pairin state secrets when his penis is in her mouth even though she didn 't ask because her mouth was full and he just 'volunteered the information freely.

This time, Lihaku is going to keep his mouth shut because he is a respectable adult with self-control.

Pairin asks, 'Have you seen our little Maomao lately? How 's she doing? '

Lihaku very calmly answers, 'PREGNANT! She 's pregnant! Little Lady is pregnant! The Moon Prince did it, and her old man is so mad that the he wants to cut his dick off! '

Pairin smiles. 'Really? Our little Maomao?! '

She runs to the doorway and shouts, 'Madam! Master Lihaku brings us news about Maomao. It 's wonderful! '

The old lady, sitting beside Joka, her apprentice, yells, 'Oh? What 's she up to now? '

'She 's going to have a baby! '

The old woman almost falls off her chair. 'My Maomao?

My Maomao

? '

'Yes, a mother! '

Word spreads through Verdigris House quickly that Maomao is carrying the Moon Prince 's child, and unfortunately, that also means that the patrons, who are largely high ranking nobles, also overhear, but they overhear over alcohol and partying and the haze of ignorance.

The news that spreads here among patrons is that 'the Moon Prince got someone at Verdigris House pregnant, ' but the word that spreads among the employees is that Maomao and her sweet prince are going to welcome a child. This leads to the emergence of a third rumor, that he got a courtesan and a medical officer pregnant.

None of these things is correct.

As Lihaku gets ready to leave in the morning, the Deputy Minister of the Treasury sees him as they both spent the night there. 'Oh, you 're 'Lihaku, is it? '

'Yes, that is correct. '

'Would you like to head back to the palace with me? I have a carriage. '

'That 's such a kind offer. I would appreciate that. '

Except once they get in, the man whispers, 'Did you hear that rumor that the Moon Prince got one of the Verdigris House ladies pregnant? I wonder which one. Maybe Joka? Maybe not. They 'd just sit there and stare in disdain trying to figure out which one was prettier. And some other woman who works in the medical office as well. '

Empress Gyokuyou imagines she is part of the solution, but Lihaku knows that he is part of the problem, and rather than correcting his mistake, quietly purses his lips and just hopes none of this comes back to visit him because he 's just a nice guy who loves a girl and wants her to know all of his secrets.